Sunday, October 14, 2012

My 19th Birthday

     Considering my birthday was September 22, this post is just a little bit late. But I had other stuff that was already written to post and stuff that came up, so I'm posting about it now.

     Sissi stayed up until midnight with me and freaked out, telling me happy birthday and that she loves me and misses me and stuff. Right after that, Wolfy texted and told me happy birthday and he called not long after that. Then Brother told me as well. I even woke up to find that I had a Tweet from Kianwi, telling me happy birthday and that she hoped I had fun.

     The actual celebration started off with Mom and I walking to her office. That's where she set everything up so I wouldn't see it and where my "Godmother" was waiting for us. On the way there, two of the neighborhood kids were there and told me happy birthday and thought I was turning seventeen, not nineteen. Then we walked into the and it had a bunch of orange and black Halloween balloons and "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" banners hanging up. It was a total Disney theme (the Halloween balloons could be Tim Burton's Nightmare Before Christmas)

     They sang happy birthday to me and Mom got me the first birthday cake I've had since the birthday after we moved here. It was an ice cream cake with The Lion King on it. All done without a single stencil. When I tried to cut it, it was so frozen from a layer of peanut butter, that I actually cut my finger with the dull side of the knife.

The lady seriously did all that by hand. How awesome is that?
     Momma bought spray glitter and that only resulted in a glitter fight, in which I won. I got the can away from her and sprayed her hair and ass (which is why she was called "Sparkle Butt" and "Glitter Ass" that day). I never actually got sprayed with it but I was still sparkly later.

     I got my presents from Momma while we were eating the cake and the mailman came in to tell me happy birthday, since he talks to Mom basically every day. Grandma texted to tell me happy birthday but promised to call later. After that, we didn't have anything else to do so we went back to the outdoor mall, but stopped at WalMart first.

     Momma told me to go pick out another movie for my birthday and the guy who works there that Mom is kind of friends (who I actually mentioned during the post of most simple surgery ever that literally almost killed me) with started asking about what we were up to and stuff. Then he told me happy birthday and said he hoped I had a good day and to not get into any trouble. He also told me not to go out drinking. Um, what? Some little old lady basically said the same thing, except didn't accuse me of causing trouble and stood up for me. I guess not all old people hate me?

     After that, Momma said she was hungry and that she wanted to go get some food at a restaurant in the outdoor mall. I was still full from the ice cream cake, but agreed anyways and we ended up in a sort of bowling alley/bar/restaurant. (Which, by the way, we went bowling two weeks ago and they fucking close over night and that actually makes me sad because I liked that place because it wasn't crowded and people were nice and what I'm about to tell you.)

     We didn't know where we were allowed to be so Momma asked the guy who worked there and he told us we could sit anywhere. After that, we ordered our food and water and the guy came back, looked Mom dead straight in the eye, and said, "I'm sorry, the rules have changed, you can sit here anymore." And she totally fell for it. After a full week of attempting to prank me, karma kicked her ass. I thanked the dude like five times. (He remembered us when we went bowling.)

     They were having a party so the food took forever to come out and Mom was like, "Hey, that's a mechanical bull." And somehow, that turned into us walking across the bar/restaurant/thing area and me attempting to get onto said mechanical bull. Considering it went up to my shoulders and I had nothing to climb on, I failed miserably. Honestly, considering I was stepping on huge metal poles under a tarp and we probably weren't supposed to be over there, that's probably a good thing.

     While we were eating, my dad sent me a text that said, "Happy birthday my beautiful daughter, I love you" and then he sent the exact same thing to me in a message on Facebook. Remember when I was super pissed about him telling my mom how I had to go to college the week before my birthday and that he would probably forget my birthday? Technically, he did remember it. Whether somebody reminded him or not, I don't know. What I do know is that he couldn't even pick up the phone to call his own kid for two minutes. What the hell kind of shit is that? Fuck that.

     Anyways, after that, we ended up riding the carousal there again. We really should get a lot more strange looks than we do. Either the people there are really polite (not likely since this weekend, when we discovered the bowling alley is closed, a bunch of girls around my age were giving me these "go die alone in a hole" glares under their 50 pounds of makeup) or they think one of us is mentally disabled (far more likely).

     Eventually, we ended up coming back to the park. I was driving the park and some guy (who will further be known as Friend In White Truck or FIWT for short because that's a lot to type) flagged us down because there was a huge accidental water leak. He was trying to take an old trailer down for his friend and busted the line open. The next two hours were spent dealing with this:

     I also made friends with the dog in the pictures. Has anyone heard of a "leopard dog"? Neither did I but apparently, that's what he is. Either way, he's mean and hates practically everyone but he tried to tackle me and kept trying to jump on me and lick me. It was pretty gross but also hilarious. He got off his chain and when I grabbed his collar (ninja reflexes!), I got a bunch of gross shit all over my hands.

     During the leak, we found out that the mentally disabled woman (she was hit by a car a long time ago and it was so bad, I'm not going to give details) who is also into many bad, illegal things now picked a fight with some people and got pretty beaten up. So we had to get the cops out there and make sure that she was taken care of as well. (She's totally fine now and when she's sober, she's like the sweetest person ever. She actually saved somebody's life the other day but that's a story for another time.)

     After we got home, Grandma did call me and told me happy birthday. I also found out that a couple people Mom works with told me happy birthday.

     This post should end here, but to end the whole dad thing, I have the ending story. I changed my Facebook status to basically say "Thanks to everyone who wished me a happy birthday, especially to all the jerks who forgot. If I can pick up a phone, why can't you?" That might be the direct quote; I don't remember. Anyways, he never said a word about it but Ashley, Mercedes, and a kind-of-ish friend apologized because they forgot/didn't know. Never heard from Sis (when I told her, she didn't even apologize, wtf), anyone else from actual family, not a single one of my other friends. Strange thing is, I don't even care, except that my dad couldn't pick up a damn phone.

P.S. I changed my relationship status on Facebook, right after my birthday. We had been keeping it a secret because my dad has his head so far up his ass that he'll need a special surgeon to remove it, but after doing that, I was like "He has no right to be pissed off if he doesn't even care about my birthday". But mostly, I just didn't want to hide it from anyone to begin with and I was looking for a good excuse that I can use against my dad if he starts shit up. "I don't like him!" "Well fuck you, you have no right to say anything if you can't even call me on my birthday." type of thing.

P.S. #2 Here's a video of all the presents I got. I recorded this at like 3 am one night/morning, so I'm sorry my brain died at a few points when there is complete silence and I forgot what I was going to say. I'm stupid when I'm tired.

P.S. #3 Despite my ranting and stuff, I really did have a good birthday. It's literally the best birthday since I can remember. Shit happens but I'm going to continue to focus on the good stuff about that birthday, rather than the negative.


  1. Sounds like quite the birthday. That's an amazing job on the cake for being hand drawn (nowadays they just print out an image using a printer). Also, I've never heard of the leopard dog so I had to google it. Apparently, its real name is "Catahoula Cur"... I'll stick to calling it the leopard dog.

    1. It was a pretty crazy day. I loved the cake so much and I still can't believe how amazingly well it was done. How would that even be pronounced? Leopard dog is much easier to say.

  2. she has some skill to do that by hand

  3. I'm glad the birthday ended up being great! It sounds like you packed a lot into the the day :)

    I'm sorry your dad let you down. Some people just don't know how to love people in the right way. It's saddest when they don't know how to show love to their own kids. You are amazing, and he is missing out on a wonderful girl!

    1. Your comment literally almost made me cry, but in a good way. I can't tell you how much it means to me or how happy it made me. I don't even have the words to try to tell you. haha

      It is sad that he doesn't know how to love anyone or how to show it. In a way, I feel bad for him, because he never had a chance to learn and he'll never know any better or what he's missing out on. It's better to feel bad for him and try to understand than be angry all the time.

  4. Sounds like you had a very full day. Happy birthday.

  5. It really was a very full day. I was pretty tired after all of that. Thank you.