Saturday, April 16, 2016

N is for Nope

     I went to the zoo with my boyfriend yesterday and I think my most said walked was NOPE.

     While getting slightly lost on a desert path:

Boyfriend: Do you see all these little holes?
Me: Yeah?
Bf: Avoid those.
Me: Why?
Bf: Scorpions and tarantulas.
Me: NOPE.
Bf: Do you see the slightly bigger holes?
Me: ...Yes.
Bf: Snakes.
Me: NOPE, BITCH, NOPE. AW HELL NO. THE FUCK IS THE CONCRETE AT?



     A little while later, when we found the bug cages:

Boyfriend: OH COOL! Look at this tarantula's stripes!
Me: Nope. I'm good over here.
Bf: But it's so cool!
Me: Nope.
Bf: Just come look!
Me: NOPE.



     A little while later when we found the reptile cages:

Me: WOAH LOOK AT THIS BOA.
Boyfriend: So you hate spiders but you're okay with snakes? Weren't you noping snakes back on the trail?
Me: Yes, but boas aren't poisonous and this one is in a cage, so as long as it doesn't Harry Potter me, I'm good.
Me to the boa: Please don't Harry Potter me.
Boa: (turns his head to me)
Me: Bro. Nope. 
Boa: (lifts his head up)
Me: I said nope. Stop that.
Boa: (turns his head away from me, which I assume is his nope)
Some random ass lady: SNAAAAAAKE OH MY GOD SNAAAAAKE
Me: Nope, bitch, nope. Pipe the fuck down. I am done with your bullshit.

     Turns out a wild snake got somewhere in the zoo and was chilling in a tree, just noping all the humans, and this woman caused about 10 people to panic and run. No staff around and we didn't see any for about 40 minutes so we couldn't alert them since we weren't even sure where this snake was supposed to be.

     I am now noping all about my sunburn. (Guess what my S post is.)

6 comments:

  1. I would have caught the tree snake and brought it home to visit with my python.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't have a python at home but I do have a disabled hamster and, for some reason, I just don't see them getting along.

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  2. I second your nopes, but I want nothing to do with a snake of any kind.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I will keep the snakes away from you.

      Love,
      Rachel

      Delete