Monday, August 18, 2014

Tough Topics: Rape Culture

     I'm not entirely sure where to begin with this one. Maybe I should explain what rape culture is, first of all. It's something that I actually only heard of within the past year. I never knew what it was until then, so maybe it's phrase that not enough people know.

     Rape culture is the society blaming a rape victim for their assault. It's when people say, "She was wearing a skirt so she deserved it" or "She was at a party so she deserved it" or "She was flirting so she was asking for it" or, basically, "She has a vagina so it's all her fault". It's when people say, "Well he's gay so he wanted it". It's when the victim is accused of wanting to be attacked. It's what lawyers use when they can't just say that they never even saw each other before.

     Rape culture is society teaching women that they need to try not to be raped instead of teaching men not to rape. Now, don't get me wrong, I am fully for being smart and safe. Safety in numbers, always have your keys and phone in your hand, try not to go alone at night, all of the party rules like not accepting drinks from strangers or ever leaving your drink unattended. Safety is extremely important and I would never, ever suggest that it's not. But the problem is that women are being taught all of these safety rules to live by, but men aren't being taught "Yo, raping is a bad thing, don't do it". Or if they are, society isn't doing a very good job of it.

     Rape culture is women, men, and children being too scared to seek help because of the fear that they'll be blamed. So many people are assaulted but don't go to the authorities, or anyone else for that matter, because it's been drilled into their heads that they could have done something more to prevent it, so it just must be their fault. And it's not. It is absolutely not their fault but too many people are too ashamed of what their attacker did, instead of their attacker being ashamed of it.

     Rape culture is when somebody goes to a party and ends up drunk, high, or drugged and wakes up wondering why their underwear is on the floor. Later, they see the videos or pictures of them being attacked while barely conscious and completely unable to consent to what is happening. But instead of the rapist (or, many times, rapists) being blamed and arrested, they're being congratulated for "getting laid" while the victim is accused of being a slut or a fag.

     Rape culture is when somebody goes on a mass murder killing spree because "girls just aren't interested in him" and people actually support his actions because of it.

     All rapists and attempted rapists need to go to prison and stay there until it's time to put them in a coffin. All victims should feel the support behind them to stand up and say, "That bastard attacked me and I want justice". And they should have that justice.

     Bottom line- Rape culture is absolutely fucked up and needs to change.





Disclaimer: I am not a professional or an expert of any kind. What I post here is from the research that I've done mixed with my own personal experiences. If you feel that you need help of any kind, I urge you to seek it with local professionals who know what they're doing.

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8 comments:

  1. Well-said. It's horrible when a rape-victim is made to feel like it's his/her fault. It's most definitely not!

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    1. Not to mention the harassment the victims get and how the rapist walks free far too often.

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  2. I watched an excellent documentary a few days ago. The Invisible War is about the rape culture in the U.S. military. I knew about the problem, but I had no idea it was so pervasive, especially at The Air Force Academy. If my father were alive, he would be aghast. When The Hurricane was in college she went to a party with some of her friends. One of the girls was given a drink (they didn't know who gave it to her) and then began to behave strangely and start to pass out. She had been served a "rape drug." Thank God the other girls saw what was going on and got her out of there. The Hurricane went to a very nice, small private college. Any type of sexual attack was rare, and perhaps the reasons included 1) zero tolerance, and 2) student awareness, especially the desire most students seemed to have to take care of each other.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. Colleges and the military have horrible crimes that barely anyone knows about. A lot of people in college are attacked at parties or on campus but don't speak out because "they were at a party or out at night so it MUST be their fault". In the military, it's seen as "well she had a vagina and is surrounded by guys so she MUST be asking for it" or hazing. All of which is absolute bullshit.

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  3. Your assessment sounds right to me. The culture that rewards athleticism over personal freedom, favors the dismissal "boys will be boys", and celebrates penises by making every building look like a phallus. My only advice is watch out for gross creeps who refer to women as "females" and the word "whore" is a regular part of that person's lexicon.

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    1. I have a post about slut shaming that I'll be writing. I'm not sure when, but the "whore" thing will be in it. Could you explain why the term "female" is bad also?

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  4. Rape-culture hurts everyone, it's tragic. I have recently learned that so many women have stories of rape, that rape is even more normalized than I had fathomed. Keep writing and fighting the good fight, Rachel.

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    1. I've known at least a dozen people who have told me of sexual abuse that they went through. To my knowledge, only one pressed charges, but he got a deal so he's not even a registered sex offender and may get out this year. If that's not tragic rape culture, I don't know what is.

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