Thursday, April 16, 2015

N is for Nope

     Let me tell you a tale- a tale of trauma, humor, and disgust.

     It all started while I was on my break at work today. A coworker picked up my food for me, so all I had to do was go outside to a table and sit down. That was exactly what I did.

     As I shoved a French fry into my mouth, the chair across from me scooted back and a kid sat down.

     "Hi! I hope you don't mind. My friends were boring me so I thought I would come say hi. My name is Noah." Said the kid.

     His friends were staring over at us. They were also kids, as one might expect.

     "Hi, Noah. I'm Rachel." I replied, sort of dumbstruck and wondering if this was some sort of dare.

     "How's the food?" He asked.

     I stared at my food, suddenly becoming extremely protective of it because I was not going to share it. "It's fine." I shoved another French fry into my mouth.

     "So, what brings you here?" He asked.

     Oh my gosh, what is happening? I asked myself. "I'm on my break from work."

     "Oh, where do you work?" He asked.

     I might have lied if I wasn't wearing a name tag, so I pointed to the store, directly behind him. 

     "Cool! I'm gonna apply for a job at McDonald's since you only have to be fourteen to work there." Noah said.

     Is that true? When did that become a thing. Minimum working age is sixteen, right? I wondered, but then I realized what he said.

     "Fourteen? Is that how old you are?" I asked. It looked about right.

     He nodded his head. "Yeah, how old did you think?"

     "That was my guess. How old do you think I am?" I asked him.

     He shrugged his shoulders. "I dunno. A teenager, right? No way you're older than eighteen or nineteen."

     "I'm twenty-one." I watched his eyes get big. "And I live with my boyfriend." I added.

     His eyes about popped out of his head and he jumped up from the chair. "It was nice meeting you. I should go. Bye!" He literally ran after his friends.

     When he walked by later, he was staring at his feet and wouldn't look at my store.

     All I could think was, There is no fucking way that actually just happened. There is so much nope that it couldn't be a thing.


  1. I think you should be quite flattered that he was trying to score!

    1. I'll be flattered when I'm not shocked that I was confused for a teenager or grossed out that he was a kid.