As you may have noticed, my last post had several pictures of me getting ready for Halloween. When I first started this blog, I said that nobody would get to see a picture of me on it. I've worked for a few years to change pictures and make sure that nothing that I posted would allow my face to be seen. (Or anyone else's, especially.)
The main reason that I did that is because I didn't want my dad's side of the family finding this blog. I didn't want them to see me and want to cause any trouble. I didn't want my mom to suffer because of my actions. I think you get the idea.
But I'm 21 now. I live with my boyfriend. I'm a supervisor. I pay rent and go grocery shopping and do the laundry. I don't ask for money or to be taken care of. I'm the one who pays for my food and my part of the bills and if I want to get my hair done or buy new boots, that comes out of my money, not anyone else's.
The point being, I'm an adult who is fully responsible for herself. If anyone so much as think of blaming my mother, I have absolutely no problem pointing that out and then asking, "And where were you? Clearly, you know that she's the only one who raised me if you're going to blame her for how I turned out."
I don't smoke, steal, do drugs, party, or break any laws. I may be sassy as fuck and say fuck every two words, but at least I have personality and I have no problem sticking up for myself. I would like to say that I turned out pretty damn well. Putting my picture on a blog isn't bad or illegal or as stupid as it would be to smoke cigarettes (which just about everyone in my family does).
After years of sharing more stories on this blog than most of my family even knows, I got sick of hiding a stupid little thing- what my face looks like. It really shouldn't be as huge of a deal as it always seemed to be. I could pass by serial killers and crazy people every single day, who know what I look like, when people who know some of my weirdest stories had no clue. That doesn't logically make sense to me.
I have never hidden who I am on this blog (personality, wise) so it doesn't make much sense for me to hide my face anymore. I'm done hiding. I don't have a reason to and I'm tired of it. To be honest, I'm more worried about being judged by a stranger about how crappy my older posts were than to be judged by my family for having this blog in general. (Seriously, don't read the older posts.)
To top it all off, I already have the states I've lived in, the colors my hair has been, stories about my life, pictures of the pets, my name... If my family did find this blog, they wouldn't exactly need a picture to say that it's me. They would just be able to read a post and figure it out. It's not exactly a huge secret, not that I'm advertising it to them anyways.
When I was starting this post, I honestly didn't mean for it to come out as a rant. I was perfectly fine and then the words just sort of spilled out on their own. I think that just goes to show my frustration.
I won't lie- sharing the pictures was nerve-wracking. But I think it's worth it. There's no more stress about accidentally posting a picture where my face is reflecting off of something or anything stupid like that.
Why did I post like ten pictures if it was so nerve-wracking?
Go big or go home. If I was gonna do it, I might as well make it worth it.
I (hope I) will be back next week with another Tough Topics post. Anybody have any specific topics that they want me to cover?