Thursday, May 28, 2015

Horoscope




     I happened to see this on Facebook. I'm a virgo. This is highly accurate.

Monday, May 25, 2015

Memorial Day

     Friendly reminder:

     Memorial Day isn't about eating burgers, getting deals in stores, partying out by the pool, and day drinking.

     Memorial Day is about remembering everything that our military has ever done for us. It's a day dedicated to the men, women, and others (since not everyone identifies as a man or a woman-that's for another post though) who have given their blood, time, sanity, and lives for the freedom of their country.

     By all means, celebrate the weekend. Eat your burgers, get your good deals, party (safely) out by the pool, (responsibly) day drink. But don't forget that the only reason you can do a single fucking thing on that list, and so many other things that we all take for granted every single day, is because of the people who sacrificed themselves for us.

     I have to work tomorrow, but you can bet your ass that if I know anyone I see is from the military, I'm going to drop what I'm doing and walk right up to them. I'm going to hold out my hand and say, "On behalf of my readers, my store, and my family, I would personally like to thank you for your sacrifices and your services. It is an honor to shake the hand of a person who gave their all so my country could be one of the most privileged and free in the world. Thank you." 

     I urge you to do the same, not just this weekend but anytime you see somebody from any branch of the military.

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Not An Angel

     A couple weeks ago, I had to be out of the door very early in the morning but I ended up with time to kill. I wound up at Party City, sad because there weren't any Halloween toys to play with, but they still had the clearance costumes out.


Thanks, Mom.

     I didn't end up getting the costume yet. I can't be an angel but I can damn sure be a princess.

Monday, May 18, 2015

Tough Topics: Flirting vs Catcalling

     As always, I am not a trained professional nor have I been educated on anything with this matter. Everything I say comes from personal experiences or research that I've done online. If you are dealing with any sort of problems, I strongly urge you to seek professional help.

     If you have any topic suggestions (you will be given full credit for) please send me an email at pertinax_puella@hotmail.com. If you want to write a guest post, it will be as anonymous as you want it, and you can privately discuss details with me over that same email account.



     Flirting is how you act when you're attracted to somebody or want to be in a relationship with them. You tease each other, play around, compliment each other in cute ways, have innocent physical contact, etc. It can be sweet and it can be sexual, depending on the people involved, but it is never meant to make the other person feel uncomfortable.

     Catcalling or wolf-whistling is when you yell things of a sexual nature or let out a loud whistle that reminds me of a gym teacher's whistle when the class pissed them off. Guys do it to women, or in the worst circumstances young girls, but I have never seen a woman do it to a man. Why? Because we don't like it. It's not a compliment and it automatically makes women's defenses go up to protect themselves, against what sounds very predatory.

     If you're walking down the street and you pass by a girl with the most beautiful face you've ever seen and a body that would make swimsuit models turn green with envy, do you honestly think yelling something like, "NICE ASS!" or "EY HOW YOU DOIN'?" or "CAN I TAP THAT?" or letting out that gym-sounding whistle will ever actually let you near them?

     You might be stupid if you answered "yes" to that question. I would highly reccomend getting checked.

     The correct answer is NO. They're going to get nervous and probably either look for a safe place to go into or pull out their pepper spray- possibly both.

     Now, if you're walking down the street and you see that same woman, what might actually get you a phone number or a date? Perhaps, I don't know, if you walk up to her and politely say something like, "Excuse me, but you have (insert compliment here) that I have ever seen. I was really hoping that I could get your number or maybe meet you for coffee some time?" Now, with that compliment, you have to be careful still. Don't make it sexual. Make it about her eyes or her hair or another facial feature. If you say she has a nice ass, you are within slapping distance, so you have been warned.

     Though, I wonder if that's why people do catcall. They're able to treat women as nothing more than sexual objects, while at a safe distance so that they can't be slapped or sprayed with mace.

     I'm not the type to sit around and take it though.

     On my birthday last year, I walked through the food court of the mall I work in. When I passed by a table of guys, one of them whistled at me. I walked right back over to the table and asked, "Excuse me, but did one of you just whistle at me?"

     "No, it was him! It wasn't me!" All three of them started pointing at each other and none of them would own up to me.

     "I don't care who did it. I'm here to tell you not to do it again. I am not a dog and I will not be treated like one."

     "No, it wasn't me!" They all argued.

     "I don't give a fuck if it was you or your buddy. I'm not a dog. You will not treat me like one. You will not treat any other woman like one. Don't ever try it again. Women are your equals and do not deserve to be treated like animals. Do I make myself clear?"

     The actual conversation/argument lasted about half an hour because I refused to walk away until I got an apology. The thing is, I was fairly safe because I was in an area highly patrolled by security guards that knew who I was and in a busy space where I knew many people. I responded one time, when I ended up in danger.

     I was walking home and just as I crossed the street, a guy leaned out of his car and started screaming vulgar things with his friend. I turned around, threw my middle finger up in the air, and screamed "GO FUCK YOURSELF" before I turned right back around and started walking home again. Then they turned onto the street that I was in and started following me. Obviously, I got away fine, but that could have ended horribly for me. I have another similar story from when I was in sixth grade but that's for another time.

     By all means, stand up for yourself and for women everywhere, when you are safe. Don't put yourself at risk because somebody else is stupid.

     Catcalling is wrong and should be stopped, but start with teaching your sons, nephews, the neighbor kids, and the kids you babysit that it is wrong to do. Getting into screaming matches can end horribly and this is one of those situations where I want you to learn from something that could have put me in serious danger. Don't put yourself in danger. Just teach the next generation how to treat women and then there will be nothing to worry about.

     On the final note, catcalling is sexual harassment 100%. However, flirting can end up being sexual harassment if the person on the receiving end isn't actually okay with it. Always make sure you're on the same page so that nobody ends up feeling uncomfortable.

Thursday, May 14, 2015

Knock Knock, It's Your Butt

     If that title didn't get your attention, I honestly don't know what will. The best part is that it's relevant.

     About two months ago, I woke up when my boyfriend and roommate left for work in the morning, but fell back asleep right after. At some point after I was home alone, I felt myself wake up, but it felt like my entire body was made of lead and I couldn't move. The most terrifying part was that I felt somebody walk across the room and sit down on the bed next to me, but I couldn't move or scream or even open my eyes. Then suddenly, I was awake, but the room was exactly how it was when I was asleep. It's the second time I've had a dream of that nature. I called my mom to see if she had ever had a dream like that.

     It turns out, she had, that same week. My mom began telling me about a stupid argument that she had with her 24 year old boyfriend (she's 41, so yes, a cougar). We call him Mr Fix-It here, since I don't think he knows I even have a blog and some of the things I've said may very well piss him off. Whatever.

     I don't remember what the argument was about, actually. It was something incredibly stupid that isn't even worth remembering. Probably about the laundry being folded wrong or what they wanted for dinner. It was pointless, but it lasted until bedtime.

     Well, Momma went to bed early because she was not going to go to bed with him. If he wanted to be in the same bed, he would have to go to bed with her. He never actually went to bed with her.

     This is where it gets weird. My mom was asleep before he even attempted to sleep.

     She "woke up" and watched him walk around the house. He tried the kitchen floor but it was too hard. He tried the living room floor but the furniture didn't allow enough room. He tried the couches but they hurt his back. He walked into the bathroom, considering the tub, but walked back out because it seemed like a bad idea. Eventually, he ended up in the bedroom but he was sat in an armchair. My mom kept laughing, asking where he was going to go. He didn't respond. The silent treatment.

     That was when she was thrown up against the wall and flipped upside down, all while Mr Fix-It managed to go to sleep. Then the knocking began.

     She was brought out enough so her butt (or lack there of) could slam back against the wall to start knocking, in intervals of three.

     (That was where I started laughing uncontrollably on the phone and she had to pause her story until I was able to calm myself down again.)

     Well, she didn't like that her butt was being used to knock on a wall and she didn't like that Mr Fix-It was just sleeping in the chair while some unseen force was forcing her to use her butt to knock against a wall. So, she did a very my-mom-thing and started screaming curse words at him.

     When she looked over at the bed, she finally saw what made her realize that she wasn't awake.

     A lump under the blankets was still there. She was in bed asleep but having her butt knocked against the wall while screaming profanity at the same time.

     I don't remember what she said about waking up, but eventually Mr Fix-It ended up in bed with her. My dream is still terrifying and her's is still incredibly humorous. Have you experienced either? Let me know in the comments.

Sunday, May 10, 2015

Happy Mother's Day 2015

     It was a bit strange taking ten days off from posting, when I had been posting six days a week for the entire month of April. I sort of needed it to relax and catch up on my sleep though. There has been a lot going on that I can't talk about just yet, but there's more good than bad. The good always outweighs the bad.

     Hopefully I will be back to posting regularly again. My goal is to post every Monday and Thursday. Mondays will be dedicated to the Tough Topics series and Thursdays will be for whatever my brain comes up with next.

     My boyfriend works over night tonight and tomorrow night, plus I have a short day shift on Wednesday. My plan is to use that all to my advantage and prewrite as many posts as I can so that they are scheduled to go up and that I won't miss a day. If I do miss a day, somebody needs to yell at me.



     But all of that aside, I wanted to wish all the mothers out there a Happy Mother's Day.

     Whether you're a biological mom, you adopted, you're fostering, you're a step mother, you're a dad who has to fill both roles, or something else- I hope you had a wonderful day and got to spend it with you child(ren).

     And for those of you who have lost their mother, or lost a child (born or unborn), I want you to know that somebody cares and understands. I know words on a screen can't magically make you feel better, but you will get through this. You just have to stick around long enough to see the amazing things yet to come.