Rachel posted about embarrassing mom moments the other day - and the next thing I knew I was offering to write a guest post about embarrassing (but ever so fun) moments with me on the plane. I have two incidents to share and I'm going to do my best to keep myself from being too long-winded about them.
The first incident was when I was flying Cochin/Bombay. I must have been around twenty years old at the time and was travelling with a group of friends. Travel + friends = mega excitement for me. And when I get mega excited I go absolutely nutso!
I don't remember what started the whole thing; but somehow I became inspired to act as though I was mentally handicapped. I didn't actually drool, but I did everything else to the embarrassment and amusement of my friends. My hands flopped about in unusual directions, I laughed and wobbled my head around for no apparent reason, and finally, I began stacking the food on my tray.
As it so happened we had a very attentive steward taking care of us on that flight. He was hovering over me as I stacked my food and so I thought it would be approrpriate to ask him for a banana. Within a few minutes he was back at my side holding a lovely yellow banana of the highest order; however, even though my hand was reaching out for it eagerly, he didn't hand it over. Instead, he looked at my friend and asked, "Is it all right if I give it to her?"
It was all I could do to keep from bursting out with laughter! Up until that point, I hadn't realized how convincing my behaviour was; I presumed that he knew I was just joking around.
My second bit of craziness was on a flight from Houston to Paris. However, before I go any further, I want to say that even though I get a kick out of telling this story - the fact is - the groups I've travelled with have behaved infinitely worse than the happy people I'm about to describe. I think there's something about being surrounded by friends that makes you forget all else.
Ok, so I was travelling Houston/Paris and there was a group of about thirty Texan tourists on board the flight with me. They were decked out in full cowboy/gal costumes. Not really costumes of course, but all the cowboys hats, buckles, boots etc. It was a happy group. They were obviously excited about their journey and were having the time of their lives. The only problem was that they were so absorbed in said happiness that the rest of the world seemed to have vanished in their presence.
When we landed at Charles de Gaule, in Paris, there was a bus ready to take us from the plane to the terminal. I usually wait for the crowds to disembark because I hate the crush - and so it was that I ended up being the last person to board the bus.
Well, I wanted to board it, but I couldn't. I was stuck outside with two French businessmen because my happy group of fellow Texans had filled the front of the bus and left the back portion empty. There was plenty of room - all they needed to do was push on into the depths.
The French men and I stood there for a moment, watching as the little driver scampered back and forth in front of the group, begging them in French to move on back. However, the friendly Texans with their thick Southern drawls and loud laughter, didn't notice the petite driver's repeated bleats.
Feeling compassion for the driver, and feeling responsible for my fellow Texans, it occurred to me that I had to act. It's in these situations that my better self rises to the forefront. Something had to be done. So, taking in a deep breath, and filling my lungs with powerful air, I bellowed,
"MOVE IT!!! MOVE IT!!! ALL OF YOU, TO THE BACK OF THE BUS, NOW!!! MOVE IT!!!"
The response was immediate and gratifying. The herd was startled into jumping three feet in the air and, grabbing their bags, they stampeded to the back of the bus. All that could be seen for a moment was a cloud of dust; however, when it settled, there they were huddled together with their eyes rolling about wildly in their heads...
Standing by my side were the two French businessmen. They were holding their stomachs as they doubled over with laughter. Literally. I've never seen people laugh quite so hard. And of course the driver looked greatly relieved as he made his way to his seat.
All that was left to do was to step into the vacated area and primly sit down. Which I did with the utmost decorum.