Thursday, May 3, 2012

I Nearly Died On Tuesday

     So, as I mentioned, I had surgery on Tuesday. I've had braces for two and a half years but I finally got them off. Unfortunately, I had to have the tendons cut on my top incisor teeth so that they wouldn't turn back around after I had the braces removed. This didn't really seem like a big deal to me. To everyone else? The second I said I was having surgery, my phone blew up with texts of people freaking out.

     We got there early and I walked by a girl that I realized I knew. Last time I was there, I noticed the girl's name on a screen and thought it was hilarious. I don't personally know her well, but I went to school with her older brother. He harassed me and she seemed to hate me from the second I met her. When we walked in, I was positive it was her and thought it was hilarious.

     When I was called back, I was in the public room (there are three chairs per room and I think there are three rooms). One of the hygienists snapped the brackets off the top row of teeth (which hurt a little bit but wasn't horrible). Then she used this drill type thing to scrap the glue off of my teeth. She was letting me rinse my mouth out in the sink (three sinks, just outside the rooms) when another lady took over and called me into the private room (which was right next to the room I was in).

     The new lady got the rest of the glue off my top teeth and got the brackets and glue off the bottom. Then when I was rinsing my mouth again, I saw my actual orthodontist. Her husband is my dentist. Even though I hate their professions, I love these people. They just had a baby and since she was on maternity leave, I missed seeing her for the past couple months. I even hugged her. (See, I'm not a total bitch!) She numbed my front teeth and then left, because she had to go check on other people and such.

     Then the hygienist had to take a mold of my top teeth so that they could make my retainer. She put the cement in my mouth and when I started gagging, put the metal plate in my mouth. I was actually choking on this shit. I mean, I was gagging, coughing, unable to get any oxygen into my lungs, turning blue/purple, and crying. I could still breath through my nose but my air way was partially blocked and it caused panic to override logic to the point I couldn't breath at all. I don't know how long I was struggling, but I was only freed after the mold had set. I was shaking for twenty minutes. There ain't no way she's coming near me again.

     After that, while still shaking and being unable to really stay still, the actual surgery happened. The other orthodontist, a guy, has worked on a few celebrities who shall go unnamed. I like Missus Orthodontist better but I wasn't going to complain because he's good at my job.

     He gave me a few more shots of Novocaine so that I wouldn't feel anything. Then he cut the front left, front right, and back left. He started on the back right but I could feel the knife. It didn't hurt but I felt pressure so I made a noise. After more Novocaine (for those keeping count, it's two Q-tips with numbing gel and twenty-two shots [or a vile and a half] of Novocaine according to my mom who watched the entire thing) I got the last one cut. Then my mouth was stuffed full of wet gauze (to help stop the bleeding) and I was sent on my way.

     I saw that girl had the front desk on the way out. I wanted to smirk at her like "haha Bitch, I got mine off and you just got your's. Have fun with that." but I could barely keep my mouth closed, my lips were numb, and she never actually did anything to me besides glaring for no reason.

     Ten minutes later, the medicine was already starting to wear off but I didn't get any prescriptions at all so we called my medic grandpa for advice to confirm the chick's advice who nearly killed me. We bought Tylenol and Motrin, but only after stopping to get a new modem cord because they were going to be closing soon. Then we went to WalMart, got my pain killers, and I had to change my gauze in the bathroom because my mom and her friend who works there made me laugh and start drooling blood. It was icky.

     Then I came home and relaxed. It took a few hours but the bleeding stopped and I was able to eat pudding and soup with minimal pain. Yesterday, I was supposed to work but Boss Lady managed to get the afternoon off so I could sleep since I was exhausted. I ate a bunch of food and slept a lot.

     Today involved more sleeping, work, and eating. I ate an entire burger (granted, I couldn't bite into it, but whatever) with only saying "Ouch" twice!

     The most comments I've gotten are, "Holy shit you look weird. Your smile is pretty but you look weird." At least 90% of people have said this since I got the braces off. I have to agree. Every time I look in the mirror, I freak out a little bit because there's a whole new smile there.

     By tomorrow afternoon around five, I'll be fully healed, according to the orthodontist. It was a very minor surgery, after all. Turns out that getting the mold taken was the most dangerous part.

P.S. My mom saw two people get molds taken before me. They didn't choke or gag or nearly die. Her boss is wrong. It isn't normal.

P.S. #2 Sorry there aren't any pictures but I don't have time in order to still post today. Plus, I have no idea how to draw any of this.


  1. Sorry that happened to you, but I'll bet you are happy to finally have those things out of your mouth.

    1. The process to getting all that junk out of my mouth wasn't fun, but it was worth it. I'm really happy that all of that is over with now.