Monday, June 4, 2012

I'm Popular! And Other Junk.

     Actually, no, but I feel like it! Ever since Lady in Red from A Bozo's Abbozzo gave my first award to me (displayed on the right, in all it's amazingness), my views have skyrocketed and I have gained four followers. That was on Saturday and today is Monday.

     I wanted to welcome you all to my blog and thank you for even checking it out, but especially if you decided to follow me. That really means a lot to me and I hope you know that.

     Just so you guys know:

1) I always reply to comments when you leave them. I love talking to other bloggers and will gladly hold a conversation with you.

2) I have a list of almost thirty blogs (as of now) that I'm trying to go through.

3) When I check out somebody's blog, I always start at the oldest post and work my way to the newest. I don't follow until after that and I rarely comment until the newer posts, but that doesn't mean I'm not there.

4) If you follow me or suggest a blog, it will be put on the list of those to read. It's a first come first serve list, but the link will be there.

5) You guys make me happy and I love you for that.

     I also wanted to take the time to tell Lady, Santhosham. I just read on her blog that where she lives in India, that is the more proper way to express gratitude, rather than actually thanking somebody. If you haven't already, go check out that post here.

     Now, let's move on to the real reason why you're here. A story about my life, either recent or something that stands out in my memory. Hmm... Maybe one involving my mother? Yeah, let's go with the spur of the moment road trip that we took on Saturday, forty-five minutes north of where we live, to a town I used to live in.

     I only lived there for about nine months before we moved here. It's a tiny little town that you can't even find on a map. As of last time I was there, they had finally gotten ONE WHOLE STOP SIGN to put in downtown. I literally blinked and missed downtown when driving through. It consists of a post office (in which the stop sign was placed) that I've seen open maybe three times and a couple burned down buildings. That's it.

     The school I went to is kindergarten through eighth grade. I was in sixth grade. There were two entire classes for the entire sixth grade. We were stuck in the basement. There were a total of roughly sixty students in the entire basement. Just in my class alone, 30% were neighbors and there were a few sets of cousins. The highschool was decent sized but I never went there.

     Anyways, since we both had the day off, we decided to drive up there just for the hell of it. I kind of wanted to see if I would run into anyone I used to know, and if I did, would they recognize me without how much I've changed in the past six years. Plus, we were bored and easily entertained.

     The first thing we noticed was right away. In front of the highschool, THERE WAS A WHOLE STOP LIGHT. As if that wasn't shocking enough, there was a second one about thirty feet away. TWO WHOLE STOP LIGHTS. I couldn't believe it. Momma said I should take a picture for you guys, but I would have had to be on school property that cops hang around on, and that's not allowed here in the summer.

     We drove up another couple of miles to the area that we used to live in. The first surprise is that there were actually people there. Then again, the public pool just opened up, so that's probably why everyone is flocking there.

     That's actually where my mom taught me to drive and it has the very first street that I ever drove across. We pissed off a bunch of people who were in a hurry behind us, but I got you guys a picture.
See where the street turns in? I lived down there.
     We didn't actually see anybody that I knew, but we did see several people that I thought I recognized. We also didn't stop to hang out with anyone since who knows that kind of trouble Momma could have gotten us into? The redneck hillbilly douchebag sheriff doesn't like us anyways so we didn't want to press our luck.

     I did have to take a page from Misty, over at Misty's Laws. She will use her ninja photography skills to take pictures of awful outfits and general stupidity. This is one of the former. Unlike my mom, I didn't ask this guy for a picture.

He is wearing hiking boots, long white socks, khaki shorts, a blue shirt with one red sleeve, and a weird tan floppy fishing hat.
We're pretty sure he saw me take this picture.
     Right after I took the second picture and climbed back inside the window I was leaning out of, my mom suddenly screamed, "SAY CHEESE, TATERNUTS." He heard us. We think the guys in the truck behind us did too. We drove away, laughing hysterically, and hoping they didn't memorize our license plate.

     As we headed back towards civilization  the city in which I live, Momma had her window down. Every time a car with their window down as well would drive passed us, she would suddenly scream out a random phrase.

     After passing the cemetery [I would like it noted that we believe in respect for the dead and mean no disrespect to anyone by what I am about to say.], she would shout out, "CEMETERY STRAIGHT AHEAD", or "DEAD PEOPLE NORTH OF HERE". Once we made a turn and the directions would be too long to correctly give, she switched to "I SEE YOUR BRA STRAP". Most of the cars that drove by were guys.

     We finally made it to the almost highway thing. It's not really a highway but people here think it is. Whatever it is, we finally got there and were about to turn off to go into a store so that we could get food, when I noticed something.

That is a portapotty.
In the middle of a highway.
     A cop watched me take that picture.


  1. Rachel, seeing you use 'santhosham' went straight to my heart. Made me cry!

    Santhosham ;-)

  2. Haha!!! Hilarious post! You guys are so awesome and you know what? I think the two of you should go on a longgggggggggggg road trip with the intention of writing about it!

    The "say cheese taternuts" totally cracked me up!!! Also the part about seeing bra straps lol... This was really a good read! :)

    1. LOL I would love to do that. I'll try to convince her of it but we'll need to find somebody that The Big Dog would let babysit him. Unless we take him with us. That could cause for hilarious things.

      hahahahaha I'm glad you liked it so much. I was laughing so hard when it happened that I just had to share.

  3. And I'm still LMAO! I hope Dude sees his pic and gets a fashion coordinator.....