Here are Momma's suggestions:
Fire: I enjoy playing with fire. It is hot and rather useful for life. However, it is also dangerous and responsible for deaths. I do not suggest nor encourage you to play with fire. [Disclaimer: No, I mean it. Don't play with fire.]
Kim Kardashian For Mayor: I laughed loudly at this idea before I realized she was serious. I really don't think she should be mayor with all the drama going on in reality TV. But hey, I avoid politics the best I can.
The Car: After owning our car for months and never being able to open the trunk (on Sunday, I made a guess that maybe a body or preserved bones were in it but it was sealed so it would never be discovered), the tail light broke and she had to take it in. After panicking all day because they couldn't get the trunk open and she thought it was going to cost a few hundred bucks, it was discovered somebody must pull the latch while somebody else pushes it open. There weren't any bodies, but there was a funky smell, apparently.
So, yeah. Those were the ideas and I couldn't really make a post out of any of them. They're kind of out of place with this post, but I just thought I should include them.
Sissi is the one who gave me the idea for this post. Momma gave the same idea to me about forty-five minutes later, but Sissi beat her to the punch. Either way, I'm using all of their ideas so maybe happiness will be had by all.
When I was little, we had a dog that originally belonged to my mom. She and her brothers found her in the desert when she was just a puppy. We'll call her Desert Dog (because it sounds like a superhero name). I don't remember a whole lot about Desert Dog, but I remember a lot of stories about her.
When I was a newborn, Desert Dog would stand over me and growl so that only my mom could come to me. If anybody else got to close, even my dad, she would start snapping to protect me. She used to lay curled around me like I was her puppy.
The laws stated that all dogs had to be on the leash, but nothing said somebody had to be holding the leash. My mom had her trained so well, that she knew to look before crossing the street and what "Don't you pee on your leash!" meant. Since we lived on base when I was little, everyone knew everyone else and they all knew Desert Dog. The mailman even used to take her for rides around the block.
From the time I was five until I was thirteen, I always begged both of my parents for a dog. I had some pretty convincing arguments and a really pitiful sad look, but neither one of them gave in until a girl I knew was giving away puppies.
I was staying at her her house for the weekend when I saw them for the first time. On Sunday, when Momma picked me up, I showed her the cutest little white lab puppy with the most puppy chubbies ever. It was a very fat little puppy.
Actually, I put the puppy, who we'll call Girlie Dog, through the window and into her arms. Girlie Dog whined and crawled behind her neck and hid in her hair for a nap. Guess who finally got her puppy?
Throughout the entire time of having her, she went everywhere with me at first. She even went to stay with the friend who gave her to me when I was there on weekends. The thing was, she would not stay on the fucking collar. We even put harnesses on her and tightened them very well, but she would be loose within thirty seconds. She was the Houdini of dogs. Maybe I should call her Houdini Hound.
We got The Big Dog when we still had Houdini Hound and not long after we gave her away, we got The Little Dog. I won't talk about them much because I know I'll have future things to say. I told you all when I got The Stud Dog and he's bound to appear in later posts as well.
I've lost other pets over the years and I'll probably end up talking about them, but I wanted to tell you guys about my very special first two dogs. They're both in better places now, one with God and one in a loving home, but I do miss them.
The post didn't come out as happy as I was hoping, but I'd like to think Desert Dog and Houdini Hound would appreciate this post. (I mean, one knew what "Don't pee on your leash" meant and the other was a magician. I wouldn't be surprised if they could read too.)
Tell me about some of your first pets.