Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Happy Halloween: Part Two

     I already posted part one and you can find that post here. As I said in the last post, Momma and I thought it would be fun to go to supposedly haunted places and take pictures/videos. We're not saying ghosts exist and we're not saying they don't. That is for you to decide. We only went because Halloween is coming up and we had nothing else to do.

     Like last time, I'm going to give you the history of the places that we went to now.

The Playground:
     All I could find was that a nine year old little boy died in the park on a summer day, from an accidental fall, so the park was dedicated to him. People say that you can specifically hear him in the forest around the park but he's never been seen. We couldn't go over there because of all the wasps.

     In the video, it's basically Mom and I goofing off. For the record, when I was on the monkey bars, I had already been hanging from them before she took the video and kind of swinging back and forth. I must have grabbed them the wrong way during the video because they tore up my hands (the left one so bad, blood was almost drawn) as you can see by the second picture of hands (the first was Mom's).

     The parking lot is technically kind of part of the park. Mostly, we thought it was weird that they have an old parking lot by a park (complete with sports fields) across the street, an indoor pool next door, and the parking lot had a no trespassing sign.

The House:
     The house was actually on the same street as the park, maybe about half a mile apart. We noticed it on the way and thought it was really creepy looking. On the way back, I saw a for sale sign, and we decided to go up and check it out.

     As much searching as I did, I found basically nothing on the history of the house. It's in a good neighborhood (unless you count a shitton of thefts good, because there are a lot of thefts there) and it's pricing was an average of the houses around it. I could not find good details on the inside though. I found everything from two bedrooms to five bedrooms and one bathroom to two bathrooms. The only other thing I found, was that it was built in the 60's.

     Mom didn't join me on the porch because a roach ran out, fell of the step, and landed on it's head. I didn't see it so it must have been close to the bushes. That's the scariest thing I've found, history wise and everything. You know what? Still looks like a horror movie house.

The Mill...Kind Of:
     We got lost on the way to the mill. We're pretty sure that we never found it, just the water tower to it. What matched the address was just an empty lot. The history of the mill is very simple. It was built in 1891 and burned down in 1991. It is supposedly haunted by a man who died cleaning the smoke stacks shortly after it was built and by a homeless man who lived there before the mill burned down. People claim to hear them walking around, especially at night.

     To be more clear about the whole cop thing, we had been driving around that neighborhood for about five minutes, just going in circles, before the video even started. It's the type of neighborhood with crazy neighborhood watch who will call the cops on weird vehicles driving around. Not only that, but the cop was following us around. We kept seeing him randomly through the streets. Mom said since she had money in her pocket, she would have been arrested for trying to buy drugs, and since I was in a dress, I would have been a hooker. My mom called me a hooker. Awesome.

P.S. If you want to see something truly horrifying, take a look at this picture.
That was when I was getting my hair done. That was how long my roots were.
Also, that is my natural hair color for anyone who asks, since I didn't really know.
P.S. #2 Now it's much less scary but also very Halloween-y.
It's not as red as we planned, but I like it.
P.S. #3 Momma did her own version of Brother's constantly flying ghost. You can read the story here or see the pictures here.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Happy Halloween: Part One

     For Halloween, Momma and I thought it would be fun to go to some supposedly haunted places and take pictures and videos. We're not saying ghosts exist and we're not saying they don't. You guys get to be the judge of that and tell me what you think. We did it for fun, because Halloween is coming up and it's my favorite holiday. And also, because we had nothing else to do.

     Since we went to a few places, I edited the videos by day (or weekend, since we only spent one day on the weekends doing this). Both of the videos are under fifteen minutes and some have volume, so if you're at work, use your headphones.

     Here is part one:

     I realized it's not fair to just upload that stuff and not give the history or anything, so I'll do that now.

The Playground:
     The first place we were, is a supposedly haunted playground, right across from a cemetery. I didn't do a very good job getting the bird's eye view of it, because there were several families in and out of the park. Basically, the parking lot is up on a hill above the playground about 15-25 feet, maybe more. There is plain, open space, where we took nearly all of the pictures that is surrounded by cliffs that were really fucking huge and the woods. Going down the concrete steps, there was the playground straight in front and an area where I took some pictures (right before the first video). Imagine a tall waterfall and falls into a small circular pond. Now take the water away and let it get over grown with grass and trees and stuff. That's what it looks like.

     I did keep finding were stories about how the playground was destroyed in 2007, literally over night, to increase the area of the cemetery. Apparently, people were pissed the fuck off because they had to rebuild it, with new equipment. That is what has been proven. I honestly have no idea if any of the legends are true or not. I know what I've been told, but that doesn't make it true, so I'm just repeating the stories for ya'll.

     Some of the legends are that the children from the cemetery are the ones who haunt the playground. Some people say that children were abducted in the 1960's and their bodies were found at the playground while others say children were abducted from the playground in the 1980's. One person even told me that a fourteen year old boy was climbing on the cliffs and fell to his death.

     The park closes an hour after sundown but people still go and say that it is most active between 10:00pm and 3:00am. There have been actual reports of children laughing, swings moving on their own, orbs of light captured in pictures (especially around the slide). Supposedly, some people who professionally investigate this kind of stuff went to the park and caught a picture of a little girl, but the link that was supposed to take me to the picture didn't work.

     It was unreasonably cold while we were in the playground but that's probably because we had just left the heated car and it was really windy. Some of my pictures were blurry because my camera kept acting up and not wanting to take pictures. I did play on the swings and Momma took a video on my camera, but honestly, it just disappeared. We don't know why it didn't save. And finally, in the last area of pictures and in the first video, I talk about growling up the cliff and in the trees. There was a guy with a really huge dog that walked in the cemetery and he might live in a house right there, but honestly, I have no idea. We weren't going to get close enough to see because getting mauled by a giant dog doesn't sound fun.

The Cemetery:
     The original two acres of land were donated in 1822. It as over one hundred acres of land (both donated and sold to the city by many people) and has over 80,000 burials (though there are so many unmarked graves, nobody can be certain). The oldest part of the cemetery is so old, that there are many illegible tombstones and the earliest one that can be read is of an infant girl in 1820.

     The same man who sold the first original land, expanded the land, to include two acres that his family is buried on. There indications that the land was used as a burial ground before it was given to the city. The dates are also uncertain because of how old the tombstones are and the dates inscribed on them.

     In the 80,000+ burials, there are 187 unknown Confederate Soldiers in their own section, an unknown number of Union Soldiers (though most were later moved), 5 governors, 5 senators, and unknown number of other people who were famously noted locally all the way to nationally.

     Supposedly, at one of the mausoleums, an older woman sits in a rocking chair. We found a few mausoleums and many above ground tombs, but nothing really weird happened. We walked it one end from the other (though we did stop at one point because my legs were still tingly and my knees still hurt from when I fell and I had to retie my shoes). We couldn't find the Civil War soldiers though, but we probably walked passed them without realizing it or completely missed them, since that's a lot of land to cover.


P.S. #2 Just kidding. It was Brother in his constantly flying ghost costume.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

She's Turning Old Today

     We have another birthday to celebrate! Damn I've done a lot of birthday posts lately. But today is  Mercedes' 23rd birthday! Considering she told everyone on Facebook that she's "turning old today", I thought I might just use that as the title since I'm creative like that.

     I'm not going to go into details since that would ruin this whole thing, but I'm starting up a collection fund for Mercedes. This collection fund will be to have her mother in law sent to Mexico to have her head surgically removed from her ass by a very professional, qualified doctor who hopefully speaks English since I don't know Spanish.

     That would make a wonderful birthday present for her and she totally deserves it, so you can call in those donations at 1-800-Fix-The-Monster-In-Law. I know, it's a long number, I'm sorry. But it will totally be worth it since she has to deal with her on her birthday. You could probably also donate alcohol to Mercedes and her husband, but you'll have to talk to them about it.

     Anyways, Mercedes, I wish I were there to celebrate your birthday with you and to keep the bitch in law off your back for at least today. I hope she doesn't stop you from having a good birthday but I'll make it up to you either way. Maybe I'll buy you that monkey you want. Or a stuffed one since I don't know where to buy a real monkey.

     Happy birthday Mercedes, you old lady you! I love ya!

Monday, October 22, 2012

Super Concussionator

     Before you read this, please note that I am not proof reading this (lol like I ever do) and that I am on some pretty heavy medication and have a concussion and am using Mom's work computer so I'm not used to this keyboard. You'll have to excuse the extra stupidity but I swear all this happened. But you should read it because it's fucking crazy.

     It started off early last week. I don't remember the day exactly, but I remember having a hard time with the post about my nineteenth birthday because I was feeling really sick. Nausea, headache, stomachache, exhaustion, sore throat... But I wasn't actually sick. It went on like this for two days. I think. It might have been three, but I don't remember.

      Wednesday night, while I was writing about my kitten and fucked up dreams (and then posting it after midnight), my computer was running it's weekly virus scan. Let me explain how this works. I used Defender Pro before I got internet on my laptop (I hooked up to free wifi before people put passwords on it) but then we actually had to pay for internet and Norton came with it. Eventually, about four months ago, Defender Pro expired and when I tried to buy more, it wouldn't download. Since I had Norton, I was only pissed about spending the extra money but didn't think anything of it. Then on Thursday morning, when the scan finally finished, it said I had two Trojan viruses. Normally, the scan could get rid of them. Except that it won't when it's expired; it'll just find them.

     Any comments I have left on your blogs since then, have been from my phone. I'm using Mom's work computer for this post because her boss gave me permission and isn't here, and I need to stay awake. Anything from Twitter or Facebook (for those few of you who have me on there) has all been from my phone. This is the first time I've been on the computer so I'm sorry about typos and all that shit but the screen is really tiny on my phone. Momma called the computer fixer people to pick up my laptop and we're on the waiting list, but we don't know when they'll be able to fix it.

     Later on Thursday, I discovered that one of my ear piercings (which I had for over a year and only left the earring out for three days) had closed up. While I was pissed about that, my "Godmother" called and said that I had an interview at 2 PM the next day where I've been trying to get a job for the past couple months (but I had to be 19 and then they waited almost a whole month to call back- turns out they lost my application). Fuck. But also yay.

     Friday, Momma and I followed Mr Fix-It to the restaurant for my interview. Since I can't drive, Mom needs to know where I'll be so that I can have three different rides. I'm supposed to stay on Mr Fix-It's schedule since he lives down the road from me and he's their favorite person ever, but if he gets sick or I have to trade shifts or pick up a shift or whatever, I need an extra back-up ride. So we went.

     The interview went great. I had to fill out a new application and I was supposed to talk to a different manager instead of the owner (like last time) but that manager never showed up. So I talked to the lady manager, after waiting for nearly an hour. She barely looked over my application and then told me I needed to get the uniform and what to get exactly and then shook my hand and said, "Welcome aboard. I'm not the trainer so I'll call you when I know when training will start next week."

     Momma and I left, since Mr Fix-It had to start work. We went to the store and got the belt and socks I needed, since they were right there where we could easily get to it without looking. We also got other stuff but I can't remember what. I do know that we went to the bank. Then we went out to eat; both because were celebrating that I got a job and we didn't want to cook. By the time we got back home, I had to drive because it was dark (on a super curvy road I've never driven before and I've never driven in the dark- but hey, I didn't swerve).

     I had unplugged the lamp by the couch when we left to save electricity and since the dogs unplug it anyways by running around. When The Big Dog goes inside, the first thing he does, is jump on the couch and wait for his treat before going to get water.

     Let me explain... The Big Dog is roughly 115-120 pounds. I have no idea how much I weigh. Most people are guessing 120ish. Last time I was on a scale, it was somewhere between 130-140. He is almost as big as I am in height and weight. His chain outside is a logging chain 3/4 inches thick because he broke everything smaller.

This is a picture of his tree from back in March. See how he's wittled the tree down from running?
     As I was bending down to plug the lamp back it, he jumped onto the couch. I got knocked in the head and the world went fuzzy and dark for a minute, but I caught myself before I fell. If any of you have had a legit glycemic crash when you're about to pass out but catch yourself, you'll know what I'm talking about. If not, it was something like in the movies when there's an explosion and it gets blurry and stuff.

     That was around 6:30 (almost exactly three hours after the interview). After that, my head was still hurting and things were a little blurry, but I tried to ignore it. I even took a shower and ate and stuff. But around the time Momma was going to bed, between 11 and 12, things started to get worse fast. I couldn't focus my eyes. It was as blurry as when I was hit in the head. I saw in triple vision. I thought I was going to throw up. It was hard to think and even a little hard to speak. So we called Shorty to take me to the emergency room since Mom is night blind and she was drunk.

     On the way out to the car, I had almost no balance and I was so dizzy and things were spinning so much, I bumped my head getting into the car. Which kind of defeated the purpose, but we got there eventually. On the way, I sent Sissi and Wolfy texts to tell them I was going to the ER, but I don't remember what I told them. I don't think I was very clear and I remember a lot of typos. Getting out of the car, when we finally got there, the security guard put me in a wheelchair because I couldn't really keep myself up anymore.

     Some nurse dude tried to make me fill out my paper work. First of all, I've never filled out my own emergency room paperwork before. That's something I'm still learning. Secondly, I was there for a head injury. I almost forgot how to spell my name and I could barely see what I was writing.. But eventually Mom was able to empty her pockets and come through and fill things out for me.

     A lady nurse with pretty hair hooked me up to a machine to check my heart and pulse and stuff. Then she asked a bunch of questions but I think Mom had to answer most of them. I remember not knowing my weight and her asking if I was depressed (Mom said no, I tried to correct her but I think they discussed it more before deciding to put "not diagnosed; experiences depression episodes" or something like that) and then Mom reminding me I have Sissi, and "a loving boyfriend", and Brother and I smiled a bunch.

     We ended up in a room and they made me put on a hospital gown. Mom had to help me. The nurses left and Shorty closed her eyes, but I couldn't dress myself. Then they had me pee in a cup for a pregnancy test (and also for drugs and alcohol but they don't tell you that). Mom got pissed and decided to tell the entire hospital it's not possible for me to be pregnant and for some reason, I thought that was one of the funniest things ever.

     I laid down and almost blacked out. Then the nurse hooked me back up to a heart monitor. By throwing the gown up and putting her hands up the gown. (To anyone in the hospital I flashed, I'm really sorry. I didn't know she was going to do that and it scared the fucking shit out of me. To my boyfriend, blame the nurse because that was really stupid and bitchy of her. To the nurse, fuck you for that.) Then I don't remember a lot.

     There were a lot more questions and a lot were the same but it was a different nurse. I had a hard time focusing and I don't remember much. I think I was a bit more lucid because I was laying down but I remember even less about this part. I do know that I was absolutely fucking terrified.

     Mom went and got water and I was pretty mean about, "Don't drink my water" but only because she had been drinking and ew. Nurses basically left me alone and I was shaking a lot. The heart monitor was kind of fascinating. And I remember practically losing my mind wanting to text Wolfy and Sissi. Mom and Shorty made me laugh some.

     After being there for hours, they shined lights in my eyes and then told me they thought it was a mild concussion. I remember that part pretty clearly. The doctor was standing over me. He held out one hand and said, "Some concussions can turn you into a vegetable, where you'll never really wake up and you're unable to do anything" then he held the other hand about six inches away and said, "Some concussions will make you a little dizzy and give you a headache" then he moved the first hand towards the second hand but left about an inch of space and said, "I think you're closer to the mild version but we're going to do a catscan to make sure nothing is serious."

     And so, I got a catscan. The guy who pushed the bed went really fast and even with the rails up, I thought I was going to throw up and fall over. I couldn't remember if a catscan was just a head thing or if it was a full body thing, so I asked if it was bad that I'm claustrophobic  He told me no, it's okay, because as long as I stay still for a minute then it'll be over and it's only my head and I can still see.

     I had to get myself onto the table and lay down. They strapped me down around my stomach, which honestly didn't help the whole claustrophobic thing, and my head went into the machine. It moved over me a few times with really bright lights and sounded like a plane taking off. All I remember doing was praying because I was shaking so badly, that it honestly looked like I was having a seizure. Then it was over and he took me back to my room.

     I was still shaking a bit by the time we got back to the room but the doctor said that the test results were good. Nothing was seriously wrong, just a pretty bad bump to the head. He also told me he was going to put me on two medications. One medication is twice a day for seven days to prevent inflammation and the other is a mix of two medications and caffeine for the pain, which I take every four hours as needed until I run out (there are 20 pills). Let me tell you this, these medications are mother fucking strong.

     After what felt like forever, I was finally released at 4 something in the morning. After all the drama with Mom getting pissed for them wanting to make sure I'm not knocked up, they left it in the room and never tested it. Which kind of pissed me off because that was not an easy task to pull off when I couldn't even stand up right. They made me walk out even though Mom (with her screwed up neck) was supporting me, but she's also like 100 pounds. Or 15 pounds. I'm not really sure. Then the security guards asked how I was.

     Shorty tried to make me go in the elevator to get to the car, that she had parked after dropping me at the entrance. I started crying and refused. So she went and got the car and left us there. They protected my head when I got in the car and we got home around 4:30.

     Saturday, we went to get my prescriptions at WalMart and I found out that they don't sell nose rings at that one (I wanted a clear/silver one instead of a purple one) which kinda sucked because I saw one before with the stone shaped like a little butterfly and it was awesome. We went to lunch afterwards so I could take it and she told the owner (who escorted us to our table and helped me avoid stairs) that I had "a concussion by dog" and then told me and him that I'm the "Concussionator". We went and found out that the piercers at the tattoo place weren't there (we were out and I was already in pain, I decided why not).

     Things got really confusing and foggy after that. I know we went and bought dinner and people kept glaring at me because I was falling so much. We went to Sonic and Mom bought ice and told the lady who works there about me. She saw a picture of The Big Dog and freaked out like "THAT IS A REALLY BIG ACCIDENT" and I thought that was fucking hilarious. Then we went back to the park. I think I may have been in and out of consciousness because there are a lot of missing pieces, but we stopped by and saw Shorty and I told her I owe her a hug and there was a lot of hysterical laughter. Then we saw our neighbor outside who owes me money for watching his dog and wants me to watch her again this weekend and I was like, "Well I'll watch her if you actually pay me" and that was pretty bitchy. Turns out he got confused and didn't know he owed me money. Oops. Then we went home and I think I passed out.

     At one point, I woke up for a while and took a shower. Momma gave me shower rules. Keep the water temperature evened out. Don't flip my hair to put in the conditioner. Don't shave my legs. I was allowed to use a lightsaber but I don't even have one and I don't really understand the movies anyways. The shower went fine but when I was sitting down to get into bed, I managed to wack my head again. Figures. It hurt like a mother fucker.

     Sunday, I was a little less... drugged. Momma told me that the lady manager called Saturday night and wanted me to start Sunday, but Mom just said I was sleeping and we didn't have time to get my uniforms yet (all true), so I'm scheduled for Thursday through Saturday instead. But we had to get my uniforms on her day off so we did.

     It took us three different stores to get everything and I'm almost certain that anyone who wants to start working there must have to take out a loan on their house just to get the clothes, but we managed to get it done. The lady at the shoe store was asking why I kept falling so we told her and she thought it was hilarious until she realized we were serious. Then everyone within a 30 foot radius told me to wear the no-slip shoes out so I wouldn't hit my head again.

     In the last store, we had to get in an elevator to go downstairs. I prefer stairs or an escalator, or an elevator I can see out of. But we were stuck in a tiny one that I couldn't see anything. So I almost had a panic attack. Then we had to get back in it to go upstairs. Both trips knocked me so off balance that I thought I needed a wheelchair again.

     The tattoo shop was open and the piercers were there so we went inside and had the same lady from last year (who did my second ear lobe piercings and my nose) redo my closed up piercing (which hurt more than the first time) and put a matching earring in the other ear since I don't know how to change that type of earring. We also bought a silvery/clear nose ring and had her put it in my nose (which hurt more than actually getting it pierced). Here is a link of earrings similar to mine. It has a little ball on both sides though and you have to take one off to get it through the piercing hole.

     We went out to Chinese after that and everyone kept glaring at me. I'm not even kidding. I took another pain pill and people kept looking at me like I was like the devil incarnate or something. I don't know why. I was nice to everyone even though I didn't speak unless I had to. I didn't even walk much; I had Mom do it because carrying hot soup while heavily medicated with a nasty concussion isn't a good thing to do.

     Then we went home and I don't remember too much after that. I took a shower and kept hitting my ears. They were both sore and it seemed to be the target of a lot of pain. My nose was pretty sore too but I was smarter about that. Then I braided my hair so it wouldn't get all tangled in the hoops.

     This morning, Mom woke me up and we went to her work. She called the computer people. I think I already said that. A lot of people ask how I am and I answer with, "Last week or in general?" and tell them I'm fine in general but this last week has sucked. Mostly I'm just trying to stay awake and I'm using her boss's computer to write this post, but with permission.

     Hopefully I'll have my laptop back Thursday but if not, I'll use a prewritten post. I should be fine to work on Thursday, but I still have to take at least one of the medications to prevent any swelling or whatever. Oh, and instead of being a waitress like I applied for, she's starting me as a hostess (person who leads you to your table and takes your drink order) and a runner (person who brings food to the table when the place is too busy and the waitress/waiter can't). That way I can learn the restaurant and the dishes, while still in training and learning and stuff. If you write a post, I'll eventually comment, but probably only if the link is on Twitter and it'll be from my phone until my laptop is fixed so sorry about that.

     Oh, and last night, I found out that even without the test and the fact that it isn't possible, I'm really not pregnant.

     This week sucks. Except for the job. That's pretty awesome.

P.S. I will probably have split shifts at the restaurant and that means I need books. If you don't want to buy them for me, you can at least suggest some for me. And I know there are ebooks from my lovely writer bloggy friends, but I don't have anything to read that on and I'm not going to lug my laptop around. So it has to be published in paperback. Because I'm too cheap for hardback.

P.S. #2 My head hurts.

Thursday, October 18, 2012


     This is going to be a sort of weird post, even for me. I know what I want to say, but I don't really know how to go about it, so I guess I'll just start off explaining how I got the Kitten... Well, maybe a little more history before that so you can see the full picture.

     On March 6th last year (I actually wrote about this somewhere else so it has the date), an outdoor cat that Mom used to have, had babies in our cabinet. She had miscarried before and we didn't even know she was pregnant, because she didn't gain any weight. She had four of them and seemed to be staying with them, so we were glad.

     The next day, the mom cat wanted to go outside, so we let her out so she could go to the bathroom. But hours passed and she didn't come inside. We called her, we saw her, but she just didn't want to come in. By the time we got to her, we found that she didn't have any milk. Momma checked on the babies and found that two of the four had died.

     There is an emergency vet clinic that stays open all night, but we didn't know where it was. We got a box and some towels, and put the babies in it. Momma is night blind and I didn't even have a permit yet, but we went looking anyways. We jacked up the heat because the kittens were cold and eventually, we found a clinic as they were closing.

     The vet told us that the two babies had a 90% chance of dying that night, unless we could feed them (every 15 minutes for the first night; 30 the next night) and get them warm. He asked if we wanted to just put them down but I said no, I would take care of them. So I did. I stayed up until Momma got up for work. We even named them; Thud (because my other cat fucking threw him because she thought he was a toy and that was the noise he made) and Rambo (because part of his tail was missing and he was a little fighter). I was up the entire night and Wolfy kept me company so I wouldn't fall asleep. Every fifteen minutes, I got them to eat. Every hour or so, I would heat up a sock of rice to warm them up. (We didn't have any bottles or heating pads, so we improvised.)

I'm almost certain that's Rambo. They were twins and the only way to tell them apart was his deformed tail.
Also, I know I keep calling them both "he" but we honestly have no idea what gender they were.
     Momma took them to work and a tenant helped her care for them all day. Thud didn't make it through the day. That night, I took over my shift again and made it until about 3 in the morning. I noticed Rambo was struggling to breath some and I tried to warm him up, I tried to see if he was thirsty. He took his last breath in my hands and I completely lost my shit. I broke down like you wouldn't believe. I was a mess for days.

     Some where in the middle of October of last year, some little kids brought a kitten to our house. They said they found her in the middle of the road, but it's far more likely they found her litter and were able to catch her, then didn't know what to do with them. Everyone knows we take in animals to help them, even if we don't keep them, so they were sent to us.

     At first, Momma told them to just put her by the bowl of cat food outside. Then Momma saw her and that she was so tiny and weak, she couldn't even stand. She took the kitten from the kids and passed her to me. "What do you want to do with her?" Honestly, I wanted to keep her because she was so damn cute, but at the same time, I was terrified. What if I failed her too? I can't tell you how absolutely terrifying that was. But I told Momma to go to Petsmart to get some kitten milk and wet food, since she was about three weeks old.

Look at how frail she used to be.

This was the night I got her.
     That little shit refused to sleep in a box or even sit there from the moment I got her. She cried and cried and cried until I picked her up. She only slept on me, which caused me paranoia in my sleep so that I would wake up every time I moved or she moved so I wouldn't lay on her. The second night, she got down on her own to go to the bathroom and I had a panic attack for the next twenty minutes until I found her. We repeated that process for the next two weeks. Every time she cried to get back to me, I woke up and picked her up. If I wanted to shower or even go to the bathroom, she would follow me and cry the entire time until I picked her up.

     I spent the first week feeding her every hour, day and night. This involved me forcing a syringe into her mouth and making her drink kitten formula (which had to be heated up), until she started doing it on her own. It was a slow process and I was always scared that she might choke on it. But eventually, she started eating the wet food (which involved her throwing her whole face in the can and slurping it up) and gaining weight.

After eating.

While completely passed out on me.

We never could get her face cleaned up.
     I have her trained better than most people have their dogs (or kids) trained. Momma only taught her that apparently, my name is "Mommy" to her. The Kitten learned this. Mom thinks it's funny to go out in public and loudly announce, "Yeah, Rachel has to get back to her baby/daughter." This has earned me many angry looks.

     I didn't get to celebrate Halloween last year because I couldn't leave her alone. Now, I don't really mind. She survived and that's what matters. She still acts a lot like when I first got her, but something has changed. Now, she tries to run outside every chance she gets.

     We have to lock her up in a cage if we even think about opening the door, because she'll run out. I've spent many hours hunting her down to bring her back inside. She's still very little and a damn daredevil, so I will not let her outside. She runs right to the road and we have too many mean kids, animals, and traffic for her to go outside. She is now actually trained to go into the cage for treats but given the chance, she'll go outside.

     That brings us to the whole title of my post.

     In the dream I had last night, I was at my grandparent's house and I brought The Kitten with me. I honestly don't know why. I kept telling them, if they were going to open the door, they had to tell me because I had to hold onto her so she wouldn't get out. Grandpa didn't listen and even though I was sure I had locked The Kitten in my room (or rather, the room I was staying in) she suddenly ran by me and almost got through the fence. Grandpa barely caught her and I jumped awake, before automatically checking to see where The Kitten was and if she was okay.

     A few weeks ago, I had a nightmare where she got out here. Momma and I went racing after her in the middle of the night, but Mom got there first. A car had crashed and when I asked about The Kitten, everyone told me that the driver had hit her on purpose. I was so distraught, I kept telling him to go to Hell and that I wanted to kill him. I literally woke myself up crying. Of course, The Kitten was actually fine, but it was all I could think about.

     Before you think I'm too crazy, she's not the only one who I've had dreams like this about. My dad has been the star of quite a few. In a few, he was dead. In one, the first one, he was a vegetable (not like a carrot; more like laying in a hospital bed with no brain activity) and that woke me up crying. He was still overseas, so I raced to the computer and sent him an email to see if he was okay. He replied within a few hours and he was just fine.

     One of my friends, who will be known as Brainiac because he's too damn smart, has been in a couple of them. I don't remember his very clearly though. All I woke up knowing, is I had a nightmare and that I needed to check on him right away. Pawpaw was in one, maybe two. He may have been in one with Daddy. I don't really remember, but again, I woke up crying. I'm sure there have been others but I don't remember at the moment.

     I don't really know why I wrote this post. I know I'm not the only one who's had dreams like that and I know it's not a really happy, funny post. I guess I just wanted to write it because now The Kitten is a year old and the dream was so fresh on my mind and it's been a while since I really wrote a post that didn't involve (as Brother calls it) me and my crazy antics. Unless this counts as crazy antics. I'll have to ask.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

My 19th Birthday

     Considering my birthday was September 22, this post is just a little bit late. But I had other stuff that was already written to post and stuff that came up, so I'm posting about it now.

     Sissi stayed up until midnight with me and freaked out, telling me happy birthday and that she loves me and misses me and stuff. Right after that, Wolfy texted and told me happy birthday and he called not long after that. Then Brother told me as well. I even woke up to find that I had a Tweet from Kianwi, telling me happy birthday and that she hoped I had fun.

     The actual celebration started off with Mom and I walking to her office. That's where she set everything up so I wouldn't see it and where my "Godmother" was waiting for us. On the way there, two of the neighborhood kids were there and told me happy birthday and thought I was turning seventeen, not nineteen. Then we walked into the and it had a bunch of orange and black Halloween balloons and "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" banners hanging up. It was a total Disney theme (the Halloween balloons could be Tim Burton's Nightmare Before Christmas)

     They sang happy birthday to me and Mom got me the first birthday cake I've had since the birthday after we moved here. It was an ice cream cake with The Lion King on it. All done without a single stencil. When I tried to cut it, it was so frozen from a layer of peanut butter, that I actually cut my finger with the dull side of the knife.

The lady seriously did all that by hand. How awesome is that?
     Momma bought spray glitter and that only resulted in a glitter fight, in which I won. I got the can away from her and sprayed her hair and ass (which is why she was called "Sparkle Butt" and "Glitter Ass" that day). I never actually got sprayed with it but I was still sparkly later.

     I got my presents from Momma while we were eating the cake and the mailman came in to tell me happy birthday, since he talks to Mom basically every day. Grandma texted to tell me happy birthday but promised to call later. After that, we didn't have anything else to do so we went back to the outdoor mall, but stopped at WalMart first.

     Momma told me to go pick out another movie for my birthday and the guy who works there that Mom is kind of friends (who I actually mentioned during the post of most simple surgery ever that literally almost killed me) with started asking about what we were up to and stuff. Then he told me happy birthday and said he hoped I had a good day and to not get into any trouble. He also told me not to go out drinking. Um, what? Some little old lady basically said the same thing, except didn't accuse me of causing trouble and stood up for me. I guess not all old people hate me?

     After that, Momma said she was hungry and that she wanted to go get some food at a restaurant in the outdoor mall. I was still full from the ice cream cake, but agreed anyways and we ended up in a sort of bowling alley/bar/restaurant. (Which, by the way, we went bowling two weeks ago and they fucking close over night and that actually makes me sad because I liked that place because it wasn't crowded and people were nice and what I'm about to tell you.)

     We didn't know where we were allowed to be so Momma asked the guy who worked there and he told us we could sit anywhere. After that, we ordered our food and water and the guy came back, looked Mom dead straight in the eye, and said, "I'm sorry, the rules have changed, you can sit here anymore." And she totally fell for it. After a full week of attempting to prank me, karma kicked her ass. I thanked the dude like five times. (He remembered us when we went bowling.)

     They were having a party so the food took forever to come out and Mom was like, "Hey, that's a mechanical bull." And somehow, that turned into us walking across the bar/restaurant/thing area and me attempting to get onto said mechanical bull. Considering it went up to my shoulders and I had nothing to climb on, I failed miserably. Honestly, considering I was stepping on huge metal poles under a tarp and we probably weren't supposed to be over there, that's probably a good thing.

     While we were eating, my dad sent me a text that said, "Happy birthday my beautiful daughter, I love you" and then he sent the exact same thing to me in a message on Facebook. Remember when I was super pissed about him telling my mom how I had to go to college the week before my birthday and that he would probably forget my birthday? Technically, he did remember it. Whether somebody reminded him or not, I don't know. What I do know is that he couldn't even pick up the phone to call his own kid for two minutes. What the hell kind of shit is that? Fuck that.

     Anyways, after that, we ended up riding the carousal there again. We really should get a lot more strange looks than we do. Either the people there are really polite (not likely since this weekend, when we discovered the bowling alley is closed, a bunch of girls around my age were giving me these "go die alone in a hole" glares under their 50 pounds of makeup) or they think one of us is mentally disabled (far more likely).

     Eventually, we ended up coming back to the park. I was driving the park and some guy (who will further be known as Friend In White Truck or FIWT for short because that's a lot to type) flagged us down because there was a huge accidental water leak. He was trying to take an old trailer down for his friend and busted the line open. The next two hours were spent dealing with this:

     I also made friends with the dog in the pictures. Has anyone heard of a "leopard dog"? Neither did I but apparently, that's what he is. Either way, he's mean and hates practically everyone but he tried to tackle me and kept trying to jump on me and lick me. It was pretty gross but also hilarious. He got off his chain and when I grabbed his collar (ninja reflexes!), I got a bunch of gross shit all over my hands.

     During the leak, we found out that the mentally disabled woman (she was hit by a car a long time ago and it was so bad, I'm not going to give details) who is also into many bad, illegal things now picked a fight with some people and got pretty beaten up. So we had to get the cops out there and make sure that she was taken care of as well. (She's totally fine now and when she's sober, she's like the sweetest person ever. She actually saved somebody's life the other day but that's a story for another time.)

     After we got home, Grandma did call me and told me happy birthday. I also found out that a couple people Mom works with told me happy birthday.

     This post should end here, but to end the whole dad thing, I have the ending story. I changed my Facebook status to basically say "Thanks to everyone who wished me a happy birthday, especially to all the jerks who forgot. If I can pick up a phone, why can't you?" That might be the direct quote; I don't remember. Anyways, he never said a word about it but Ashley, Mercedes, and a kind-of-ish friend apologized because they forgot/didn't know. Never heard from Sis (when I told her, she didn't even apologize, wtf), anyone else from actual family, not a single one of my other friends. Strange thing is, I don't even care, except that my dad couldn't pick up a damn phone.

P.S. I changed my relationship status on Facebook, right after my birthday. We had been keeping it a secret because my dad has his head so far up his ass that he'll need a special surgeon to remove it, but after doing that, I was like "He has no right to be pissed off if he doesn't even care about my birthday". But mostly, I just didn't want to hide it from anyone to begin with and I was looking for a good excuse that I can use against my dad if he starts shit up. "I don't like him!" "Well fuck you, you have no right to say anything if you can't even call me on my birthday." type of thing.

P.S. #2 Here's a video of all the presents I got. I recorded this at like 3 am one night/morning, so I'm sorry my brain died at a few points when there is complete silence and I forgot what I was going to say. I'm stupid when I'm tired.

P.S. #3 Despite my ranting and stuff, I really did have a good birthday. It's literally the best birthday since I can remember. Shit happens but I'm going to continue to focus on the good stuff about that birthday, rather than the negative.

Thursday, October 11, 2012


     I actually made this video a couple weeks ago, so the whole "Last night" thing is pretty irrelevant. I don't really know what to say. Just watch the video and join me in the confusion.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Best Halloween Costume Idea Ever

     First of all, I'm proud of myself for having a post ready to publish (for the most part) because I am fucking exhausted right now and will be busy editing videos and shit when I'm more than semi-conscious. I've been meaning to write about my birthday and when I got The Kitten and a couple other things, but that'll also have to happen when I'm actually awake.

     Secondly, I just wanted to say that Sissi is doing great after her surgery. The hole in her heart was bigger than they thought, but they were still able to fix it. She went home the day after the surgery and looked fucking beautiful the day OF her surgery. She looked perfectly normal, maybe a little tired, but still. (Which really, isn't fair, because I looked like a zombie vampire on crack just from having my wisdom teeth removed.) And she's probably tired of hearing that, but seriously, what the fuck.

     Thirdly, since Halloween is coming up, I decided to post this for a costume idea for you guys. Because it's fucking awesome.

     Okay, guys, here's all you need to know:

     There was a pirate costume I've been trying to get for three years (click the link to see it; its REALLY cute). The first year, we didn't have the money. The second, I tried it on and completely fell in love, but when we went back to get it (after waiting for Mom's paycheck), they were completely sold out. The third, there was nothing to do for Halloween and I couldn't leave The Kitten home alone yet anyways. I told my boyfriend about that last year and he bought it for me as a Christmas present, so I could FINALLY wear it this year.

     The only other thing you have to know, is Brother is TALL. Like, he's been over six feet since he was fourteen. He is a giant and we are all sure to make sure he knows that.

     When people jump out at me, I tend to hit. When people grab at me, I tend to hit. Basically anybody sneaking up on me or anything, like in "haunted houses" would result in me physically harming the person who did it. Not because I plan it, but because my reflexes suck. Or maybe they're awesome. I guess it depends on perspective.

     Now, just enjoy this conversation and then you will have the best way to be a ghost for Halloween ever.

Rachel: There is NOTHING to do around here for Halloween
Brother: that's boring and crappy
Rachel: Extra crappy because that pirate costume that I've been REALLY wanting to wear for THREE years, is in the closet. Wolfy got it for me last Christmas because he remembered me being all upset about doing absolutely nothing last year for Halloween. So I'd feel horrible if I didn't even get to wear it.
Brother: maybe you should go do spooky things
Rachel: There's nothing spooky =/ It's church stuff, a scarecrow trail for children, a "haunted" house that would probably result in my arrest, and a corn maze that would definitely result in my arrest ._.
Brother: jump in front of people from behind corners
Rachel: Except they might sock me in the face
Rachel: And that would hurt
Rachel: But more importantly
Rachel: 2 1/2 year and $6000 for braces
Rachel: I ain't wasting that shit
Brother: imagine if I tried to be a ghost
Brother: the bed sheet would come down to like my chest
Rachel: It'd have to be custom made
Rachel: Or
Rachel: Since we have no money
Rachel: Buy a bunch of sheets and sew them together
Rachel: You can be a hillbilly ghost
Brother: or just wear a black shirt and put a pillow case over my face and I'm a constantly flying ghost
Rachel: ............That is the best idea ever
Rachel: Please do that
Brother: okay
Rachel: You'll be a constantly flying ghost for Halloween this year?
Brother: maybe
Brother: but I do want to be a mobster/detective
Brother: but we'll see how that works out
Rachel: Like that?
Brother: yeah, but without the stripes
Brother: that is eyeball searing
Rachel: lol
Rachel: Okay, be what you want, but I want a fucking picture you of being a constantly flying ghost
Brother: I have some black shirts I could turn around and use (because they have prints on the front)

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Pretty Important Stuff

     I'll have funny things for ya'll next week, probably, but not today. I have plenty of funny shit to say but it's just not going to come out at the moment. But, before you X out of the blog, please at least read this first half if you have agreed to participate in my project of getting bloggers to write about bullying.

     I just got an email (well, actually I got it at like eight this morning, but I was still trying to sleep then) from a lady who has agreed to write about bullying. She was trying to clarify the date of Anti Bullying Week. I stated that its from November 19th through November 23rd but she found the National Bullying Prevention Center website says October is Anti Bullying Month and October 10th is Unity Day.

     I've been researching this since the middle of summer, to come up with the correct dates, and everything I've found says it takes place in November. In my searches, the NBPC (I don't know what they call it but that is a really long name) never even came up. Due to this, I'm honestly not sure which are the correct dates now. Maybe they have a month, two different days, and a week. I really don't know.

     Next year, I plan on doing this again (and maybe a few more projects, like on suicide prevention and such- if you know of any, please tell me and I'll most likely write something) and I'll be more careful about finding out the correct dates. For this year, I will still be doing my posting in November whether or not that is correct. I don't have enough time to finish my research and posting in order to get it done in time this month and I know that a lot of you won't be able to do that either.

     However, whether you post October 10th (NBPC's Unity Day) or some time in November, I will still count it as part of my project. Send me your links at or Tweet them @WhenALionSleeps so they will be posted on my blog, no matter if you post them some time in October or that week in November. If anyone else has any more questions, you can email me, Tweet me, or leave a comment and I will respond.

     On that subject, I would like to thank everyone who has agreed to participate in this project. I knew that I would have maybe three or four people agree, but I wasn't expecting so many people. It's my highest viewed post with over sixty views since Sunday at 11:30pm when I posted it half an hour early. It really means a lot that you're all so willing to post about something and to take part in it.

     I doubt I would have gotten so many views or so many people to agree to take part on my own, if The Bloggess hadn't Tweeted my link for me. Yeah. The Bloggess. Possibly the most famous blogger ever. Technically, I only spoke with Mary, her assistant/fairy godmother. The link was sent out on her secondary account @TheGoodBloggess, where she posts links to charities and stuff that help people out. Because of her, 3000+ people saw it and two retweeted it to their couple hundred followers. How cool is that?

    Anyways, onto an entirely different subject. I wasn't planning on writing so much about that today and I would have rather waited until my next post, but that didn't seem fair to you guys. I'm still on serious subjects and this one is actually fucking terrifying for me.

     Most of you know about Sissi. She's been my best friend of six years. As far as I'm concerned, she's my actual sister. When I talk about her, I very rarely say that she's my friend. It's always "My sister" or "My little sister" or "She's my sister'. You get the idea.

     A few months ago, she told me that she was going to the doctor because she'd been having heart pains that were coming more often and she wanted to get it checked out. The doctor sent her to a city a few hours away for her to see a specialist. The specialist told her that she has a hole in her heart and they don't actually know what's causing the pain but she needs surgery to have the hole fixed.

     I was supposed to be there, but we didn't have time to get the money together because we thought that she was having a presurgery appointment instead of the actual surgery. So, I'm stuck three states away from my little sister while she's having a fucking scary surgery. She's having the surgery today and I'm freaking out.

    It's not a big surgery. She won't have a massive scar and it's supposed to be a pretty routine and short surgery. Without it, she could die. But it's still heart surgery and that's scary as hell. She's having surgery at 6:45 in the morning today and I would really appreciate any prayers or good vibes or whatever you do, sent her way. I'm sure she'll appreciate it too, when she's back at home and no longer drugged up so she can read this.

     And to Sissi directly:
     I'll talk to you when you're out of the hospital tomorrow and aren't all wacky from the anesthesia. Feel better and kick ass. I love you, Sissi. Also, I still want to see videos of you being all drugged up, because you know my stories from when I had my tooth surgery. Also also, I hope you like how I made all of your font orange, since its your favorite color. Also also also, don't forget about Aunt Rachel's Story Time. Instead of scarring a kid with Rock A Bye Baby, I'll be telling my future nieces and nephews about their mommy's heart surgery when she was sixteen.