Thursday, February 23, 2012

Wisdom Teeth Removal

     Guess what? I'm stuck in bed, sick, for the second time this month! I'm not sure what exactly happened. My throat hurt and one hour later, I was laying in bed with a fever and fighting the urge to throw up all the food I hadn't eaten. I had to cancel going to Boss Lady's house because I don't want to pass my gross and rather mean sick germs to anyone, especially The Youngest.

     Since I'm stuck in bed, I really don't have much to write about. I could I write about this weird cold-virus-thing, but that wouldn't be very much. (Last night, I kept waking up. My nose wasn't stuffed up but it kept not letting me inhale. It went something like this: "-peacefully sleeping, inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, inha..gaspchokegag, suddenly wake up in a panic- OH SHIT. AM I DYING? I'M GOING TO DIE. D'= -remember that I have the ability to breath through my mouth, breath through my mouth, calm down again-" Then I would repeat the entire process about two hours later.)

     Yeah, that's about all the interesting stuff I had to say and I've been terrible about posting lately, so I was able to come up with something! (Even though I'd like to take the credit, this little memory was inspired by this post, which you should totally go check out because I laughed so hard I cried. Twice.)

     Not long after my birthday last year, I got my wisdom taken out. All four of them. The bottom two were growing in sideways and since I had to go through hell with other teeth removal and braces (which I should be getting off soon, yay!) Mr Tooth Surgeon said that I needed to get all four of them out at once... even though the top two wouldn't have caused issues for months, maybe longer.

     My mom took me for my surgery really early one morning. To be honest, I was terrified. When I was hooked up to the heart machine thing (you know, the one that beeps when your heat beats?), Miss Nurse and my mom kept staring at the machine and back to me, like they were worried something was very wrong.

     Then I was given and IV and the face mask. My mom said, "Oh, that IV will just keep you hydrated and the face mask is just oxygen. You'll get another IV when it's time to knock you out." After The Easter Bunny, Santa Clause, and The Tooth Fairy, I really shouldn't have believed her. The last thing I remember is giggling at something and thinking, "I have no reason to giggle at this. Why is this so funny?"

     According to what I've been told (by the same lady who lied to me for eight years about Santa Clause, but hey, this has a pretty good chance at being true), I was pretty happy being all drugged up on sedatives. My mom was in charge of having me say the alphabet until I passed out.

Me: A..B..C..D..E..F.........H..
Mom: What happened to G?
Me: -uncontrollable laughter- It ran away!
Mom and the nurses: -snickersnickersnicker-
Mom: Where did it run away to?
Me: Shhhhhhhhhhhh. It's a secret! -more uncontrollable giggling-

     I don't know how long I was out, but I was shaken awake by the nurse and dragged down this long white hallway. It's a good thing I was still pretty sedated because I probably would have thought I was dead otherwise. I mean, I went through a long white hallway that (according to my fuzzy memory) resembled a tunnel with a bright light (which I now know was the sunlight) at the end.

     I don't remember a lot from that point on until we got to the bank, so Momma could withdraw some money to get my pain medication. At some point, despite it being ninety degrees out, I started shivering because that's a side effect from the anesthesia wearing off. Apparently, I refused to wait in the car and tried to walk into the bank like everything was fine. Then I collapsed in a chair. I vaguely remember the tellers yelling at my mom to take me home and my mom arguing, "Tell her that! She won't listen!" but I think I blacked out for a few minutes.

     Then we went to WalMart to get all three of my medications filled (pain, infection prevention, and anti-nausea). I decided I was strong enough to walk all by myself, even though I was stumbling like a drunk and struggling not to pass out. My mom told me, "Wait here", and then asked the lady at the door for a wheelchair. Mom walked up behind me with it and told me, "Rachel, sit". Since she had already taken my phone away and was in charge of giving me my medication, I sat. I started moving and then I realized I was in a wheelchair.

     WalMart was mostly a blur, but we had to wait fifteen minutes for the prescriptions to be filled. The main thing I remember was that my mom wanted to pick up some candles so she put them in the wheelchair seat with me. We went around a corner and some wild little kids saw me. Keep in mind, my face was swollen and there was nasty bloody gauze stuffed in my mouth, plus I was wrapped in a blanket and looked completely drugged. Not a pretty sight. They must have agreed because they ran back to their parents and didn't leave them the entire time we were in the store.

     Sadly, seconds after that, the candles in my lap fell onto the ground. They didn't break but they did roll away a few feet. For some reason, that was an absolutely terrible thing that depressed me to the point that I started crying in the middle of WalMart and apologizing (or attempting to, at least) because I dropped the candles even though it wasn't my fault.

     Right after leaving WalMart, I was rushed to a nearby gas station and into the bathroom. Upon looking at myself in the mirror, I discovered that I looked like a vampire with a swollen face who was very messy when it came to eating dinner. Then I had a panic attack and started crying again because I really don't like blood and the gauze got stuck on my braces.

     I must have passed out in the car because I don't know how I got inside. I was told that an old neighbor had stopped by and helped me up the stairs and into bed, but I can't remember. Some time after that, I woke up crying because I wanted my pain medication. Then I was hungry and all my mom would give me was pudding or soup. Then a few days later, I was allowed to have mashed potatoes. Then I was mad because I was tired of pudding, soup, and mashed potatoes. But eventually I was allowed to be off of the medication and all was well again. During all of that, there were also moments when I was hysterically amused for little to no reason.

     P.S. It has since been decided that it's a good thing I've never really had an interest in drinking or drugs because I was so emotionally unstable.

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