In an attempt to get back into the swing of things and in trying to not let my most recent battle with depression/anxiety rule my life, I've decided to stick with my original plan on doing the A to Z Challenge again this year. And believe me, I was looking for every excuse not to. But if I do that, then it's something I know I enjoy that I'll just be giving up because my asshole brain is being a lying mcliarface asshole.
And I wanted to thank everyone who stopped by to show their support, almost all of whom came over because my bloggy mama asked them to. I'm trying my best to keep up with the comments (I will always reply, but sometimes it takes a little time because I haven't been getting email alerts for new comments) and I will be stopping by everyone's blogs to thank them again, but it's gonna take a little bit of time.
If you ever need advice, please look at the last post I used but scroll down to the comment section. Ignore everything I said and just look at everything that was suggested to me. I won't put it here because I'm trying to keep this pretty short and I can't include everyone, but please, go take a look at it.
Outside of that blog post's comments, some of the best advice I ever got was from my mom. She told me. "There are some things that you'll never get over. Not in a million years. You have to fight through it and allow yourself to feel and grieve and be angry. You're human." I actually have a plan to get part of that tattooed on my wrist, written in her handwriting.
My bloggy mama (linked above) Janie Junebug has also reminded me that when you come from an abusive background, the best thing that you can tell yourself is, "It's not me. He's crazy. He doesn't know love. He's crazy."
My best friend from Alabama told me, "Keep your head up princess or your crown will fall. And a prince(ss) never lets their crown fall." Because you should walk around with pride that you have made it to today and nothing should ever let you feel like you aren't royalty.
And countless people that I can't even begin to list have told me that when you feel like locking yourself away because you feel like nobody loves you or wants to help, the absolute best thing to do is reach out for help. Because there is always somebody who cares, even complete strangers. You are so loved and you have so much to offer the world. Please fight through this.
To anyone struggling, please speak out. I am not at all a trained professional and I don't even have my highschool diploma, but I'm willing to listen. My contact page is now updated so you should always be able to reach me.
But please, if you're feeling like you might hurt yourself or somebody else, I beg you to call the suicide hotline. Somebody there will be able to help you and give you resources to help yourself.