Monday, January 14, 2013

Super Bowler (Also Titled: Yay, I Didn't Get Arrested!)

     I'm not even sure where to begin about Saturday. It was a pretty crazy day. It was a very long day. I barely got three hours of sleep Friday night. During those three hours, I slept on my shoulder wrong and made it even more sore than it already was. Then I had to get up because Mom and I were supposed to go do something fun before I had to go to work.

     Originally, we were going to go see Lincoln (Brother was too, actually, which we thought was funny since we didn't know until the night before) but she decided that she wanted to go bowling instead. Honestly, my shoulder already hurt so I don't know why I agreed. I even told her that I was going to regret it before we even got there. That didn't stop us from going.

     We went to the bowling alley we usually go to, but they were having a kid's birthday party. There were about thirty families (meaning one or two kids, plus one adult per 'family') for that one kid. They took up the entire parking lot. Mother fuckers, if you're all going to the same place like that, just car pool. We had to wait for somebody to leave to even park. When we got inside, there were so many kids that we were in line for five minutes and them some bratty teenage girls cut in front of us. We left.

     Momma still wanted to bowl so we went to a different bowling alley. We arrived just in time to see that it was league day. Or maybe a competition. I'm not really sure but there were a bunch of professionals there. Mom and I are possibly the worst bowlers ever. She's only ever gotten one strike and I've only ever broken 100 one time.

     Just in case you don't believe me, here is some proof from when we went to the other bowling alley a few weeks ago. We played two games that day.

     I was thirsty and we hadn't eaten so we went to get food first. The arcade was right next to the food window and as we were walking up, the air hockey puck hit me in the shoe. Some guy who was probably about fifteen and his dad were playing. They were both like, "SORRY!" and I thought it was kind of funny.

     After we ordered out food, that same hockey puck came back and hit me again. I knew they weren't doing it on purpose but I wanted to mess with them a little bit. I turned around and asked, "Are you trying to hit me?" The kid looked kind of terrified until I started laughing like the horrible person I am.

     While we were waiting for our food, Mom dared me to go challenge the kid to a game since he kept hitting me by accident. I agreed but before I realized it, he was back with his family and who had to be his extremely possessive girlfriend. She was in his lap before he even finished sitting down so I decided not to even try since she had this look on her face like she would claw somebody's eyes out for even saying hi.

     We got our food and everything without any real problems after that, but we weren't able to start the game without a problem. The problem was that Mom's boss called so I ended up getting super bored since she wasn't taking her turn. Then she did and broke the lane. The lady working fixed it. Then I broke the lane.

     Mom was still on the phone during the first three turns for both of us, so I watched other people since things were going so slow. One bowling ball caught my attention. It was orange and green. When it was rolled, it made a sort of spiral and I thought it was one of the coolest things I have ever seen. Since Mom was on the phone for so long instead of just saying, "Hey, this is my personal time and I'm with my daughter, bye", I decided to dare her to get a video of that bowling ball.

     We argued for a few minutes. She told me that I should since I was the one who wanted a video of the awesome spirally (ohmygosh that's a word?) ball. I told her she should and that she owed me. I eventually won but I didn't think that she would actually do it. She did it.

     His name will now be Super Bowler. He probably thinks that we're absolutely insane. I don't blame him. His friend (I guess? they were bowling together sooo...) told him that the video would probably end up on Youtube. Mom said, "Oh, no, she has a blog that it will be going in."

     I had a little notebook in my purse that I keep for work, as well as some pens, so we went back over to our lane and I wrote down the web address to give it to him. For those of you who actually follow my blog regularly, you probably know that I never tell anyone I actually know about the blog. At least, not outside of my closest friends and my boyfriend. Even my dad doesn't know, so that was a pretty big deal for me to do.

     I gave it to him and he said that he would check it out. I promised it would be up on Monday. So today is Monday and I'm hoping that he reads it. If you're reading this, Super Bowler, I just want to tell you that you are incredibly awesome for not calling security, the police, or the guys in white coats on us. You're also incredibly awesome for letting us take the videos and for letting me post this. Thank you.

     Super Bowler told Mom and I that we looked like we could be twins. He also guessed our ages. He said I look like I'm 21 so Momma was probably 38. Very close. I was impressed. I'm 19 and she's 39. She had to ask me her age because she's been lying about it so long. Super Bowler then told us that he was in his 60's, which shocked me. I thought he was in his 40's.

     We went back to our lane again to finish the game. Mom and I also got on Twitter around that time.

     We went home not long after that because I had to get ready to go to work and Momma had stuff to get done, like laundry. Work was okay. It was very busy. The runner who I always complain about (who has now been named by Mom- RWA or Runner With Attitude) had his usual attitude. He kept making me take out super heavy trays. The server who told me that my shirt was failing its duty (who still needs a name on here) had a super heavy tray go out.

     He saw me take it out of the kitchen and asked, "Is that mine?" and I checked the table number and he said yes. Then I asked, "Hey, do you want to follow me so that I don't drop this?" He agreed and I made it about four more feet before my shoulder started to give out from hurting so much.

     He grabbed it. I tried to catch it. Then he caught it and evened it out... and took it completely away from me. "I got it. I saw it start to go down. Go set up the trayjack and I'll pass it out." I did what he said and went back into the kitchen where an even heavier tray was waiting. RWA told me to take it out and I told him that I couldn't because I would drop it. He argued with me but eventually took it out himself.

     After work was when things got bad. Mr Fix-It was driving me home. He was going about 51 in a 45 zone and a cop pulled him over. He ended up on the corner of possibly the worst street in this city (which actually leads to the one I live on- awesome, huh?). This particular street is known for drugs, arrest, hookers, violent things, illegal things, etc. They typically stay over there its not too horrible. However, going to the store across the street is pretty bad because people typically accuse me of being a hooker, even if I'm wearing jeans and a baggy shirt. (The first time it happened, I was 12, but thats a story for another time.)

     The cop opened my door and shined the flashlight into my eyes, when temporarily blinded me. He asked for the whole license and insurance thing. Mr Fix-It didn't have his license and his insurance was at home, but I gave my learner's permit. Then they went to the cop car to talk.

     The entire time, all I could think was, "Holy shit this situation looks horrible. He's going to be deported for being a dumbass and never getting his papers to be legal here. And I'm going to be arrested for being a hooker. This just sucks. I will totally call the restaurant and have my boss talk to him so they can vouch for me. I don't even look like a hooker. I'm wearing two fucking shirts." I literally thought that and watched a hooker who's ass was falling of her skirt get picked up by a car that came out of no where.

     After what felt like forever, the cop came back and told me, "He doesn't have a license. You have the closest thing to one. Figure something out." Then he left. Mr Fix-It got three tickets (speeding, no license, no insurance) that total to about 800 something dollars. But I wasn't arrested for being a female on a street that hookers use for work and he wasn't arrested or deported. I thought we made it out okay. Then I got behind the wheel.

     I'm actually a very good driver. The only time I've ever almost wrecked was when Mom was panicking and blocked my view out the window, so I didn't see a truck. She panicked and swerved the wheel towards a light post and the truck ended up turning onto an entirely different street- it never turned our way. I've never even hit a curb... until Saturday night.

     I never drove a truck before. I never drove that insanely curvy road before. I almost never drive when its dark, especially not with sucky headlights. To top it all off, his truck is so sensitive that I pressed the gas that would normally take me up to 10 mph in Mom's car and it almost went over 20. The brakes barely worked and I had to slam on them for the slightest reaction. The steering wheel was so sensitive that I could move it ever so slightly and it would try to take me on a right angle turn.

     At one point, a little frog hopped in front of me. I hit the brakes but the truck didn't even so much as slow down. I'm hoping the little frog is okay. If not, I'm a horrible person because it was just a little frog who was probably going to go eat flies and have little frog babies with its little frog spouse.

     On the bright side, I only hit two curbs (.......and possibly a little frog). I didn't kill us and I didn't get pulled over even though my driving was so horrible it looked like I was having a seizure behind the wheel. I did have a panic attack and I'm a little scared to get back in the truck with him, but its okay. Everyone has since told me that the reason nobody ever drives the truck except him is because nobody actually can.

     Then, after telling Brother about everything that had happened with the cop, he decided to tell me the ending to Lincoln which he got to go see. Thanks dude. I appreciate it.

P.S. Sissi would like to thank all of you for the happy birthday wishes you left her in the comment section of my last post. She seemed pretty excited and happy about it, which was my goal, so thank you guys for that.

P.S. #2 I have moved my videos from my Youtube account to a new one. That one will be for personal use and this one will be for blog related usage. The videos are up on the right posts and everything, so it doesn't really affected the blog. However, if you want to subscribe to me on Youtube or anything, you can do so at this link. You can also use the name Rachel WhenALionSleeps or search videos with the tag WhenALionSleeps but those would be more difficult.

P.S. #3 Super Bowler, if you did actually check this post out, please comment so I know what you think. You can click the comment link at the end of the post, write your comment, and post it. If you don't have an account, you can select "Anonymous" from the comment as choice and then just let me know that you're Super Bowler. (I thought it would be best to explain since I've had several people tell me they have no idea what to do. haha)

P.S. #4 Brother and Sissi and other people who read the blog but don't have an account or something should do that too. Comments make me happy.


  1. Super Bowler sounds like a really cool guy. I dig the striped ball. Meanwhile, last time I bowled I broke 100, so I'm looking forward to taking the bowling world by storm.

    1. He was really awesome. I'm glad that I had the chance to meet him. You'll have to go kick bowling butt for all of those (me) who can't bowl.

    2. Mostly, I stick to Wii bowling. Sadly, I'm not kidding...

      Just to let you know, your flytrap post is up.

    3. It is!? I'm going to check it right now!

  2. I think my personal best was 159 or 160 something. Since I don't go much minus a hundred.

    1. That's a heck of a lot better than I've ever done. You'll have to give me some tips.

  3. Best line was your mom had to ask for her age.

  4. Aw, I was kind of hoping that I'd see a comment from super bowler. Maybe tomorrow! I love that you and your mom talk to each other over twitter.

    1. I was hoping that I would too. Maybe he'll post a comment later! If he does, I'll be sure to let you know.

      And thank you. haha. She's only had it for a while and I think she's having fun with it.

  5. Ugh, I hate bowling. I can normally only get through one game, and then I'm bored. It probably has a lot to do with the fact that I suck at it :)

    Super bowler was very nice to let your mom take the video, although I'm sure having to pretty ladies ask him wasn't such a hardship :)

    And I'm very glad you didn't get arrested for being a hooker, ha ha.

    1. I don't mind bowling that much. I'm horrible at it but its great to do when you're mad. Picture all of the pins as somebody you're mad at and the bowling ball as their head. Violent and creepy anger management. haha

      He was really nice. I can't believe that he was so cool with everything.

      And so am I! That really would have just sucked and NOT looked good on a background check. haha