Tuesday, October 20, 2015

This Low MothaFucka

Updated to add: I am teaming up with a trans-girl for a post in which I interview her. If you have any questions you would like me to ask her please either comment, tweet me @whenalionsleeps, or email me at pertinax_puella@hotmail.com and be sure to leave a link so I can credit you for the question(s)!

     First of all, let me start off with an update on Cashew the hamster (or if you follow me on twitter, #CashewTheHamster because I tweet so much I had to give him his own hashtag).

     He's still alive. Unfortunately, he lost an eye. Before my boyfriend could stop him about two weeks ago, Cashew took a running leap off of him, bounced off the coffee table, and landed on the floor. I honestly believe my boyfriend was more traumatized than the hamster was. Cashew is adjusting fine to his one good eye, but you do have to be careful to move on the side with the eye or he'll freak out if he doesn't see you coming. He also likes chewing on the metal wires of his cage so I got him extra toys and treats to make him stop. If all else fails, I may have to buy an aquarium for him instead. He seems perfectly happy though.

     Secondly, let me warn you that this post isn't going to be all sunshine and rainbows because I got seriously pissed off a few days ago.

     There's this twitter account called @depressionarmy that tries to show that people are not alone in their mental illnesses and tries to offer support in numbers. Every so often, they'll ask you to tweet a picture (if you're so willing) with something encouraging to say. Sometimes it's your story, sometimes its what you've been through, sometimes it's just to say that you're not going to let other people suffer alone.

     Twice, I've tweeted with a picture and a tweet based around the topic. Because I know what an absolute bitch depression is to deal with, especially when you think you're alone. The first time, nothing crazy happened, but I did get an overwhelming amount of retweets and around ten new followers. The second time...

     Well, the first time, several people tweeted me and offered support and friendship. I've tweeted back and forth with a few of those people because they seem genuinely nice. One of those people has given me advice on how to stop Cashew from chewing the cage and another one owes me pictures of her ridiculous amount of cats (because holy crap, cats).

     The second time, I was a little more prepared with what to expect. Only this time, I got a couple of DM's. One was very nice, offering support. The other simply thanked me for following him back and wished me luck in the future and nice words. I responded to both, thanking them, because I can be nice sometimes. Only the first one responded, but that was fine and I didn't mind chatting back a little bit because the whole point of it is to be like, "Yo, its okay to talk to people and be nice and support other people because sometimes it's really needed" and I didn't want to be a complete dick to somebody who could quite possibly have crippling anxiety or depression.

     I'm not going to go into great detail of this conversation, but it was all very friendly and innocent. Apparently he lives in the same state so I asked about that general area, since I don't really go anywhere. We talked about TV. Just things like that. At one point, he said he was bored and that he wished he had a cute girl to talk to, but what a shame that I was taken.

     Excuse me?

     I knew where this was going to go, but I tried to brush it off because I didn't want to just assume he was being an asswipe either. So I brushed it off and changed the subject. I barely even acknowledged what he said (which is also what I do when people compliment me in real life- a quick thank you and then a sudden change in topic because how the hell do you handle that?).

     I did warn him that I am very temperamental though because I just knew where this was going and I wanted him to have a chance to back out. I was trying to make him knock his crap off so I wouldn't have to verbally tear him apart.

     Then he said, "That must mean you're good in bed."

     Excuse me?

     I straight out said, "Okay, that was too far" and I started ignoring him. I was busy so I didn't have time to go block him with my laggy phone. The next thing I knew, I was getting DM's about how I must be a grandma and basically saying that I'm lame. I made time to block him after that, as I was walking into work.

     Here's the thing- creepy people exist, assholes exist, perverts exist.

     While his hitting on me made me uncomfortable, mostly because I'm in a relationship but also because of the way it was handled, that's not actually what made me mad. (Well, maybe, because I was very open about saying "I have a boyfriend whom I live with".)

     What really pisses me off is that his walking penis thought it would be morally okay to use somebody's mental illness against them. He thought he could just "support" whatever I may have been through because I might just put out for him. He thought he could be friendly and try to take advantage of a complete stranger.

     What really pisses me off is that he could seriously damage some people. Some girl may fall for it, think she's in love, and then be completely alone while he's out trying to add another notch to his headboard. That girl could have crippling anxiety, body image issues, trust issues, depression... You have no idea. And he has no idea that if he takes advantage of somebody on that level, they very well could kill themselves.

     Mentally, I'm fine. I don't really care, honestly. I don't care that he's a creep. I don't care that he's a pervert. The only thing I care about is the fact that somebody could sink so low as to try to take advantage over somebody's illness,

     Like bro, fuck you. With a cactus. In the asshole.


  1. I haven't been on twitter for a couple of years but is there a way to warn the group about what he's like? Or is that kind of thing frowned upon? Either way, enjoy the cactus, dick.

    1. I'm not sure. I think I could tweet or DM them directly but I'm not sure that they could actually do anything about it. The problem being, it's not their website to ban him from. They could probably block him but that wouldn't do much good if he tracks trending topics such as "#NotAlone" which is the hashtag used when this happened.

  2. Sorry to hear about Cashew, but I'm glad he's adjusting.

    There are a lot of perverts out there. I get massively annoyed my them, too!

    1. He seems very happy. We let him run around the living room and bed room because he can't really get into trouble so he loves being let out every night for his exploration.

      Perverts are bad enough because they act like they have a right to your body, but perverts who try to take advantage somebody by messing with their emotions are even worse because they act like they have a right to your body and will just take what they want.

  3. Wait, you have a boyfriend? When did this happen?

    Yeah just kidding. At this point I think your blog followers might know more about your boyfriend than some of his own family members.

    It's just sad to me that very rarely are there any honest random interactions anymore, especially toward a female on the Internet. It always has to escalate to "So, we talked for like ten seconds. Wanna fuck now?" Even being married/in a relationship doesn't matter. For either side. Gross.

    Oh, and sorry to hear about Cashew. That sounds really devastating. On a lighter note, have you considered knitting him a very tiny eye patch?

    1. It's disgusting that every interaction is "okay, I said hi, so take off your pants". It's even more disgusting that when you respond with, "I'm sorry, I am not interested in taking off my pants" that people rain hatred down on you. Like there is never any circumstance in which you are in the right for being upset when somebody says they don't want to be sexual with you. Ain't your body, ain't your choice. Don't like it? Get a blow up doll.

      I have! I also need a tiny pirate hat, a tiny striped shirt, and a tiny wooden leg. Also maybe a very tiny pirate to stick to his shoulder.

  4. Heyas Rachel, it's Julius from twitter. Awesome post, especially "this walking penis" had me rofl! I will say that some guys honestly don't know how to talk to girls, and personally I try to compliment people with low self-esteem (because I know what it's like).

    The rub here is that the guy turned into a hater once you brushed him off. That's the part I worry about.