Friday, February 10, 2017

Meet Lucy

My now-former coworker, who shall remain nameless, has become one of my best friends in the last two years of her dealing with my bullshit. This story starts because I got a second (now my only) job right next door to the shoe store we both worked.

New Boss (well, current boss, this is getting confusing) likes to fuck with me. When he knew I was alone in the shoe store, he would go through the back corridor to the backdoor of the shoe store and ding dong ditch me. The bastard.

So I got the girls at the shoe store in on my revenge. We weren't allowed to use the back door for anything besides trash, but his door happened to be on the way back from taking out the trash. As it was my responsibility, you can imagine the ding dong ditching wars that we had.

Then I realized, I would be putting in my two weeks notice at the shoe store, and I would have to trade teams. (I ended up not quitting, but staying until the store closed).

One day at the new store, a coworker and I had to take out the trash for them. I knew my friend would be working at the shoe store and at that point, I was only supposed to have a week and a half left, so I had my new coworker run to the doorbell while I held open the door to our job and our escape.

We successfully ding dong ditched my friend and another girl from the shoe store!

The following day, I was working at the shoe store and took my break in the back with some Panda Express. My order always has fried rice- this is important later.

My friend came down the back aisle to where I was and said, "You're always saying this place is haunted. One day, you're gonna turn around and a doll is just gonna be standing behind you." I laughed her off and she went back up to the front.

As I finished my break, I had about 1/4 of my food left and headed up the back aisle. And this bitch jumped out at me and caused me to throw that damn bowl everywhere. Rice went flying and she went down laughing so hard she was crying, all pay back for ding dong ditching her the day before.

And thus, my plan was born.


I got my new coworkers in on it. The one who helped start this mess actually found the doll at a Salvation Army and picked her up for me, in exchange for me buying her a soda.

I got the girls at the shoe store in on it. Two helped come up with placement ideas; one painted her eyes and actually put her up there because she was the only one tall enough with the ladder.

We knew she would sit down in the black chair on break so all we had to do was wait.

I took my break. I mopped the back room and cleaned the bathroom. Nearly all of her customers asked for shoes on that aisle leading to her. And nothing, until she took her break.

I was ringing out a customer when she came out of the back, mouth full of food, saying, "Did you put-" and at that point I lost it and she said, "You fucking did!"

Now? Why is the doll named Lucy?

It's short for Lucifer!

However, ironically, that is also her mom's nickname. Lucy, I mean, not Lucifer.

Lucy now has a happy home with the girl who painted her eyes and is being used to terrorize the girl's dog. 

But I'm still waiting for the day my friend gets revenge...


  1. That's hilarious. What an awful doll.


    1. Thank you! We love her.

      Except the girl we pranked. She doesn't love her.

      Oh my God. She doesn't love Lucy lmfao.