Thursday, June 7, 2012

My Momma Needs To Learn To Keep Her Phone With Her

     Ever since my mom got a cell phone, about nine years ago, she NEVER remembers to keep it with her, charged, on, or off silent. This has led to me trying to call her at work or the store many times and hearing it ring on the counter where she left it. What if there was an emergency? What if I needed her? What if she needed me? How the fuck am I supposed to know if something is wrong? Maybe this post will knock some sense into her since she doesn't listen.

     On Wednesday of last week, I decided that I had had enough of it. I was going to text her until she answered her damn phone if my thumbs fell off because I sent too many texts.

2:36 pm
1) Somebody is at the door for you.
2) Come get her.
3) I don't want her here.
4) I am going to text until she is gone.
5) Run Momma run.
6) Still waiting.
7) Why aren't you here yet?
8) If your phone is on silent, I'm going to smack you.
9) The dogs don't like her.
10)They keep barking.
11) That is like ten texts without a response.
12) Don't make me text Shorty.
13) Because I will.
14) I don't hear her but you haven't replied so I don't know what's happening.
15) Why aren't you replying?
16) Surely you know your phone is going off by now.
17) You aren't asleep, are you?
18) You better not be.
19) That wouldn't be good for your job.
20) Or your back and neck.
21) I think we've reached twenty texts.
22) You better not be ignoring me.
23) I'll ask Shorty.
24) I texted Shorty.
25) But you probably lost your phone.
26) Or left it somewher.
27) **somewhere.
28) That's usually why you don't reply.
29) My thumbs are tired.
30) You really should reply.
31) That is thirty texts.
32) Good thing we have unlimited texting.
2:45 pm
33) I know your alive because SOMEBODY answered your work phone.
34) But you still haven't replied.
35) Neither has Shorty though.
36) You really should pay more attention to your phone.
37) Unless you're just sitting there and reading all these messages.
38) And laughing.
39) That sounds like you.
40) You have to come home eventually.
41) You might as well reply now.
42) I wonder how many texts that is.
43) 42.
44) Shorty replied.
45) You better hurry up and do the same.
46) Can you tell I'm bored?
47) Still no answer?
48) Come on, you're a fast reader.

     After forty-eight non-stop messages, she FINALLY replied with "roftlmao". That's not even the right abbreviation, folks. It's "roflmao". There is no T. That all too place between 2:36 and 3:00. I don't know other exact times because my phone doesn't tell me that.

     She never would have checked her phone if Shorty hadn't told her though.


  1. LOL That's a lot of text messages. Was someone really at the door? and that's ok. I e-mailed my mom saying "LMAO" and she responded with "Why do you want me to leave you alone?" LOL!!

    1. hahaha Yes, somebody was actually at the door. She was looking for my mom for something about work, I think.

  2. My father in law has a cell that only gets turned on when he needs to call or text out. Whenever you try to get a hold of him on it, you never can because it's off! What's the point of having a cell phone then?

    1. My point exactly! If you're gonna have a phone, you might as well make sure you use it!

  3. Lol, my mom is awesome with her cell! She answers but doesn't realize that she has. So she'll be looking at it and trying to figure out which is the button to push for receiving the call - and the whole time I'll be on the other end screaming at her to just put the phone to her ear... she's all "Now, I wonder how to answer this... which button do I push? This phone is so complicated!" lol

    1. LOL Oh gosh. My mom breaks her phones a lot so she goes through them like crazy. There have been a few times where she was like "RACHEL. I CANNOT ANSWER MY PHONE. HELP ME." xD

  4. This made me laugh. My inlaws NEVER turn on their cell phones. It drives my husband crazy.

    1. ahahaha I understand that feeling. I really don't understand the point of having a cell phone if you don't use it. It just seems like a waste of money to do that.