Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Happy Thanksgiving

     I noticed a bunch of bloggers writing posts about what they're thankful for this month, mainly just a post every day with one thing in it. I didn't realize that was a thing until a few days ago so it was a bit to late to join in this year, but maybe I have a theme for NaBloPoMo next year since I skipped it this year? I'll probably forget, but that's not the point. This year, I'm going to list twenty things I'm thankful for (in no particular order) since I'm twenty years old.

  1. I'm thankful for my family. I don't get along with most of them. But I know that the only thing that's important is that I have the family that gives a damn about me.
  2. I'm thankful for my boyfriend, who I now live with, for those of you who missed that post. He makes me happy and I love him and trust him more than I thought possible.
  3. I'm thankful for my friends, a lot of them who I just recently started getting to know before the move and have no idea this blog even exists.
  4. I'm thankful for my school, even though it's a few years late for me to be working on my highschool diploma. But I am proud to say my current GPA is 3.88.
  5. I'm thankful to be financially okay. I'm by no means rich and I don't even have a job currently, but I saved enough money to be okay and still help with bills until I find a new job.
  6. I'm thankful for my health, even with the issues that I do have. Hypoglycemia, allergies, psoriasis, headaches... but nothing that is especially serious or dangerous.
  7. I'm thankful for the chances that I've been given by everyone who has help me come this far in life. Just a chance to hear me out without judgement.
  8. I'm thankful for music, which let's me get out of my head when I really need to just focus on anything else and just generally entertains me.
  9. I'm thankful for the faith that I have and the faith that people have in me, which I did not expect to ever have.
  10. I'm thankful for the things that I own. They're mostly in boxes right now and some is still at my mom's house, but I still have a lot more than most.
  11. I'm thankful for this blog, despite the fact that I post like twice a month now, because it still gives me a place to say whatever I need to say.
  12. I'm thankful for my first real job being a place that I was welcome in and gave me a chance to learn. Like I said earlier today, people work there for the experiences, not the money.
  13. I'm thankful for all the memories that I have, the good and the bad, because they made me who I am today and I think that's somebody I can be proud of.
  14. I'm thankful for all the things that I knowledge that I have. Not all of it is school based and most of it came from things I went through, but I learned how to fight back.
  15. I'm thankful for the strength to fight back and not give up, when I now realize that I have so much to lose.
  16. I'm thankful for random acts of kindness in the world, like when I had a stranger pay for somebody else's meal and refused to admit that it was them.
  17. I'm thankful for all the stories that I've heard because they always show a new perspective on things that I may have never thought of before.
  18. I'm thankful for all my girly things, like makeup or hair products, because they make me feel pretty, even on days when I feel like I look like a zombie vampire on crack again.
  19. I'm thankful for technology, which not only helped me to meet some of the most important people in my life, but lets me stay in touch with them earlly.
  20. I'm thankful to have made it to my 20th birthday earlier this year and I hope to have many more birthdays after this.

     There is my list of 20 things I'm thankful for but know I take for granted every day. I wish we all focused on what we're thankful for everyday and now that Black Friday is taking over Thanksgiving, I hope people don't forget how to be thankful.

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Um I Wrote A Thing?

     I had an English assignment for my schoolwork to write a 500 word essay about an odyssey in my life time, a book report on one of two short stories, or about the topic I chose. I chose to write about "Why do wars start and how does it effect those involved? In conclusion, describe your own personal preference in viewing or listening to fiction or drama." I got an 80% on the essay, but I was pretty proud of it anyways so I figured I would post it here. But honestly, I hate book reports and I'm not sure what an odyssey is so that's why I picked this topic. At least I posted before I even said I would!

I come from a military family. From the top of my head, I can name one great-grandfather, three grandfathers, three uncles, two aunts, a cousin, and my father who were all in the military at some point in time. Most of them have been in one war or another. I suppose that's why my heart doesn't truly understand why wars have to happen, even if I understand the logical side.

All wars do have a reason though. Usually, it's because one country doesn't agree with the way another country is being run. The countries bicker and then they break out the guns. The body count grows, the ground is stained with blood, and tears for the lost and the dead are shed by billions. No matter the reason behind it, good or bad, it always hurts those involved. Somebody always gets a hero's burial, provided they can find the body.

The Vietnam War, in specific, started because South Vietnam and North Vietnam were fighting over whether the country should be communist or not. My grandfather fought in that war because America took North Vietnam's side while China was defending South Vietnam. It is a lucky and an amazing thing, that another World War wasn't started because extra countries jumped in as allies. The war ended almost four decades ago but my grandfather has never recovered, so I find it hard to believe most veterans truly have.

It's not something that he likes to talk about. The few times anyone has gotten him to speak, he's had whiskey in one hand and a dark look on his face. I can't even imagine all the things that he and his comrades must have seen on the battlefield. Children killed, friends killed, maybe even himself in his nightmares. The war ended in 1975, but he was one of the men sent on the ground to search for snake pits. He's even scared of worms now, in fear they're small snakes in disguise. I used to garden with him as a little girl and he made sure, above all else, I never touched a worm, just in case.

I think the worst part about the fact that he was involved in a war that didn't even affect his home country, is that he lost that fight. South Vietnam eventually won and so did communism. Millions of people lost their lives, figuratively and literally. After all, when you're off in another country fighting a war, time doesn't stay still in your own home. Not to mention the psychological damage or the financial resources that were used during that time.

Knowing what I do about wars has a strong impact on who I am. I loathe violence, whether I'm reading about it or watching it. I'm the type of person who wants to be surrounded in happy or silly things, like Disney movies or stuffed animals. I suppose part of me just wants to hold onto that innocence of not knowing why worms should never be touched, just in case.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Ignore That This Is 19 Days Late

     Back on the first of November, I was supposed to link to and thank everyone who joined in for the Anti-Bullying posts this year. And then I didn't do that. But I do actually have a reason (or a few), unlike when I just don't post for like three weeks at a time and don't. My excuses?

     I picked up as many extra shifts as I could in my last two weeks of work. I had a going away party that resulted in me crying when I hugged a couple of my friends goodbye (everyone was crying though, which is the main reason I even started crying) and that left me too exhausted to write. I hung out with friends every chance I got since I knew I wouldn't be seeing them. I hung out with my mom 24/7 otherwise, literally since she is no longer working in the park because her boss is quite literally losing his mind (she's okay though, but the timing really sucks). My anti-virus thingy wouldn't turn on on my laptop. And oh yeah, I moved in with my boyfriend. Half way across the country.

     I got here two days ago and I'm just now unpacking. I ran out of hangers though and I don't know where to put my stuffed animals yet, so I figured I should write the post that's nineteen days late. Honestly, I kind of feel like I should just thank everyone on Thanksgiving since I waited this long anyways since that seems like an appropriate day to do it, but we all know that would end up posted some time in 2014 at this rate.

     There really weren't that many people who joined in this year, but I had a feeling that would happen since I stopped getting as many page views and as many comments when I stopped regularly posting. Some bloggers can get away with that. I'm not super famous or crazy/weird enough for that one, which is weird to think about considering half the shit I've written about here before.

      Shannon Lawrence not only mentioned my posts in several of her own posts to help bring attention to it, but she wrote about what her son went through when he was only a little boy. You can read that here. Then to top it off, she had it arranged for a different post about bullying to be written on her other blog. Donnell Ann Bell is actually the author of this post, which is a perspective not many people think of. And of course, Kianwi joined in again this year. Her post is more about beauty being different than what most people actually see.

     I feel like I'm forgetting to include somebody and I really, really hope that I'm not. If I did, just send me an email and I'll fix it. I can access my email from my phone but not from the laptop right now, because I forgot the password (oops) and I have to find the paper with it written on. That's why I don't have my list of bloggy people to include right now. Hopefully next year will run a lot smoother than this year did.

     But anyways, back to the whole moving thing?

     Let me just answer the top questions that every fucking person I know keeps asking me, and if you have something to add, then I'll answer it in the comments.

     "What are you going to do for work?"
     Probably work in another restaurant until I finish school and the start of the next school year, which is when daycares typically start hiring. Then I'll see if I can work in one of the daycares around here.

     "What's your mom going to do? You're so close!"
     Well, I'm assuming she's going to keep breathing, eating, sleeping, and all other things required to live. She'll get a new job where she won't be pushed towards losing her sanity by/like her boss and she'll move out of the park so she doesn't have to deal with him.

     "Are you gonna get married?" immediately followed by "Are you and that boy going to be living in sin!?"
      Bitch, stop. You cannot ask me that. That is not a thing you can ask me, especially if I work for you and we aren't even friends. Go away. We're going to live together and we're going to see what goes from there, like basically everyone from this generation does now.

     "Do you love him?"
     That's just a dumb question. Why would I live with somebody if I didn't love them? If you ask this, you have lost your privilege to ask things for the rest of the day for being dumb.

     "What does your mom/dad say?"
     Momma is supportive but not exactly happy about it. She's texting me constantly and seems to have a new found obsession with cleaning now that she's not at work during the day. Mom, if you read this, then you need to go finish rinsing the dishes and then pick up a book but don't forget to eat.
      Not a clue about my dad. I only posted it on Facebook yesterday. We'll see how much longer it takes for him, his girlfriend, or one of my aunts to see it and flip their shit. Oh well.

     "Do you have family there? You boyfriend doesn't count in this answer."
     Well, Brother did move like 20 minutes away from here like two weeks ago. We're not technically related but I'm totally going with yes on this answer. (In case you haven't heard, he does have a name now because he has a blog after all hell broke lose on my Unity Day post, but I figured if I called him Tony nobody would know who I was referring to.)

     "What about your animals? Are you taking them?"
     Not yet. Sometime next year, I'm supposed to go back and bring my cat, but the others are staying with Mom. They won't be able to handle the move.

     You have no idea how many times I've answered those questions in the past month. There are a few more too but they weren't the most asked things, nor do I really want to post about it. Apparently, none of my friends have filters and they're all nosy as hell.

     This post ended up way longer than I thought it would be. I guess that happens when you have like six months worth of things to say and you try to cram it into a few paragraphs. Since I'm not currently working and I have a lot of things I never got to say, I'm going to try to go back to posting twice a week starting next Monday, so I have time to catch up on blog reading too. Probably back to Mondays and Thursdays?