Sunday, December 6, 2015

My Mom's Book

     It's been a very busy couple of weeks here.

     Boyfriend got hurt. Boyfriend recovered. Boyfriend got sick. I got sick. Boyfriend recovered. I recovered. Black Friday. Coworker calling out twice at the last minute so I gained an extra three hours to my shifts. Family is full of assholes.

     It's just been very hard to have the energy to even think about turning the computer on. In the past two weeks, I've worked 82.5 hours, with one day off in the middle of it. Yesterday, I was off and slept until about 3 pm, and then still didn't have any energy to get up. Today, I'm off again (I almost cried at seeing two days off in a row) and my boyfriend is sick again so I'm playing doctor all day.

     In the good news (unless you think of how poor I am now) list, Cashew the one-eyed hamster is a dumbass. He chews the wires of his cage constantly, to the point that he made his own nose bald. Giving him toys and treats or letting him out didn't stop him, so Wolfy (boyfriend) used his massive employee appreciate discount to help me buy an aquarium for the stupid rodent. It's good news because now he's quiet, he has more space to run, and it's so much bigger he now has a larger wheel (that his fat hamster self can fit in) and a house to sleep in. He's a happy hamster (albeit, his intelligence is questionable).

     I do have big(ish) news though?

     I've mentioned here my inability to cook but my amazing ability to call for take-out. (Still true. I am damn good at calling for pizza, to the point I have my debit card number memorized. Unfortunately, I only have like $10 on it right now, so that's won't buy me a lot of pizza here.)

     But...

     My mom is a hella good cook. Did I ever tell yall that? I honestly can't remember. After three years of blogging, you'd think I would have, but possibly not.

     Since my mom and I can't work in the kitchen together since we both turn around holding large knives and neither one of us want to be stabbed to death, she's been teaching me to cook via phone calls and texts. All the recipes that she's used for years, she's finally sharing with me.

     And we've decided to make a cook book together???

     (I'll be the writer/editor/computer person. She's making all the food. I'm making the food from her recipes and contributing like...two of my own. Maybe three. I'm not sure.)

     We've only just started on it so I can't tell you too much about it (since it's not a thing yet) but it'll have all kinds of things. The first one that's been written out is chili with almost no tomato sauce. We'll also be including my favorite chicken since I was a kid, salmon, deviled eggs, pork chops, chicken soup, and other stuff. The thing is, it's all fancy-sounding, but you know me. I'm not fancy. If I can't easily make it, I'm going to be like "fuck this shit" and call for a pizza (hence why I have like $10 in my bank account).

     But! Here's where yall come in.

     We'll be giving away 15 free copies of the book (when it's actually finished) for an honest review on your blog/website. If you're interested, you can either leave a comment here or email me at pertinax_puella@hotmail.com (I should clarify that it'll be an e-book so it won't be a physical copy.)

     In other news, I heard my neighbors having sex a couple weeks ago, and literally wondered why they had monkeys in their apartment for like five minutes before I realized that no, those sounds are not monkeys.

14 comments:

  1. Well, I don't think people want to see cartoons of us reading and reviewing a cook book (unless it's a jackass review, which isn't fair to you), but we are excited for it to come out and look forward to checking it out/putting it to use. I only say fuck it and order pizza if I'm feeling truly lazy, but outside of that I like cooking and learning new recipes.

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    1. Hot damn. Are you the first sale?

      MOMMY LOOK, SOMEBODY WANTS TO LEARN THINGS FROM YOU!

      (She won't see this comment but I'll tell her. She's going to be really excited.)

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    2. I thought I replied to this but I guess I didn't.

      What I lack in comment reply skills I more than make up for in buying skills. So yes, so long as your mom's recipes aren't things like ramen noodle cookies or a bread sandwich I'm on board.

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    3. Damnit! How did you get a copy? Sneaky bastards..........

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  2. Since I am up to my ears in cookbooks, I'll decline on this one, although I'm sure there are many wonderful recipes. I helped my mother put together recipes and her memoirs a number of years ago, and have it out on ebook as well. Good luck!

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    1. Mother's always have the best recipes, don't they?

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  3. I am not a great cook but I won't kill you with my cooking either, I am a basic cooker don't do fancy or complicated just saying, Christmas is approaching so damn fast but I think I have in fact bought all the presents just have to sort them out but I have not felt like tackling such a big task

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    1. I haven't bought a single present yet. I have to shop for my boyfriend, secret Santa at work, my Godson, and my mom. Help.

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  4. Sorry you've had a difficult couple of weeks. And yeah. Cashew sounds pretty stupid. But he's a rodent, so what do you expect? If you need a reviewer for your book, I'll review it. My email address is: sherry.a.ellis@gmail.com.

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    1. Rats are incredibly intelligent but I guess hamsters aren't quite as smart.

      That would be amazing! Thank you! I'll email you with the details as soon as I know more.

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  5. You know I want to review it girl! I can't wait until it's out!

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    1. I'm excited too! I'm running out of storage space on my computer though so I need to get a backup for all the recipes.

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  6. Good luck with the cook book!!! I love to cook so I'll be excited to get my hands on a copy. :)

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    1. I told my mom you would be one of the ones to be excited! Lots of easy things and lots of slow-cooker recipes too, which I know you'll like because of little Mushy-Face.

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