Monday, February 18, 2013

Mindy McCready

     To be honest, I had absolutely no idea who she was until last night. A bunch of people on Facebook (by people, I mean country singers I 'liked' one day when I got super bored) started posting about how she died and well wishes for her family and that sort of stuff. I asked Momma if she knew who she was, and she got really upset, because Mindy was so talented.

     Mom wanted to know how she died, so I started going through the comments to see what I could find out. She killed herself. I told Mom and the more I read, the worse the comments seemed to be on Facebook. It wasn't just comments about "Rest in peace" or things that should be said. It was comments about "Oh, she was a druggie, she deserves it" and "I hope her kids actually get a stable caretaker now".

     I'm sorry, but what?

     This woman just killed herself. First of all, bullying and attacking somebody for any reason is just wrong. Secondly, can you have some sort of respect for the dead woman? The woman who suffered so much throughout her life that there are three previous suicide attempts that I found just by going to Google.

     Mindy's boyfriend beat and choked her so bad in 2005 that he was arrested for attempted murder. They broke up, she tried to kill herself, she got back together with him, he got her pregnant, and she tried to kill herself by overdosing on her antidepressants, but by some miracle she was able to give birth to her oldest son. All within one year. Can you imagine the stress that the press would have caused her?

     Let me explain something for somebody who might call her stupid for going back... When you're in an abusive relationship, especially when you're depressed, you truly believe that you deserve it and you don't think you're strong enough to escape. It's about fear and how you're so controlled, you don't think you can or deserve to escape. That's why most abuse victims (not just women, mind you) stay in abusive situations and that's probably why she went back. That is not her fault. That is his fault.

     In 2008, she tried to kill herself again. In 2010, she was hospitalized for a possible drug overdose from medicine that her mother may have given her. Later in 2010, a video she made with an ex-boyfriend was sold by some video company. I'm unsure if she sold it herself or if somebody found it and sold it. It seems to be the latter of the two. In 2012, she had her second son. Last month, her baby's father was found dead from a self-inflicted gunshot wound. The same man that she called her "soulmate". Just over a month later, she was found dead. Since 2004, she was in and out of jail for different things, which mostly seem drug or alcohol related.

     Does that sound like she ever got the help that she needed? Does that sound like she deserved it? It doesn't matter if she did drugs. If you're addicted to anything, and you can be addicted to anything, you cannot just stop when you want. You can go to rehab a million times but if you don't get the help you need, or if somebody is pushing you to give in to the addiction, or if you get hurt so badly you feel like you'll never be okay again, you can still go right back to it.

     Do I approve of drugs? No. I don't. But you know what? Its none of our business what somebody does, unless they are your friend or family. In which case, all you can do is try to get them help and support them through overcoming the addiction. One of the worst things you can do is saying "oh they deserved whatever they got because they did something bad."

     You've done bad things in your life too. Everybody has. Chances are, you don't have magazines and TV reports and millions of people saying you're a horrible person because you did something wrong. That's probably one thing that celebrities don't realize they're getting themselves into, but that's not their fault. If you insult them, especially if you seek them out to tell them, its your fault. And you know what? If you've done that, you deserve to be in their place for a day to see what its like to have so many people attacking you.

     You don't know what its like to be in somebody else's shoes. They may look like the happiest person in the world, but they could be dying on the inside. One little comment could push them over the edge. One negative comment could be the death of them. That's no different than pulling the trigger yourself. Even if they aren't dying on the inside, one little comment could put them in that place or be enough to kill them right then.

     And this whole thing about attacking somebody who's already dead? "Oh, it won't hurt anyone, they're not alive to see it lol". Wrong. Their family is alive. Their friends are alive. Don't you think they're already hurting enough with the grief of losing somebody they love? Why add to that? Why make it worse for them? So they can end up six feet under right next to the loved one?

     Mindy made mistakes. I won't deny that. But she does not deserve for it to be held against her and for everyone to attack her. She and her family deserve our respect and our well wishes. They deserve to know that somebody actually cares.


  1. I remember people saying terrible things when Whitney Houston died, too. I thInk people forget that celebrities are actual human beings sometimes. It really bothers me, too when people are so callous about a human being's life ending. Her death was so tragic.

    1. They don't see celebrities as people. They see them as somebody on a screen or somebody in a picture. Not a real person with feelings or a family or their own problems. It makes me so sad and so angry for them, especially when it ends in something like this.

  2. It seems that many people fall to one side or the other when it comes to celebrities, they either vilify the person for the idiotic things they did or they lift them up as though they were some kind of god. Whitney Houston, for example. She was NOT a wonderful, fantastic person, but she was NOT an evil witch either. She was a beautiful woman with an incredible voice, but that's it. Beyond that, she was a broken person with a lot of baggage and bad decisions behind her.

    The people being nasty toward her should be ashamed and the people worshiping her need to find a better role model.

    As you said in your last comment, celebrities are people. Good and bad applies to them in the same way as it does to us. They were average people who just happened to become famous. Them being in the spotlight brings on extra scrutiny and that will never change, but it doesn't make it okay.

    1. This is perfect. This is what everyone needs to see and understand. There is a line between people. If you put them up on a pedestal, they're not going to be able to live up to every perfect expectation because they are just humans who happened to be lucky enough to get famous. If you abuse them and bring them down, they're going to snap and hurt themselves or somebody else. Just like any other person.

  3. I'd never really heard of her either, but I think it's further proof that no matter how famous you are or how much money you have, celebrities still have regular problems like you or I, including depression.

    Also, no matter how crappy a person is, I always try to respect the dead. I thought that was just common courtesy.

    1. Exactly. A person is a person, no matter who they are, where they come from, what they've been through, or what they look like. Just because somebody is famous or rich or poor or whatever, they should still be respected and treated like a person.

      Respecting the dead is one thing that is really important to me. Even in cemeteries, I refuse to step on graves or where I think somebody might be buried. I saw somebody sit on a headstone before and almost punched them because it was just disrespectful.