A while ago, I was scrolling through Facebook and I saw that my aunt had liked something. When I saw the picture, I wasn't sure I was seeing what I thought I was seeing. I had to click to enlarge it.
I texted it to my mom. I told her, "I suddenly want a pet snake purely so I can dress it up in sweaters but I don't because I don't want to feed it Thumper or Gus." (That's a Bambi and a Cinderella reference, in case you never had a childhood.)
"Isn't a snake sweater just a sock with the end cut off?" My mom asked.
I thought about that. "It could be but I wouldn't make Nagini wear socks because then it would smell like feet. I would buy it sweaters."
"What the fuck is a Nagini?" My mom asked.
I deadpanned. "VOLDEMORT'S SNAKE/HORCRUX!"
"Oh." She probably had no idea what I was talking about.
"I want to be able to say I put Nagini in a sweater. But I don't want to feed it Thumper or Gus. I do have a lot of people I don't like."
It was at that point that I checked to see if I still had a nose. I do.