I just went through a straight week of pretty depressing posts about bullying (links to all the posts can be found here) so I thought I would share a couple funny things that happened at work, mostly today but also a few weeks ago.
After one of the big homecoming dances for a school, we had a table of ten teenage girls wearing the tiniest dresses ever made come in. We decided to sit them with one of the male servers who is still in highschool (a different highschool), since it was the only table open and it was his turn anyways. Everyone started making jokes about how he was going to enjoy serving their table.
He started getting their drink orders when a different girl walked in. She asked to sit in that same guy's section and he just had a table open up. The other hostess looked at her and told her that she had to swear to behave, so the girl promised and then I took her to the seat but I didn't know what was happening.
About five minutes later, we heard a huge bang that came from the kitchen and then one of the servers came out laughing and told us that somebody dropped a pan of bechamel sauce and it got all over the other server's ass. I thought it was funny but everyone else was laughing a lot harder than I was so they finally thought to tell me, "Not only is he serving a bunch of slutty girls while his girlfriend is here but now they're all staring at his ass."
Today, I was a hostess again. The day after Thanksgiving, the entire restaurant was decorated with Christmas things too. We have a tree inside and outside. There are huge fake presents under the tree and all around the hostess station. Christmas music has been playing and one song sounds like a dying cat, playing with a donkey in labor, while a chainsaw is spazzing out. I'm not even kidding.
A lot of people keep making jokes about what present do they get to take home. It was funny the first time and I was just like, "I dunno. I guess you better start checking the name tags." After that another server picked up the biggest empty box and handed it to them and said, "Well you get the biggest present!"
I held the door for a couple that was leaving and the man was like, "Merry Christmas!" So I was confused since that's a month away and I was like, "Christmas? It's not even December yet!" He laughed and told me, "Well it's just around the corner. Merry Christmas!" Considering Thanksgiving was a lot closer and I'm a little bit of a smartass, especially with the guests, I told him, "Well then Happy Late Thanksgiving!" He walked away giving me a look like I'm the weird one.
Also today, two old ladies left while I was at the hostess station. I didn't get to the door in time to hold it open so instead, I just told them, "Thank you for coming!" so they looked at me and said, "You too!" While I was trying not to cry from subtly laughing uncontrollably, their server ran passed me and out the door. A couple minutes later, he came back and told me, "They forgot their credit card. I watched them open the book, sign it, and then close it." We then decided that the little old ladies should not be allowed to drive.