Sunday, September 30, 2012

Anti-Bulllying Week Reminder

     I know this is still early, but I thought I would write a quick post to remind everyone about Anti-Bullying Week this year. It takes place in November from the 19th to the 23rd so mark your calendars. Somebody has agreed to post the link to this post on Twitter for their followers, to help tell people about this, so I'm going to explain what I'll be doing and what I'm inviting everyone else to do. If you want to post this for your own followers, I can't tell you how much I would appreciate it.

     It's pretty obvious that bullying is bad, but most people don't even realize just how bad it is. Maybe it's because they're not in that situation themselves. Maybe it's because they work so hard to ignore it and forget because it's so horrible. I don't know. What I do know, is that being bullied is hell and that it has to stop... And that that entire paragraph sounds like an advertisement for something. I guess it is.

     I'm inviting all of my followers to write a post about it. Even something simple like "Bullying is bad. Don't do it." can help somebody out. If you aren't a follower of mine (which you totally should be since I have a kickass blog, just saying) then I still want to invite you to speak out.

     Sunday of that week, I'll be writing a final reminder that it's time to start posting.

     Monday of that week, I'll be writing about the statistics and various other facts.

     Tuesday of that week, I'll be writing about different types of bullying.

     Wednesday of that week, I'll be writing about how it can literally affect anyone.

     Thursday of that week, I'll tell part one of my story.

     Friday of that week, I'll tell the second part of my story.

     Saturday of that week, I'm going to make a list of every post that has participated in this.

     Since I can't give everyone a hug and a puppy as a thank you for taking some of your time to help, I'm also going to make a new page where everyone who participates will have the post and their blog linked to. Please, keep in mind that I probably won't know if you posted unless you tell me. You can do that by emailing me at or Tweeting me @WhenALionSleeps. Any link left in the comments section will be deleted.

     I'm not asking for a huge big deal and a post every day. I'm just asking that you take ten minutes, one day during that week, to say something about why bullying is bad... or even just saying that it's bad. It's really all about letting people know that it is a problem and it can't be ignored.

**Due to news stories talking about people going overboard, trying to stop bulling, I feel the need to put a disclaimer here. I do NOT encourage, endorse, or support anyone doing anything illegal, harmful, criminal, violent, or dangerous activity. This is about stopping people from being hurt. This is NOT about hurting anyone in any way, shape, or form. Any links involving anyone going over the top and handling things inappropriately will not be posted on my blog, Twitter, or anywhere else by myself. If I find a link that involves anything inappropriate, I will delete it, and if possible, I will report it.**

Thursday, September 27, 2012

How Were We Not Kicked Out?

     I was supposed to do this post like two weeks ago and then shit happened so the post didn't. Also, I'm sorry for not posting at all Monday, but I was stuck in bed and unable to think. I was stupider than I was in the video.

     I can't tell you how many times I've asked myself that, when Momma and I go somewhere. The only theory I have, is that people are just too scared of us to do anything. Well, that, or we're pretty damn good entertainment for people who have nothing else to do but stand by and watch us.

     Saturday before last, Momma had to drive to a town about 25 minutes away so she could pick up her mileage check for all of the work errands (which is pretty ironic, if you ask me). So, I decided to go with her, even though I only got three hours of sleep (which is starting to become pretty common when we go somewhere) and I was super excited because Momma promised it would be cool enough outside for me to wear my new boots, even though it's only the middle of September.

Aren't they beautiful?
     Once we got to where we needed to go, I discovered that for somebody who never wears heels (because I fall on my ass enough when I'm not even wearing shoes), I was actually pretty awesome at wearing the boots. Unfortunately, I ended up standing in the other office for about half an hour. Just standing. That's all I got to do. Anyone who has ever worn new heeled shoes, after never wearing heels, will understand that I felt like I walked on broken glass.

     Also, while I was just standing there, this guy who likes to hang out in there (who I've met maybe three times, before Saturday) decided to launch onto the most random topic ever. He started telling me how bad it is to meet people on the internet and something about his son and carrying around a large knife. I don't know; I got bored and zoned out.

     I'm all for internet safety and all that shit (I mean, I don't give out pictures or names for a reason), but dude doesn't know me. He doesn't know I have a blog. He doesn't know that I even talk to strangers on the internet. I mean, I know there are bad people out there, but hell, bad people live in the neighborhood and I still have to deal with them too.

     Not only was all of that going on, but everyone in the room except for some 3 year old little boy and myself, felt the need to smoke a cigarette at the exact same time. I felt like I was in a burning building only the smoke was grosser. (Hey Mom, here's a subtle hint: Stop it.)

     So after half an hour, we finally got to leave and headed back to our city. We had nothing else to do and I didn't spend fifteen minutes doing my make-up (hey, give me some credit, that's not a lot of time for all the make-up I wear) just to go home and do nothing. That was how we ended up at the big outdoor mall again.

     Sissi was confused about that, so let me explain. The outdoor mall is this huge outdoor area, with huge stores everywhere. There are restaurants, stores, some of the biggest hotels in the city, a boat rental place for the river/pond around the area, and a huge carousal (which, of course, we rode... sorry, the video's star is me... to be more specific, my ear and neck because I have no aim apparently).

     I changed shoes in the car, so I would be able to walk, and then we had to walk across the entire parking lot. During which I realized, "Wow, it's really hot out here." Thanks to Momma, I was wearing skinny jeans and my hair was down. When it was so hot, I should have been wearing a tank top, shorts, and my hair up so that I wouldn't melt or sweat to death. (Thanks, Momma. I still appreciate it taking ten minutes to take my jeans off when we got home because I was that gross by then.)

     When we got to one of the openings to the mall, we came across a sign. I don't remember seeing it last time we were there, when we ran into Mom's old stalker. I'm almost certain they made it just for us.

Number 3 should have gotten us kicked out right away.
My dad wouldn't be allowed in at all.
     We walked around the outskirts of the mall, since we had never been around there before, and I started looking for something that would be good blog material because I really didn't have anything to post  because we always make a scene worth writing about  because I was hyper and dumb  because I was thinking about what would make ya'll laugh.

     That resulted in me Tweeting a few pictures... but there was a woman in a truck watching me the entire time. Like, she wasn't just watching me. But she was full blown staring at me like she was trying to stare into my soul or something. It was really creepy... I really should have waved at her but I was too busy sweating half to death.

Originally, I wanted a picture of the pretty rock thing they had.
But now I think it's funny that they're so rich they hire people to clean rocks.

He missed a spot.

And a few ant hills.
Last time I checked, nobody likes ant hills except ant eaters.

That is a small part (like three or four stores) of the outdoor mall.
We were on the other side of the pond.

The water fountain didn't work.
It made me sad because I was thirsty.

Those... Those are random donuts.
      I had a video but I lost it. I was following the ducks in the video. I was not chasing them. Please keep in mind, that I'm stupid when I'm exhausted and running on caffeine. And also, Momma is the one who provided me with caffeine and let me be stupid. So yeah, let's blame her. I can't possibly be responsible for myself on three hours sleep and expect things to turn out not stupid.

     Anyways, there was a second video, but it involved Momma doing on of her impressions and any rednecks/hillbillies who happen to find this post would probably be offended... so no. But a random chick was totally watching us and staring so I took a video and I was like "HI RANDOM CHICK" and then she ran away. Oops.

     We ended up at the carousal and Momma was like "Hey, let's ride the carousal!" and so we did. I accidentally said "fricken'" in front of a bunch of little kids and was proud that at least I didn't say "fucking" because their parents looked kind of mean. And there were a lot of them. And security was near by. And it was against the mall policy to curse.

     It was mostly a video of just us babbling and my ear because my mom thought I should take a video of myself instead of holding the camera. Also, guys, that carousal went a hell of a lot faster than I remembered. I was the only one not wearing a belt around my waist and I nearly fell off when it started to go. That probably explains the belts that were big enough for an adult and small children.

     After that, I was still sweating to death so we went to go get food. Since we didn't want to go back to the same place Stalker Face was before and we couldn't find any restaurants on that side of the mall, we had to walk all the way back to the first side. I mean, we would have had to anyways, since we had to get to the car, but it felt like the longest walk ever since I was slowly dying of thirst. (Mom, please remember this guilt trip the next time you give me a weather forecast.)

     We found a map and walked all the way back, but only got until like twenty feet away from the restaurant. Then two random people approached me and made us stop to talk. I don't typically mind random people saying hi. But they wanted a full blown conversation and they were keeping me away from water and A/C.

Random Person: Hi!
Me: Um... Hi?
Person: Are you a teen driver?
Me: Um... Technically?
Person: How old are you?
Me: 18?
Person: Great! We're from Statefarm! We're celebrating teen drivers! Would you like to have some pizza and drinks?
Me: Okay!
Person: Okay, go right that way!
-ten seconds later after following her directions-
Me: I don't see water. Let's go.

     After we ate, we got in the car and drove to the store and then went home. Then I changed into comfy pants and passed out on the couch because I was fucking exhausted and the caffeine wore off.

P.S. That is a pretty sucky ending. Sorry.

P.S. #2 Just for the record, I actually had like four glasses of water in the restaurant.

P.S. #3 The ending line in the video is kind of our motto. "I think we made them mad. We should leave."

P.S. #4 I'll let you know if "Do not follow the ducks" is added to the list

Thursday, September 20, 2012


     The titles is in all caps, because I AM FUCKING EXCITED, OKAY? Kianwi from Simply She Goes (who most of you know, because she is awesome) gave me something that I just picked up at UPS yesterday and I have been excited to write about and show off, because despite what she says, IT IS AWESOME AND PRETTY.

     It actually all started months ago, when I held a contest because my mom wanted to name the car. There were only a few suggestions, but they were actually really awesome. To be fair, I wrote everyone's name down on little pieces of paper and made a video of my mom pulling the winner's name from my fucking awesome cowgirl hat that I got last Christmas. Honestly, I had a feeling Kianwi was going to win, because I planned to say the winner's name, and I have no idea how to pronounce that. You can read the actual post here.

     Then, a couple of weeks ago, she announced that she had taken a pottery class and made three (what she calls ugly) ceramic pots, but she would be giving one of them away to a winner, who's name would be randomly drawn. I always comment on her posts, but I was especially excited to comment on this one, because they're pretty and I wanted one. You can read that post here (and my comment- it's the very first one).

     About a week later, her dog decided on the two winners. There are two videos of her dog picking two names and guess what? Mine was the very first one. How fucking cool is that? I was ridiculously excited and may or may not have screamed. You can read that post (and watch the videos) here.

     You'd think it would end there, but it doesn't.

     After emailing her and double checking to make sure that I wasn't emailing some random stranger, I gave her all of my contact info. To be more exact, I gave her my mom's office contact info. Why? Because all of the mail goes through there anyways, since it's literally in the backyard (or we're in the office's back yard- we're in a giant circle so it depends on how you look at it, I guess). I had a feeling she would be using UPS and when they don't deliver at the office, The Big Dog (who weighs upwards of 115 pounds) scares them away. I've never had a problem with that before, so I didn't think there would be one this time.


     After sending it, she said that she had tracked it's progress and was now in my city, but it could not be delivered because of an invalid lot number or whatever the official phrase is. I explained everything and can't tell you how badly I felt because I had managed to cause trouble for her when that was exactly what I was trying to avoid. So she gave me the tracking number and told me that I would have to call them to straighten it out and gave me the number.

     Since I can't hear the automated machines (maybe because of my hearing loss?), I texted the tracking number to Mom's phone and asked her to call. They said it was an invalid tracking number but I checked it and it matched what was on the email. I emailed Kianwi back (last Thursday) and explained that we would just go to UPS the following day (last Friday) and pick it up since all I would have to do would be to show my ID.

     You'd still think it would end there, wouldn't you? It doesn't.

     On Friday, Mom didn't get out of work until it was too late, because it's too far away. I live in a really big city and UPS is literally on the whole other side of it. I thought it was closer, but I never actually knew where it was. Which is ironic because I used to drive right passed it at least four times a month (I used to have a friend who lived in the town that's on the border of our's- she's closer to UPS than we are- and I would spend literally every other weekend at her house). One would think I would have noticed it.

     They were closed all weekend, which sucked, since we had plenty of time on Saturday and were actually very bored... which resulted in us causing trouble at the outdoor mall. (I will eventually post about that.) So our new plan was to go Monday.

     It rained so hard on Monday, that we couldn't see to go anywhere. We actually had more rain than with any hurricane that has hit our area. We have a few leaks in our house and we used literally all of the towels trying to sop up the water. I was using the hairdryer to try to dry them off since we couldn't exactly get to the laundry mat in that kind of weather. (Just so you know, if a room in your house is cold, you can turn on a hairdryer and it will warm it up fast.)

     Tuesday, we had another fucking storm and we were still so flooded, that we had no chance to go anywhere unless we either wanted to swim (it's a bit too far for that and I don't have a bathing suit anymore anyways) or take a boat (it's hard to get to a boat rental place when you're surrounded by water and boatless).

     But finally, Wednesday came, and we were able to get to UPS. Ironically, it was also the last day that they were willing to hold the package before they would have to send it back. We drove all the way there and went inside. I had to show my ID. We had to explain The Big Dog three times before the lady agreed that I am who I say I am. Either that or she thought we were crazy and wanted us to leave.

     There was a lady next to us, who was trying to mail some herbs and I was probably the only one in the room who had a delayed reaction of turning to stare at her. It took me at least two full minutes before I realized that they all assumed that she was trying to mail a... different type of pot. It took me until today to see the hilarity and irony in it.

     After going a few other places (including Mom dragging me all around WalMart and telling me "Pick a bag", "Pick a tag", "Pick tissue paper", "Pick stickers", "Pick a giant candy bar", "Pick movies", for my birthday- it was weird- then she yelled at me that I "don't know shit and get nothing until my actual birthday") we finally got home and I was able to open my package.

     I went next door to take pictures, because that's where it will be staying since it will be better protected from animals over there. Not only that, but there isn't a place to put anything over here, because I have too much shit already.

Enough bubble wrap for hours of entertainment!


It's lopsidedness makes it even cuter!

An unexpected surprise.

An incredibly sweet note that made me smile.
I erased her very unique name though.
Also, I have no idea why it's sideways and I can't fix it.
     Kianwi, I just wanted to apologize for all of the trouble I caused again. I know you said you weren't worried about it, but I really didn't mean to make things so difficult. Also, thank you so much for the pretty pot. I love it and since I won't be having house guests, this is my first attempt at showing it off.

P.S. I was right. It is going to be incredibly fun saying "I got it from a stranger on the internet who named my mom's car because her dog picked my name." because that is so not the answer anyone would expect.

P.S. #2 I kind of want to name it. Is that weird?

P.S. #3 Totally irrelevant, but Momma told me the cutest little kid story ever about herself last night, that Grandma told her. She forbade me from putting it on Facebook so I'm putting it on the blog!
On her first day of preschool when she was four, Grandma sent her to school in a short dress. After school, Grandma asked her how her day was. So Momma crossed her arms and pouted and said "DEM BOIZ WERE BUTHERING ME!"

P.S. #4 No, really, I want to name it. Maybe there will be another contest in the near future.

P.S. #5 Kianwi's name is actually one of my favorite names.

Monday, September 17, 2012

I'm Angry

     Around two this morning, I started writing up a post about how I spent the weekend, but I only got some of it done before my brain was just like "lol no more thinking for you" and I couldn't finish it. I was planning on finishing it today, but the rain knocked my internet out on my laptop. But before I could get it working again, something happened that pissed me the fuck off.

     This is where I'm going to say that you should just skip this post and read about when I "married" Sissi in my second ever post or when I almost died at the orthodontist a few months ago. I won't mind (especially if you leave a comment). I just need to vent right now.

     I know I haven't actually graduated from my online highschool yet, but that's not actually something my dad knows. He's the type of person who would do everything to cause trouble and even when I told him that I hated public school, he just didn't care. He didn't care that I was being bullied and that I couldn't go to school without getting stress stomachaches that put me in the emergency room many times. So, I left without telling him and he thinks I graduated public school at the end of the last school year, when I'm actually in the online school.

     For the past year, his side of the family has been on my case nonstop about going to college. They have never cared before. My dad has two trucks (with GPS, DVD players, huge speakers with an expensive radio, etc), a boat, a motorcycle, a three bedroom house, and a motherfucking horse. My point? He never had any sort of college fund for me. Ever.

     Actually, nobody in my entire family has ever had a college fund for me except Grandma (my mom's mom). It had $300 in it, until she had to add to her collection of clothes (a closet the size of a small bedroom, three other closets, and boxes in the attic) when she started a new job last year.

     I'm not going to just go to college when I want to do something that doesn't require a degree and I would have no possible way to pay back the loans. I would put myself into debt for no reason, when I had a job when I told them I wasn't going and when I'm about to have a new job (seriously, I go to the restaurant in like a week).

     Here's the thing, I never said I would never go to college. I told everyone that I'll go for part time and/or online classes when I can afford it and when I have time. I told them what I would be going for but that I just can't right now. Even if I had the money (you know, if somebody cared enough to even give me a college fund), I wouldn't have the time or the ability to cope with that kind of stress. There are other things that I need to focus on, instead of a degree that I don't need.

     And yet, everything that my dad's side of the family can focus on is that I'm not going.

     Phone call to say hi? Why am I not going to college? Card for 'graduation'? Lecture about why I should go. I call them to say I got the card and thank them? More lecturing about why I should go, that they're sorry for lecturing, but I should go to college to make my father happy.

     I'm not even fucking kidding. Memaw (dad's mom) literally told me that I should go to college to make my dad happy and that I could never open or run a daycare without a college degree because apparently, I know nothing about kids (even after babysitting my cousins [including two of the three with muscular dystrophy who needed special care] when I was 11 and starting legit babysitting jobs when I was 15).

      When I was six, I wanted to be a teacher. That was almost thirteen years ago. Around that same time, I wanted to be a vet. Guess what? Those are the only things they remember me ever wanting to be. Nothing about my love for music or writing or photography. Nothing about the daycare I talk about wanting to open, all the fucking time.

     After the lectures about not going to college, it's always "But you would be such a good teacher!" When I say I couldn't deal with stress 20+ kids in one room without help, they're just like "But you get training for that!" Um, what the fuck? You don't get training for the stress. You get training to make sure you can do basic first aid and teach them correctly. There is nothing about stress in that.

     This all started, again, this afternoon. My dad texted my mom out of no where, asking why I hadn't checked my email. Then he started going on and on about how he never wanted me to have to worry about money like he does. He doesn't worry about it; he spends it. Everyone who knows him will agree. He was basically ordering my mom to tell me to check out this super long list of scholarship sites because he wants me to go to college because it will make him happy.

     Momma kept telling him that I'm an adult so it's my choice and she's not going to tell me what to do. I understand the whole "wanting what's best for your kid" thing but he doesn't want what's best for me. That's just a line he's using because he wants me to do what he wants because he wants to make sure I'll have enough money to take care of him when he's old and sick from smoking and drinking only alcohol or caffeine and never doing anything healthy.

     Where's the part of encouraging me to do what will make me happy with my life? Where's the part of offering support and telling me to do what I want to do with my life? Where's the support for trying to make sure I have a job for the past three years? I have never gotten any of that from him or his side of the family.

     All I get is lectures and them telling me what to do and trying to control me. I can't remember one time when they ever supported anything I've ever done. Even though Grandma and Grandpa don't exactly agree and they still want me to go to college, they said they're proud that I have a job. They ask me how things are going and ask if  I still enjoy it. They actually show support even if they don't like it and aren't great at hiding it. At least they're trying.

     I'm about to be nineteen and I've been more adult than kid even when I was twelve. (You can ask Mom, I'm not kidding.) I've been making my own choices for as long as I can remember and I've always done what I thought was best- most of the time I'm right. Even if I'm not, it's my life and I deserve some mother fucking respect and support from my own fucking family.

     And to end this, all I'm going to say, is that if my dad forgets my birthday like we're all certain he did, I'm fucking done with this bullshit. I'll call him out on Facebook and I'm going to stand up to him and I'm going to make sure that he and his family know the hell they're putting me through.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

I'm Going To Regret This Post

     I don't know why, but old people really hate me. I don't see any sweet little old people grandparent types. I see the "GET OFF MY LAWN YOU SPOILED BRAT. I'LL SIC MY DOGS ON YOU AND BEAT YOU WITH MY CANE." types. Or the creepers. Sometimes they seem like a combination. Honestly, I try to be nice to all of the old people, but for some reason they just don't like me.

     Momma and I went to a Sams on Sunday. We haven't been to one since I was about seven and accidentally ate something with spinach, which resulted in a pretty nasty break out since I'm allergic to it (we didn't blame them, we just didn't really buy stuff there anyways). But we decided to go anyways because it was on the way home and we had basically nothing else to do.

     The first thing I noticed when we drove up were all of the old people. There were canes, walkers, gray hair, and wrinkles everywhere. So, I was like, "HOLY CRAP. THERE ARE SO MANY OLD PEOPLE. WHY? THEY HATE ME." because I didn't want somebody to threaten to punch me or try to run me over with their car again.

     Then I realized why. "Oh. That makes sense. There's a hearing aid center here." Then Mom started laughing and shaking her head and said, "Rachel, you're terrible."

     Um, what? I'm terrible for making an observation? I'm not the one who's always making completely irrelevant and messed up comments that I won't even repeat. So, I did what anybody would do. I texted Sissi to make sure that I'm not the terrible one in my family.

Sissi: Thats like saying why are there so many puppies. Oh. Its a pet shop.
Rachel: hahahahahahahahahaha I love you xD
Sissi: I love you too lol xD

     This is the point in the conversation where I read everything to Momma to prove my point. I mean, I'm not terrible. But what I'm about to tell you is. Sissi is my witness that this happened. This is where I really prove my point by what Momma said.

Rachel: My mom
Rachel: Omg
Rachel: I read her this
Rachel: And she added
Rachel: "Why are there so many whips and chains in this porn store?"
Rachel: And
Rachel: "Whats with all the condoms in the basket? Oh? Planned Parenthood?"
Sissi: O M G she da bess

      Sissi and I were having an innocent conversation with puppies and flowers and nail polish and BAM, Momma made it terrible. I know it's probably not going to help deter the people looking for perverted things on my blog, but I had to share this, even though I'll probably regret it later. Why? Because I just made my fucking point.

Monday, September 10, 2012

Threes A Charm

     Okay, before I get to the main part of the post, I'm just adding a couple things real quick. Today is Suicide Awareness Day (world wide) and this week is Suicide Awareness Week. To help show your support, you can wear orange or click the link to find out what else you can do.

     Also, I'm still randomly editing the blog layout a little bit at a time. Last night, I moved the list of blogs I follow and read from the side panel to it's own page. I have a really long list of blogs to check out, so whenever I get around to them, they'll be added at the bottom. If you check out the page and don't like the description or what a different credit, you can comment, use my Twitter (@whenalionsleeps), or even send me an email (

     Now, onto the fun stuff. Kianwi from Simply She Goes has given me my THIRD award (the second award she's given me, actually).

     The Laine Blogger Award is apparently a beauty blogger award? I'm not a beauty blogger (I probably say "fuck" too much to be one if I tried haha) but I'm going to accept it anyway because it makes me happy and smiley and OMG I GOT A THIRD AWARD!!! THANK YOU KIANWI!!!

     As with every award (that I know of) there are some rules to accept it. So far, they're the most simple and easiest to follow that I've seen. Mostly because it's not asking me to list random facts about myself, like my first award and my second award.

1) Answer the questions (the ones I answer).
2) Pass the award on to five other bloggers.

     Pretty simple, right? Well, it would be, except that I don't know five people to give the award to (since most people I follow don't do the award thing or Kianwi already gave it to them!). So, here's what I'm going to do (by totally breaking the rules, but so did she by giving it to more than five people!):

     If you follow my blog, wished Brother, Wolfy, or Momma a happy birthday, and have a blog, you just got yourself an award. Don't remember? Click their names to go to their respective birthday posts and find out if you got the award. Commented twice? You get the award double. Commented three times? You get the award triple.

     Congrats to all of the winners, which I am too lazy to make a list of (you can tell me in the comment section if you won or not), but now it's time for the questions.

1) What is your current beauty obsession?

     I would have to say the Dove products. I recently bought the (intensive care) shampoo, conditioner, and deep conditioner and I love it so much. It's really helping my poor, tortured hair out. Yesterday, I got some of their (deep moisturizing) soap and (creamy oil) lotion, and I've only used those once each but I absolutely love them. I have a difficult time finding the right products because my skin is so dry (psoriasis) and my hair is so damaged (everything has been done to it) but I love it so much.

2) What is one beauty product you wish you owned?

     I basically have what I want for beauty products, though there is something else that I love. It's a type of eyeshadow called Warpaint Beauty that I bought at Hot Topic because it was pretty and on sale. Sadly, they're mostly selling it online now, so it's going to be a pain in the ass to buy more.

Hey, I have a birthday coming up at in like two weeks.
Anybody want to buy me a present?
I like this tan, light browns, soft blues, and light grays.
Bonus picture of all the shit I put on my face when I go places.
Well, the lipgloss is only when my hair is up.
That eyeshadow on top is good, but I want to replace it with the Warpaint Beauty eyeshadows.
Also, one of those eyeliners is dark blue and the other is black (it depends on the day which one I wear).

3) What is your favorite topic to read about?

     Um... In general or...? For beauty stuff, I like to learn new tricks on how to do things (especially curling hair since I can't do that at all) but I don't read that much beauty stuff. In general, I want something that can make me laugh.

4) What inspired you to become a blogger?

     Well, I always liked writing and I've always been told that I should write a book about all the crazy stuff that happens but honestly, I don't remember most of it the next day. I've had journals and stuff that I've written stuff in but I always lose it or I'm scared somebody is going to read it. So far I haven't found a way to misplace my blog and by putting it out in the open, I'm forcing myself not to care what somebody thinks, even though I'm not giving away most of my secrets either. Also, Allie Brosh from Hyperbole and a Half is fucking hilarious and made me want to make people laugh as hard as I did when I read her posts (probably not possible, but whatever, at least I'm trying).

5) What nail polish are you wearing now?

My fingers don't have any polish, but these are my toes.
I apologize for my ugly, red toes on a beauty award post but I had been walking all day and wanted to take the picture so I could just sit down.
Also, I do my own nails. No time or money for manicures or pedicures. (And I don't like people touching my feet. It makes me twitchy.)

The silver is called "Pure Ice" and the color is "Silver Mercedes".
The black is called "Art Decal" and is just... black?
The clear is from Sally Hanson and is just clear?
     Well, you know what to do to find out if you're a winner too. And Kiawni, thank you soooo much for this award. I really can't believe I've gotten my third award and two from the same person. I really means a lot.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

He Has Another Post

     On a normal Thursday, this post would be all about me and whatever stupid shit that happens to me or that I've found. But today is a special Thursday. Today is my boyfriend's 26th birthday. That means he gets another post all to himself because he's special and awesome like that.

     Honestly, this post was a pain in the ass to come up with. I had no idea where to start and nothing seemed good enough. It was over done or dumb or just not good at all. So, I asked a couple people if they had ideas that would be really awesome and would be good enough to celebrate that Wolfie is getting old(er). The only answer I got was, "Do something really sweet and romantic!"

     Let's stop and think about that. When was the like time I was sweet? Have I ever done anything romantic? I mean, really people? Do you even know me? He's the really sweet, romantic one. I talk about him enough, ya'll should know this. (If you didn't: Wolfie is the really sweet romantic one.)

     This is my best try at being romantic:

You would be surprised how many pictures there are of heart shaped bacon.
     I know, it's kind of sad. But that's one of the things that's so great. We balance each other out so we aren't those overly-cheesy couples you see on Facebook (Wolfie will really know what I mean since we're discussing it as I type this). What I lack in the ability to be sweet and romantic, he makes up for. But he's also as much of a smartass (and as awesome) as I am (which, honestly, is rare to come by... the smartass part; I'm not going to be that arrogant about being awesome on here).

    So, I think I'll just cut to the chase and be serious, since I don't really have that many jokes or puns that are birthday-friendly and since a certain awesome smartass birthday boy is texting me right now and distracting me from focusing on this post because he wants to talk on the phone.

    You thanked me for always being there for you on Facebook, but I never thanked you for the same thing. You're one of the few people who can actually make me smile and laugh and feel happy when that's the exact opposite of what I was feeling. You've always been there for me, probably more than I have been for you (remember when Pawpaw was in the hospital and I needed somebody to talk to and you didn't really know me but listened anyways? or all the times something has irritated me so you let me rant and curse until I feel better? or when I get bad news and just want to cry?). You always put me first and try to take care of me before yourself. So, thank you for always being there. I'm really lucky to have you.

     I love you. Happy birthday.

P.S. I will also make you bacon whenever I make you pancakes.

P.S. #2 I called him before posting this to tell him happy birthday. So we get off the phone and he  automatically sends me a text, "Thank you sweetie. I can always count on you to make me smile." I really wasn't kidding about him being the sweet, romantic one.

Monday, September 3, 2012

Enjoy These Pictures While I Try Not To Pass Out

     Yeah, it's another one of those posts where I upload a shitton of pictures of random things and pretend like it's a high quality, well written, hilarious post that you guys absolutely love. Why? Because I see a lot of random things. And also, because I spent all of yesterday sick with headaches and nausea, while having panic attacks over the storms I have a phobia of (complete with tornado watches and warnings) and didn't fall asleep until somewhere around five in the morning and woke up like every hour until I got up at 10:30 ish. So I'm totally running on caffeine and probably going to crash any moment. Please enjoy these pictures while I hope to upload them before I fall asleep for the next two days.

Momma found this in the vet's office.

The Stud Dog likes to pee on everything when I leave, so we got some of that spray stuff that will draw him to the puppy pads.
It's a sad day, when there's a "Common Sense Caution" on the bottle.
Also, the first thing he did when he sniffed the spray was run to Mom's bed and pee on it.

Thanks for telling us... I'm guessing they're the type of person where every Facebook status is about how in love they are?

Taken in WalMart (while scaring a few people).
Please note the "Breakfast" sign over the smores supplies.

Mom drank hot tea.

And burned the shit out of her tongue.

I got an itty bitty little coffee pot so I can make tea (without melting plastic cups in the microwave).
And it is fucking tiny and cute!

That is a man.

He is playing guitar.

While walking down the highway.

I wouldn't believe it without pictures.

I actually don't know shit about them... but it made me laugh and think of Jenna Marbles (who is fucking hilarious).

Hey Sissi! This one is for you!
Even though we'll probably never go to a bar, but it applies to other places too.

"SCOT 1"
How do you know you're number one? Are you really really old to be the first person ever named Scot?

Mom loves it.

New shirt Momma got me. Entirely true.

This is a sign from my insane neighbor.
We aren't sure if he's trying to sell is trailer or trashcan.. but either way, it's for 100, 000. 00 bucks.
I had to get rid of the phone number to the phone that he doesn't even have.
     Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to lay down now.