Saturday, April 4, 2015

D is for Dumb Roommate

     Please note, if you are new to my blog or just stopping by for the A-Z that this post will contain curse words from here on out. As to most of my posts. You've been warned.

     Most of you know about my idiot roommate.

     I want to punch him in the face, but at the same time, he's so gross that I wouldn't make my poor hand go through that because ew.

     Well, dumbass is at it again.

     (By the way, his girlfriend dumped him about a week after I made the post saying that they wouldn't be together more than two or three weeks. I should have made a bet.)

     Anyways, dumbass is being a dumbass. I live in Arizona, the desert, where it gets really fucking hot during summer. Or, apparently, at the end of March. I'm prewriting this post on March 29 and the high today was 93 degrees outside.

     A couple weeks ago, Wolfy (that is my boyfriend, for you lovely new readers) turned the a/c on because it was getting so hot. Roommate turned it off. It was so hot in here that it was like being slapped in the face and being unable to breath, because the heat was just so stuffy. So Wolfy turned it back on and put up a note (which I can't find to take a picture of, oops).

     The note said not to shut off the a/c because it's too hot.

     Roommate bumped the temperature up all the way to 80 degrees so that it wouldn't kick on anymore.

     Somewhere during all of this, Roommate's Xbox One totally shitted out. Wolfy and I have a theory that since Roommate would have it on for hours at a time, with no air circulation, it just overheated. It's been about two weeks since it died and we've been enjoying the living room without the dumbass.

     It's been a constant war to keep the a/c at a nice temperature instead of being baked in our own apartment.

     Every day when I get home from work, it's been shut off and I have to turn it back on. I walk to and from work every day and it can be colder outside than it is in my apartment, to the point I start sweating as soon as I shut the front door.

     At first, I was irritated.

     Then I got angry.

     Today, he shut it off while I was in the shower, and it was 91 degrees outside.

     Now he's done pissed me off.

     I'm gonna need some chili powder and some ghost chili. He wants it to be hot? Fine, I'll show him what hot really is.


  1. Give that dude the boot, girl. Life is too short and too dang hot. A/C is directly from God, ha ha.

    1. We only have to last until the summer, because his name is on the lease. Once August comes, he's gone and I'm gonna have a party to celebrate.

  2. Does he have any reason or logic to it? If it's that he wants to be warm, I'm of the opinion that it's easier for him to put on a sweater than for you to create a jumpsuit made out of ice cubes.

    1. I'm under that same impression! I mean, I would happily help him make a bonfire to live in if that's what he really wants...

  3. You're far more patient than I. I would have smothered him with thick wool blankets until he drowned in his own sweat. Too much? Hey, drowned is a d word...

    1. Drowned, dead, done. All D words that are becoming more and more likely, every time he touches the a/c.

      The most recent update is that it shut the air off while I was cooking dinner at like 9:30 last night. So I took my time and was in and out of the kitchen until 11. Then I shut the internet off. He had food on the counter that entire time to cook but I was in his way.

  4. My dad lives in Arizona and I remember the following conversation: "Dad, I think your A/C isn't working right." He checks, "No, it's 80 in here, just where I set it."

    Visiting from AtoZ list.

    1. I'm sorry, but your dad is insane. Everyone in the mall flocks to our store in the summer, because for some reason, it's always cold no matter what the temperature is that we set it to. People have thanked me for keeping the air cool because everywhere else is "too damn hot".