Monday, July 30, 2012


     Let's start off with some news, shall we? I had an interview last week with Mr Fix-It's and Boss Man's boss, to work as a waitress in the restaurant they work in. Apparently, the owner who interviewed me loved how honest I was ("Do you currently have a job?" "Honestly, I have no idea. I'm Boss Man's babysitter but I don't even know what's going on with that.") and wanted to hire me on the spot.

     Unfortunately, the restaurant serves alcohol and where I live, you have to be nineteen to work in a place that serves it, but my birthday is in two months. His personal rules are that you have to be twenty-one to bring it to the table, but that's totally fine because you can trade off with another waitress (you do a favor for them, they do a favor for you). So, on my nineteenth birthday, Mr Fix-It has to tell him to pull my application, I have to have another interview with the owner and at least one of the managers, but I'll have a job as of late September. He even gave me a menu to study so that I can cut training time in half.

     Next up in my news, is that we recently had two fires. The outlets were overloaded by the fridge and window a/c unit being plugged into the same one (by an idiot) and one of them caught on fire and blew the fuse. Mom turned it back on and the outlet caught on fire again. So we didn't have power in about half of our house for a few days and now it seems to be fixed. So, I'm sorry that I haven't really been commenting much on your blogs or my replies were short, but I was using my phone since last Thursday morning.

     Jax asked me a question in my last post that I promised to answer, in detail, here. The question was, "I love how you have such a practical career dream!! It's something that is so specific that it will be easy to work up towards. All you need is a great marketing plan and some investors. Have you taken any steps towards it yet?"

     I have taken some minor steps, such as researching things that I will need and making plans to begin. However, I haven't taken any major steps yet. I can't even open a daycare until I turn nineteen, graduate highschool (which I need a math tutor and a fixed printer to do), have full medical exams to make sure I won't suddenly keel over and die in front of a bunch of kids, take 48 hours of childcare/CPR/first aid classes (it might be 24 hours?), be approved by inspectors, and a few other things. I won't be able to have any ability to get most of this done at the moment.

     I also don't have anyone who is going to invest for me. To put it bluntly, the only college fund I ever even had was $300 dollars saved by Grandma, who then spent it all on new clothes (her closet 10 feet by 10 feet and absolutely full, plus she had clothes in the other closets in her house) because she got a new job. There isn't any money for me to have anyone invest and I doubt they would if they could, since they don't think it's a real job. It's going to take me years to save all the money for me to do this, but you know what? If I can do it on my own, then I can prove I can show them all that I will make something of myself.

     Right now, it's all about earning my diploma with the highest grade possible and saving money so that I can begin to take the other steps. But that's okay because at least I know what I want and where I'm going, which is a lot more than I had a year ago.

     Now... I've been keeping a secret from you all... (Jax, please don't hurt me!)

     Do you remember this post? Where I mentioned a friend who works in WalMart? Well... Here's what's going on with that. He's not just a friend. He's been one of my best friends (no, he's not Brother, that's just gross) for about two years and earlier this month, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I didn't tell Momma right away and she's the only blood-relative who reads this blog so I couldn't put it up on here yet. I told her over the weekend and she's totally cool with it (maybe a little nosy...) so I figured it was time to share with you guys since I promised him that I would start writing about him more.

     Now before you all form an angry mob, let me also add that my own family (except Momma) doesn't even know. So you guys are pretty special even though I'm not going to go into a shitton of details at the moment because I'm sleepy and I want to see what kind of questions you guys are going to have (since I just know you're going to ask something haha).

     My original plan was to write all of that stuff and end it with when Momma and I went to the mall yesterday, but that's a lot of information to throw out there and I'm having a hard time focusing enough to make that just work into an awesome post. So yeah, surprise? haha

P.S. Check out the new blog I share with Mercedes at this link.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Kianwi's Choice

     As you may remember from Monday's post, Kianwi from Simply She Goes won the contest to pick my topic to post about this week. This is her comment from the post:

"Yay! I'm the winner :) So I get to tell you what to post about on Thursday? Okay, I'll give you three topics to choose from:
1. What are ten things on your 'bucket list' that you want to do in your lifetime?
2. What is your favorite childhood memory?
3. What's the one thing you can't live without?"

     Since I'm so awesome, I'm going to try to write about all three topics. That's also mostly because I have no idea what to say about any of them individually. I mean, those are so awesome topics, but I'm not sure that I can do them justice. I guess we'll see, won't we?

What are ten things on your 'bucket list' that you want to do in your lifetime?

     I don't actually have a bucket list. I have things that I want to do but I've never made a bucket list officially, so I'll just have to do it here.

1) I want to graduate high school and take part time college classes in child care, photography, English/writing, and maybe a few other things. There's just so much to learn, that the list keeps getting longer and longer.

2) I want to learn to speak German and Spanish, as well as learn to use sign language (besides the alphabet and flipping somebody off) fluently. I want to learn languages in general, but those are my top ones.

3) I want to travel the world, but I don't want to go by myself. Sissi has already agreed to take a vacation with me somewhere amazing, but we have no clue when or where.

4) I want to be able to get over my shyness enough to be able to share things I've written or be able to sing (hahaha poor people) without thinking "Wow, okay, so they're going to wish they can forget today". I've come a long way already, but I still have a long way to go with this one.

5) I want to be a good role model for my beautiful two year old niece and any other nieces/nephews I have (and my siblings). I'm not entirely sure this one even counts but I want to be that cool aunt that the kid can go to for everything. (Just to clear things up, Sissi's brother is the father to my niece and his skank is the mother. Her entire family adopted me so I'm an aunt.)

6) I want to learn to play guitar, piano, and any other instrument I can. (But guitar first, since I have two guitars already. lol)

7) I want to open my own daycare. A daycare that isn't home run, so I can hire people to help me and make sure those kids have decent care while they're with me, since so many daycares are shit.

8) I want to be able to fully forgive everyone who has ever wronged me. I honestly believe in forgiving but not forgetting, but that's still something that's hard to do sometimes.

9) I want to be able to fully over come my depression. I don't know if that's something I'll ever be able to fully do, but I want to be happy and find a way to make it happen.

10) I want to be able to make peace with my family about everything, including earning their respect and support for making my own decisions. Even if that means that I have to prove myself to them.

What is your favorite childhood memory?

     Honestly, I have no idea. I'm not even sure what the age limit is on "childhood". Does that mean when I was little? Younger teenage years? Either way, I don't know what my best memory is from any of that. How about I just list a few of my favorite memories in general?

1) This is a weird one, since it really shouldn't be a happy memory but it is. When I was in third grade, I was in a school play (I was a butterfly and had all of the complicated and super long lines, since I was one of the few who could read fluently) and there was this boy who was always pushing me around and starting shit. He even got his friend in on it. Well, one day, he and I were in rehearsal on the stage and he started pushing me around and hitting me again (this had been going on for months and nobody was doing anything about it) and I finally had enough. I shoved him into the brick wall we were by (waiting for our cue, I think?) hard enough that his head bounced some and he never touched me again. This shouldn't be happy, but I finally started to learn to stand up to myself and if I get hit, I have to hit back harder, and that made me a lot stronger as a person. (Also, I absolutely loved preforming in the play, so those are pretty good memories too.)

2) When I was about fourteen, I went to my dad's house for about a month during the summer. Like Sissi and I, his best friend is his brother. They were best friends since I was a toddler (I used to "pack" my own diaper bag to run away to his house). His daughters call my dad their uncle and I call their dad my uncle. One of the last memories I have of him, is when all of us and a bunch of people Uncle RA knew went to ride ATV's (4-wheelers). For those of you who aren't from the south, we went muddin', which is basically riding through the mud and getting really super gross. (We had to wash my shoes off at a carwash on the way to start the 12 hour drive back to my mom's house.) Uncle RA is the one who convinced me to learn how to drive an ATV and really got me to have fun when I was surrounded by super loud drunk people that I didn't know. He even trusted me enough to let me drive it on the dirt road back to his wife's store at night, even though it was a few miles and I had never driven an ATV before. (Granted, my dad was helping me, but that's not the point.)

3) A much more recent memory, is when I got to fly out to see Sissi last year for her spring break. I got to spend nine days with her and that's like thirty whole posts on it's own. Let me just simply say, that the hug from when I got off the plane and she finally found me and getting to play with my beautiful niece for the first time was beyond amazing. Brother is the one who made it happen, by getting the ticket for me and literally making me cry out of happiness (that's an amazing memory too but really goes with this one). Adding to that, seeing Sis a couple months later was pretty amazing as well, which is also it's own post.

4) When I was really little (according to my mom, I was like three), I was super close with my dad's dad, Pawpaw. He lives in a really old farm house with a shitton of land. While I was little, he had a garden out back. Every time he would pick me up, he would ask me for directions and how to get to the house and say he hoped I remembered because he didn't. One of the weekends I spent with him and Memaw (my dad's mom), like every other weekend, we worked in his garden and he was teaching me different things. He found an earthworm and told me, "Even if you're sure you know it's a worm and not a snake, don't touch it. Make your daddy do it." I guess this is just a happy memory because I remember how close we were when I was so little. (And, I don't know if I touched worms when I was little, but every time Daddy takes me fishing, I make him bait my hook for me.)

5) For my tenth birthday, my mom, her mom (Grandma), and her little brother planned out an afternoon where I got out of school early and got to go horse back riding with Uncle BS (he's kinda stuck with the...bullshit initials [you're welcome Sissi; I'm sorry everyone else, that was a horrible pun] the worst part is his brother's initials are BM... bowel movement). It was one of the few times I got to ride a horse and I absolutely loved it. After that, we all met for pizza and it was just a really good birthday.

What is one thing you can't live without?

     The people I love. It's as simple as that.

Monday, July 23, 2012

And We Have A Winner!

     Just because I'm mean, I'll be posting the winner at the bottom of the post so you have to read everything before you get to it. (I mean, you could scroll down, but that's not really nice and you should totally read my post first.)

     First off, I have a bit of sad news. Yesterday, when I was checking for any new posts from ya'll, I looked and saw that I still had nineteen followers, which always makes me smile. A little while later, I was super bored so I looked again and I was suddenly down to eighteen followers. After a bit of detective work, I figured out who had suddenly decided to ditch my blog, but I won't give out their name.

     I just want to put it out there that that actually bugs me a lot. I mean, I know not everyone is going to love my blog, but it would at least me nice to know why I'm suddenly not good enough to be followed anymore. Because I curse too much? Because I've been lacking on the funny stories? Well, in that case, it sucks for them because I have another Ashley story. Who doesn't love a good story from when I talk to her? (PS, if you're new, this is the link to her blog.)

     As usual, I can't post everything that she said, since she is a very vulgar girl. Especially for somebody who doesn't curse. (No, seriously, I'll drop f-bombs three times in a sentence and some of the stuff she says makes me stop and be like "Wow, um, okay. Don't let your kid hear you use that word/phrase.")

     But that's okay, because I'm going to admit something to ya'll that I didn't think I wanted to tell anyone (except Sissi, because she knows everything about me).

     Ashley has been learning to belly dance because it's a great way to tone your abs and all that shit. She has been complaining about how Shakira (ha! I'm not totally stupid when it comes to people who don't do country or rock music) is so talented at dancing and how she's jealous. Somehow, that turned into her wanting to webcam with me (she lives in a different state than me, like EVERY FUCKING PERSON I know) to teach me out to belly dance.

     Okay, now, let me give you a little bit of a back story. Back when Sissi and I first started to become good friends, some of the main jokes were "Wow, Rachel, you can walk in a straight circle!" or "You know, if you got drunk, you'd probably be able to walk in a straight line." or "Damn, I hope you don't get pulled over. You'd never pass the test to walk straight and you'd be sober!" Plus, I am a klutz (like, I have dropped my phone 20+ times this week- that phone case was the best $48 I ever spent) and I'm always falling into things and shit. And I forget which is right and left sometimes. Wanna know what that means?

     I can't dance at all. Seriously. It's just a bad idea.

     But some how, Ashley convinced me to lift up my shirt to show my belly because she's a pervert and thinks I'm sexy that's how you know if you're using the correct muscles and shit. And then she actually tried to teach me one of the basic steps, which included turning, and me constantly tripping over my own feet.

     At one point, I dropped my phone. (I wasn't even touching it. I was moving my laptop so I could stand up.) A few times, my foot got stuck on my pants and I almost face-planted. A few other times, I just lost balance and had to catch myself on the table the laptop was on. Another couple times, I nearly knocked the laptop over. It... It was just bad, okay?

     We have now decided that we are both jealous of Sharika and since it was fucking hilarious, there will be more practice sessions to come. (No, Momma, you do not get to watch. That is why I waited until you were snoring in bed before I told Ashley to turn on the music.)

     Since we were already dancing, she also tried to teach me a couple other things, which ended up even worse because I don't know right from left without looking at my fingers. (Because when you hold up your index finger and thumb, your left hand makes and L and your right hand makes a backwards L.)

     After we were both sweating and my foot (it's been like six or seven weeks and I still have that hole in it, what the fuck?) was starting to hurt, we sat down to talk, in which she started.... Oh, I can't tell you guys that, sorry. Well, after we cooled off, I got to watch her run around in circles while she blasted awesome music because she had to clean her house.

     And she even sang for me. Guys, you have got to hear her sing. Oh. My. Gosh. Ashley is so fucking talented. (This is your subtle hint to leave her a shitton of comments begging her to let me post her youtube link or a video or have her to a guest post where she sings for you. You will be thanking me when you hear her.)

     By the way, yes, she was drinking. I found that out when she showed me her margarita and asked if I knew what that was. (Really, Ashley? Even I'm not that alcohol stupid. lol) However, she still says that she was only tipsy, so apparently being drunk has nothing to do with how vulgar she is. But she doesn't cuss. Which I still don't understand.

     I also learned, that even though she rarely comments, she stalks my blog. She totally creeps on my blog for posts but never comments to say she stopped by and hasn't had the energy to update her blog. So, I guess that kind of makes her a creeper, since I had to show her my tummy? But I love her and hate creepers so she's not a creeper by that logic alone.

     At one point, I had to pee, so I told her that and then I went to the bathroom. Like right after I got back, she had to pee and when she came back she was very quick to inform me that "That was like the best pee ever. Don't pretend you've never had one. You know you have. Like when you don't want to get up in the middle of the night and wake up in the morning." So yeah, thought I'd pass that message on to everyone. Apparently, she had the best pee ever and we should all know what exactly she meant.

     Okay, so, that was totally out of order and all over the place. But we all know that you came to find out the winner anyways, so here you go!

Friday, July 20, 2012

Car Name

     Okay guys, yesterday I asked for help naming my mom's car. You can submit as many names as you want and the name will be randomly selected to make it fair. The winner gets to pick the topic for Thursday's post, since I'm broke and can't currently afford a real prize. (Would it help if I said I would give you full credit?)

     Obviously I should have given you more information about the car because you're all asking me questions. It is a tan 1999 Ford Contour. It runs very smoothly and it quite easy to drive, though it currently has a oil leak that might crack the headgasket. Or that's what Mom said? I don't really know. I don't speak car. The gender is totally up to you, but I have a picture for you!

     I was asked about the car's personality and I would have to say it's very loyal and strong, kind of a smart ass, and most certainly under-appreciated (which might be why it's having mechanical issues). It does more than just transporting us places, such as holding a bunch of shit for my house or that Mom needs at both home and work, helping me learn to drive, and providing a kick-ass radio.

     Just comment with any name or names you have and I will randomly choose one on Monday.

     Now, onto some less happy stuff.

     I have the news on (because of Momma) and they're talking about the shootings at the movie theater in Aurora, Colorado. When I woke up, all I heard was that there was a shooting at the Batman premier and I didn't know where or when it was. Even though I knew where my poor friend who works at WalMart was last night, the first thing I thought was that he was in the theater, because he goes to see all the superhero movies and stuff. It was terrifying beyond words.

     I can't even imagine what they went through and what they're going through. I don't really know what to say about it, but I just wanted to say that my prayers are with everyone there. I hope that there's some sort of fund to make sure everyone gets the help they need, especially all those children who will have even less understanding than the adults, but I'm honestly just happy so many people made it out alive.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

I Feel Like A News Reporter

     This isn't really a real post today. Well, it kinda is and you should read it, but it doesn't really have any stories or pictures or anything. I haven't really had anything happen and my collection of pictures/conversations is not yet big enough for a post. So I'm just going to ramble a bit.

     I promised to keep you guys updated on my job search and so far, I haven't had any luck. Hopefully, I'll hear back from a restaurant that's just opening up, because I think I have a pretty decent shot at that. (When I went for an application, the lady was on the phone for like twenty minutes and was impressed by how patient I am [hahahahahahahhaha] and said she would tell her boss to keep an eye out for my application, but I had to apply online.) Unfortunately, it wouldn't send for like two and a half days, so I can only hope there are still openings.

     Next up on today's new, we are having issues with the car. Mr Fix-It is changing out the spark-plugs and giving it a tune-up, in hopes that will fix the way it stalls out every time you step on the brake for too long. (I'm the one who discovered that, while I was driving. It was not fun.) For some reason, that made Momma want to name the car and that oh so important task has been placed in my hands. So, naturally, I'm passing off that responsibility to people much more fitted for the job. Yep. You guys get to pick. Submit whatever name (or names) you like and I'll randomly select the winner on next Monday. (Hey, if you want to make it a contest, I'll even let you pick what topic I'll write about next Thursday. Sorry, I'm too broke to send a real prize.)

     And, I have two last little bits of news. My dear friend Mercedes and I have started a little project. We have a shared blog that started off with the idea of photography and then took on a life of it's own, with tips and how-to's and recipes and a bunch of other shit. We're just getting started, but if you like that kind of stuff, you should check it out.

     And finally, this is a monthly reminder that Anti-Bullying Week is November 19-23. I'm working on a project to help bring awareness to it and as I mentioned here. I'd like you all to do the same, but keep things sane and reasonable. And if you want, you should invite your followers to do the same. Anyone to sends me the links to their post(s) will be featured in a post and on a page I will be adding. You must send me the post or I won't know to add it.

     Since this was a sucky post, I will leave you with a poem my mom just wrote about how there is no teriyaki beef jerky at the gas station for me and how sad that makes me. (Not really, but I do want some.)

Oh, woe is me
I have no teriyaki
It is a sad day for me
After I pee
I will climb a tree
And cry for teriyaki
And pray for its return to me
This is my ode to teriyaki
Sad, sad day for me

Monday, July 16, 2012

Random Shit

     Alright dudes, I'm going to start off with explaining why I didn't post on Saturday. For my new readers, I accept guest posts every Saturday and give credit to the writers'. I really enjoy doing this because it really helps promote traffic between blogs and it's a lot of fun to see what ya'll can come up with.

     However, the past four weeks have resulted in a promise for a post and either the original writer bailing, sending the post on Sunday instead of Saturday, or shit coming up. So from now on, I'll post when somebody (that's you, the reader) sends me a post at If I don't have a post in my email, there won't be a post that Saturday.

     Now, I have to ask you guys for some help. As most of you probably know, I'm struggling to find a new job since Boss Man and Boss Lady fucked me over and I do not want to have to go back to work for them (even if I love the kids). Does anyone have advice to help me fill out applications to make more people interested or how to find jobs (besides checking the newspaper online or hitting up places with "Now Hiring" signs hanging on the window)? I'd really appreciate it.

     And, since I know you all came for something besides that, I have a little video for you. A couple days ago, I was driving Momma around the trailer park she manages (yes, I know, she is a brave woman). Then we saw a couple of guys trying to remove a tree with a chainsaw and a van. So I put the car in park and pulled out my camera phone.

     It could either be genius or a disaster. Let's watch, boys and girls!

     [Disclaimer: I just feel the need to add here, that it's probably a better idea to call somebody to remove the tree or using the proper tools, if you have the proper knowledge, instead of looking around and grabbing whatever shit might work. Just sayin'.]

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

What Is A Bistro?

     Anybody know the answer? No? Yeah, neither did Momma or I. I went to work with her to make some extra money (lol, I'd have to have money for it to be extra money) a few weeks ago. Since the office is like fifteen feet away (unless you're counting door to door), I was like "Fuck getting ready, I'm lazy and want to be comfy".

     Not a big deal. It would not be the first time these people have seen me in PJ's and without doing my hair or make-up, but at least I matched this time. Well, I regretted it when I walked out the door because I was wearing a baggy black shirt that goes to my thighs and dark blue sweatpants. It was about 90-100 degrees outside. But I was like "Eh, whatever, I'll be in the A/C".

     After helping her for about an hour or so, maybe less, she suddenly decided we absolutely had to go grocery shopping and I absolutely had to go with her. Next thing I knew, she was dragging me into WalMart. We all know those people who wear awful clothes and look like they crawled out of bed, right? (Especially you; you know who you are, since you work there.) You won't believe this shit.

     Every fucking person there was nicely dressed in church-type clothing or stuff they would wear on a date or something. I was the only person who just crawled out of bed. Nobody else. The one day that I wouldn't blend in, in the place EVERYONE blends in by wearing PJ's (besides a slumber party). Go figure.

     After that, Momma was like, "You know what? I'm hungry. Let's go to the bar and grill so we can try their food." I do not like stupid drunk people so I convinced her that we should go some where else. Some how, we ended up at a bistro. Not knowing what a bistro was, we decided it was something we might as well check out.

     We honestly didn't think we were going to be let in. I have never seen somebody look at me like I was trash before (well, I might have, but this bitch could not have been more obvious) and we thought we were going to be turned away. It was the nicest restaurant I have ever been in.

     We were led to our seats and handed menus that we had no idea how to read. It must have been a shitton of made up words because that is all I saw. Do you know how terrifying it is to try to order something when you have no idea what it is? I thought I was going to be eating sheep brains or cow bladder or goat stomach or something equally gross. (And don't you dare comment and say that isn't gross, because it is.)

     I can't really describe the experience well enough, but don't worry, we had our camera phones handy. The only picture I won't show you is the one taken while I was texting the person who knows who they are, because it shows my face, but I was trying to explain just how out of bed I looked. And how I did NOT belong there at all.

For starters, we had salad. I have yet to figure out why my fork and plate were frozen. Literally.

Some bread with herbs and oil. Wtf?

Another picture, but it's all dark and you can't even see the bread so I don't even know...

Some sort of crab appetizer, that was actually really good.
Sorry, I forgot to take a picture, so it's half-eaten.

My dinner. I still have no idea what it was besides seafood.

Mom's dinner. Apparently, she was the smart one.
     There were also crackers with some sort of spreadable butter but we forgot to take pictures of that before they took it off of the table. And I'm sure you're dying to know how fancy it looked like since I keep going on and on about that. (Either that or you just want me to wrap this up because I'm rambling.)

You could also eat outside, but like I said, it was really hot outside.

This is what I saw the entire time I sat down.

The table next to our's.
My grandma has identical glasses and you can kinda see the crackers on that table.

A random painting Mom saw in the bathroom, which was apparently, not very fancy at all compared to the rest of the place.

Christmas lights. Around the curtains. In June.

Do you know how hard it is to take pictures when the hostess station is on the other side of that staircase and people feel the need to go up and down the staircase every two minutes?
     The food (despite lacking the ability to pronounce any of it) was pretty good and the waiter was a hell of a lot nicer than the hostess, but I'm not sure we're allowed back since we were in a hurry and after we paid (by leaving cash on the table) we ran to the car. Some guy who left went back inside when he saw us leave and Mom telling me to "hurry up" (excuse me, but YOU run on a foot that still won't heal after getting a nail through it Momma) so we're almost certain he accused us of leaving without paying. Also, the only other people we saw there were super old and looked like they had never even heard of jeans and a t-shirt.

P.S. I had to use Google to find out what a bistro is. Apparently it's a small, fancy restaurant.

Monday, July 9, 2012

Remember That Post I Was Supposed To Write?

     You know, the one about when I took Momma to the movies to see Rock of Ages for her birthday, even though it was ten days late? Well, nearly a month later, I finally got my phone and laptop to cooperate so I could get the pictures from that day so I could show you everything!

     First of all, for those of you who have not seen this movie, it was a fucking musical. Yes, a musical. Where people spontaneously burst into song and dance. We discovered this in the very first scene where it started off with a girl sitting in a bus, singing along to her tape player, and then BAM THE ENTIRE FUCKING BUS IS SINGING ALONG. Not even kidding.

     Well, since it was 80's music and Mom loves 80's music (and I like a lot of it) we decided to stick it out and see what it had to offer. After all, Tim Burton's Corpse Bride and A Nightmare Before Christmas were decent musicals, as well as West Side Story (well, I only like the music and dancing from that because it makes me laugh) so we were like, "Eh, why not? Paid fifteen dollars, plus snacks, so we should at least try."

     Let me just say this... It is not a PG 13 movie as it claimed to be. There was a little girl with her... Well, we don't know who he was with. He appeared to be an uncle but whatever, that's not the point. She was only like nine or ten. I'm eighteen years old and I was scarred for life by some of the... pervertedness. I can't imagine the nightmares that poor child is going to have after seeing some of that shit.

     I've never seen Russel Brand in anything or really know anything about him, but he was probably the best part of the movie (besides the music, which was pretty bad ass). His character made everything hilarious and I was really impressed since I've heard a bunch of bad stuff about him.

     What a crappy movie review, eh? Well, I'm not a movie reviewer so I don't have to write a good one. Besides, we all know you came to find out if Momma snuck bacon into the theater like she promised she was going to do.

Yes. She did sneak in bacon.

And I snuck in a candy bar.

I also snuck in root beer.
      We actually paid for popcorn, a giant pretzel with nacho cheese, and a hot dog each. We had yet to eat and it was nearly three in the afternoon. Except for the popcorn, we finished everything before the movie was over. I spent a good portion of the movie fishing popcorn out of my shirt/bra because Momma has really good aim.
That is Chinese hot tea because Sissi had no idea what it was and it is amazing.
     After the movie, we went out for Chinese (yes, more food). While we were eating, I kept smelling popcorn and I think it was me, since I had little pieces of popcorn in my hair still.

     Wow. Okay. So this post was a lot shorter than I thought it would be but yeah, I don't really have anything else to say at the moment. Most of that day consisted of "What the fuck is up with that? Is that a musical? Holy shit I think it is." and "Momma! Hide your friggen bacon so we don't get kicked out!"

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Guest Post Saturday: Edition Eleven

     Hey there guys! I have a special treat for you today! Ashley of My Fight Inside (yes, the one who always gives me drunk stories to share) has done a video blog for you... while drunk! Ashley (the brunette) and her friend Ashlee Nicole (the blond) did three takes for you, but this is the only one that AdSense would approve of. We think. Anyways, if you want to do a guest post please go here and then send me an email at

     Okay, so I am having some issues uploading it. It's set on private and since her phone got smashed, I can't text/call her to ask her to change the settings. However, I can link you to it and that should work. When I talk to her next, I'll see if she can change the settings so I can upload the actual video, for now you'll just have to click this link right here.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

A Much Happier Post

     Okay guys, remember this  unhappy post from earlier this week? Well, I have an update. Apparently, as soon as Boss Lady's mom left, Boss Man's dad arrived and nobody knows when she's leaving. So, I still have a job. However, I learned that from Mr Fix-It but only because he works with Boss Man. I have yet to be contacted and I plan on finding a new job anyways, because of all their shit. (It's pretty bitchy, but I want to get a job and have them call and then I can be like, "lol My bad, I thought I was fired so I found a new job".)

     But here's where it gets really good. Kianwi from Simply She Goes has given me my second award!

     Thank you Kianwi!!! You really know how to make somebody smile. This award really helped get my mood up this week and I really, really can't thank you enough for that.

The Rules:
1) List seven facts about yourself.
2) Pass it on to ten other bloggers.

     Those are pretty simple rules to follow. Well, it's never easy to decide who to give an award to when there are so many people to deserve it, but you know what I mean. Unfortunately, I have a list of 30-40 blogs I keep meaning to check out but haven't gotten around to and over half the people on the list of blogs I read don't do the award thing, so I'm only going to list a few.

1) I want to get a belly ring and a tattoo of a rosary on my foot/ankle but I'm scared of how much it would hurt. (This coming from the girl who has six piercings current but seven done total. haha)

2) I was born with one blue eye and one green eye. One of Mom's friends said that anyone born with two different colored eyes is a demon child or something. I thought it was funny.

3) When I was filling out my paperwork to get my learner's permit, I had to ask my mom my current eye color and how much I probably weigh, because I wasn't sure.

4) I write poetry about things that make me extremely emotional.

5) I want to travel the world but I don't like traveling in planes so that's going to take a bit of planning. (Plus, I'm kinda broke at the moment.)

6) I have this thing where I can't sit with my back to people without freaking out. Even in theaters, I have to sit on the top row. When I'm sleeping, my back has to be to the wall and I have to face the door.

7) When I took a shower this morning, the medicine cabinet was closed. When I looked up while in the shower, it was partially opened. I freaked out.

     I think I might be getting a little better at listing facts about myself. What do you think? At least they're shorter and it didn't take me an hour to write, so that's probably a good thing. Anyways, now it's time to announce the winners!

1) A Bozo's Abbozzo
2) Raviolis & Waterworks
3) The Transformed Non-Conformist

P.S. If you click the picture of the awards on the side of my blog, it'll take you to the blog of the person who awarded me.

P.S. #2 If you want to check out my first award, go here.

Monday, July 2, 2012

Not A Happy Post

     As the title says, this is not a happy post. If you want funny or happy, you'll have to wait until a later post and I apologize for that. I also apologize for posting so late. I thought all of Monday was Sunday and now, at 12:54 in the morning on Tuesday, I realize that I haven't posted.

     I have had a lot on my mind lately and it's not really an excuse for being a crappy blogger, but it kind of is, when I try to keep things funny. I haven't felt very funny lately, except for random spurts that only last a few minutes and I never think to take the time to write up a post for you guys.

     For my older readers, you may be wondering why I haven't mentioned Boss Lady, Boss Man, or the kids lately. For my newer readers, you may be wondering who they are. I work as a full time babysitter of three kids: The Oldest, The Middle Child, and The Youngest.

     Or at least, I thought I worked for them full time.

     You see, last month, on the Thursday before Memorial Weekend, I stepped on a nail and tore my foot open. It hurt like a bitch and I ended up gushing blood from my foot. I worked again that Saturday and I was told, "Hey, Boss Lady's Mom is coming for the week so we're may not need you. We'll text and let you know."

     On the tenth, I got a text from Boss Man saying, "Hey, sorry, Boss Lady was supposed to text you but (as usual) she forgot. Her mom wants to watch the kids tomorrow and we'll let you know how it goes for if we'll need you for the rest of the week. Have a good night!"

     This is the last time I have heard from them.

     I have not gotten a text, a phone call, an email (not that they have my email address), or a fucking letter (not that they have my address?). They never let me know how things went but I assumed things went fine since they really suck at updating me on when I'm going to work and stuff.

     At this point, I can only assume that this is some new low bitchy move at firing me. That's what happened when I babysat for some other lady. She got her mom to do it for free and I was out of all the money I was trying to save for a car (which ended up going to other shit anyways, but that's besides the point).

     So, here I am, sitting on my mom's couch with roughly three months until my 19th birthday, watching as all my friends grow up and get ready to go to college. My house is next door but I have no money to even pay my own phone bill (which, is only $25 a month, because I'm on a family plan so I only pay for the cost of my added phone) because all of my money ($1000+) and borrowed money (I don't even want to KNOW how much) has gone into fixing up my house which has broken windows, no electric, and no furniture.

     Think that's pretty bad? I ain't done yet.

     Not only did they totally fuck me over, when I could have been using the time to look for a job (since, I can only assume they don't need me anymore), but I have very little chance at finding a job. I'm 18 without a diploma (that's a whole other post), without any "real job" experience (because apparently watching 3+ kids, giving them first aid, cooking, and even cleaning the house doesn't count as anything?), and without my own license.

     Here's the kicker.

     I got my permit last week. (Due to the school shit, I was barely allowed to even get that because where I live is full of fucktards who think you should be able to own a shotgun, work, and graduate at 18 but not have your own bank account, a grown-up doctor, or legal signature until you're 19.)

     That means I should be able to legally drive alone within a few months (my goal is my birthday) so when my mom is driving me around to get applications until I can drive the crazy ass busy roads without throwing up (every single road around us is known for the violent crashes that result in death half the time), I get to look like a child who may not have a ride, with makes me look unreliable.

     So, I'm pretty fucked.

     Not only is this a beyond stressful situation that I don't know how to handle, but it's causing me worse issues. I've mentioned before how I've suffered from depression. Here's the thing about depression, it doesn't just go away. It takes a lot of time and work to be able to overcome it and there are still some days, I don't want to get out of bed and I just want to cry myself to sleep.

     With all the stress and the sudden loss of recently gained independence (and even losing the kids, because when you know them, you fall in love with them), it's starting to put me back into that place more than once in a while. Every night this week, I've wanted to cry until I fall asleep. During the day, when I can occupy myself, it's usually not to bad and I can even be happy. But then night rolls around, things calm down, and all of my thoughts are focused on, "What in the world am I going to do now? I'm back to square one but upwards of $2000 less."

     It's not a good feeling to have.

     And it's an even worse feeling to have, knowing that nobody is going to want to hire you because you screwed up something that you don't have the ability to fix, even though you regret it every single day.

     I know you guys expect happy stories or funny "What will Rachel's mom do next?" or silly "I wonder if Sissi and Rachel are going to creep on each other?" posts. I really wish I could give you guys that, but right now, I've just got nothing. It's hard enough keeping my head up and hoping I'll find a job within the next few weeks. I'm not going to stop posting, but I'm not sure how funny anything is going to be for a while.

     But if you read this, even though it's not a happy post, I want to thank you.

P.S. I actually did great on my permit test. There were 30 questions and the most you could miss was 6. They let me stop at question 27 because I only missed 3.

P.S. #2 I still have a hole in my foot from the nail. Every time it begins to heal, I reopen it.