Monday, September 30, 2013

First Unity Day Reminder

     Last year, I wrote a post every day for a week in November. Those posts were about the statistics of bullying, an exorcise to show what bullying is like, a list of famous people who were bullied and the outcomes, and my story in part one and part two. I invited all of my readers to join me in writing their own stories and at the end of the week, I posted a new post with full credits and links to those stories. I also created an Anti-Bullying page so those stories will not get completely buried.

     This year, instead of doing something in November, I'm going to do something on Unity Day. October is Anti-Bullying Month and October 10th is Unity Day. I want all of you to write a post some time during that month, about bullying. Those who do it on Unity Day will be listed first in my contributors post on November first of this year, but if you write a post any time during that month, I will include you.

     I had a couple people who wrote the posts, but did not email me the link. If you don't email me the link, I probably won't know about it. You can email it to me at pertinax_puella@hotmail.com. If you want to invite your readers to do the same, please make sure you tell them to email me their page so that I can add them to the list of contributors as a thank you. Like I said last year, I would give you all a puppy, but I can't, so this is the best I can do.

     If you have any questions, please just ask me. If you want to see last years posts, the links are all in the first paragraph. If you're scared to talk about something that happened, I understand. I honestly do. I was fighting tears the entire time I wrote my story and that was two long posts. But believe me, it helps to know that it is all out in the open and that your story can change someone's life.

     Just to be clear, the post can be anything from a written blog to a video on youtube. It can be a simply paragraph just saying that bullying is a bad thing that should not be done. I just want something to be said to bring awareness to it. You guys all have a hell of a lot more readers than I do and you will reach more people than I will, if you just tell them what Unity Day is all about and why it is important.

     Speak the fuck up people.





**Due to news stories talking about people going overboard, trying to stop bulling, I feel the need to put a disclaimer here. I do NOT encourage, endorse, or support anyone doing anything illegal, harmful, criminal, violent, or dangerous activity. This is about stopping people from being hurt. This is NOT about hurting anyone in any way, shape, or form. Any links involving anyone going over the top and handling things inappropriately will not be posted on my blog, Twitter, or anywhere else by myself. If I find a link that involves anything inappropriate, I will delete it, and if possible, I will report it. Also, I am not an expert on this matter. I have included the links to the sources I got my information from and give full credit to whoever did the actual research, that I am using here.**

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Rebecca Sedwick

     I'm not sure if you've heard of her yet, but she was a child who was bullied to death by a group of girls who used to be her best friends. Why did they bully her? "Boyfriend trouble in 2009". That's when they were nine to ten years old, back when they should still think that boys have cooties. Not bullying someone. Not causing them to cut themselves or jump off a cement silo to kill themselves.

     I watched it on the news, because that was what the TV was on when I woke up. I caught the last part, which said something about her asking questions such as "How many Advil do you have to take to die?" and "How do you get the blades out of a razor?" When I saw that, I was terrified that another victim of bullying had made the news for killing herself, so I kept the TV on.. and I was right.

     The worst thing about bullying, is that its torture. They might as well have just pushed her to her death to begin with and saved her all of the pain, the depression, the brokenness that comes with being bullied. It would be the same result, but she wouldn't have suffered with messages telling her that she was ugly, stupid, a waste of space, telling her that she should just go kill herself because nobody cared about her. I'm not saying that murder is a good thing, but it is the exact same thing as bullying and I hope with every fiber of my being that those bullies are caught and have to face murder charges.

     "That's harsh! They're just kids!"

     Well you know what, so was she. And now Rebecca is dead.

     She will never go to highschool, go to prom, fall in love, get married, have kids, have grandkids, make stupid mistakes in college that she'll laugh about when she's 30. She'll never even be 30 or an adult for that matter. No sweet 16, no graduation. She won't see her sister grow up or tell her mother that she was sorry for all the arguments when she was a teenager, that she didn't actually know everything like every teenager thinks they do.

     And why won't she get to do any of those things?

     Because those girls attacked her mercilessly. They attacked her even though she was pulled out of her elementary school, homeschooled, and sent to a new school. They never stopped attacking her, bullying her, slowly killing her. This is their fault and they need to suffer the consequences for it.

     And do you know what makes this even worse?

     Millions of people are being bullied right now, right this very second. How many more will follow Rebecca's example? It's not just Rebecca Sedwick, Amanda Todd, or Demi Lovato who are being bullied. They're just some of the people you know about.

     Now go give your children hugs and pray that they will never go through what Rebecca did.





     I saw it on the TV channel HLN but you can read her story here or here.


**I just want to put a disclaimer here, that I do not promote, endorse, or approve of anything that could potentially harm or kill someone. The phrase "They might as well have just pushed her to her death to begin with and saved her all the pain, the depression, the brokenness that comes with being bullied." is meant to illustrate how bad bullying really is. It does not at all mean that I approve of harming or killing anyone else, or yourself. **

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Things I Learned Working In A Restaurant II

     Remember last November when I wrote the first post? No? Yeah, I figured. It's pretty self explanatory though. That was a list of twenty-five things I learned as a runner/hostess as a brand new employee. So now I'm going to add some more things to that list, that I learned working both of those jobs and as a server. You can read the first half here, which I recommend because I was pretty proud of it. 


26) When asked how you're enjoying your food, if your answer is, "We're fine. Thanks." the server will know that it is time to leave you alone. That is pretty much the dismissal phrase, which I learned because of the tone of voice it is typically said in.

27) The server will tell you their name for a reason. Fucking learn their name because reaching out to grab them to get their attention is not okay, nor is yelling, "Waitress!" across half the restaurant.

28) Servers are judgmental bitches.

29) If you say you're not a judgmental bitch and you are a server, you're lying.

30) An alarming amount of young children know what diet drinks are and eat like they've been obese for years.

31) Just because you say, "Can you get my server? Its the tall guy." does not mean that the person you are asking will have any idea who you are talking about.

32) It is not helpful when you say "My table was over there" and point to an entirely different room.

33) It's worse when you make the server laugh and joke with them for an hour, then leave them a shitty tip, than when you're a complete bitch to them and leave them a shitty tip, because you got their hopes up.

34) If you tip less than 20%, you will annoy the server.

35) If you tip less than 15%, you will make the server mildly angry.

36) If you tip less than 10%, you will be remembered and not in a good way.

37) If you tip more than 20%, you will make your server extremely happy.

38) People actually do random acts of kindness and pay for a stranger's meal.

39) It was so sweet that I almost started crying when it happened to my table, because they almost started crying.

40) If you have more than four people going out to eat, call to make sure there is a table.

41) If you have more than six people going out to eat and you don't call, everyone will be pissed off that they have to drop everything to set up your table when their other customers are waiting and your table could have been set up prior.

42) Even if you entertain a customer for two hours and laugh the entire time, sell them wine, appetizers, some of the expensive dinner dishes, keep their drinks full, and push the guy in a wheelchair to a bathroom... they might still leave you a 36 cent tip.

43) If you tell a fellow server about that, she will probably say, "You should have chased him down! I would have. There would have been some words, if you know what I mean."

44) You will know what she means and you will agree.

45) Multicolored pens help you stay organized.

46) You will be made fun of for being so organized.

47) A coworker and I have a theory that the multicolored pens will get you better tips.

48) If you stack your dishes for the server to take before you leave, you will make things a million times easier on them.

49) Sometimes the server will slip up with their routine because its been a long day, they are tired, or they are extremely busy. Don't take it out on them. Just laugh it off and make things easier on them.
Example that I did the other day, because I was distracted working on a party:
"Hi guys. My name is Rachel and I'll be taking care of you. How are ya'll doing?"
"We're good. How are you?"
"I'm doing good. Can I get ya'll something to drink?....-notices the silence-....-looks at table-......Or you already have drinks. Okay. Oops."

50) Paying in credit cards is a lot easier, but cash tips are way better.