Monday, November 9, 2015

Tough Topics: Megan's Guest Post

     Welcome back, everyone! Last week, I (along with many readers/friends) interviewed my lovely new friend, Megan. Megan is a pre-transition transgender person (born in a male body but with the identity of a female). Last week, she greatly educated my readers, some readers from the wonderful Janie Junebug, and even had some of her own readers stop by to say hello.

     Like last week, I'm going to ask that you refer to Megan as a female and with feminine pronouns because that is how she identifies. She is a friend and a guest here so, as always, I demand the utmost respect for her. Should you leave any hateful or rude comments, I will use them as an example in my next post about cyber bullying.

     I would like to thank everyone for the huge amount of love, support, and kindness that was sent out last week. I sincerely thank everyone for extending the love to me, but I do also insist that it all goes to Megan and others in the LGBTQ+ community because I simply offered a small platform for her to speak out. It's entirely her story and she's the one who should be feeling all of the love here (as well as anyone else in the LGBTQ+ community).

     Please check out Megan's website here, her Twitter @StormsMayCome, or email your love and support to Megan@FinallyMegan.com. Please see the bottom of the post for sources and links to people who are fully equipped to help anyone in need. 




Hello everyone!
                Before I begin this post, I wanted first to thank each and every one of you who submitted questions and/or took the time to post a comment. It truly means so much to me to be able to share my story and to answer questions. As a Trans Advocate I think it is so important to be able to educate people in a positive way. I also wanted to thank Rachel for being so wonderful to me, giving me this opportunity, and that of the Q&A post. I am blessed!

            (Please note: I am writing this post from the perspective of a Transgender Person. I am in no way discriminating against any other LGBTQ+ group. I simply do not have much experience with what they specifically face and do not wish to speak out in fear of misrepresenting or misinforming anyone! Thank you!)

I grew up in a very conservative home. We were Christian and all I ever heard about the LGBTQ+ community was that they were gross, disgusting, and a total abomination in the sight of God. I knew how I felt- I was a girl trapped in a male body, (I didn’t know anything about being Transgender at that point) and I was terrified of what my family would say to me if they found out. Obviously if that community was disgusting or revolting in the sight of God, then I had to be too, right?

            I tried so hard to be “normal”. I tried to be “manly”, I did everything that I could to change who I was, but inside, I was so depressed. I knew I was different, I knew that I was nothing like the boys I was hanging out with. I still liked girls… so what did that mean? Was my mind just messed up? What would happen if my “terrible” secret was discovered?

            Growing up with the belief that you're somehow broken or disgusting was terrible is and I am not saying that only for myself. So many people go through life thinking that exact same thing. According to the Youth Suicide Prevention Program “More than 50% of Transgender youth will have had at least one suicide attempt by their 20th birthday.” An article from the Los Angeles Times also stated that “A whopping 41% of people who are transgender or gender-nonconforming have attempted suicide sometime in their lives; nearly nine times the national average of 4.6%.” This is an alarming statistic. USA Today reported that Transgender people who are rejected by their families are even more likely to attempt suicide.

            Ugh… I know- that sounded like a school report or something, right? I was depressed and suicidal for a time as well. My whole life was repugnant to the people I lived with and hung around, and they didn’t even know!

            Here is my point: When people discover that someone is expecting a child, one of the first questions they ask them is “What do you hope it will be?” The answer I most often hear is, “It does not matter as long as it’s healthy.” It is a beautiful sentiment and is wonderful to hear! Truly, it doesn’t, or shouldn’t matter right? Why then, when that same child comes to their family and informs them that they are Transgender, do some parents reject them? If gender didn’t matter before they were born, why then should it matter afterwards?

            As a Trans advocate, I try to use my experience to help others. I am not writing this as a “poor-pitiful-me” story, but rather as an object lesson of sorts. Acceptance is key. You do NOT have to agree. That is not the point at all, and I would NEVER tell you that you must. But you can accept. Love that person no matter what they are going through. You could change their entire life.





     If you or somebody you know needs some love and support, please contact The Trevor Project who specializes in helping the LGBTQ+ community and crises prevention, To Write Love On Her Arms who specializes in mental illness and suicide awareness/prevention, or the Suicide Hotline who has councilors ready 24/7 for anyone in need.


26 comments:

  1. Good question why does it matter, I wish I could answer that but I can't for some it really does matter but if you put them on the spot and get them to explain why it matters they will either not have an answer or will say because this is the body God gave you but really does God choice a baby's body I thought it was the man just saying, these people are hiding behind God for their own narrow minded opinion, also just my thought I may be wrong who knows. I cannot say how I would be if one of my children or grandchildren told me they were born into the wrong body, but since I do not judge people I hope I would be open and understanding. I get annoyed when my husband who is very narrow minded and says things like that person is an "it" not a she or a he years ago I would argue with him over his stupid comments but now I just pretend I didn't hear him he is so narrow minded. He also had a negative view of gays until he worked with a man who is gay and realised he was just like everyone else, I don't know what he thought the man would be like

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    1. Jo-Anne, thank you so much! The world needs more accepting people like you! Being around people who are opinionated can be difficult, but your willingness to go against the grain is to be commended! Thank you again!

      ~Megan~

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    2. Jo-Anne, you are a wise woman. I admire you.

      Love,
      Janie

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    3. Every one is different but underneath, we are all just people who want love and support.

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  2. Thank you for this post, Megan and Rachel. No matter how much we know, we can always learn more. Megan, I hope your childhood experiences don't lead you to believe that all Christians won't accept you. I'm a Christian; I accept you for who you are. I don't want you to be someone or something else. When Matthew Shepard was murdered in 1998, my son was a freshman at a university. He went to a candlelight evening of remembrance for Matthew Shepard, at which many students spoke out against Christianity. He told me he was terrified, but he HAD to get up to speak. He started by saying he was a Christian. He said he could feel the tension in the air. He went on to say that Christianity is not about hate. It's about love.

    He was absolutely correct. Those who use the Bible appall me when they pick and choose verses to speak out against homosexuality/same-sex marriage, or whatever is natural to people (as long as it doesn't hurt anyone). They use the verses that support what they want to believe. They always ignore the verse that says if your children misbehave, then you should kill them. We have moved past the law of the Old Testament and into the love of the New Testament. Love the Lord your God, and Love Your Neighbor as Yourself. That's what Jesus wanted.

    Again, thank you for your post.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. Janie, you are so wonderful! Seriously, this comment made my whole night!

      I am a Christian, and always will be because I understand that Jesus preached love and not condemnation. He accepts me no matter what, and although it has taken me years to understand this, I do now!

      Thank you so much for your support!

      ~Megan~

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    2. I'm glad you know that Jesus loves you. He will always be there for you.

      Love,
      Janie

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    3. "Love thy neighbor as thyself." is probably the most important lesson taught in the bible and is often one of the most over looked.

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  3. I know a transgender child. He is now a she. I can tell she is so happy. She looks really good to. She was so depressed before. Now she's just talkative, playful, and happy. I'm glad her parents are supportive. I know it's going to be a rough road when she goes to puberty. At least her family is there for her.

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    1. Family support is so important. It can change their whole life. What an awesome story!

      ~Megan~

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    2. Having family to support you, no matter what, is extremely important. I'm glad that she can be whoever she wants to be, especially without feeling the need to hide it for years.

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  4. I know there is a lot of education left to do and a road still to travel, but I am thrilled to live in a time where a person can be who they are. We should all strive to be happy and to be joyful at others happiness.As far as religion, the God I believe in is about love, not hate. Thanks for the read.

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    1. I 100% agree with everything that you said.

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    2. I'm sorry it has taken me so long to reply, but thank you so much for taking the time to read this! It is so important to have people who are understanding and accepting!

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  5. Thank you for sharing your story. It takes such courage to recognize your truth and then to live it. I will never understand the trans bigotry. There's not even a Bible passage to lean on. These are people who are just hating someone for the sake of hatred. Being trans has literally nothing to do with anyone else than the person who is trans. So, why care? If it doesn't hurt anyone, who cares? And this preposterous bathroom argument that we keep hearing is infuriating. You're right, no one has to agree, but I'd just ask for people to not care at the very least because it doesn't affect them and it affects the transgendered person (often a child) a great deal.

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    1. Personally, I'm okay if nobody agrees with my choices, but that's okay. You don't have to agree. But you damn well better respect them because I will do the same for you. Unless you do hurt somebody, in which case, you're a douchebag.

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    2. Thank you for your comment! Respecting others is so basic and yet too many people fail to think it applies in this situation. I don't get it.

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  6. Hi Rachel and Megan! I'm visiting via Janie Junebug's blog. I have not spent much time around transgendered people, so it was good for me to read this post. No matter how different two people are, when they sit down and talk genuinely, they can discover their common humanity. I've had zero respect for the hate and bigotry I have seen in some churches for more than a decade. I believe God is love and loves us all. Thank you for sharing!

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    1. I've met many transgendered people but I've never been able to ask questions before, so Megan was amazingly kind to let me! The more people who speak up, the more people who will have an understanding.

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    2. What is important is the understanding is that Transgender people are in fact human beings. Thank you so much for reading this!

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  7. Wow, how did we miss this? Well, just like we suck at adulting we also suck at Interneting. You already know how we feel about Megan and what she's doing, so we'll just say this. There are a lot of nasty people in the world that make life difficult for the transgendered, but there are many more people willing to stand up and fight for them, and that number only keeps growing. Hate will not win. It never does.

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    1. You guys suck, but you're also hella awesome. Thank you for not being assholes and also thank you for sucking at adulting so that I don't feel so bad about it. :)

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    2. You are so right! Love and acceptance will win as long as there are people willing to stand up for them! Thank you!

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