Saturday, February 11, 2012

Childhood Dreams: Then and Now (Part One)

     This post is Brother's idea, but I think it's pretty darn awesome. Since it's actually pretty long, I'm going to do it in parts. Normally, I'll try to post about what's been going on in my life, but I also want to get the blog fully up and running, which requires more posts. Since I have no life (which seems to be changing, yay!), I'll probably also have a lot of days where I have nothing worthwhile to post, so I'll post about whatever I can think of (or ideas; ideas are always welcome).

The Mommy Dream
     When I was two, I was in a church daycare every Sunday when I went to church (with my dad's mom and his oldest sister). My mom got a phone call on Sunday, from my dad's sister, freaking out because I had gotten into a fight with another little girl. Apparently, I was all happy and smiley and content, playing with one of the dolls at the church. Then some bully girl decided to take the doll away from me.

     I guess I've always been a temperamental person because I hit her. Momma doesn't know if I full out beat her up or if I only hit her, but I was two years old and got into a fight in the church daycare over a doll. Proud day for my family, eh? Well, either way, I was invited back the following Sunday because I was only sticking up for myself. The Pastor (I think? We're not really sure.) even gave me the doll I had fallen in love with. I then took it upon my two year old self to name the doll Baby Girl Jesus and decided I wanted to be a mommy when I grew up, but my doll would be my baby in the mean time.

     Do I still want to be a mommy? One day in the future, yeah, I think I would absolutely love that.

The Teacher's Aid Dream
     When I was in pre-k, when I was three and four (I have a late birthday), I had a really nice teacher's aid that I absolutely loved. She did more work than the actual teacher and was a complete biker chick. She was also a very pretty lady and one of the nicest, sweetest people you could ever meet. Who could blame me for wanting to be like her?

     I don't really remember having this dream but my mom does, so it's difficult to write about. I don't really want to be a teacher's aid anymore, since I don't think I would be able to handle it without completely losing my mind, but I would still like to be like the teacher's aid I had. Even if I could be half the person she was, I would be a very happy person.

The Cowgirl Dream
     In kindergarten, every student got a week where they filled out this huge poster board with their name, favorite color and food, birthday, and the like. Well, the teacher wrote it, but the student provided the information. The week was spent with that student getting to be line leader and the teacher's helper, which was a huge honor for all the four and five year old children.

     I wasn't prepared when it was my week. I was already a really shy kid so when I had to answer questions about myself, I sort of panicked, especially about what I wanted to be when I grew up. People had already picked veterinarian and teacher and all sorts of cool things, but I wanted to be totally different. So I said the first thing that came to mind.

     "I want to be a cowgirl when I grow up."

     The more I thought about it, the more I realized that that would actually be an awesome job to have. I would get to ride horses all day and have a lot of dogs on a really big farm with a really big house. I'd be surrounded by animals, because cowgirls always had animals on their farms. It seemed perfect for me, until I was told that farms are on flat land and tornadoes (one of my biggest fears) were more likely to appear on flat lands than in mountains.

     Do I still want to be a cowgirl? Not so much, but I still want to live on a farm with horses and be surrounded by animals.

The Veterinarian Dream
     Not long after the cowgirl dream failed me, I decided I still wanted to do something with animals, so I decided I would be a veterinarian. I love animals, always have. When I was little, I was always taking in strays and trying to find their owners, or taking care of them myself. Actually, I still do that, which is why we have half the animals we do.

     When I told people about my dream to save animals' lives, they cheered me on. Then I told somebody, who shall go unnamed, who told me, "You'll have to put the animal down if they aren't going to make it." This was right after I had lost my dog. She was twelve years old and had to be put down because everything was starting to fail her. Needless to say, it was hard for a little girl to hear.

     But damnit, I wanted to help some animals! I decided that I would open my own veterinary clinic, that way the people I hired would put the animals to sleep instead of me. Pretty smart for a five year old, right? I thought it was until that same person told me, "You have to have a lot of money and experience to do that." That kind of did it for me. Not only that, but I discovered a few years ago (upon having teeth pulled) that I have a weak stomach for blood.

     Do I still want to be a vet? Not so much, but I'll still help any animal I can.

The Teacher Dream
     The teacher dream and the veterinarian dream sort of happened around the same time. Nobody remembers exactly when the dreams started, which one started first, or anything like that. What we do remember is that I was very passionate about both of them, but the teacher dream lasted longer since flaws were pointed out in my plans to become a vet.

     I played school ALL THE TIME. I'm not even kidding. As soon as I got home from school and did my homework, I would set up my toys and give them work, teach them, and then grade it. It was even better when I had friends to play with, but they weren't very good students, so that lost it's appeal pretty fast.

     Eventually, some time around first grade, we actually played school in school. Every Thursday, I went to this special program for all the advanced students (oh, I am so smart!) for one hour. By the time we got back, only about fifteen minutes were left before the bell. Since seven or eight people from my class went, the teacher would give the rest of the class free time or a group project.

     One day, the teacher for the special advanced class was sick, so we had to stay in the classroom. Since we always missed out on the special projects, even though we had our own, we played a game. We were split up in groups by table and most of us (your's truly, included) were put in charge of the group of five other students. Whoever could get their "class" to behave the best won. My table was the loudest and I lost all courage in being a teacher.

     Do I still want to be a teacher? Not really. I don't think I could handle a room full of screaming kids and since I know how teenagers are, there's no freaking way I would teach highschool. Plus, I REALLY HATE math.

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