Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Merry Christmas!

     I've been asking people what kind of posts they would like to see me write on here. I guess I should have known that Christmas would be a popular topic, since it's, you know, Christmas time. But that's perfectly fine. I don't think I've ever written a Christmas post before.

     My friend Ashley just told me to talk about Christmas. My brother Tony specifically asked me to talk about traditions that I've had, and traditions I would like to start with my boyfriend, Wolfy. He also asked about gingerbread houses, hot chocolate, and snow. Kianwi (of Simply She Goes- her blog is having technical difficulties but she will be back soon) asked me about our decorating and holiday plans.

     Let's just get started with this.


     That is the tree this year. It doesn't have any presents under it because we opened them all because we don't have our parents telling us not to open them before Christmas. The only reason we actually have a tree is our roommate bought one on sale to "welcome me to the apartment". That thing it's on? This laundry basket and an old sheet. That thing by the tree? I'm not really sure but I think it's eyes follow me around the room.

     That's all the decorating we really did this year. Wolfy had pulled out some extra Christmas lights but those never got used. We just never got around to hanging them up this year. Next year, I'll probably want to do a little more to celebrate, but considering I just got here, I'm surprised there was even a tree.

     Our holiday plans this year? He actually has tomorrow off, so we'll probably sleep in. Tonight, he's having some friends over when he gets off work. That means I had to put on real pants, which doesn't happen very often unless I'm going somewhere, which is almost never. I've worn makeup a total of three times since arriving, not including when I was on the plane.

     Other than that, I honestly don't know. Like I said, we already opened presents. He found out what his was early so I let him unwrap it and he didn't even bother wrapping my present. From our roommate, he was like, "Hey. You can open it now." so I was like "...Okay." and then we opened our presents from him. Today, the box from my mom came in the mail, so we just opened that too (that resulted in the room being totally trashed).

     He just texted me and told me that he got the last eggnog in the store since he's been telling people all day that they were out. So, apparently we're going to have eggnog.

     Um... I don't know. Is that all we're doing? We'll probably end up watching Netflix all day tomorrow. I honestly don't know.

     For traditions I would like to start? Actually opening presents on Christmas. Maybe actually cooking something when we have a bigger kitchen (or food- we really, really need to go grocery shopping). Decorating with Christmas lights because they're pretty. I dunno.

     When I was little, my grandparents used to invite all the family who couldn't stand each other and make massive (not very tasty) meals, with corny Christmas music and throw "classy" parties to show off to all their friends. Those are my general memories of Christmas as a kid, plus presents. But we couldn't just open them. There could be my grandparents, two uncles, their significant others, my great-grandparents, my second cousin and her husband, my mom, and anywhere between 5-8 cousins. We each got to open one present, "ooh and ahh!", take a picture, and then move on. And we would get in trouble if the card wasn't read first.

     Then when I got older, I started spending them with my dad. We all know how I feel about him, but let's just ignore that part and continue with this little story. Memaw is... Let's put it this way- She should never be allowed in a kitchen. She was always in charge of dinners. Depending on where my dad currently lived, we would have a Christmas with one family member and then all go to his parents' house to repeat the process. It's a good thing I stopped going when I did, because I once caught my cousin's friend stealing my underwear and that's the favorite stocking stuffer (I typo'd that as "suffer" but it still fits in this) from that family. Which you have to open in front of everyone.

     The best Christmases I had were the last couple years with Momma. She would cook. I would help by stirring and making sure nothing spontaneously combusted when she would go to the bathroom. And we would watch the parade and open presents. And I would piss her off by guessing what was in each present before opening it, until last year when she duct taped everything too much.

     All I really know is that in future Christmases, I want them to be more like the one I had with Mom. Not chaotic. Just simple and about actually celebrating good things, instead of trying to show off or show everyone in the family what underwear which person owned. One year, I would like for it to snow on Christmas. I've never had snow that time of year, only around Valentine's Day.

     I've almost never been around snow since I lived in the south my whole life, but when we did get it, we would be buried. I would get to wake up, run outside for like three hours, and the snow would be melted. But it was awesome and I want that to happen on Christmas one year- which will probably be more likely if I didn't live in a desert, but oh well.

     Also, I only ever had one gingerbread house. Momma and I tried to build it. We couldn't figure out what we were doing and then something happened and it broke and it was messy and just a super bad idea. It makes me a little sad, since my friend from the restaurant and her toddler nieces just made a gingerbread house and it looked pretty good.

     As for hot cocoa... Yes please. I would like some. Hot cocoa is good. I prefer it with milk though, instead of water, and we don't have any milk. Which is why I couldn't eat cereal this morning. We're adult enough to eat the food we have, but then we run out and forget to buy more.

     Is there anything I left out? Are there any other blog topics you'd like to suggest?

P.S. Don't suggest details on school, about the move, what it's like here, or what we do for fun. Those topics have already been suggested.

P.S. #2 Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and all of that stuff.

Saturday, December 21, 2013

This Post Is A Mess

     Let me just start this post by saying that I have never watched Duck Dynasty. I don't know what it's about, but they are now extremely famous and are selling everything with their name on it. That's literally all I know about them, except that now a preacher on that show is under fire because of racist and homophobic things that he's said?

     All I see is support for him. Shared pictures of him on Facebook. Retweets saying that you should support him. Friends changing their pictures to him. With all of that and the captions, which usually say that if you don't support him then you don't support freedom of speech, it's really starting to piss me off. Last time I checked, you can say whatever you want to say. But some things just shouldn't be said out of respect for other people.

     I don't know what brought on his comments in whatever magazine it was. I don't know if certain parts were edited out to make it a scandal. I don't know if it was taken out of context. I don't know if he is actually racist, homophobic, sexist, or the nicest man that you'll ever meet. Because I know nothing about the show and I don't know the man himself.

      Without having all of the facts, I refuse to support the man but I also refuse to condemn him. He has every right to say what he saw and his own personal beliefs, even if I don't like what he has to say. Everyone has their own right to say and believe what they want.

     My beliefs are that everyone is created equal and that everyone has the right to marry whoever they want to. So what if you think they're going to hell? You don't get to decide that. You're not God and you don't know what He's thinking. You don't have to marry anyone you don't want to so it doesn't have a damn thing to do with you. However, when you start treating somebody with disrespect, that's a problem.

     And don't even try to use the religious "but I'm trying to save their souls". Don't even start with me on that one because in every religion I have knowledge of, the best thing we can do is treat everyone equally and love each other and all the good things like that. I believe that as long as you're a good person, things will work themselves out. When you start pretending to be a good person as a disguise to be a jerk, that makes it even worse than just being a jerk in general. Extremists are in all religions, or non-religions.

     So what do I have to say about whats-his-name and all of this mess?

     Because the things he said were taken the wrong way, he should issue an apology for offending people, whether he meant to or not. He doesn't have to apologize for how he feels, just apologize for how he made some people feel bad. He can say whatever he wants to say by the freedom of speech and we're not losing it if he's removed from the show, because the network is trying not to offend people. Clearly, I'm saying whatever the fuck I want to right now. But there is a line that shouldn't be crossed by anyone and apologies should be made when overstepping that line.

     As for how he feels, he can keep feeling that way. We don't even know what exactly he does feel. Beliefs don't typically change over night. Just be nice and understand not everyone feels the same way, so unless you want to start a shitstorm, be careful of what you tell other people. The worst thing you can do with your beliefs is make somebody feel bad with them.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Hi, I'm Rachel

     It's been a while since I've had a real life update here. A few of my regular readers had no idea of some things that I mentioned before, mainly facts about myself. Since I've recently gained a couple new readers (hello!), I thought maybe I should sort of reintroduce myself and let you all know what's been going on lately.

     For starters, hi, I'm Rachel. I honestly kind of hope that you knew that already unless you just stumbled onto this blog and never heard of me before.

     I was born 20 years ago, but I'm 7 at heart. (My Disney princess bandaids and stuffed animals will back me up on that.)

     I recently moved out of my mom's house, halfway across the country, and into my boyfriend's apartment. You can call him Wolfy. (We do have a roommate but he's irrelevant since I never see him and only hear him snoring when I'm in the kitchen.)

     I have a cat at my mom's house, because we couldn't have her in this apartment. Hopefully, sometime next year, I'll be able to get her back.

     If you ask me a question in the comments, I will reply. Most people don't realize that and then I answer the same thing a million times. (Actually, I generally reply to all comments.)

      I like weird socks. (I own ones with kitties, rainbow colors, music notes, butterflies, cheetah print, etc. And then regular black ones I had to wear when I worked in the restaurant.)

     Before moving, I worked as a runner, hostess, and then server in a restaurant. It's a job that I think everyone should have once in their lives so that they'll learn how to treat and tip people. (Way too many stories on that to know where to begin.)

     Currently, I don't have a job, since I'm finishing up my highschool diploma so that I can work in a daycare. (If you want to know why I don't have it yet, you can read it here and here.) (I have doubled the credits I had since arriving here, in the past three and a half weeks, plus raised my GPA to 3.90!)

     Some of the fastest ways to piss me off are by bullying, lying, or being a creeper. Especially if it involves somebody I love.

     Some of the fastest ways to make me happy are letting me have ice cream, stuffed animals, or Disney related things.

     For some reason, everyone asked me for relationship advice before I started dating my boyfriend. But now that I actually might have an idea of how to help, nobody asks for relationship advice. I find it weird.

     Wolfy is determined to teach me to play video games. So far, I haven't broken anything and I know how to push buttons. I'm kind of proud of that.

     Sissi is my sister but we're not actually related. Brother is my brother but we're not actually related, and he now lives like twenty minutes away (and his name is Tony!)

     I dye my hair more than I should. It's currently redbrown because the red didn't take as much as I had hoped. Next time, I'm going for bright red. Probably. I want purple or blue but I refuse to bleach my hair.

     I'm really bored but I think you guessed that already.

     I need more books to read. I like the Harry Potter series, The Night Circus (which I finally finished yesterday), The Hunger Games, and A Series Of Unfortunate Events. I didn't like any of the Twilight saga or romance books. Start suggesting please. (I've read a lot of other books. I was trying to go with widely known books.)

     I should probably go check on laundry so I can remake the bed?

     I don't know. This was just a random list. If anybody ever needs or wants to contact me, you can comment here or email me (pertinax_puella@hotmail.com) or tweet me (@whenalionsleeps). I'm pretty good at replying right away, as long as I see it.

     And now tell me three facts I don't know about you since I told you a shitton of stuff.

     (Oh yeah, this is a curse friendly blog. Except earlier this year when I gave up cursing for Lent, which went way better than expected.)

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Questions #9

     When I was doing the A to Z Challenge in April, I asked my readers for some questions so that I could do a post for Q. I didn't think I would have enough questions so I asked my friend Ashley to send me some. She sent me eight hundred so I decided I would accept the challenge and answer them all (like she also decided) but I would split it up with posts. I'll be continuing from where I left off from the previous post. You can see the other posts by going here.

     (For the record, this post was written when she sent me the list for the Challenge, so not all of the answers are completely up to date.)

206) Do you prefer BBC or ITV?
     I do not know what those things are.

207) Have you ever been surfing?
     I've never even been to the beach.

208) Have you ever been snowboarding?
     I rarely ever even see snow and its never been enough for that.

209) Who was better; The Beatles or Elvis Presley?
     They were equal, in their own way. I just prefer Elvis' music.

210) What's your favorite type of foreign food?
     Chinese food. I love it.

211) What foreign country do you dislike the most?
     I have nothing against any countries, especially without visiting them.

212) Do you like your music loud or easy listening?
     Usually, loud. But I have very sensitive ears and I get headaches easily, so that doesn't last too long.

213) What's your favorite animated or cartooned program?
     A TV show? I don't know. Probably Courage The Cowardly Dog or the original Loonytoons.

214) Do you sing in the shower?
     Not anymore.

215) Are you a clean or messy person?
     Clean. I always keep things clean in my house, but when I go to somebody else's house, it ends up a wreck. I'm not sure how. (Updated: The apartment is clean but there's stuff everywhere. I managed to make it both and I don't know how.)

216) What's your preferred playing piece in Monopoly?
     The dog. When I was little, I owned the limited edition Disney version and I'm pretty sure I always played as Princess Aurora because she used to be my favorite princess.

217) Can or do you still play Twister?
     I haven't played it since I was little, but no. I have too many problems with my right shoulder now. (Updated: I could probably try now but chances are, I would fall on my face.)

218) Can you play Chess?
     Nope.

219) Do you know the dance steps to an annoying, cheesy pop song?
     I don't know the dance steps to any song. (Update: Wolfy is determined to change that.)

220) Do you prefer straight or bendy straws?
     Bendy! It was an exciting day when the restaurant got bendy straws instead of regular ones. They're gone now though and that sucks. (Update: The last part is now irrelevant since I no longer work there, but it was really exciting for the whole week it lasted.)

221) Have you ever entered a talent contest?
     I was forced to at a church camp. It was required so that everyone had fun. I don't remember much that we did, but my group and I put on a talk show act, along the lines of the helping hands game from Whose Line Is It Anyway. I was the host, one friend ended up with makeup all over her face, the other friend was her 'arms', and we had one girl act like a crazed fan. We got a lot of laughs.

222) And did you win?
     Nope, but it was a lot of fun.

223) Do you like poetry?
     Most of the time. My favorite, to date, is this poem.

224) Are you a bad loser?
     Not really. I might get irritated if I constantly lose but that's about it.

225) Which would you choose? Jelly or ice cream?
     If its a peanut butter sandwich, jelly. Any other time, ice cream.

226) What's your favorite type of pie?
     Apple. With ice cream.

227) What's your most used phrase?
     "Okay." "Maybe." "Sure." "Yeah." "I don't know." "Why?" "You tickle me too much." Take your pick.

228) What's your most used word?
     Take any from #227.

229) Who would you want to play you in a movie of your life?
     Me! I wanna play me because I know myself better than anyone else. Plus, it would be cool to be in a movie.

230) What would your dream job be?
     That I can actually achieve, to open and run a daycare.

231) Which song do you hate most?
     Basically anything with rap. Or I'm Not Gonna Write You A Love Song by Sarah Bareilles. I like the meaning of it but I can't listen to it without my ears hurting.

232) How long does it take you to get ready?
     About an hour, to do full makeup and hair. (Update: On a good day, I can do it in half an hour, but my hair won't be straightened and I won't have eyeliner on.)

233) What do you think the greatest invention has been?
     The heater. It gets freaking cold during winter, okay?

234) What's your favorite feature on the opposite sex?
     Personality, eyes, and then smile.

235) What's your least favorite feature on the opposite sex?
     Feet.

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Happy Thanksgiving

     I noticed a bunch of bloggers writing posts about what they're thankful for this month, mainly just a post every day with one thing in it. I didn't realize that was a thing until a few days ago so it was a bit to late to join in this year, but maybe I have a theme for NaBloPoMo next year since I skipped it this year? I'll probably forget, but that's not the point. This year, I'm going to list twenty things I'm thankful for (in no particular order) since I'm twenty years old.

  1. I'm thankful for my family. I don't get along with most of them. But I know that the only thing that's important is that I have the family that gives a damn about me.
  2. I'm thankful for my boyfriend, who I now live with, for those of you who missed that post. He makes me happy and I love him and trust him more than I thought possible.
  3. I'm thankful for my friends, a lot of them who I just recently started getting to know before the move and have no idea this blog even exists.
  4. I'm thankful for my school, even though it's a few years late for me to be working on my highschool diploma. But I am proud to say my current GPA is 3.88.
  5. I'm thankful to be financially okay. I'm by no means rich and I don't even have a job currently, but I saved enough money to be okay and still help with bills until I find a new job.
  6. I'm thankful for my health, even with the issues that I do have. Hypoglycemia, allergies, psoriasis, headaches... but nothing that is especially serious or dangerous.
  7. I'm thankful for the chances that I've been given by everyone who has help me come this far in life. Just a chance to hear me out without judgement.
  8. I'm thankful for music, which let's me get out of my head when I really need to just focus on anything else and just generally entertains me.
  9. I'm thankful for the faith that I have and the faith that people have in me, which I did not expect to ever have.
  10. I'm thankful for the things that I own. They're mostly in boxes right now and some is still at my mom's house, but I still have a lot more than most.
  11. I'm thankful for this blog, despite the fact that I post like twice a month now, because it still gives me a place to say whatever I need to say.
  12. I'm thankful for my first real job being a place that I was welcome in and gave me a chance to learn. Like I said earlier today, people work there for the experiences, not the money.
  13. I'm thankful for all the memories that I have, the good and the bad, because they made me who I am today and I think that's somebody I can be proud of.
  14. I'm thankful for all the things that I knowledge that I have. Not all of it is school based and most of it came from things I went through, but I learned how to fight back.
  15. I'm thankful for the strength to fight back and not give up, when I now realize that I have so much to lose.
  16. I'm thankful for random acts of kindness in the world, like when I had a stranger pay for somebody else's meal and refused to admit that it was them.
  17. I'm thankful for all the stories that I've heard because they always show a new perspective on things that I may have never thought of before.
  18. I'm thankful for all my girly things, like makeup or hair products, because they make me feel pretty, even on days when I feel like I look like a zombie vampire on crack again.
  19. I'm thankful for technology, which not only helped me to meet some of the most important people in my life, but lets me stay in touch with them earlly.
  20. I'm thankful to have made it to my 20th birthday earlier this year and I hope to have many more birthdays after this.

     There is my list of 20 things I'm thankful for but know I take for granted every day. I wish we all focused on what we're thankful for everyday and now that Black Friday is taking over Thanksgiving, I hope people don't forget how to be thankful.

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Um I Wrote A Thing?

     I had an English assignment for my schoolwork to write a 500 word essay about an odyssey in my life time, a book report on one of two short stories, or about the topic I chose. I chose to write about "Why do wars start and how does it effect those involved? In conclusion, describe your own personal preference in viewing or listening to fiction or drama." I got an 80% on the essay, but I was pretty proud of it anyways so I figured I would post it here. But honestly, I hate book reports and I'm not sure what an odyssey is so that's why I picked this topic. At least I posted before I even said I would!


I come from a military family. From the top of my head, I can name one great-grandfather, three grandfathers, three uncles, two aunts, a cousin, and my father who were all in the military at some point in time. Most of them have been in one war or another. I suppose that's why my heart doesn't truly understand why wars have to happen, even if I understand the logical side.

All wars do have a reason though. Usually, it's because one country doesn't agree with the way another country is being run. The countries bicker and then they break out the guns. The body count grows, the ground is stained with blood, and tears for the lost and the dead are shed by billions. No matter the reason behind it, good or bad, it always hurts those involved. Somebody always gets a hero's burial, provided they can find the body.

The Vietnam War, in specific, started because South Vietnam and North Vietnam were fighting over whether the country should be communist or not. My grandfather fought in that war because America took North Vietnam's side while China was defending South Vietnam. It is a lucky and an amazing thing, that another World War wasn't started because extra countries jumped in as allies. The war ended almost four decades ago but my grandfather has never recovered, so I find it hard to believe most veterans truly have.

It's not something that he likes to talk about. The few times anyone has gotten him to speak, he's had whiskey in one hand and a dark look on his face. I can't even imagine all the things that he and his comrades must have seen on the battlefield. Children killed, friends killed, maybe even himself in his nightmares. The war ended in 1975, but he was one of the men sent on the ground to search for snake pits. He's even scared of worms now, in fear they're small snakes in disguise. I used to garden with him as a little girl and he made sure, above all else, I never touched a worm, just in case.

I think the worst part about the fact that he was involved in a war that didn't even affect his home country, is that he lost that fight. South Vietnam eventually won and so did communism. Millions of people lost their lives, figuratively and literally. After all, when you're off in another country fighting a war, time doesn't stay still in your own home. Not to mention the psychological damage or the financial resources that were used during that time.

Knowing what I do about wars has a strong impact on who I am. I loathe violence, whether I'm reading about it or watching it. I'm the type of person who wants to be surrounded in happy or silly things, like Disney movies or stuffed animals. I suppose part of me just wants to hold onto that innocence of not knowing why worms should never be touched, just in case.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Ignore That This Is 19 Days Late

     Back on the first of November, I was supposed to link to and thank everyone who joined in for the Anti-Bullying posts this year. And then I didn't do that. But I do actually have a reason (or a few), unlike when I just don't post for like three weeks at a time and don't. My excuses?

     I picked up as many extra shifts as I could in my last two weeks of work. I had a going away party that resulted in me crying when I hugged a couple of my friends goodbye (everyone was crying though, which is the main reason I even started crying) and that left me too exhausted to write. I hung out with friends every chance I got since I knew I wouldn't be seeing them. I hung out with my mom 24/7 otherwise, literally since she is no longer working in the park because her boss is quite literally losing his mind (she's okay though, but the timing really sucks). My anti-virus thingy wouldn't turn on on my laptop. And oh yeah, I moved in with my boyfriend. Half way across the country.

     I got here two days ago and I'm just now unpacking. I ran out of hangers though and I don't know where to put my stuffed animals yet, so I figured I should write the post that's nineteen days late. Honestly, I kind of feel like I should just thank everyone on Thanksgiving since I waited this long anyways since that seems like an appropriate day to do it, but we all know that would end up posted some time in 2014 at this rate.

     There really weren't that many people who joined in this year, but I had a feeling that would happen since I stopped getting as many page views and as many comments when I stopped regularly posting. Some bloggers can get away with that. I'm not super famous or crazy/weird enough for that one, which is weird to think about considering half the shit I've written about here before.

      Shannon Lawrence not only mentioned my posts in several of her own posts to help bring attention to it, but she wrote about what her son went through when he was only a little boy. You can read that here. Then to top it off, she had it arranged for a different post about bullying to be written on her other blog. Donnell Ann Bell is actually the author of this post, which is a perspective not many people think of. And of course, Kianwi joined in again this year. Her post is more about beauty being different than what most people actually see.

     I feel like I'm forgetting to include somebody and I really, really hope that I'm not. If I did, just send me an email and I'll fix it. I can access my email from my phone but not from the laptop right now, because I forgot the password (oops) and I have to find the paper with it written on. That's why I don't have my list of bloggy people to include right now. Hopefully next year will run a lot smoother than this year did.

     But anyways, back to the whole moving thing?

     Let me just answer the top questions that every fucking person I know keeps asking me, and if you have something to add, then I'll answer it in the comments.

     "What are you going to do for work?"
     Probably work in another restaurant until I finish school and the start of the next school year, which is when daycares typically start hiring. Then I'll see if I can work in one of the daycares around here.

     "What's your mom going to do? You're so close!"
     Well, I'm assuming she's going to keep breathing, eating, sleeping, and all other things required to live. She'll get a new job where she won't be pushed towards losing her sanity by/like her boss and she'll move out of the park so she doesn't have to deal with him.

     "Are you gonna get married?" immediately followed by "Are you and that boy going to be living in sin!?"
      Bitch, stop. You cannot ask me that. That is not a thing you can ask me, especially if I work for you and we aren't even friends. Go away. We're going to live together and we're going to see what goes from there, like basically everyone from this generation does now.

     "Do you love him?"
     That's just a dumb question. Why would I live with somebody if I didn't love them? If you ask this, you have lost your privilege to ask things for the rest of the day for being dumb.

     "What does your mom/dad say?"
     Momma is supportive but not exactly happy about it. She's texting me constantly and seems to have a new found obsession with cleaning now that she's not at work during the day. Mom, if you read this, then you need to go finish rinsing the dishes and then pick up a book but don't forget to eat.
      Not a clue about my dad. I only posted it on Facebook yesterday. We'll see how much longer it takes for him, his girlfriend, or one of my aunts to see it and flip their shit. Oh well.

     "Do you have family there? You boyfriend doesn't count in this answer."
     Well, Brother did move like 20 minutes away from here like two weeks ago. We're not technically related but I'm totally going with yes on this answer. (In case you haven't heard, he does have a name now because he has a blog after all hell broke lose on my Unity Day post, but I figured if I called him Tony nobody would know who I was referring to.)

     "What about your animals? Are you taking them?"
     Not yet. Sometime next year, I'm supposed to go back and bring my cat, but the others are staying with Mom. They won't be able to handle the move.

     You have no idea how many times I've answered those questions in the past month. There are a few more too but they weren't the most asked things, nor do I really want to post about it. Apparently, none of my friends have filters and they're all nosy as hell.

     This post ended up way longer than I thought it would be. I guess that happens when you have like six months worth of things to say and you try to cram it into a few paragraphs. Since I'm not currently working and I have a lot of things I never got to say, I'm going to try to go back to posting twice a week starting next Monday, so I have time to catch up on blog reading too. Probably back to Mondays and Thursdays?

Monday, October 21, 2013

Questions #8

     When I was doing the A to Z Challenge in April, I asked my readers for some questions so that I could do a post for Q. I didn't think I would have enough questions so I asked my friend Ashley to send me some. She sent me eight hundred so I decided I would accept the challenge and answer them all (like she also decided) but I would split it up with posts. I'll be continuing from where I left off from the previous post. You can see the rest here.

     (For the record, this post was written when she sent me the list for the Challenge, so not all of the answers are completely up to date.)

     Until October 31st you can send me a link to your blog post about bullying being bad and stuff and I will include it in a thank you post on November 1st. You can see my post here. I'll have a real post right before I move in November. After that, I'll try to get back to posting regularly again. Until the move, I can't promise anything.

     Also, Brother now has a blog. And a name. Go say hi. Click here.

176) Do you love or hate facebook?
     Neither. I use it to keep up with my family who doesn't know how to use a phone but people really piss me off on there.

177) Who was the last person to knock/ring at your door?
     Technically, Mr Fix-It was the last to knock, but the plumber guy came here afterwards. Mom just saw him and met him outside so he never knocked. (Updated- Um... Some guy to pay Mom's rent?)

178) How old were you when you last went trick or treating?
     Twelve. I didn't get shit for candy nor did I see any good Halloween decorations. It was a sad time.

179) Have you ever been bobbing for apples?
     Ew, no. I don't mind sharing drinks or food or whatever, but its a whole different story when you're putting your face in water a bunch of strangers got their spit in.

180) What's your most expensive piece of clothing?
     Probably one of my dresses from Hot Topic.

181) What's the last thing you took a picture of?
     A bunny Mr Fix-It found that I became friends with. We took it to a no kill shelter and it was adopted before we even signed the paperwork to hand it over. Otherwise, screenshots of either my phone or something on my laptop. Not sure. (Updated- Um.. The last picture on my phone is of a party that took up the entire restaurant. I have a video that will be in later though.)

182) What's the last thing you drew a picture of?
     I don't draw. I did color in a Cinderella coloring book though because I was bored. (Updated- I draw on the floor chat at work. I don't remember what the last thing was of.)

183) Have you ever bought anything from ebay?
     Nope. My grandma and uncle used to have a purse business on there though and they gave me a few free purses.

184) What's your favorite smell/scent?
     Hazelnut candles or the Paris perfume from Bath And Body Works.

185) Can you blow bubbles with bubblegum?
     I used to be able to but I'm not sure if I still can. Probably.

186) What was your favorite birthday?
     I wrote about that story here. My tenth birthday when I went horseback riding.

187) Can you curl your tongue?
     Yeah.

188) Is your bellybutton an innie or an outie?
     Innie.

189) What would be your dream car?
     I used to like Mustang Convertibles (especially the pretty blue ones) but even if my hair is up, it ends up so messed up that its kind of sad.

190) Are you left or right handed?
     Right. When I was little, I could use both my hands equally, but my teacher forced me to pick which hand to use.

191) What was the last book you read?
     The Night Circus by Eric Morgenstern. I'm not done with it yet. The last book I finished was an Earth Science book for my online school. Not a fun book to read. (Updated- I'm sad I can't update this.)

192) What was the last song you danced to?
     I have no idea.

193) Have you ever owned a yo-yo?
     I owned many yo-yos. I could just never use them.

194) Have you ever been on a pogo stick?
     I want to say that I tried but couldn't. Either that or no. I don't remember.

195) Have you ever been on a space hopper?
     What's a space hopper?

196) Who was the last person to send you a text message?
     My mom. She blew up my phone while I was at Wolfy's and now that her boss is in town, she's blowing up my phone because she's bored. (Updated- Wolfy. He's asking about how the packing is coming along.)

197) Have you ever accidentally injured someone?
     Yeah. Once, I accidentally punched my dad in the nose and then elbowed him in a... sensitive area, the following week. I still laugh about it but it really was all accidental.

198) Are you scared of spiders?
     Terrified.

199) Can you down a pint (of anything) in one?
     Never tried and the answer is probably no.

200) Have you ever been banned from a public place?
     Not yet.

201) How much spam email do you tend to get a week?
     About two emails a day on my personal account and about two emails a week on the blog account.

202) If you could learn any language fluently, what would it be?
     German.

203) What historical figure would you love to see in 21st century life?
     Anyone who's dreams came true for the better, so that they could see the amazing things they accomplished.

204) As a kid, were you frightened of the monster under the bed or in the cupboard?
     I wasn't ever really scared of monsters. Ghosts and demons on the other hand... I would say mirrors, above all else.

205) Do you like clowns?
     Not really. Some are okay and funny, but all I really remember is being a little kid and my parents taking me to the circus. I didn't like the way the clown I spoke to looked at me. It just gave me the creeps. That's usually what I remember for clowns.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Unity Day 2013

     October is Bullying Awareness Month and October 9th is Unity Day. Last year, I dedicated an entire week from NaBloPoMo to write about different things involving bullying. This year, I'm just going to write one post and it's something that I'm going to do every year on Unity Day. Every year, you're all invited to join in and email me your posts or videos or whatever, so that I can share it with my readers as well. (Well, the three of you that are left since I keep disappearing for a month at a time.)

     I went into the details about how I was bullied last year, so you can click the links below if you would like to see the specifics of it, but this year I just don't have it in me. Writing about the effects is difficult enough, but if you have any questions for me, I will answer them. I just don't currently have the emotional ability to go into the exact details of the events like I did before.

     If you want to see my posts from last year, you can click anywhere here:



     This year, I'm going to talk more about the effects that it can cause. I'm assuming you know what bullying is so I shouldn't really have to explain it. But just in case I have a bully reading this and they don't realize that they're a bully, basically it means that you attack somebody else. It can be done physically, mentally, emotionally, online, offline, by friends, by family, by strangers, by anyone. Nobody deserves it, not somebody who made a mistake and not even the bully themselves.

     I was called stupid, weird, a loser, a geek, too fat, too skinny, a nerd, untalented, etc. People didn't like my hair, my face, my voice, my personality, or just generally my existence to sum it up. If I would have died, I doubt anyone besides my mom and the two or three people I was friends with would have noticed or cared. I was grabbed, shoved against lockers, pushed down stairs, followed around, rumors were spread, secrets were told. People stole stuff from my locker, which we had to pay to replace and I was accused of lying about it by the PE coach, who said I just wanted attention. The list goes on, but you get the idea.

     I literally thank God that all of this happened before everyone in my generation was using the internet, because that only makes it worse. I was damn lucky not to have to deal with that as well when I was in school, but that's one of the biggest places that people are bullied.

     When I was younger, I had such low self-esteem that it was virtually non-existent. None at all, really. I hated what I saw in the mirror and I did everything I could to avoid looking in one. I was never good enough for anyone. All I saw was the person that the bullies wanted me to believe I was. I just turned twenty years old and after getting out of public school when I was thirteen, I still struggle with it. That's seven years and there are days where I still see that girl they wanted me to believe I was, even though I know I will never be that person.

     Most days are better now. I don't hate myself anymore. I'm still learning to find qualities that I really like about myself and I try to think of at least one a day, even if its the same one. For example, I love how honest I am and I love how people ask for my advice. I love how good I am with kids and animals, even though I'm still convinced old people hate me. I really like my eyes and I like my hair. Even three years ago, I wouldn't have said anything on that list. If you asked me what I liked about myself, I would have had to bullshit some answer so that I wouldn't worry whoever asked me, if I thought they cared enough to worry.

     I have trouble sitting with my back to people I don't trust very well, because I'm still worried that somebody else is going to grab or shove me from behind. On that note, I basically don't trust anyone. I have a very short list of people who I trust at all, and an even shorter list of people that I trust fully. On the list of people that I trust fully: My mom, my boyfriend, Sissi, and Brother. That's all.

     I highly doubt I will ever fully get over my trust issues, but I'm still so much better than I was a few years ago. Thirteen year old me didn't trust a single person in the world because I thought that was the only way that I would survive.

     Not that I was sure that I really wanted to survive.

     The bullying put me into such a depression that I seriously considered several things to make it all stop. First, let me explain what depression feels like, for those of you who think it just means you're a little sad. It's so much more than that. It feels like you're drowning in a black hole but nobody even notices. It's hidden behind fake smiles, fake laughs, and the act of looking happy while you feel like you're literally dying from the inside. No matter how fast you run towards anything happy, you can't get to it in time to escape the darkness.

     There comes a point when you reach a breaking point. For some, it's alcohol or drugs. Others use self-harm, such as cutting themselves. Those were my top three options. I thought about it every single day. Literally the only reason that I never did, was because I made a promise to a friend that I wouldn't do what he was, and he checked in on me every single day to make sure I kept that promise. Some people starve themselves or go so far as to break their own bones, because they need to feel anything besides the depression.

     Then there's the final breaking point: suicide.

     That's something else that I thought about. The lowest point I reached was when I was seventeen. I had escaped the bullying from school, but bullies aren't just in school. It seemed like I was never going to get away from it and I was never going to escape the depression that was eating me away. I won't list the ways I considered because I refuse to give anyone any ideas, but there was a pretty long list. To this day, I don't know what pulled me through when I was so willing to die to get away from it all. Faith, maybe? It was the one thing I never gave up on.

     Things have gotten better since that point. I don't cry myself to sleep every night and I don't think about the easiest way to die. I want to live now and I want to keep fighting back, to be the person that I want to be, not be who everyone thinks I am. I don't know if I'll ever fully get over all of the bullying that I went though, but I do know that I refuse to stop fighting back when I know things always get better.

     There are so many people who never had a chance to escape it, until they reached that final breaking point. Amanda Todd is one example. She's still being bullied and she's been dead over a year. Another example is Rebecca Sedwick, who was twelve years old and killed herself just a few weeks ago. Not everyone is lucky enough to survive and even more struggle with lifelong problems- emotional, mental, and physical.

     Trying to lock it all away and never think about it only hurt me, and it will only hurt everyone else who doesn't speak up. Trying to pretend  that it never happened and trying to forget it all just make things worse. The only way that things will get better for anyone is to talk about it. I promise that my next post will be something happier, but this is something that people needs to understand, so that things can get better for those who have been affected by bullying.





**Due to news stories talking about people going overboard, trying to stop bulling, I feel the need to put a disclaimer here. I do NOT encourage, endorse, or support anyone doing anything illegal, harmful, criminal, violent, or dangerous activity. This is about stopping people from being hurt. This is NOT about hurting anyone in any way, shape, or form. Any links involving anyone going over the top and handling things inappropriately will not be posted on my blog, Twitter, or anywhere else by myself. If I find a link that involves anything inappropriate, I will delete it, and if possible, I will report it. Also, I am not an expert on this matter. I have included the links to the sources I got my information from and give full credit to whoever did the actual research, that I am using here.**

Monday, October 7, 2013

Questions #7

     When I was doing the A to Z Challenge in April, I asked my readers for some questions so that I could do a post for Q. I didn't think I would have enough questions so I asked my friend Ashley to send me some. She sent me eight hundred so I decided I would accept the challenge and answer them all (like she also decided) but I would split it up with posts. I'll be continuing from where I left off from the previous post. You can see the other posts by going here.

     (For the record, this post was written when she sent me the list for the Challenge, so not all of the answers are completely up to date.)

150) Can you build a house of cards?
     A really small house, yes.

151) What's your favorite TV ad?
     The freecreditreport.com ones that they had a few years ago. Before they changed the people that played.

152) Can you play poker?
     No. I can almost play blackjack though.

153) If your parents hated your partner that you're currently loved, would you ditch him or carry on with him despite the protests?
     If they had a valid reason (for example, knowing that he was an abuser) then I would listen to their advice. However, if they didn't have a valid reason, I would carry on with him. They should support my decisions to be with the person I love. If that caused problems, then so be it.

154) Have you ever been professionally photographed?
     When I was a toddler, at school, and when I went to see my uncle's family when I was about eight.

155) Have you ever baked your own cake?
     Yes and it was the best boxed cake ever.

156) What's your favorite fruit pastel color?
     I do not understand this question. I like the color purple though and I like oranges.

157) What traditionally adorns the top of your Christmas tree?
     For a long time, it was an angel that lit up with different colors. When we moved, we only had room for a tiny little tree and all that fits is a red star.

158) What would be your dream sandwich?
     Depends on what kind of mood I'm in. I usually love tuna sandwiches though.

159) Can you impersonate anyone famous?
     I can only impersonate a redneck with a crappy accent.

160) Can you do any accents other than your own?
     Not intentionally.

161) Do you have a strong local accent?
     I have a noticeable Texas-southern accent, but I would only say its strong with it comes to certain words. It gets much stronger when I'm around people with either accent. That tends to bring out that side of it more than usual.

162) What's your favorite accent?
     Australian.

163) In O's and X's, which do you normally pick?
     In Tic-Tac-Toe? For hugs or kisses? I usually pick X's because my O's look fucked up.

164) Do you prefer blue or black inked pens?
     Blue, but given the choice I like purple and red even more.

165) What was the last thing you recorded off TV?
     Invent a time machine so I can go back to being thirteen and find out.

166) What was the last thing you dressed up for as fancy dress?
     It wasn't really fancy, but it was a Christmas party at work. Before then, it was a school dance all the way back in 7th grade, which I only went to because people begged me.

167) Do you prefer green or red grapes?
     Green.

168) What do you like on your toast?
     Peanutbutter!

169) Do you prefer liquid soap or bars of soap?
     Liquid. Bar soaps dry out my skin.

170) How do you have your eggs?
     Usually fried sunny side up, with a little bit of salt on top. If they are anything less than hot (even luke warm), I will not touch them. Cold eggs are disgusting.

171) What's your favorite saying?
     I don't know. I saw a sign that said, "Forget the dog, beware of the owner" that made me laugh.

172) Have you ever been in a tug of war?
     As a tugger and as the rope.

173) And did you win?
     Not when I was the rope. That just ended in sore arms.

174) Can you stand on your hands unassisted?
     I can't even stand on my hands with assistance.

175) What do you have on your fridge door?
     Car magnates about dogs and cats that my mom bought.

Monday, September 30, 2013

First Unity Day Reminder

     Last year, I wrote a post every day for a week in November. Those posts were about the statistics of bullying, an exorcise to show what bullying is like, a list of famous people who were bullied and the outcomes, and my story in part one and part two. I invited all of my readers to join me in writing their own stories and at the end of the week, I posted a new post with full credits and links to those stories. I also created an Anti-Bullying page so those stories will not get completely buried.

     This year, instead of doing something in November, I'm going to do something on Unity Day. October is Anti-Bullying Month and October 10th is Unity Day. I want all of you to write a post some time during that month, about bullying. Those who do it on Unity Day will be listed first in my contributors post on November first of this year, but if you write a post any time during that month, I will include you.

     I had a couple people who wrote the posts, but did not email me the link. If you don't email me the link, I probably won't know about it. You can email it to me at pertinax_puella@hotmail.com. If you want to invite your readers to do the same, please make sure you tell them to email me their page so that I can add them to the list of contributors as a thank you. Like I said last year, I would give you all a puppy, but I can't, so this is the best I can do.

     If you have any questions, please just ask me. If you want to see last years posts, the links are all in the first paragraph. If you're scared to talk about something that happened, I understand. I honestly do. I was fighting tears the entire time I wrote my story and that was two long posts. But believe me, it helps to know that it is all out in the open and that your story can change someone's life.

     Just to be clear, the post can be anything from a written blog to a video on youtube. It can be a simply paragraph just saying that bullying is a bad thing that should not be done. I just want something to be said to bring awareness to it. You guys all have a hell of a lot more readers than I do and you will reach more people than I will, if you just tell them what Unity Day is all about and why it is important.

     Speak the fuck up people.





**Due to news stories talking about people going overboard, trying to stop bulling, I feel the need to put a disclaimer here. I do NOT encourage, endorse, or support anyone doing anything illegal, harmful, criminal, violent, or dangerous activity. This is about stopping people from being hurt. This is NOT about hurting anyone in any way, shape, or form. Any links involving anyone going over the top and handling things inappropriately will not be posted on my blog, Twitter, or anywhere else by myself. If I find a link that involves anything inappropriate, I will delete it, and if possible, I will report it. Also, I am not an expert on this matter. I have included the links to the sources I got my information from and give full credit to whoever did the actual research, that I am using here.**

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Rebecca Sedwick

     I'm not sure if you've heard of her yet, but she was a child who was bullied to death by a group of girls who used to be her best friends. Why did they bully her? "Boyfriend trouble in 2009". That's when they were nine to ten years old, back when they should still think that boys have cooties. Not bullying someone. Not causing them to cut themselves or jump off a cement silo to kill themselves.

     I watched it on the news, because that was what the TV was on when I woke up. I caught the last part, which said something about her asking questions such as "How many Advil do you have to take to die?" and "How do you get the blades out of a razor?" When I saw that, I was terrified that another victim of bullying had made the news for killing herself, so I kept the TV on.. and I was right.

     The worst thing about bullying, is that its torture. They might as well have just pushed her to her death to begin with and saved her all of the pain, the depression, the brokenness that comes with being bullied. It would be the same result, but she wouldn't have suffered with messages telling her that she was ugly, stupid, a waste of space, telling her that she should just go kill herself because nobody cared about her. I'm not saying that murder is a good thing, but it is the exact same thing as bullying and I hope with every fiber of my being that those bullies are caught and have to face murder charges.

     "That's harsh! They're just kids!"

     Well you know what, so was she. And now Rebecca is dead.

     She will never go to highschool, go to prom, fall in love, get married, have kids, have grandkids, make stupid mistakes in college that she'll laugh about when she's 30. She'll never even be 30 or an adult for that matter. No sweet 16, no graduation. She won't see her sister grow up or tell her mother that she was sorry for all the arguments when she was a teenager, that she didn't actually know everything like every teenager thinks they do.

     And why won't she get to do any of those things?

     Because those girls attacked her mercilessly. They attacked her even though she was pulled out of her elementary school, homeschooled, and sent to a new school. They never stopped attacking her, bullying her, slowly killing her. This is their fault and they need to suffer the consequences for it.

     And do you know what makes this even worse?

     Millions of people are being bullied right now, right this very second. How many more will follow Rebecca's example? It's not just Rebecca Sedwick, Amanda Todd, or Demi Lovato who are being bullied. They're just some of the people you know about.

     Now go give your children hugs and pray that they will never go through what Rebecca did.





     I saw it on the TV channel HLN but you can read her story here or here.


**I just want to put a disclaimer here, that I do not promote, endorse, or approve of anything that could potentially harm or kill someone. The phrase "They might as well have just pushed her to her death to begin with and saved her all the pain, the depression, the brokenness that comes with being bullied." is meant to illustrate how bad bullying really is. It does not at all mean that I approve of harming or killing anyone else, or yourself. **

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Things I Learned Working In A Restaurant II

     Remember last November when I wrote the first post? No? Yeah, I figured. It's pretty self explanatory though. That was a list of twenty-five things I learned as a runner/hostess as a brand new employee. So now I'm going to add some more things to that list, that I learned working both of those jobs and as a server. You can read the first half here, which I recommend because I was pretty proud of it. 


26) When asked how you're enjoying your food, if your answer is, "We're fine. Thanks." the server will know that it is time to leave you alone. That is pretty much the dismissal phrase, which I learned because of the tone of voice it is typically said in.

27) The server will tell you their name for a reason. Fucking learn their name because reaching out to grab them to get their attention is not okay, nor is yelling, "Waitress!" across half the restaurant.

28) Servers are judgmental bitches.

29) If you say you're not a judgmental bitch and you are a server, you're lying.

30) An alarming amount of young children know what diet drinks are and eat like they've been obese for years.

31) Just because you say, "Can you get my server? Its the tall guy." does not mean that the person you are asking will have any idea who you are talking about.

32) It is not helpful when you say "My table was over there" and point to an entirely different room.

33) It's worse when you make the server laugh and joke with them for an hour, then leave them a shitty tip, than when you're a complete bitch to them and leave them a shitty tip, because you got their hopes up.

34) If you tip less than 20%, you will annoy the server.

35) If you tip less than 15%, you will make the server mildly angry.

36) If you tip less than 10%, you will be remembered and not in a good way.

37) If you tip more than 20%, you will make your server extremely happy.

38) People actually do random acts of kindness and pay for a stranger's meal.

39) It was so sweet that I almost started crying when it happened to my table, because they almost started crying.

40) If you have more than four people going out to eat, call to make sure there is a table.

41) If you have more than six people going out to eat and you don't call, everyone will be pissed off that they have to drop everything to set up your table when their other customers are waiting and your table could have been set up prior.

42) Even if you entertain a customer for two hours and laugh the entire time, sell them wine, appetizers, some of the expensive dinner dishes, keep their drinks full, and push the guy in a wheelchair to a bathroom... they might still leave you a 36 cent tip.

43) If you tell a fellow server about that, she will probably say, "You should have chased him down! I would have. There would have been some words, if you know what I mean."

44) You will know what she means and you will agree.

45) Multicolored pens help you stay organized.

46) You will be made fun of for being so organized.

47) A coworker and I have a theory that the multicolored pens will get you better tips.

48) If you stack your dishes for the server to take before you leave, you will make things a million times easier on them.

49) Sometimes the server will slip up with their routine because its been a long day, they are tired, or they are extremely busy. Don't take it out on them. Just laugh it off and make things easier on them.
Example that I did the other day, because I was distracted working on a party:
"Hi guys. My name is Rachel and I'll be taking care of you. How are ya'll doing?"
"We're good. How are you?"
"I'm doing good. Can I get ya'll something to drink?....-notices the silence-....-looks at table-......Or you already have drinks. Okay. Oops."

50) Paying in credit cards is a lot easier, but cash tips are way better.

Saturday, August 31, 2013

The Rogue Ski Ball

     Today started off pretty slowly. I was at work for an hour and a half before the first table even walked in. I had  three tables in my entire 4 1/2 hour shift, but it wasn't all bad since they about 20% tips and one of them was a birthday party of seven. Extremely slow, but considering I worked about 9 hours yesterday with about 4 hours of sleep, I was fine so I wouldn't have to run around.

     I even got free lunch because last night, an extra hour of that was me hostessing between the time I served tables and the time I was supposed to clean them and do my side work. Because the girl who was hostessing had to go to her birthday party. So I got free lunch and got to clock in from the $2.13 and hour to a whopping $5 an hour! But I got the second most expensive dish on the menu, so I can't complain about that either.

     Plus, Mr Fix-It snuck me a piece of some dessert that they made for something. I'm not really sure. I was at a table eating and he ran out and handed me a little plate and said "Here, try this. Its the brownie with the chocolate pie!" and then he ran back into the kitchen. I'm still not really sure what it was, but it was good and I'm not dead, so whatever.

     I got home and changed into pajamas, then Mom suddenly tells me, "Its not going to storm. Lets go to the fair!"

     The food was gross and she almost choked on a lemon seed from our lemonade, but we played that game where you have to pick a duck out of a little swimming pool. The guy said that it was two dollars per play so Mom gave him four dollars, so we could both play. Then she asked how many ducks she had to pick up.

     The guy told her that she had to pick up the number of ducks for "two times five". She picked up ten ducks and he looked at me. I asked him if I had to pick up the same number for my turn and he told me "Pick up the number for one times one". So I asked him "Just one duck?" and he gave me this look so I was positive that I was wrong, but I couldn't figure out how. It turns out he's worse at math than me because he didn't even know the answer to the question.

     But that's not what I'm trying to write about. That's not the big, attempted murder thing that happened tonight.

     When I was little, I could have sworn it was my mom who taught me how to play ski ball. I really thought it was her. I remember playing at a fair when I was little and at Chuck E Cheese's, so I guess I assumed it was her since she was the one I was always with. But all of that was proven wrong tonight.

     The goal was to get like 200 points with 6 balls. I played twice and got 160 the first time and 140 the second. Mom played once and the balls kept bouncing back. I showed her how to roll them up and tried to explain how hard to do so. Then she played again. More actually made it in...until the last one.

     The last ball rolled up fast, bounced off one of the numbers, bounced off the cage around the game, and came flying back down. I reached down to try to catch it and took a step backwards, but it still hit my leg, bounced off and went rolling away. The game dude had to chase it. Had I not moved, it would have hit my knee. Had I not reached out to catch it but it bounced off my fingers... Well, let's just say its a very good thing I'm not a boy because that would have really hurt. He tried to hand the ski ball back to my mom and I snatched it away and just said "No. Don't even." Then I threw it for her.

     I'm already getting a pretty big bruise on my leg. I told Mom that I will never play ski ball with her again unless I'm wearing a helmet and shin guards since she turned it into a combat sport. Not a contact sport, but a combat sport, because it felt like a war zone after that.

     If anyone sees the giant bruise I'm going to have on my leg, I have decided that saying, "I was playing ski ball with my mom" is too boring. I'm going to say, "A rogue ski ball came out of no where and tried to break my leg."

     Some good did come of this though. If I'm mad or scared of something, all I have to do is say, "Back the fuck off or I'll make you play ski ball with my mom."

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Questions #6

     When I was doing the A to Z Challenge in April, I asked my readers for some questions so that I could do a post for Q. I didn't think I would have enough questions so I asked my friend Ashley to send me some. She sent me eight hundred so I decided I would accept the challenge and answer them all (like she also decided) but I would split it up with posts. I'll be continuing from where I left off from the previous post. You can see the other questions here.

     (For the record, this post was written when she sent me the list for the Challenge, so not all of the answers are completely up to date.)


121) What's the longest you've grown your hair?
     Passed the middle of my back, that I remember. Momma said I had long hair when I was little but I don't know how long. I miss my long hair.

122) There isn't a question for 122 and I think it's freaking hilarious because she asked me eight hundred questions but apparently skipped over a number.

123) Are you scared of flying?
     Absolutely.

124) Would you rather trade some intelligence for looks or looks for intelligence?
     By trading looks for intelligence, I can be smart enough to become super rich and hire a plastic surgeon so that will be my choice.

125) Have you ever tie-dyed your own clothes?
     I remember something about that for a school field trip when I was in the 3rd grade, but I don't think I did it myself. I think we just provided the shirts for the teacher so we could all have matching shirts to make sure nobody got lost.

126) How often do you buy new clothes?
     Too often. I have too many clothes.

127) Are you reliable?
     I try to be but I feel like I'm not.

128) Are you proud of yourself?
     I've answered over 120 questions in the past three hours so that I can have some back-up posts when I'm too tired/lazy to think of anything. I am very proud of myself right now.

129) Have you ever had a secret admirer?
     Not to my knowledge.

130) If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?
     "What can I do to make everyone around me happy?"

131) Do you hold grudges?
     I try not to. I try to forgive and move on, but not forget. But I do. Its something I've been working on for about five years now.

132) If you could breed two animals together, to defy the laws of nature, what would you create?
     I would breed the immortal jellyfish with any animal that is going extinct. That way they don't die off in the wild since enough jerk poachers are killing them too.

133) Do you decorate the outside of your house for Christmas?
     Where I live, the decorations would grow legs and disappear in the middle of the night, so no.

134) Can you solve sudoku puzzles?
     I would need about a week, ten boxes of tissues, and some nerve pills but yes.

135) Have you ever played conkers?
     What's conkers?

136) What's the most unusual conversation you've ever had? (probably with me)
     I really don't know. I have such weird conversations that they seem normal now. You, Wolfy, Sissi, Brother, and Momma are all people who have had to deal with the weirdest conversations ever.

137) Are you much of a gambler?
     Nope. The only thing I know how to play is blackjack and even then, I only sort of know how to play. (My mom is gonna see this and pull out a deck of cards since she's the one who taught me to sorta play blackjack.)

138) Are you much of a daredevil?
     Not really. I do stupid things without thinking but I don't do dangerous stunts or anything. You see, I am so clumsy that Tonks would take pity on me, so I don't need to add dangerous stunts to that.

139) Are you a good liar?
     I absolutely hate lying and I avoid it the best that I can. If needed, I usually just twist my words so that I know what I mean but the person I'm talking to doesn't. That being said, yes, I'm a good liar.

140) Are you a good judge of character?
     For the most part, I believe so. I'm not perfect at it but I'm pretty decent.

141) Are you any good at charades?
     Never played. The most I do is when I lose my voice and can't speak. Well, I did that, before I got texting on my phone.

142) How long could you go without talking?
     Unreasonably long. Like, I already barely talk, so I could probably go a few days without actually talking. I think that even I would avoid that though because it would hurt my throat and it would be pretty lonely.

143) What has been your worst haircut/style?
     I'm just going to exclude the time some so-called hairstylist destroyed my hair and made it start falling out, because it looked nice at first. It would be the time I went to a stylist to get layers cut in my hair. She took most of my hair and cut it to my chin but I had a little loose hair (the bottom layer) that was at my shoulders. I was not pleased. The dye job was pretty bad as well.

144) Can you iceskate?
     I only went once. I arrived with light blue jeans. I spent so much time falling down on the ice that I left with dark blue jeans that were soaked all the way through.

145) Can you summersault?
     I used to be able to when I took gymnastics when I was little, but that's been thirteen years or so, so no.

146) What's your favorite joke?
     I don't have one because if you use a joke too much, it gets boring.

147) What's been your best present?
     I'm not sure. There have been too many presents where I know they were given to me from the heart so I can't pick.

148) What's been your worst present?
     I don't know by item, but it would be a present from a certain member of my family who believes money is equal to love.

149) Have you ever sleepwalked?
     Yes. I've even fallen asleep walking.

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Big News

     Its not news, but I'll say it now: I am the worst blog poster ever. I'm horrible at writing posts and actually posting them now. Somebody should like... tweet me or something to tell me that I haven't posted in a few days and to fix that problem. I'm not even kidding.

     I know this is a day early, but I want to post this now so you can go tell give her birthday wishes! Tomorrow is Kianwi's birthday!!! Happy birthday Kianwi!!! You're one of the nicest people I've met while blogging and I really consider you to be a really good friend. I hope you have a good birthday. =)

     Anyways, the actual news... Firstly, I got my first request at work today. I've waited on him a few times and we're on first name basis because he's the coupon guy. Normally, it's my turn anyways and he just sits in my section, but today it was somebody else's turn and he specifically asked me to sit in my section. Then he introduced me to the work people he was having a meeting with, like I was a friend instead of just their waitress. And he left me a $15 on a $52 bill. It was a good shift.

     Secondly, my dad's mom gave me a shitton of romance novels that I found when we moved over here. I've called all around to find a used book store to sell them to but nobody buys them. Nobody I know wants them (at least, nobody that I can just send them to because that would get very expensive, very fast). So if anybody is interested in romance novels, let me know and we can work out some sort of deal. If anyone is interested in them, let me know and I will email you with a full list of books. If enough people are interested, I'll write a blog post and cross them off as I get rid of them. For the love of my sanity, please help me get rid of these books. There are like forty of them.

     Thirdly, I got my license yesterday. I had an appointment (apparently, they're required now?) and I was pushed ahead of like 20 other people. Then, the tester was a complete and utter bitch. The husband of the woman testing before me called me over just to warn me about her. He gave me all the pointers that she had been failed on last month and then the tester went into the DMV, after yelling at us (Mom and I- even though she wasn't supposed to be with me) for not being in the car for the last 15 minutes waiting on her. A state trooper rescued me and tested me instead. He said that only stuff I missed, I would have gotten if I had driven more to begin with and it was obvious I wasn't able to practice enough. But I passed with an 88 and he said I was a good driver, so yay for that.

     Finally, the really big news (which is at the end for dramatic effect), I'm going to be moving in with my boyfriend in November. That one is pretty self explanatory. Everyone knows except his roommate and my dad's side of the family. (This is one of the reasons I need to get rid of the books now, because I don't want them and I could use any extra money from selling them to go towards my move.) But yeah, I'll keep ya'll updated as it gets closer to moving time and once I get there.

Friday, July 12, 2013

Questions #5


     When I was doing the A to Z Challenge in April, I asked my readers for some questions so that I could do a post for Q. I didn't think I would have enough questions so I asked my friend Ashley to send me some. She sent me eight hundred so I decided I would accept the challenge and answer them all (like she also decided) but I would split it up with posts. I'll be continuing from where I left off from the previous post. You can see the other questions here.

     (For the record, this post was written when she sent me the list for the Challenge, so not all of the answers are completely up to date.)


94) What type of music do you like?
     I typically listen to country and rock. I don't like rap. Generally, I'll listen to anything at least once.

95) Have you ever been skinnydipping?
     No, but one of my friends (who isn't a friend anymore and shouldn't have been to begin with...) tried to make me go once. She was a preacher's daughter and we were about 12 or 13 at the time. I refused to go.

96) How many pillows do you sleep with?
     Just one, unless they're really flat pillows.

97) What position do you often sleep in?
     My side or my stomach. Usually my side.

98) What do you wear to bed?
     Comfy shirts that are typically too big and comfy PJ pants or shorts.

99) How big is your house?
     Not that big. It was set up for one person, but there are two living in it.

100) Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?
     Sunrises, because I rarely ever see them and it means a new day is beginning.

101) What do you typically have for breakfast?
     I don't usually eat breakfast. I usually wait until lunch.

102) Do you like scary movies?
     Yes, and that is a problem, because I do not have a tolerance for scary movies anymore so I always end up being scared.

103) What's your favorite milkshake flavor?
     Peanutbutter.

104) Have you ever been in a newspaper?
     The school newspaper in 7th grade, which I wrote articles for. And at least one newspaper when I was in 4th grade (I think) because my grades were so high. That's all I'm aware of.

105) How long can you balance on one foot?
     Long enough to put my pants on, if I'm lucky.

106) Have you ever fired a gun?
     Yep. I'm a pretty good shot, if I do say so myself.

107) Have you ever tried archery?
     Not yet, but I would like to.

108) What's your favorite condiment?
     I don't really have one. I like different things for different foods.

109) What's your favorite clean word?
     Apalachicola. It's a town in waaaay south Alabama. The word is just fun to say.

110) What's your favorite swear word?
     Mother fucker. Specifically used in the phrase, "look here mother fucker".

111) What's your least favorite word?
     There are a few that I'm not comfortable saying. One has the initials GD and one starts with the letter N. I refuse to use those words and I do not like them at all.

112) What was the last film you saw?
     Assuming you mean movie and not in the theater, it was Spiderman 3. Or whatever the correct name is. I think. (hahaha Written so long ago, that was still right. I watched something last night but I was too tired to remember what. Mom also watches Lifetime a lot but that doesn't count.)

113) What football team do you support?
     I don't really care about sports but my boyfriend wants me to support the Steeler's so I guess that's my answer?

114) What's the longest you've gone without sleep?
     I'm not sure of the exact amount because I was pretty out of it, but it was going on 72 hours.

115) What's the tallest building you've ever been up?
     I'm not sure because my uncle used to take me on top of skyscrapers when I visited him. The one I remember is the Reunion Tower in Dallas Texas. At least, that's what Google says the name of it is.

116) Do you have any scars?
     A few, but they're not really noticeable.

117) Do you like marmite?
     I don't know what that is so I don't have an answer.

118) Did you ever win any sportsday events?
     I'm almost certain I've never won anything to do with sports, ever.

119) What did you want to be when you grew up?
     A teacher, a vet, and a singer are the main three things that I wanted to be. I can't deal with 30 kids all alone, I hate blood, and I can't sing so they're all out of the question.

120) If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be?
     My self-esteem because I know it freaking sucks because I can think of thirty things to answer this question with, without even trying.

Monday, July 8, 2013

Things I Did As A Little Kid

     My grandma called while we were eating dinner today. Somehow, we ended up on the subject of something that I did when I was a little kid. I thought about it for a few minutes and realized quite a few things from then and now. I have a bunch of little kid stories so if ya'll like this, I'll probably write another post like this.


1) I could never do math.
     When I was in pre-k, I was writing out three letter words and a couple four letter words like "fish". It might have had to do with the fact my birthday was 22 days after the cut off date for the year, so I was four instead of three. However, then I have to remember the fact that I once got into a huge fight with the only friend I had. He thought the numbers went "twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty". I was convinced it went "twenty-eight, twenty-nine, twenty-ten" because "thirty didn't make sense". I'm proud to say that I can now count but my math skills haven't improved by much.


2) My dog was a saint.
     The second I was given a walker, I figured out how to use it and I was gone. Simple as that. My mom had had a dog since she was fourteen, who she still had until I was about five. That dog used to stand over me and growl if anyone else tried to get near me. After I was in the walker, I used to chase her around the house screaming "DUN-DARRR" at the top of my lungs because I couldn't pronounce her name. She never bit me even though she really should have after that.


3) I was an arrogant little diva.
     Until I was like five or six, I used to stare at myself in the mirror and I was obsessed with how I looked. All the time. Pretty self-explanatory. I have no idea why I used to do that but I don't like mirrors anymore, especially when its dark.


4) I never really liked people.
     I always hid behind Mom when people would try to talk to me, even if it was family. I never wanted to talk to anyone and I remember a few times when I almost started crying because they would comment on how shy I was because I didn't want to talk to them. I was much happier around the couple of friends I had, or around any animals.


5) Not a fuck was given.
     The story my grandma told me was that when I was about three or four, my grandpa was trying to light a fire in the fireplace. I kept warning him that he was going to get burned but he didn't want to listen, no matter how many times I told him, so I went to my grandma and sat down next to her. I told her, "I warned him. Oh well." Mom said I must have jinxed him because the newspaper he was using kept catching on fire and flying out at him. I remember just sitting there like, "Well, I did warn you."

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Questions #4

     When I was doing the A to Z Challenge in April, I asked my readers for some questions so that I could do a post for Q. I didn't think I would have enough questions so I asked my friend Ashley to send me some. She sent me eight hundred so I decided I would accept the challenge and answer them all (like she also decided) but I would split it up with posts. I'll be continuing from where I left off from the previous post. You can see the other posts by going here and here and here.

     (For the record, this post was written when she sent me the list for the Challenge, so not all of the answers are completely up to date.)


70) How many hats do you own?
     Three.

71) Are you any good at pool?
     I'll let you know if I ever play.

72) What's the highest you've ever jumped into the water from?
     Probably just the side of the pool but I'm not positive.

73) Have you ever been admitted to hospital?
     To go to the ER for something, yeah. I don't think I was ever kept overnight or anything though. Even when my eardrum ruptured when I was six, I wasn't kept overnight.

74) Have you ever had any brushes with the law?
     Maybe? In sixth grade, my teacher and the principle didn't keep attendance properly. I had to deal with a truancy officer and brought proof I was going to school, even though I was marked absent. He put me on probation for a year and told me to talk to the councilor every day (she was never there) and said if I screwed up, I would be put in Juvie. I dropped out half way through the next year because the schools here are so terrible.

75) Have you ever been on TV?
     Not to my knowledge. I was supposed to be for a school thing, but my mom wouldn't give the permission for it.

76) Have you ever met any celebrities?
     My grandparents took me with them to this thing the country group Alabama does every year. I met all four of the band members. They remembered my grandparents the next year but I was just... there.

77) Have you ever been to Legoland?
     There's such a thing as Legoland?

78) Have you ever done something heroic?
     Probably not.

79) Have you ever played a practical joke on somebody?
     Yeah. Just small things that are only half thought out though. I still laugh at my mom calling me repeatedly when I got to Wolfy's house in April, so I answered with, "Hi, he killed me." and she totally freaked out. I wasn't even trying to play a joke on her but it was better than anything I plan.

80) Have you ever been the recipient of a practical joke?
     Have you met my mom?

81) What would be your best achievement to date?
     Not turning out like most of the people in my family, when all of the statistics say that I should be just like them, or even worse.

82) Do you prefer baths or showers?
     Typically, showers. But baths can help my jacked up shoulder so...

83) Do you prefer towel drying, blow drying, or natural drying your hair?
     I usually dry it with a towel the best that I can and then let it finish drying from there. Blow drying it makes it poofy, dry, and irritating. (Updated before posting: I just dyed my hair redbrown so now I have to blow dry it otherwise it bleeds red everywhere and stains stuff.)

84) Have you ever built a snowman?
     Yes. It is not as easy as you think.

85) Have you ever been sledding?
     Nope.

86) Have you ever flown a kite?
     I think I did, when I was really little. I barely remember it but I think my dad took me.

87) What color socks are you wearing?
     I'm not wearing socks at the moment.

88) If you could live anywhere, where would that be?
     A place without storms. (I said that while its storming outside too.)

89) Have you ever been famous?
     Not that I'm aware of.

90) Would you like to be a big celebrity?
     In a way, yes, because I would love to have all the perks a famous person does. But in the end, no. Celebrities are bullied by thousands, or millions, of people. I've been bullied before and I don't want to go back to that.

91) Would you ever go on a reality show, if so, which one?
     I don't see myself on a reality show. I'm too quiet so I wouldn't even be allowed on.

92) How big is your TV?
     I don't own the TV; Momma does. I think its like 20 inches? I'm not really sure. That's just a guess.

93) What is your most essential appliance?
     Probably the stove. Because food.