Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Happy Halloween

     I am fully aware that this post is late, but I had to work and it took me forever to get into costume and then my phone wouldn't let me edit it. So I had to get on the computer, which meant I had to find time when I wasn't on my break at work. The most simple costume I've ever done turned out to be the most complicated and the first time I got to hand out candy, put me in a good mood for three days.

I got this picture from Google. I needed something that would work with the post.

     I found out three days before Halloween, that we were allowed and encouraged to dress up because our mall does trick or treating. The store even provided three bags of various candies for us to hand out.

     Unfortunately, that meant I had three days to find a costume. I checked a couple of stores but the only decent ones were $50+. I wasn't allowed to be scary, gory, or revealing. No masks, fake weapons, or extensive face paint were allowed either. Mall security had to make sure everyone was safe, so no complaints from me.

     I was going to be a princess because I have a tiara but I couldn't find any dress that would work (even in the regular stores). So I went with Plan B and decided to buy some cat ears and a tail.

I had to be Miley Cyrus in order to get my hair right. I couldn't be her though, because that would break the "no revealing clothes" rule. I did, however, have Wrecking Ball stuck in my head for two days... And now, again.

"Mom, are my pigtails and ears even? Does it look okay?"
I probably should have asked if I looked like I was punched in the eyes, because yes, yes I did.

"Is my eye-shadow even? I'm wearing three colors. I can't tell."

"What about my eye-liner? It blends in with the eye-shadow. Do I look too emo or goth or whatever?"

"I look evil. I think the mascara did it. Mom, don't I look evil?"

My boyfriend's friend and the friend's girlfriend came over, so she did the whiskers and nose, but I had to fix it with q-tips. We realized thirty seconds after the fact, that we could have just used tape to make the lines straight.

"Okay, everything is even, but does the lipstick go with the makeup? I don't look like a 1980's prostitute, right?"

The only picture in which I have a visible tail. I got to work and had to use a paperclip to make it stay still, which then resulted in, "Hey, is my tail even?"

     We spent the entire day giving out candy. I was letting the kids pick their favorite until a family of four each took a massive handful and almost emptied my bowl. The kiosk across from us gave us some more candy. I had one kid a lollipop and he just said "...oh" and walked away.

     The girls in the store across from ours and my girls and I were all yelling, "Hey kids, want some candy?!" I think we traumatized a couple people. The kiosk guys thought it was hilarious. They said that they could never do that without being creepy.

     Everyone who looked at me said, "Kitty!" Our delivery guy barely speaks English but said, "Heheh, kitty!" and pointed at me. Apparently, I wasn't actually a cat; I was a kitty.

     Also, under NO circumstances is it okay to tell somebody, "Nice tail" and under NO circumstances is it okay to make hand motions of a tail while winking. That's just fucking creepy. Don't do it.

     I never got to hand out candy before but I loved it. It was awesome seeing how happy the kids were and it was amazing to have parents thank me for "sacrificing my Halloween so that the kids had a safe place to trick or treat, especially when most malls weren't even doing it this year". We even had a few people from around the mall do reverse trick or treating for mall employees. We now have coupons for Bath And Body Works which is fantastic, since I get my perfume there and I'm cheap and poor.

     Brother even showed up to show me his costume and we got ice cream before I went home. He walked right by me and just strutted into the store like he owned the place, with me calling after him and him being totally oblivious.

     Now, if you have kids, remember to check their candy to be sure it's safe. Don't wait for a needle to be in some candy before you realize that not everyone is actually nice.

     Did everyone else have as good as a Halloween as I did?


  1. So we finally get to put a face to the blogger! Very cool. And you're a catperson*, at that. I never would have imagined.

    My Halloween was much more mundane. I shut off the lights and pretended I wasn't home and played video games in the dark. What? I don't like handing out candy.

    * "I think it's really disappointing when someone is described as a 'cat person'. It's like, wait, you just LIKE cats? I was expecting someone with fur, and whiskers, and an unnatural fear of water... you know, a catperson." - Demetri Martin

    1. I'll explain why next Monday.

      It's very shocking that I am a catperson. It's a secret that not many people got to know, but I figured it was time to tell the truth to my readers. I can only hope you all think it's cool, and we don't have any secret dogpeople hiding out.

  2. I think Kitty is a good name for you. Everything was even and perfect, and you certainly don't look like a hooker from the '80s or any other era. I'm like the Beer boys. I turned off my lights and hid in the back of the house. The first year I lived here I gave out candy. Huge wads of kids came to my house. I had the candy in a big bowl. I tried to give one piece to each kid, but most of them grabbed the candy and took as much as they could carry. It was off putting.


    1. We never lived in a good enough neighborhood to have trick or treaters, not since I stopped trick or treating anyways. My mom was always very observant of how many candies I took. I was one of those kids who was too timid to take a bunch of candy unless I was told to. My favorite houses were the ones where they would give you a full handful of candy to make up for all the crap candy and raisins other houses gave.

      Thank you for the compliments though. I really liked my cat ears. My middle name is Kathleen so a lot of people call me Kat, so I think it's funny that you think Kitty would be a good name for me.

  3. So adorable. And also, I've just noticed, you have really awesome lips!!

    1. haha Thank you! The day before Halloween, my employees were making fun of me because I was putting chapstick on OBSESSIVELY so that the lipstick would look nice.

  4. I think you look adorable...great job with the makeup.

    1. Thank you! I did have A LOT of help with the whiskers and nose though. There's no way I could have gotten it right on my own.

  5. Awesome costume and makeup! My daughter was a kitty, too!

    1. Thank you! Did she struggle as much with being even as I did?

  6. Very cute...you did a great job with the make up! :) lol at the handing out candy part. We trick or treated awith the baby girl a little bit...but everyone just looked at us like "I know who is going to eat that candy". Hahaha

    1. Not gonna lie, I gave a few people that look. The craziest part was I had a couple people ask if I would pose for a picture, handing out the candy. It was weird!

    2. lol!!! That would be a noooo hahahaha