Wednesday, September 12, 2012

I'm Going To Regret This Post

     I don't know why, but old people really hate me. I don't see any sweet little old people grandparent types. I see the "GET OFF MY LAWN YOU SPOILED BRAT. I'LL SIC MY DOGS ON YOU AND BEAT YOU WITH MY CANE." types. Or the creepers. Sometimes they seem like a combination. Honestly, I try to be nice to all of the old people, but for some reason they just don't like me.

     Momma and I went to a Sams on Sunday. We haven't been to one since I was about seven and accidentally ate something with spinach, which resulted in a pretty nasty break out since I'm allergic to it (we didn't blame them, we just didn't really buy stuff there anyways). But we decided to go anyways because it was on the way home and we had basically nothing else to do.

     The first thing I noticed when we drove up were all of the old people. There were canes, walkers, gray hair, and wrinkles everywhere. So, I was like, "HOLY CRAP. THERE ARE SO MANY OLD PEOPLE. WHY? THEY HATE ME." because I didn't want somebody to threaten to punch me or try to run me over with their car again.

     Then I realized why. "Oh. That makes sense. There's a hearing aid center here." Then Mom started laughing and shaking her head and said, "Rachel, you're terrible."

     Um, what? I'm terrible for making an observation? I'm not the one who's always making completely irrelevant and messed up comments that I won't even repeat. So, I did what anybody would do. I texted Sissi to make sure that I'm not the terrible one in my family.

Sissi: Thats like saying why are there so many puppies. Oh. Its a pet shop.
Rachel: EXACTLY OMG
Sissi: Hahaha :P WHY ARE THERE SO MANY MANY PEOPLE WITH GLASSES IN THIS EYEWARE PLACE
Rachel: WHY ARE THERE SO MANY CHILDREN IN THIS DAYCARE
Sissi: WHATS WITH ALL THESE VEGETABLES IN THE PRODUCE DEPARTMENT
Rachel: THERE ARE SO MANY TOYS IN THIS TOY STORE WTF
Sissi: IM NOT TRYING TO BE 'THAT GUY' BUT WHATS WITH ALL THE NAIL POLISH IN THIS SALON...
Rachel: I DON'T WANT TO MAKE A SCENE BUT THERE ARE A LOT OF FLOWERS IN THIS GARDEN
Sissi: WHATS WITH ALL THE OLD PEOPLE IN THIS HEARING AID PLACE. oh wait...
Rachel: hahahahahahahahahaha I love you xD
Sissi: I love you too lol xD

     This is the point in the conversation where I read everything to Momma to prove my point. I mean, I'm not terrible. But what I'm about to tell you is. Sissi is my witness that this happened. This is where I really prove my point by what Momma said.

Rachel: My mom
Rachel: Omg
Rachel: I read her this
Rachel: And she added
Rachel: "Why are there so many whips and chains in this porn store?"
Rachel: And
Rachel: "Whats with all the condoms in the basket? Oh? Planned Parenthood?"
Sissi: O M G she da bess

      Sissi and I were having an innocent conversation with puppies and flowers and nail polish and BAM, Momma made it terrible. I know it's probably not going to help deter the people looking for perverted things on my blog, but I had to share this, even though I'll probably regret it later. Why? Because I just made my fucking point.

10 comments:

  1. Wow just wow lol, that made me laugh, its just never a dull time with your mom huh xD

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    1. lol Not really. You never know what she's gonna say next.

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  2. Sounds like your mom would be fun to hang out with.

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    1. lol A lot of people have said that. She's crazy.

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  3. LMAO Rachel. Reading this is just as funny as the actual conversation!

    Thanks Wolf and Brett!

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    1. You didn't stop laughing for like 15 minutes when we actually had the conversation.

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  4. Oh, too funny. Well, at least you will never have to complain that your mom is boring!

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  5. Mom has a point. Why ARE there so many whips and chains in the porn store? Are that many people into it, and we just don't know about it, or is the section big so that those who are into it won't feel uncomfortable, like if there was only 1 whip in the store and they were the one to buy it?

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    1. That... seems like a very good question. I've never been in a store like that though, so I don't have any idea what the answer is. haha

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