Not a big deal. It would not be the first time these people have seen me in PJ's and without doing my hair or make-up, but at least I matched this time. Well, I regretted it when I walked out the door because I was wearing a baggy black shirt that goes to my thighs and dark blue sweatpants. It was about 90-100 degrees outside. But I was like "Eh, whatever, I'll be in the A/C".
After helping her for about an hour or so, maybe less, she suddenly decided we absolutely had to go grocery shopping and I absolutely had to go with her. Next thing I knew, she was dragging me into WalMart. We all know those people who wear awful clothes and look like they crawled out of bed, right? (Especially you; you know who you are, since you work there.) You won't believe this shit.
Every fucking person there was nicely dressed in church-type clothing or stuff they would wear on a date or something. I was the only person who just crawled out of bed. Nobody else. The one day that I wouldn't blend in, in the place EVERYONE blends in by wearing PJ's (besides a slumber party). Go figure.
After that, Momma was like, "You know what? I'm hungry. Let's go to the bar and grill so we can try their food." I do not like stupid drunk people so I convinced her that we should go some where else. Some how, we ended up at a bistro. Not knowing what a bistro was, we decided it was something we might as well check out.
We honestly didn't think we were going to be let in. I have never seen somebody look at me like I was trash before (well, I might have, but this bitch could not have been more obvious) and we thought we were going to be turned away. It was the nicest restaurant I have ever been in.
We were led to our seats and handed menus that we had no idea how to read. It must have been a shitton of made up words because that is all I saw. Do you know how terrifying it is to try to order something when you have no idea what it is? I thought I was going to be eating sheep brains or cow bladder or goat stomach or something equally gross. (And don't you dare comment and say that isn't gross, because it is.)
I can't really describe the experience well enough, but don't worry, we had our camera phones handy. The only picture I won't show you is the one taken while I was texting the person who knows who they are, because it shows my face, but I was trying to explain just how out of bed I looked. And how I did NOT belong there at all.
|For starters, we had salad. I have yet to figure out why my fork and plate were frozen. Literally.|
|Some bread with herbs and oil. Wtf?|
|Another picture, but it's all dark and you can't even see the bread so I don't even know...|
|Some sort of crab appetizer, that was actually really good.|
Sorry, I forgot to take a picture, so it's half-eaten.
|My dinner. I still have no idea what it was besides seafood.|
|Mom's dinner. Apparently, she was the smart one.|
|You could also eat outside, but like I said, it was really hot outside.|
|This is what I saw the entire time I sat down.|
|The table next to our's.|
My grandma has identical glasses and you can kinda see the crackers on that table.
|A random painting Mom saw in the bathroom, which was apparently, not very fancy at all compared to the rest of the place.|
|Christmas lights. Around the curtains. In June.|
|Do you know how hard it is to take pictures when the hostess station is on the other side of that staircase and people feel the need to go up and down the staircase every two minutes?|
P.S. I had to use Google to find out what a bistro is. Apparently it's a small, fancy restaurant.