Do you guys remember a couple weeks ago when I wrote about my amazing friend Ashley getting drunk for the first time? Do you remember how absolutely fucking hilarious it was? Yeah, so do it. It was pretty great, wasn't it?
Friday night, we were on the webcam. I'm not entirely sure what happened but some how I may have accidentally dared her to drink again. I don't really know what happened but one minute I was saying, "I don't take stupid dares, I make them." and the next minute she was downing a shot of vodka.
You have no idea how much I want to tell you about the conversation we had. We were on the webcam for like four hours, in which time she did like six shots of vodka, half a shot from some Asian alcohol I've never heard of (that actually made her sick), and two wine coolers. It was crazy.
Unfortunately, it was so vulgar, I could barely repeat some of the stuff the next day to tell her what all had happened. I never knew sweet little Ashley would ever say anything like the stuff she told me that night. There was so much laughing, my stomach actually hurt the next day.
But don't worry! I won't completely leave you hanging! I have a few random things that I'm able to tell you that happened!
"I think I want another shot.
Yeah, I want to take another shot.
-goes into the kitchen and pours half a shot-
Maybe half a shot.
Yeah, that's a better idea.
-holds it up to her lips and starts giggling-
Maybe not. This stuff is nasty.
-pours it back into the bottle-
-ten minutes later-
I think I want another shot."
(I just kind of agreed to whatever she was doing because I'm a bad influence.)
"Let's watch Blues Clues! What year were you born? 1993? Yeah, you're old enough to remember this show. I love it."
(That was my favorite little kid show. I actually got excited about watching it again.)
"I drank half of Gino's vodka. He's going to be piiiiiiiiiiiiiiissed."
(Keep in mind, this girl doesn't curse. Also, he ended up laughing in shock and disbelief when he discovered it.)
"Call me, beep me, if you wanna reach meeeeee."
(Kim Possible theme song! She sang it.)
"DEE DEE GET OUT OF MY LAB."
(Anybody remember Dextor's Laboratory?)
(What about Scooby Doo? I know you can't forget about that awesomeness.)
"I think Gino woke up. Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh. We have to play it cool. I'm gonna mute you, okay? Okay.
-mutes laptop, shuts off lights, and disappears-"
(All I could think was "Wow, shit is gonna get awkward if Gino walks in an sees a girl laughing hysterically on his wife's laptop.")
"I have to pee. Will you be here when I get back? I really have to pee. Please be here. I'll be sad if you leave. Okay, I'm gonna go pee now."
(This happened multiple times.)
At one point, she gave me an entire tour of her living room and her kitchen.
She had me call her phone because she lost it and then tried to hold a conversation on it while we were talking on the webcam, until I pointed out that we were, in fact, on the webcam. Then she hung up on me.
That's all I can think of at the moment, besides the vulgar stuff, which I can't really put on here. She said she kind of wants to do it again so next time, I'll be sure to take notes for you!