Saturday, December 26, 2015

My Twitter Shitstorm

     Merry Everything!!!

     Let me tell you the most un-holiday-ish story that I have right now, since I'm sure you're all sick of the holiday related posts. Plus, who doesn't learning about a good shitstorm?

     It all started when my boyfriend heard about this new show on Netflix called F Is For Family. He didn't know anything about it but heard it was supposed to be a comedy, so we decided to check it out a few nights ago.

     By the end of the first episode, I literally felt sick to my stomach because of how horrible it was. It wasn't just that it wasn't funny, but it was the simple fact that abuse, racism, homophobia, and general shittiness were being called "comedy". My boyfriend had already fallen asleep since he had gone to work at 4 in the morning so I took to Twitter to say how awful it was.

     And then I went to sleep, since you can clearly see it was after midnight when I tweeted.

     After much internal debate, I decided that I'll share all the responses that I've gotten since then, including their Twitter handle. Because all it would take would be to go to my Twitter and you'll find them anyways.

     The next morning, after thinking my Tweet would be completely ignored, this happened.

     You'd think that would be the end of it, right? I blocked him so it's over, yeah? NOPE. Guess again, mothafuckas.

     Today, this happened.

     That's just as of now, actually. But I would like to address a few points now that you know the story.

     F Is For Family is supposed to be a comedy show. It's whole purpose is to make you laugh. It's not supposed to educate you on how things used to be. One of the people involved in the show literally states that people are only ever offended if its their group that's being targeted.

     I beg to differ.

     I am not only disgusted by the show because it promotes abuse, but I'm disgusted by the show because it shows homophobia. I'm a heterosexual female. I shouldn't care because I'm not gay, right? It's also racist against anyone who isn't white. Wanna guess my skin color? I'll give you a hint: I'm pale enough I have literally glowed in the dark.

     "Oh it just shows another point in time."

     No, it makes light of the shit that people are still coping with today. Do you want to go up to an elderly black man and make a joke about slavery? Do you want to go up to a rape victim and make a joke about sexual harassment? Then why would you put it on TV?

     The main argument is that "That's not what the show is going for". It is a comedy show that takes place in 1973, the year my mom was born, and shows nothing but disgusting ways to treat other humans.

     "Well you don't complain about war movies so you don't actually care!" I don't complain about things that seriously show horrific things because they're trying to bring understanding to the situation. Pretty sure a war veteran with PTSD is also going to know in advance not to watch a movie about Vietnam and blowing shit up. But somebody just looking for an alleged comedy show? They might click on F Is For Family without knowing the bullshit they're about to see.

     But if you want to laugh at abuse, the LGBTQ+ community, and all non-white people because "It's showing how things used to be so it's okay to make fun of all these people who are probably suffering life long consequences!" then I have no respect for you and I'm ashamed that we are even the same species.

     Long story short: Don't support or promote abuse, bullying, homophobia, xenophobia, racism, sexism, or anything else that is just plain hateful. Especially under the guise that "It's just comedy!" or "It's just a show!"

     Oh, and I lost 5 Twitter followers about all this.

     Good riddance.

Sunday, December 6, 2015

My Mom's Book

     It's been a very busy couple of weeks here.

     Boyfriend got hurt. Boyfriend recovered. Boyfriend got sick. I got sick. Boyfriend recovered. I recovered. Black Friday. Coworker calling out twice at the last minute so I gained an extra three hours to my shifts. Family is full of assholes.

     It's just been very hard to have the energy to even think about turning the computer on. In the past two weeks, I've worked 82.5 hours, with one day off in the middle of it. Yesterday, I was off and slept until about 3 pm, and then still didn't have any energy to get up. Today, I'm off again (I almost cried at seeing two days off in a row) and my boyfriend is sick again so I'm playing doctor all day.

     In the good news (unless you think of how poor I am now) list, Cashew the one-eyed hamster is a dumbass. He chews the wires of his cage constantly, to the point that he made his own nose bald. Giving him toys and treats or letting him out didn't stop him, so Wolfy (boyfriend) used his massive employee appreciate discount to help me buy an aquarium for the stupid rodent. It's good news because now he's quiet, he has more space to run, and it's so much bigger he now has a larger wheel (that his fat hamster self can fit in) and a house to sleep in. He's a happy hamster (albeit, his intelligence is questionable).

     I do have big(ish) news though?

     I've mentioned here my inability to cook but my amazing ability to call for take-out. (Still true. I am damn good at calling for pizza, to the point I have my debit card number memorized. Unfortunately, I only have like $10 on it right now, so that's won't buy me a lot of pizza here.)


     My mom is a hella good cook. Did I ever tell yall that? I honestly can't remember. After three years of blogging, you'd think I would have, but possibly not.

     Since my mom and I can't work in the kitchen together since we both turn around holding large knives and neither one of us want to be stabbed to death, she's been teaching me to cook via phone calls and texts. All the recipes that she's used for years, she's finally sharing with me.

     And we've decided to make a cook book together???

     (I'll be the writer/editor/computer person. She's making all the food. I'm making the food from her recipes and contributing like...two of my own. Maybe three. I'm not sure.)

     We've only just started on it so I can't tell you too much about it (since it's not a thing yet) but it'll have all kinds of things. The first one that's been written out is chili with almost no tomato sauce. We'll also be including my favorite chicken since I was a kid, salmon, deviled eggs, pork chops, chicken soup, and other stuff. The thing is, it's all fancy-sounding, but you know me. I'm not fancy. If I can't easily make it, I'm going to be like "fuck this shit" and call for a pizza (hence why I have like $10 in my bank account).

     But! Here's where yall come in.

     We'll be giving away 15 free copies of the book (when it's actually finished) for an honest review on your blog/website. If you're interested, you can either leave a comment here or email me at (I should clarify that it'll be an e-book so it won't be a physical copy.)

     In other news, I heard my neighbors having sex a couple weeks ago, and literally wondered why they had monkeys in their apartment for like five minutes before I realized that no, those sounds are not monkeys.

Monday, November 9, 2015

Tough Topics: Megan's Guest Post

     Welcome back, everyone! Last week, I (along with many readers/friends) interviewed my lovely new friend, Megan. Megan is a pre-transition transgender person (born in a male body but with the identity of a female). Last week, she greatly educated my readers, some readers from the wonderful Janie Junebug, and even had some of her own readers stop by to say hello.

     Like last week, I'm going to ask that you refer to Megan as a female and with feminine pronouns because that is how she identifies. She is a friend and a guest here so, as always, I demand the utmost respect for her. Should you leave any hateful or rude comments, I will use them as an example in my next post about cyber bullying.

     I would like to thank everyone for the huge amount of love, support, and kindness that was sent out last week. I sincerely thank everyone for extending the love to me, but I do also insist that it all goes to Megan and others in the LGBTQ+ community because I simply offered a small platform for her to speak out. It's entirely her story and she's the one who should be feeling all of the love here (as well as anyone else in the LGBTQ+ community).

     Please check out Megan's website here, her Twitter @StormsMayCome, or email your love and support to Please see the bottom of the post for sources and links to people who are fully equipped to help anyone in need. 

Hello everyone!
                Before I begin this post, I wanted first to thank each and every one of you who submitted questions and/or took the time to post a comment. It truly means so much to me to be able to share my story and to answer questions. As a Trans Advocate I think it is so important to be able to educate people in a positive way. I also wanted to thank Rachel for being so wonderful to me, giving me this opportunity, and that of the Q&A post. I am blessed!

            (Please note: I am writing this post from the perspective of a Transgender Person. I am in no way discriminating against any other LGBTQ+ group. I simply do not have much experience with what they specifically face and do not wish to speak out in fear of misrepresenting or misinforming anyone! Thank you!)

I grew up in a very conservative home. We were Christian and all I ever heard about the LGBTQ+ community was that they were gross, disgusting, and a total abomination in the sight of God. I knew how I felt- I was a girl trapped in a male body, (I didn’t know anything about being Transgender at that point) and I was terrified of what my family would say to me if they found out. Obviously if that community was disgusting or revolting in the sight of God, then I had to be too, right?

            I tried so hard to be “normal”. I tried to be “manly”, I did everything that I could to change who I was, but inside, I was so depressed. I knew I was different, I knew that I was nothing like the boys I was hanging out with. I still liked girls… so what did that mean? Was my mind just messed up? What would happen if my “terrible” secret was discovered?

            Growing up with the belief that you're somehow broken or disgusting was terrible is and I am not saying that only for myself. So many people go through life thinking that exact same thing. According to the Youth Suicide Prevention Program “More than 50% of Transgender youth will have had at least one suicide attempt by their 20th birthday.” An article from the Los Angeles Times also stated that “A whopping 41% of people who are transgender or gender-nonconforming have attempted suicide sometime in their lives; nearly nine times the national average of 4.6%.” This is an alarming statistic. USA Today reported that Transgender people who are rejected by their families are even more likely to attempt suicide.

            Ugh… I know- that sounded like a school report or something, right? I was depressed and suicidal for a time as well. My whole life was repugnant to the people I lived with and hung around, and they didn’t even know!

            Here is my point: When people discover that someone is expecting a child, one of the first questions they ask them is “What do you hope it will be?” The answer I most often hear is, “It does not matter as long as it’s healthy.” It is a beautiful sentiment and is wonderful to hear! Truly, it doesn’t, or shouldn’t matter right? Why then, when that same child comes to their family and informs them that they are Transgender, do some parents reject them? If gender didn’t matter before they were born, why then should it matter afterwards?

            As a Trans advocate, I try to use my experience to help others. I am not writing this as a “poor-pitiful-me” story, but rather as an object lesson of sorts. Acceptance is key. You do NOT have to agree. That is not the point at all, and I would NEVER tell you that you must. But you can accept. Love that person no matter what they are going through. You could change their entire life.

     If you or somebody you know needs some love and support, please contact The Trevor Project who specializes in helping the LGBTQ+ community and crises prevention, To Write Love On Her Arms who specializes in mental illness and suicide awareness/prevention, or the Suicide Hotline who has councilors ready 24/7 for anyone in need.

Monday, November 2, 2015

Tough Topics: An Interview With Megan

     Hello, my dears! If you've been reading for a while or you follow me on Twitter (@WhenALionSleeps because shameless self-promo!), then you should know that I've been really excited about this particular post (and also the post that will go live next Monday, November the ninth).

     Today, I am interviewing a wonderful lady, by the name of Megan (as you may have guessed from the title of this post). What does that have to do with this series though?

     Megan is Transgender. She was born into a physical male body but she feels as though she is meant to be a woman. I'm going to ask her a bunch of questions, some that were sent in from friends and readers, some that I came up with on my own. Those who asked to be credited will be linked next to their name.

     Please remember that it is extremely important to express kindness and love. If you leave a hateful comment, I will screenshot it and use it in my next post about cyberbullying, so please understand that when you choose your words. I also ask that you use feminine pronouns when speaking to or about her, because she is a woman and she will be treated with the utmost respect while a guest on my blog and so long as I can protect her as a friend.

Have you ever been bullied or discriminated against? If so, how did you overcome it? (Asked by Ashley @SorrowsLast777 on Twitter and Janie Junebug @JanieJunebug on Twitter.)
     The physical bullying I endured happened when I was a child, before I accepted who I was. I was always small, short and thin, and I was tormented by the boys in class because of this fact. I was always called “gay”, and because I did not (or maybe could not) defend myself, one time I was pushed into a door so hard that I chipped all four of my front teeth. I was miserable then, but I do not blame them now. Everyone fears what they do not understand, and while these boys didn’t know what a Trans person was, the fact that I was different was enough.
     These days I mostly encounter cyber-bullying, and this doesn’t concern me overly much. It is really easy to threaten someone’s life when you are behind a computer screen, a thousand miles away. I do not let it get to me. I understand that I am different than their preconceived notions about what gender is, and it is not my intention to make anyone feel uncomfortable. So I kindly reply, and if it does not alter their attitude towards me, then I block them and move on!

     Where are you in this journey through life? (Asked by Janie Junebug @JanieJunebug on Twitter.)
     I am still transitioning. I should start HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) sometime in 2016.      Thankfully, my features are not overly masculine, so I pass with a bit of work ;). Mostly I am content (trust me though, not all of the time) with knowing that I am on my way to living as I truly am. It is a happy place to be- secure in myself, for the first time in my entire life.

What changes have you made physically and emotionally? (Asked by Janie Junebug @JanieJunebug on Twitter.)
     Let me preface this question with this: MANY (not all) Transgender People are very sensitive when asked this question. Although I am not one of them (I love explaining things to people and am happy people want to know more), I think it would be beneficial to explain why this is before I get into the “meat” of the question.
    For many Trans people, being trapped in the body of a gender that you do not remotely identify with is torture and very mentally painful. In order to Transition, there are many costly surgeries, months/years of required therapy sessions, and Hormone Treatments. Typically, many of these treatment options are not covered by insurance. It is a constant reminder to Transgender people that they still are not who they are on the inside. Also, most Transgender people do not want to be treated any differently than anyone else. Asking this question to a Transgender person could make them feel “called out” or as if you were invading their privacy. PLEASE NOTE: This is not how I feel, nor am I offended at the question, I simply wanted to explain this so that if you ever meet another Transgender person, you are already one step ahead!
     Let’s see, I am growing my hair out, getting laser done on my face, but unfortunately that is all I can do at this time, at least for the next few months. Financially I am hindered, but even more than that it is because of where I live, I cannot fully transition at this time. I am proud of who I am, but I also am concerned for the safety of my family. Emotionally though, this is the biggest change: I am happier, more confident, and my depression has all but gone away. It is an amazing feeling to accept who you are and be totally okay with it.

What changes do you want to make? (Asked by Janie Junebug @JanieJunebug on Twitter.)
     As I am a woman, I want to be a complete woman. I am lucky to have a rather high voice and so that isn’t going to need much work, and while my Adams Apple is almost not visible at all, I will want that shaved in order to look more feminine. I will need top and bottom surgery, (breast augmentation and the creation of the lower female anatomy) although realistically HRT could take care of the top portion of my body for me.

What changes are more realistic? (Assuming that insurance doesn't cover most of the expenses?) (Asked by Janie Junebug @JanieJunebug on Twitter.)
     When I first started this process, I figured that it would be many years before I could afford my surgeries. Surprisingly now, there are several insurance plans that I qualify for that will help cover the cost (some up to 80%!!!!) of my surgeries. It doesn’t cover all cosmetic processes, however it is more feasible now than ever before. So, thankfully, it should all be realistic within the next few years!

Have you been helped by a therapist, a psychologist, what kind of medical specialists? (Asked by Janie Junebug @JanieJunebug on Twitter.)
     Yes! I saw a Gender Therapist for a while, and she diagnosed me with Gender Dysphoria, which if you don’t know, is defined as “the condition of feeling one's emotional and psychological identity as male or female to be opposite to one's biological sex.” This is the legal first step to begin your journey into transition. She helped me so much!

What is the most rewarding part of your experience? (Asked by Jax.)
     Besides getting to be myself, being happier, etc? I love talking to people, especially people who are interested and want to know more about what it means to be Transgender. It is a very positive and rewarding experience.

Have you ever doubted your choice? (Have you ever doubted your feelings?) (Asked by Jax.)
     Never, in the sense that I have always known that I am female. Always. Have I tried to hide it and ignore it and pretend it didn’t exist? Well, sure. It is SO MUCH easier to be “normal” in the eyes of society. I got married at 20, bought a truck, tried to use power tools (and failed miserably on many occasions lol) basically tried to be a “man’s man”. It didn’t work because that is not who I am. I am Megan, and I am proud to be too!

When and how did you realize that you are a transgender person? (Asked by Sherry Ellis @513SherryE on Twitter)
     I have known that I was Transgender ever since I can remember, although I did not know what it was then. I simply knew that something was wrong. I remember as a young person praying so hard that I would wake up a girl, and then being so devastated when I woke up the next morning. Looking in the mirror and despising who you see is a terrible feeling, let me tell you.

Are you actively involved in the LGBTQ+ community?
     I would like to say so. I have so many friends that are a part of the community (they throw the best parties ;) lol) and I actively blog on my own site, as well as others. I also respond to people on forums and article sites. I love talking to people, educating them, and helping if I can!

What kind of reactions did you get from your family/friends when/if you came out?
     I was terrified to come out. Firstly to my wife, because I was positive that she would reject me. Both of our families are very conservative and Christian, and so I was positive that she would not be okay with it. To my surprise and joy, she was! She told me that the day that she married me she said forever, and that she loves me no matter what. I am still the same person on the inside, and so she is accepting!
     I told all of my siblings as well. I was nervous about this too, but they told me that they weren’t surprised! They said that I already was so feminine and girly that it wasn’t that big of a change. Let me tell you, that hurt my pride a bit (lol) because I have been an actor for years and thought I was pretty good at it ;) The friends that I have told have all said the same thing (again with the pride!!!!). I haven’t told my parents yet because I am a chicken :P I am planning on doing it at the end of the year/beginning of next year. They live in another state and I want to do it face to face.

What was your experience like getting on hormones (if you did)?
     Sadly I have yet to experience this wonderful thing, but I will be glad to tell you about it when I do :P Stay tuned to hear about her experiences on a later date! -Rachel

Any particular anecdote you're willing to share that demonstrates the hardships you've had to face?
     I find it interesting the amount of animosity that surrounds the Transgender community, even from health care providers. I live in Texas, in Central Texas to be more precise, and because of the general feeling towards Transgender people here, I could not find a single MD to meet with about HRT. The nearest clinic is around 5 ½ hours away! Several of my friends who live in other parts of the United States do have doctors that will treat them, but know nothing about Transgender care and so spend a good portion of the visit… educating their Physician.

Where have you received the most or the most useful help? (Like support from a family or friend, an LGBTQ+ group, a teacher, a counselor, etc.)
    While my Therapist was extremely helpful, the most useful information I have received was/is actually from another Transgender friend of mine. She is several months ahead of me and was able to help me understand what I should expect, what to do next, etc.

What are some of your hopes and aspirations?
     I want to be a teacher! I am still in school, finishing up my degree and I hope to use it in that field. I would also love to get back into theatre! My singing voice is still rather high, so I might even get away with it :P My biggest hope is for my daughters; my wife and I are raising them to respect other people no matter what is going on in their lives. It would have been so amazing to have experienced this, and I want them to treat everyone positively.

Do you have a certain role model that you look up to? (Transgender or not.)
     Even though he does not know that I am Transgender, I have always looked up to my father. He is a kind person, who always looks to see what he can do for someone else. He would crawl over broken glass to help his kids, and I want to be that kind of a person.
    Within the Transgender community, I believe that Julie Vu (@PrincessJoules on Twitter) is a wonderful role model. She details exactly what goes on in the life of a Transgender person, and her videos on YouTube truly helped me through a dark time!

What is the difference between sexual identity and sexual orientation?
     In my opinion, there is a significant difference between gender identity and sexual preference/who you choose to love. People who are Transgender are in the wrong body, and identify with the opposite gender than that of which they were born/labeled at birth. Gender fluid may at any time identify as male, female, neutrois, or any other non-binary identity, or some combination of identities. This means that their feelings of gender change over time.
     Sexual orientation is different in that it is your preference in who you love. I identify as a lesbian! I am married to a beautiful young woman, and I am attracted to her, Transgender or not. This is not the case for every Transgender person.

If you had to give one piece of advice to a person questioning their identity, what would it be?
     Definitely talk to someone. Do not waste years of your life struggling against what you are feeling/thinking. It is okay to question who you are, there is nothing wrong or disgusting about it. It is simply who you are. So yes, talk it out, a gender therapist is totally who I suggest, however if you cannot talk to them, then talk to someone you trust, and someone who is honest and open-minded.

If you had to give one piece of advice to a young person who wants to come out but is scared, what would you tell them?
     If you are under 18, tell someone who is an adult that you know will be sympathetic and helpful. It is so important to have someone “in your corner”. Too many young people are depressed because of their situation and resort to suicide as a way to escape. Please, you are not alone. If you are over 18, pretty much the same things apply. There is help and there is hope! Having someone who is there for you allows you to “be yourself”, at least with that one person. It gave me confidence, and allowed me to see that I COULD do this.

What one piece of information do you want readers to walk away with today?
     Transgender people are not “scary”, “gross”, “liars” etc. We are people who are simply trying to live as ourselves. Also, most of us could use a friend, and that doesn’t mean you have to know everything about Transgender people! What it means is that you care enough to reach out and get to know the person in front of you.

     Thank you, Megan, for sharing so many things with our readers! I hope we see everyone (and more) back here next week when Megan write's a guest post and goes more in depth on things that weren't discussed here today!

     Special shout-outs to everyone who sent in questions, especially Miss Sherry Ellis, who asked far more questions than she was linked to. When she asked her questions, they had all already been answered throughout the rest of the post, but I want to offer her a special thank you for taking the time to send in such good questions!

     You can find Megan at her personal website or by email at and also on Twitter @StormsMayCome. She's a lovely girl, so please show her some love and support!

     If you or somebody you know needs some love and support, please contact The Trevor Project who specializes in helping the LGBTQ+ community and crises prevention, To Write Love On Her Arms who specializes in mental illness and suicide awareness/prevention, or the Suicide Hotline who has councilors ready 24/7 for anyone in need.

Friday, October 30, 2015

Finger Puns

     I am working with a lovely Trans-girl for a short series on my blog. Have you ever had a question for a Trans-person? Here is your chance to ask! Leave a comment here, tweet me @whenalionsleeps or email me at Please note that we can only accept questions up until this following Sunday because the interview post will go live Monday at midnight (Arizona time)!

     I think these texts are from sometime last year, but its between Sissi and myself. Enjoy.

P.S. It seemed appropriate-ish because of the mention of coffins. I don't have any Halloweeny things right now.


Monday, October 26, 2015

Just A Reminder

     I am working with a lovely trans-girl for an interview post. Do you have any questions for her? Comment here, tweet me @whenalionsleeps, or send me an email at to be included! I'll give you full credit for the questions!

     Don't lie to anybody. The truth will eventually come out and they will be more hurt by the lie, which will ruin their trust for you, than if you had told them the truth in the beginning.

     Don't send anyone hate, online or in real life. There are enough hateful people out there. You should be one of the nice ones that make everyone want to stick around for one more day.

     Stick around. Put down that weapon. You're here for a reason so you should make the best of your life and do some good in the world.

     Don't you dare hurt yourself. There are enough people in the world who could hurt you so you should be one to protect yourself from those people.

     Eat right. This not only means that you have to eat your veggies, but it means that you actually have to eat in general. You won't be around to see your grandkids graduate if you starve yourself.

     Tell your friends and family and pets that you love them. As sad as it is, you never know if you'll ever get the chance again. Make sure that they know you love them, even if you're angry.

     Remember to breath. Take deep breaths when you're stressed out and breath slowly when you're starting to panic.

     You are loved, by far more people than you will ever know and so much that it is impossible to describe. You are so loved. Please remember that.

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

This Low MothaFucka

Updated to add: I am teaming up with a trans-girl for a post in which I interview her. If you have any questions you would like me to ask her please either comment, tweet me @whenalionsleeps, or email me at and be sure to leave a link so I can credit you for the question(s)!

     First of all, let me start off with an update on Cashew the hamster (or if you follow me on twitter, #CashewTheHamster because I tweet so much I had to give him his own hashtag).

     He's still alive. Unfortunately, he lost an eye. Before my boyfriend could stop him about two weeks ago, Cashew took a running leap off of him, bounced off the coffee table, and landed on the floor. I honestly believe my boyfriend was more traumatized than the hamster was. Cashew is adjusting fine to his one good eye, but you do have to be careful to move on the side with the eye or he'll freak out if he doesn't see you coming. He also likes chewing on the metal wires of his cage so I got him extra toys and treats to make him stop. If all else fails, I may have to buy an aquarium for him instead. He seems perfectly happy though.

     Secondly, let me warn you that this post isn't going to be all sunshine and rainbows because I got seriously pissed off a few days ago.

     There's this twitter account called @depressionarmy that tries to show that people are not alone in their mental illnesses and tries to offer support in numbers. Every so often, they'll ask you to tweet a picture (if you're so willing) with something encouraging to say. Sometimes it's your story, sometimes its what you've been through, sometimes it's just to say that you're not going to let other people suffer alone.

     Twice, I've tweeted with a picture and a tweet based around the topic. Because I know what an absolute bitch depression is to deal with, especially when you think you're alone. The first time, nothing crazy happened, but I did get an overwhelming amount of retweets and around ten new followers. The second time...

     Well, the first time, several people tweeted me and offered support and friendship. I've tweeted back and forth with a few of those people because they seem genuinely nice. One of those people has given me advice on how to stop Cashew from chewing the cage and another one owes me pictures of her ridiculous amount of cats (because holy crap, cats).

     The second time, I was a little more prepared with what to expect. Only this time, I got a couple of DM's. One was very nice, offering support. The other simply thanked me for following him back and wished me luck in the future and nice words. I responded to both, thanking them, because I can be nice sometimes. Only the first one responded, but that was fine and I didn't mind chatting back a little bit because the whole point of it is to be like, "Yo, its okay to talk to people and be nice and support other people because sometimes it's really needed" and I didn't want to be a complete dick to somebody who could quite possibly have crippling anxiety or depression.

     I'm not going to go into great detail of this conversation, but it was all very friendly and innocent. Apparently he lives in the same state so I asked about that general area, since I don't really go anywhere. We talked about TV. Just things like that. At one point, he said he was bored and that he wished he had a cute girl to talk to, but what a shame that I was taken.

     Excuse me?

     I knew where this was going to go, but I tried to brush it off because I didn't want to just assume he was being an asswipe either. So I brushed it off and changed the subject. I barely even acknowledged what he said (which is also what I do when people compliment me in real life- a quick thank you and then a sudden change in topic because how the hell do you handle that?).

     I did warn him that I am very temperamental though because I just knew where this was going and I wanted him to have a chance to back out. I was trying to make him knock his crap off so I wouldn't have to verbally tear him apart.

     Then he said, "That must mean you're good in bed."

     Excuse me?

     I straight out said, "Okay, that was too far" and I started ignoring him. I was busy so I didn't have time to go block him with my laggy phone. The next thing I knew, I was getting DM's about how I must be a grandma and basically saying that I'm lame. I made time to block him after that, as I was walking into work.

     Here's the thing- creepy people exist, assholes exist, perverts exist.

     While his hitting on me made me uncomfortable, mostly because I'm in a relationship but also because of the way it was handled, that's not actually what made me mad. (Well, maybe, because I was very open about saying "I have a boyfriend whom I live with".)

     What really pisses me off is that his walking penis thought it would be morally okay to use somebody's mental illness against them. He thought he could just "support" whatever I may have been through because I might just put out for him. He thought he could be friendly and try to take advantage of a complete stranger.

     What really pisses me off is that he could seriously damage some people. Some girl may fall for it, think she's in love, and then be completely alone while he's out trying to add another notch to his headboard. That girl could have crippling anxiety, body image issues, trust issues, depression... You have no idea. And he has no idea that if he takes advantage of somebody on that level, they very well could kill themselves.

     Mentally, I'm fine. I don't really care, honestly. I don't care that he's a creep. I don't care that he's a pervert. The only thing I care about is the fact that somebody could sink so low as to try to take advantage over somebody's illness,

     Like bro, fuck you. With a cactus. In the asshole.

Monday, October 19, 2015

Making Room

     This is between Brother (also known as Tony), Sissi, and myself.

Thursday, October 1, 2015


     This is my hamster.

     His name his Cashew.

     This is how he got his name.

     He's smart but he's also kind of dumb because he sleeps under his water bottle.

     He doesn't bite unless you smell like food, but he does chew his cage like crazy. He's not very good at using his ball and doesn't really go anywhere, but he'll run right in when he has the chance. He has already shit on me, the bed, and the floor. He's very active when he's awake but that makes him more fun to play with.

     You can follow my Twitter for more hamster pictures and updates because I'm kind of obsessed with him.

     Can we all just give my boyfriend a round of applause, a high five, and a cookie for the best birthday present ever this year? Like, guys, for real. He did good.

Tuesday, September 22, 2015


     When I did the A-Z Challenge in 2013, I asked my friend Ashley for questions so my Q post was Q is for Questions. The problem is, my friend Ashley is a massive smartass and sent me 800 questions. I didn't even finish them in 2013 but last year, I decided to answer them for my birthday to see how things changed as time passed. I'll be answering them again this year.

     All new answers will be in this color to make them easier to find. I will be incredibly surprised an impressed if anyone actually reads this.


     (I have not forgotten about the contest or the contest winner. Unfortunately, life happened I have no monies. I will be sending out the prize and announcing the winner in October when I get paid. So sorry about the delay!)

1) What's your (full) name?
Rachel Coleman

2) How old are you?

3) What's your birthday?
September 22

4) What starsign does that make it?
Virgo or apparently also a Libra, according to several people I met this year.

5) What's your favorite color?

6) What's your lucky number?

7) Do you have any pets?
I do! While my mom gave away the cat she was temporarily keeping for me (the one I rescued and nursed from a syringe) my boyfriend got me a hamster for my birthday this year! I'll do a post on that next week.

8) Where are you from?
All over the south. Most recently, Alabama. Currently, Arizona.

9) How tall are you?
5'5 1/2"

10) What shoe size are you?
Depends on the shoe. Somewhere between a 7 and an 8 1/2, because my foot is ridiculously narrow.

11) How many pairs of shoes do you own?
Ten. Four pairs of boots, one pair of tennis shoes which desperately need to be replaced, and five pairs of sandals. 

12) If you were prime minister/ruler of the world what laws would you make?
Don't be an asshole. I think that sums up just about everything that I would like people to be.

13) If you were a super hero what powers would you have?I
I already have a super hero power- the power of extreme sarcasm.

14) And what would your hero name be?

15) And what outfit would you wear?
I would dress in normal, every day clothing, so that nobody would know who I was until it was too late and they were completely floored with my sarcasm.

16) What was your last dream about?
It had something to do with the highway, semi trucks, dinner, chicken wings, and all be damned if I cooked a nice meal for just myself because ain't nobody got that kinda time.

17) What would you do if you won the lottery?
I would never cook dinner again.

18) Would you like to build/design your own house?
If I won the lottery a second time.

19) Which form of public transport do you prefer?
Trains, planes, busses. But I would prefer cars or walking, if I can help it.

20) What talents do you have?
The talent of extreme sarcasm and also the talent of giving zero fucks.

21) Can you juggle?
Only if you want to get hit in the head.

22) Can you solve a Rubix Cube?
If I peel off all the stickers and arrange them how I want them.

23) Do you have a cherished childhood teddy bear?
No, I had stuffed cats though. I think my mom actually recently found them too. Last year, I said I thought they had been lost in a move.

24) Are you psychic in any way?
I think everyone is, actually.

25) Are you a good dancer?
Hell no.

26) Are you a good singer?
I have hearing loss. You don't even want to go there.

27) Are you a good cook?
I haven't killed anybody yet, so I'm gonna go with yes for this one.

28) Are you a good artist?
I'm fucking fantastic with coloring books.

29) Are you a good listener?
Yeah, but mostly because I don't speak very often.

30) Are you a good public speaker?
No. I get too sassy with the crowd.

31) Are you a good babysitter?
I had two full time babysitting jobs (at separate times). Nobody died and the kids thought I was awesome, so let's say yes.

32) Are you a good mechanic?
I can make a car go, I can make it stop, and I can make it turn. Don't ask anything more of me.

33) Are you a good diplomat?
I would like to think so. Unless somebody pisses me off, then OFF WITH THEIR HEADS.

34) Are you a good employee?
I became a supervisor within two months so I'd like to think so. I'm actually now the manager and if I had a car, I would likely get another promotion. Would anyone like to buy me a car?

35) Are you a good dresser?
I have to look cute to be manager, so fuck yeah. (Don't ask my boyfriend. He'll tell you that I don't wear matching clothes to bed.)

36) Are you a good swimmer?
I can swim, as I discovered about a month ago, but I'm not a very strong swimmer. I think if I went swimming more than once every five years, I might actually be better at it, but that's just a theory.

37) Are you a good skier?
I've never been but considering I have no sense of balance whatsoever, I'm gonna say no.

38) Are you a good lover? (Top or bottom wink wink)
Ashley, are you hitting on me?

39) Are you a good musician?
I have good musical taste...

40) Are you a good comedian?
No, but I'm really mean and people think I'm kidding, so they think I'm hilarious.

41) Are you a good cleaner?
I'm an adult now so I guess I have to be.

42) Are you a good actor?
I act like I don't want to punch most people in the throat and nobody has seemed to catch on yet, so I would like to think so.

43) Are you a good writer?
I have a blog with 63 followers and like 5 regular comment-leavers, so fuck yes I am!

44) Have you ever been bungee jumping?
No thank you.

45) Have you ever been canoeing/kayaking?
I went canoeing once, as part of a school field trip. We couldn't go straight, so we just kept going in circles.

46) What types of holidays do you prefer?
The ones where I don't have to work. I literally work all holidays that the mall is open now. The supervisor opens the store and then I close it. A lot of times its just us. We use the boring time to tell weird stories and decide how things need to be organized.

47) What's the furthest you've ever been on holiday?
Living in Alabama, coming to Arizona. Also the farthest move I've ever made and also the only move I made alone.

48) What was your favorite holiday?
I'm unsure if this means my favorite vacation or my favorite actual holiday. See above or Halloween.

49) Where would your dream holiday be?

50) Can you tap dance?
I can't dance period.

51) What's your favorite zoo animal?

52) What's your favorite sport?
What are sports? Do they involve exercise? Yes? No thank you.

53) What's your favorite food?

54) What's your favorite pizza topping?
Pineapple and pepperoni.

55) What's your favorite film?
The Lion King.

56) What's your favorite song?
Oh hell. I don't know. For sake of listing a million songs, we're gonna go with  "Face Down" by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.

57) What's your favorite alcoholic drink?
I feel like you're gonna expect an answer here, but I don't know. I thought I was gonna die when Wolfy made me do a birthday shot. We have since discovered that I'm a wimp and can only do Jello shots or Smirnoff Ice, or other wimpy drinks.

58) What's your favorite non-alcoholic drink?
Sweet tea.

59) What's your favorite TV program?
Probably something like Pokemon or Courage The Cowardly Dog because I'm still five.

60) What's your favorite boy band?
I don't listen to a boy band, but My Chemical Romance was composed of all guys.

61) What's your favorite girl group?
I'm gonna go with The Pistol Annies for this one because I can only even name two girl groups.

62) What would be your ideal partner?

63) Do you want children?
One day, in the far off future.

64) Do you want a church wedding?
I haven't even been to church in a few years sooo...

65) Are you religious?
I believe in God and I am faithful, but I think the word "religious" has been tainted with all of the extremist groups there are, in every religion.

66) Do you like reality TV programs?
No thank you.

67) Do you like TV talent shows?
I used to watch them but I got bored.

68) If you were gay who would your life partner be?
Probably you, since you always hit on me and claimed me as your wife when I posted a picture on Facebook.

69) If you could go back in time to change one thing what would it be?
I wouldn't, because everything that happened as led me to be where I am today.

70) How many hats do you own?
When we moved to our new apartment, I discovered that I own one hat.

71) Are you any good at pool?
I played twice, when I was fifteen.

72) Whats the highest you've ever jumped into the water from?
The edge of a pool.

73) Have you ever been admitted to hospital?
A few times, but not nearly as many as Ashley, the queen of the weird diseases that only Dr House can cure.

74) Have you ever had any brushes with the law?
It wasn't my fault. Any time. Well, maybe once, but no, I admit to nothing.

75) Have you ever been on TV?
Probably not.

76) Have you ever met any celebrities?
I met the country group Alabama, who remembered my grandparents two years in a row.

77) Have you ever been to Legoland?
No, I'd probably step on a Lego.

78) Have you ever done something heroic?
I saved my cat's life? Does that count?

79) Have you ever played a practical joke on anyone?
Apparently, everyone I used to work with in the first restaurant thought I was mute for like six months, and then one day I sassed a coworker and everyone was in shock because nobody thought that I could speak.

80) Have you ever been the recipient of a practical joke?
You know my mother. This should be obvious.

81) What would be your best achievement to date?
I mean, I'm pretty proud that I haven't died yet.

82) Do you prefer baths or showers?
Baths to relax, but showers to feel clean.

83) Do you prefer towel drying, blow drying or natural drying your hair?
Natural drying. I damage it so much that it's the only good thing that I do for it.

84) Have you ever built a snowman?
I have.

85) Have you ever been sledding?
No. I would probably fall off the sled.

86) Have you ever flown a kite?
I have a vague memory of my dad trying to fly a kite with me when I was very young, so possibly.

87) What color socks are you wearing?
I'm not wearing socks.

88) If you could live anywhere, where would that be?
Somewhere not on the third fucking floor of an apartment complex.
I now live on the second fucking floor of an apartment complex, so my dream has come true!!!

89) Have you ever been famous?
Every year on Facebook, for my birthday.

90) Would you like to be a big celebrity?
No. I don't need a bunch of kids thinking I'm awesome and then being as sassy as me.

91) Would you ever go on a reality show, if so, which one?
I wouldn't though. Unless a new one is created about being as sassy as possible, because I would totally win.

92) How big is your TV?
Oh. I don't know. We have two TVs. Large enough where my blind-self can see them.

93) What is your most essential appliance?
I'm gonna say the stove, because otherwise I would starve.

94) What type of music do you like?
Everything except rap. My favorites include rock and country, but I also hear pop every day at work and it's so annoyingly catchy that it's grown on me.

95) Have you ever been skinny-dipping?
Only if taking a bath counts.

96) How many pillows do you sleep with?
Two on my side, two on Wolfy's side.

97) What position do you often sleep in?
My side or my stomach.

98) What do you wear to bed?
Usually a t-shirt or tank top and shorts.

99) How big is your house?
One bedroom, one bathroom, a walk-in closet, a HUGE living room, a kitchen, a dining room, and a laundry room. In an apartment. So pretty decent.

100) Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?
Sunsets because if I see a sunrise, I am up waaaaay too fucking early.

101) What do you typically have for breakfast?

102) Do you like scary movies?
Some. Not the stupid ones.

103) What's your favorite milkshake flavor?

104) Have you ever been in a newspaper?
I have. In elementary school for good grades and I think one time in middle school but I'm not sure for what.

105) How long can you balance on one foot?
If I'm lucky, long enough to put on my pants.

106) Have you ever fired a gun?
I have. I'd like to think I'm a good shot too.

107) Have you ever tried archery?
I was going to try it, but it was expensive and I am poor.

108) What's your favorite condiment?
Depends on the food. For hamburgers, I like ketchup. For hot dogs, I like mustard. For fries and corn dogs, I like honey mustard. For sandwiches, I like mayo. For egg rolls, I like sweet and sour sauce.

109) What's your favorite clean word?
Apalachicola because it's fun to say.

110) What's your favorite swear word?
Fuck because I can use it any fucking way and any fucker who disagrees with this fuckery can go get fucked.

111) What's your least favorite word?
A word that I won't say, that starts with an N.

112) What was the last film you saw?
Django. I know I'm way late to the party. I learned things about history that I didn't know before (even though it's not exactly a historically accurate film) and I haven't quite gotten over that yet.

113) What football team do you support?
I don't watch football.

114) What's the longest you've gone without sleep?
Somewhere around three days. My exact timing is off because my brain was fucking gone.

115) What's the tallest building you've ever been up?
I've been on the roof of a skyscraper when I was little, but I don't remember the name. So let's go with the Reunion Tower in Dallas Texas.

116) Do you have any scars?
Yeah, but they don't have any good stories.

117) Do you like marmite?
I don't know what marmite is.

118) Did you ever win any sportsday events?
I won the participation prize every single year.

119) What did you want to be when you grew up?
A vet, a teacher, a cowgirl, pick an age because it changed constantly.

120) If you could change anything about yourself what would it be?
The fact that I'm currently super gross and in need of a shower, but I don't want to get out of bed.

121) What's the longest you've ever grown your hair?
Passed the middle of my back.

123) Are you scared of flying?
It stresses me out a lot and I don't enjoy it, but I think I'm more scared of falling.

124) Would you rather trade some intelligence for looks or looks for intelligence?
Looks for intelligence because if I'm a genius, I can become rich and just have plastic surgery to make myself pretty.

125) Have you ever tie-dyed your own clothes?

126) How often do you buy new clothes?
No where near as often as I probably need to.

127) Are you reliable?
I have to be, or I would let people down.

128) Are you proud of yourself?

129) Have you ever had a secret admirer?
If I did, they didn't tell me.

130) If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?
When am I going to get a damn car?

131) Do you hold grudges?
I used to hold them for years, but I've discovered that the anger just weighs me down and it's time to let go.

132) If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?
I would breed a horse with a rino, to create unicorns.

133) Do you decorate the outside of your house for Christmas?
I haven't since I was like eight.

134) Can you solve Sudoko puzzles?
If you give me paper, a pencil, and about two hours to do it.

135) Have you ever played Conkers?
I don't know what Conkers is.

136) Whats the most unusual conversation you've ever had? (probably with me)
Probably about kiwis and blackeyed peas. So yes, with you.

137) Are you much of a gambler?
Only if I know that I'm going to win.

138) Are you much of a daredevil?
Never intentionally.

139) Are you a good liar?
Only when I have to be.

140) Are you a good judge of character?

141) Are you any good at charades?
I talk with my hands, so probably.

142) How long could you go without talking?
I think I've not-talked for a full day before.

143) What has been your worst haircut/style?
Let's go with when that one lady did my hair incorrectly and within a week, my entire head had faded to gray, brown, red, pink, white, and black and my hair clogged the drain every time I showered for six months.

144) Can you ice-skate?
I can't even stand, much less skate.

145) Can you somersault?
Not since I was six.

146) What's your favorite joke?
Any sort of pun.

147) What's been your best present?
I think I'm gonna go with the bean bag chair Wolfy got me for this birthday, because the chairs we had before hurt my back so I could never spend much time watching TV or playing games with him in the living room. It was just so thoughtful awwwwww...
I have to change it to the hamster. The beanbag chair was crazy thoughtful but HOLY SHIT I HAVE A PET NOW.

148) What's been your worst present?
Bras and underwear from my grandma, that didn't fit me by about four sizes.

149) Have you ever sleepwalked?
Do not ask my mother about this story.

150) Can you build a house of cards?
I can. I was pretty damned impressed with myself.

151) What's your favorite TV ad?
I used to like the ones for where they would sing them and stuff, but they stopped the funny ones so nothing now.

152) Can you play poker?

153) If your parents hated your partner you currently loved, would you ditch him or carry on with him despite the protests?
My parents can either support me or they can keep their opinions to themselves.

154) Have you ever been professionally photographed?
Only once that wasn't in school.

155) Have you ever baked your own cake?
Yeah, but only from boxes.

156) What's your favorite fruit pastel color?
I'm gonna say grape because it's a fruit and it's purple and I don't know how to answer this.

157) What traditionally adorns the top of your Christmas tree?
I'm not sure I've ever had the same topper for my tree.

158) What would be your dream sandwich?
I've been on a tuna kick for the past month or so.

159) Can you impersonate anyone famous?
Not successfully.

160) Can you do any accents other than your own?
Not on purpose.

161) Do you have a strong local accent?
If local was being in Alabama or Texas, then yes.

162) What's your favorite accent?

163) In O's and X's which do you normally pick?
I think you mean Tic-Tac-Toe. I go with X's.

164) Do you prefer blue or black inked pens?

165) What was the last thing you recorded off TV?
I don't know. Ask fifteen year old me.

166) What was the last thing you dressed up as for fancy dress?
Um.... I have no idea.

167) Do you prefer green or red grapes?

168) What do you like on your toast?
Peanut butter, because despite what somebody told me, it is completely normal.

169) Do you prefer liquid soap or bars of soap?

170) How do you have your eggs?
Either sunny side up, or scrambled with gravy.

171) What's your favorite saying?
"Are you stupid because I think you might be"

172) Have you ever been in a tug of war?
Yeah. I've been the tugger and the tug-ee.

173) And did you win?
Not when I was the tug-ee.

174) Can you stand on your hands unassisted?
That would require upper body strength and a sense of balance. I lack both.

175) What do you have on your fridge door?

176) Do you love or hate Facebook?
Love the idea, hate half the people and posts.

177) Who was the last person to knock/ring at your door?
Considering my boyfriend's friends no longer even knock on the door, my guess is the guys from the lobby to come fix something in the apartment.

178) How old were you when you last went trick or treating?

179) Have you ever been bobbing for apples?
No thank you.

180) What's your most expensive piece of clothing?
Probably a dress I've had for several years but have never really had the chance to wear.

181) What's the last thing you took a picture of?
The top of this blog post when I called Ashley out to tell her she needs to get to work on  doing this post. I texted it to her but I'm 181 questions in and she hasn't replied. The jerk.

182) What's the last thing you drew a picture of?
I honestly don't know. NO WAIT. I had to close my store to take a break a few days ago and because my store's symbol is a flower, I wrote out a "Back in 30 minutes. Sorry for the inconvenience!" sign and drew a giant flower on it to fill some extra space.

183) Have you ever bought anything from Ebay?
No, but my grandma and uncle had a business on there where they gave me stuff. I also sold stuff on there.

184) What's your favorite smell/scent?
I think the maple syrup candles.

185) Can you blow bubbles with bubblegum?

186) What was your favorite birthday?
It's gonna be a tie between this one, the one when my Mom gave me everything Disney related when I was 19, or when I was 18 and go to see The Lion King when it came back to theaters.

187) Can you curl your tongue?
Yes. I just tested it to be sure.

188) Is your bellybutton an innie or outie?

189) What would be your dream car?
A limo, so that I can relax while somebody else drives.

190) Are you left or right handed?
I used to be ambidextrous but my teachers only let me use one hand, so my right hand became dominate.

191) What was the last book you read?
Blue Lily, Lily Blue by Maggie Stiefvater but I'm going to be starting 13 Reasons Why by Jay Asher sometime this week, most likely.

192) What was the last song you danced to?
I'm not sure.

193) Have you ever owned a yo-yo?
I owned many yo-yos. It didn't make me any better at it.

194) Have you ever been on a pogo stick?
I think I put one foot on and couldn't balance to get the other foot on, so I gave up. It was probably wise.

195) Have you ever been on a space hopper?
I don't know what a space hopper is. I feel like it might be a bouncy castle because Ashley is weird as hell and calls things by weird names. If it is a bouncy castle, then yes.

196) Who was the last person to send you a text message?
My mom is the last person who texted me, but I use a group message app called Kik in which my friends Tony, Grace, and Nick are all telling me what I should dress as for Halloween.

197) Have you ever accidentally injured anyone?
Many times.

198) Are you scared of spiders?
I will kill them with fire.

199) Can you down a pint (of anything) in one?
Not without puking.

200) Have you ever been banned from a public place?
Yes, and it wasn't even my fault! Seriously, out of all the shit I've done, the one time I was just with friends and not doing anything, was the time that I got banned.

201) How much spam email do you tend to get a week?
1-3 emails a day, per email account.

202) If you could learn any language fluently, what would it be?
Spanish would be the most useful, but German and Irish just sound so nice. I have now downloaded an app to start learning Spanish because I really need it at work, plus my coworkers are helping some.
203) What historical figure would you love to see in 21st century life?
George Washington, so he can be like, "Hey, what the fuck did you do to my country?"

204) As a kid were you ever frighted of a monster under the bed or in the cupboard?
I was never scared of monsters. It was ghosts that got me.

205) Do you like clowns?
Not particularly.

206) Do you prefer BBC or ITV?
I don't know what these things are.

207) Have you ever been surfing?
I think that requires having been to the beach, so, no.

208) Have you ever been snowboarding?
That would require being on a mountain, so, no.

209) Who was better, The Beatles or Elvis Presley?
They were both legends. I would prefer to listen to Elvis but I would never say that The Beatles weren't as good.

210) What's your favorite type of foreign food?
I like Italian, Chinese, Japanese, German, Korean...

211) Which foreign country do you dislike the most?
I'd have to visit one to have an opinion.

212) Do you like your music loud or easy listening?

213) What's your favorite animated or cartoon program?
Either Pokemon or Courage The Cowardly Dog.

214) Do you sing in the shower?
No, luckily for Wolfy.

215) Are you a clean or messy person?

216) What's your preferred playing piece in monopoly?
The dog.

217) Can or do you still play Twister?
I haven't played it since I was little.

218) Can you play Chess?

219) Do you know the dance steps to an annoying cheesy pop song?

220) Do you prefer straight or bendy straws?
Bendy straws!

221) Have you ever entered a talent contest?
Yeah, at a church camp when I was like fourteen, with a couple other girls.

222) And did you win?

223) Do you like poetry?

224) Are you a bad loser?
Probably not.

225) Which would you choose: jelly or ice cream?
Ice cream, all the way.

226) What's your favorite type of pie?
Apple, hot with vanilla ice cream. Or key lime, cold with whipped cream.

227) What's your most used phrase?
"This bitch..." or "I ain't got time for this shit." or "I'm about to kick somebody." or "Get me a fucking shovel."

228) What's your most used word?

229) Who would you want to play you in a movie of your life?
Me, because I'm fucking awesome.

230) What would your dream job be?
Psychology or psychiatry, but where I can always help people.

231) Which song do you hate the most?
"Love Song" by Sara Bareilles. Love the meaning, cannot stand the sound of it.

232) How long does it take you to get ready?
Five minutes when I don't have to work. Forty-five minutes when I do have to work. Sometimes half an hour if my hair is already done.

233) What do you think the greatest invention has been?

234) What's your favorite feature on the opposite sex?

235) What's your least favorite feature on the opposite sex?

236) Who's your favorite comedian?
Jeff Dunham.

237) What's your favorite board game?

238) Do you have any lucky items, objects or traditions?
I always carry a little troll doll that my mom got me before my first flight.

239) Do you have any superstitions?
I don't think so.

240) What's your favorite movie quote?
"Hakuna Matata."

241) Who would win in a fight: Chuck Norris or Jack Bauer?
Chuck Norris.

242) Do you have much of an ego?
Well, I know I'm pretty fucking awesome.

243) Do you wear sunglasses indoors to look cool or stylish?
I don't wear sunglasses at all, which is dumb, because I live in a desert.

244) Are you a hat person?
I wish.

245) What's your favorite supermarket chain?
The only one I shop in is Walmart.

246) What's your favorite fast food chain?
Sonic, because cheese sticks.

247) What's your first thought upon waking up?
"Oh shit, am I late for work?"

248) What animal would you most like to have as a pet?
Excluding my cat who I miss very much, a tiger.

249) What's your favorite type of tree?
Willow trees.

250) If you could bankrupt one person or company who would it be?
Whoever made their money illegally by hurting other people. So like a drug lord or something.

251) If you could steal one thing without consequence what would it be?
Ten billion dollars, because that would make things much easier.

252) Who's your favorite celeb with the same first name or surname as you?
I only know of Rachel McAdams or Zendaya Coleman, so probably Rachel.

253) If evil-doers invaded your country would you rush to the battle-lines to defend the motherland or hide in a box?
I'm pretty sure I could find a nice box.

254) What's your favorite flower?
Two colored roses.

255) Do you believe in ghosts?
It's hard not to.

256) Do you believe in the Lochness Monster?
I think something is there, but I don't believe it's a monster.

257) Do you believe in aliens?
I find it hard to believe that life doesn't exist somewhere else in this entire galaxy.

258) Do you believe the governments hide technology and information from the public?
Oh, most likely. I can't say that I would blame them with as many crazy, dangerous, and violent people are out there though.

259) Which is your favorite Pokemon?

260) What horror fiction character scares you the most?
The thing from The Unborn.

261) Can you do 10 revolutions of a hula hoop?

262) Do you think Great Britain should have a National Day?
It doesn't?

263) Do you think Great Britain should be part of a United Europe?
It's not?

264) Would you want the Euro or keep the British Pound?
They're not the same?

265) Were you part of the Brownies/Cubs/Scouts/Guides etc?

266) Have you ever invented a fairly unique meal or drink?
Invented? No. Eaten? Yes.

267) Do you have any secret family recipes?
My mother does but she won't tell me. Update: I made a bet and won one recipe from her. I just need to keep winning bets and I'll get them all!

268) Do you have any family secrets? :o
I don't know. They won't tell me.

269) Are you good at keeping secrets?
Unless I believe that somebody is in danger, yes.

270) Have you ever been up in a hot air balloon?
No thank you.

271) What's your favorite Scifi film/program etc?
I'm unsure what counts as Scifi compared to horror because the two genres are combined so often.

272) When playing Checkers or Chess do you prefer to be black or white?
I can't play either though.

273) Which is better: white chocolate or chocolate?

274) Do you prefer shopping on the high street or online?
I like actually going.

275) Would you ever want to learn to fly?
Nah, I'm good.

276) Do you often read your horoscope?

277) Have you ever had a proper Tarot reading?
I was offered one but I turned it down.

278) What's your favorite brand of newspaper?
I don't read the newspaper.

279) Have you ever milked a cow?
I'm pretty sure I haven't.

280) Have you ever used the phrase "back in my time" to someone younger than you?
I'm not that old yet.

281) Do you love or hate roller coasters?
Hate them.

282) Which was the greatest empire?
What are the choices?

283) What's the cleverest word you know?

284) What's your favorite sportswear brand?
I don't wear sportswear because lol what are sports?

285) Do you buy any weekly/monthly magazines?
That would require money.

286) Who's your favorite superhero?
Out of my very limited knowledge, Spiderman or Iron Man because they're both fucking hilarious. Ant-Man is also now in the running too. But seriously, limited knowledge.

287) Who's your favorite villain/baddie?

288) What was the last album you purchased?
Oh, shit, it's been so long that I have no idea.

289) What was the last DVD you purchased?
I bought The Amazing Spider Man 2 for Wolfy's birthday.

290) What was the last piece of clothing you purchased?
Pretty sure it was a bathingsuit.

291) When pulling crackers, does everyone get one each regardless or whoever gets the big ends keeps all the prizes?
That's a British thing, but I would go with the first option.

292) Do you ever make your own greetings cards?
Not since I was in grade school for Valentine's Day.

293) Do you have a Swiss army knife?

294) At what age did you catch onto the fact Santa wasn't real?

295) What's your favorite fruit?

296) Have you ever done something really unbelievable, only to have no one around to see it?
All the time.

297) Do you buy from charity shops?
I used to buy from and donate to one all the time, but I don't know of one around here now.

298) Have you ever sold your services?
I was a babysitter and a server, so I'm gonna say yes. Pretty sure the server job took a piece of my soul with it.

299) Have you ever raised money for charity?
No, but I've donated and raised awareness.

300) Have you ever won a giant sized cuddly toy from a fair?
Giant? No. Medium? Yes. Small? Too many.

301) Is the glass half full or half empty?
While you all try to decide if it's half full or half empty, I'm just gonna drink it.

302) Is the grass greener on the other side?
If it is, it's probably because they painted it.

303) If a tree falls in the forest and there's no one around to hear it, does it make a noise?

304) Why does it always rain on me?
Do you use an umbrella? If no, then that's why. If yes, then you probably need a new umbrella.

305) Have you ever sailed a boat?
A peddle-boat.

306) Do you love or loathe Harry Potter?

307) Do you do your utmost for the environment?
I don't litter, I turn out the lights when I'm not in the room, and I try to recycle where possible.

308) Do you love or loather Eurovison?
I feel like this is another British thing. Ashley, we both live in America, what the fuck?

309) Have you ever wielded a sword?

310) If you were famous, would you want a statue or a building names after you?
Buildings, like hospitals or something.

311) What's your favorite type of fish?
To eat? Salmon. For a pet? Beta.

312) Which do you prefer: pony tails or pig tails?
Pony tails.

313) What's the ultimate cake topping?
Ice cream.

314) Do you like marzipan?
I don't know what a marzipan is.

315) Whats better: Center Parks or Butlins?
I don't know what these things are either.

316) If you were in a band, what instrument/role would you play?
I would have to be lead singer because I'm sassy as fuck, but nobody wants to hear me sing.

317) Can you erect a tent?
Maybe a pop-up tent.

318) Do you suck or bite lollipops?

319) Have you ever used the yellow pages?
Many times.

320) If you have an MP3 player, what size is it?
I don't have one.

321) Do you still have any music on vinyl or casettes?

322) Do you still have a camera that uses conventional film?
My only camera is my phone. I had a digital one but I lost the cord and then I lost the camera. Oops. Update: Turns out they were stolen when I still lived in Alabama. Thanks a lot, asshole. You stole a $100 piece of equipment that 15 year old me bought with my own money. Bitch. I hope the battery leaked all over you.

323) Approximately how many DVD's do you have?
Maybe 50.

323) Approximately how many albums do you have?
Probably close to 50 also.

324) Do you talk to yourself?

325) Do you sing to yourself?
I sing by myself, but not to myself.

326) Do you know any identical twins?
Fraternal, but not identical.

327) Have you ever given blood?
I couldn't. My heart rate was too quick.

328) Could you ever be a medical guinea-pig?
No thank you.

329) What's your favorite radio station?
I don't listen to the radio anymore.

330) What's your favorite letter of the alphabet?
L. Because it's pretty when it's cursive.

331) Which is better: roller-blades or roller-skates?
Both are perfectly fine, if you're not me.

332) Have you ever written a love letter?

333) How many Valentines cards did you receive this/last year?

334) What are cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?
Dragons, because they're like dinosaurs who can also breath fire.

335) Have you ever made your own ice lollies?
Like a popsicle? Yes. Ashley, I'm beginning to think that you stole this off of some British website.

336) Have you ever made your own ice cream?
No, but there's a super cool place in the mall that does it in front of you and you get to pick literally everything about it. That place has since closed and I'm quite sad about it.

337) Which foreign language did you have to learn at school?
I had to take Spanish, which I was decent at but I couldn't roll my R's. Later, I chose to take German, where I ended up teaching the teacher.

338) And do you still remember enough to hold a conversation in that language?
Not in Spanish. I know enough German to have a very limited, mostly curse-related conversation.

339) Do you know CPR?
Not since they changed it again.

340) Do you have any swimming badges?

341) Do you prefer digital or rotary/analogue clocks?
Digital for convenience, rotary/analogue for appearance.

342) How tall is the tallest person you know?
Close to seven feet or so. He won't tell us his exact height. I used to work with him. Whenever somebody needed him, they would ask me to find the man serving them. I would raise my hand above my head, they would nod, I would find his head sticking up over everyone else, and all would be well.

343) Have you ever gotten lost in a maze?

344) Have you ever been attacked by a wild animal?
Yes. A mother fucking bird dive-bombed me and chased me when I was trying to cross the mall parking lot to go to work.

345) Have you ever ridden a camel?

346) What's your opinion on rats?
Cute as pets, but not so much when they're wild and icky.

347) Have you ever been to a gym?
Yeah. I can't believe it either.

348) Have you ever been in a helicopter?
Not to my knowledge.

349) Have you ever cheated at a test?

350) Have you ever ridden a tractor?
Hell, I've driven one.

351) Are you a gossip?
I tell stories that involve me, but I don't gossip about other people's personal lives.

352) Have you ever cried at a film?
It has happened, very very rarely, but it usually has something to do with history or something completely horrific that just strikes a nerve with me.

353) When you're ill do you struggle on regardless or just curl up in bed as much as possible?
Both. I struggle on until there's just no more struggle left and then I curl up in bed and don't move until I'm no longer half dead.

354) Do you need to write down things to remember them?
Not always, but I do it with important things.

355) Do you keep a diary/journal?
This and also the book of poems that I wrote.

356) Are you scared of thunderstorms?

357) Do you have any unusual fears or phobias?
See #356.

358) What's your favorite Disney movie?
The Lion King.

359) Have you ever slept in a caravan?
I don't think so.

360) Have you ever painted a house?

361) Do you have green fingers?
Not at all.

362) What's the tallest tree you've ever climbed?
That would require me having climbed a tree.

363) Have you ever dialed The Talking Clock?
I am unsure what that is.

364) Do you always wear identical socks?
Yes. Different pairs fit differently and it bothers me.

365) Do you live by any motto or philosophy?
"Karma is a bitch."

366) Do you lick the yogurt or dessert lid?
Doesn't everyone?

367) Do you lick the spoon clean after making something sweet?
Doesn't everyone?

368) Do you like The Sound Of Music? (the musical/film)
Yeah, mostly because it's a true story.

369) Have you ever made your own orange juice?

370) Have you ever sucked on a lemon?
Yeah. The dentist was not happy with me.

371) Have you ever licked a battery?
I want to say no, but I have a feeling that I did as a kid.

372) Are you a good aim with a rubber band?
Absolutely. I always hit myself.

373) Have you ever played golf?
Only mini golf.

374) What's the most unusual name you've ever come across?
Montserrat. This is now up for the title with Quaxali. I'm not sure I spelled it right. She just goes by Q apparently.

375) Do you prefer to wash in the mornings or evenings?
At night.

376) Have you ever danced in the rain?

377) Do you like long or short hair?
On me? Long.

378) Have you ever sworn at an authority figure?

379) Have you ever walked into a wall?

380) What's your favorite precious metal?
What? Like... silver or gold? Silver.

381) What's your favorite precious stone?
Sapphire. It's also my birth stone. Blue is the most popular color, but I like the purple, pink, and red ones because they're more rare.

382) Could you ever hunt your own meal?
If I have no choice, yeah. I prefer to buy it at the grocery store and pretend it was never alive, but I'm not going to starve to death if it comes down to it.

383) Have you ever read any comics?

384) Where do you like to go to on a first date?
My boyfriend and I went to the mall on a double date and we also went to iHop alone. So yeah, that can be the answer.

385) Do you prefer vertical or horizontal stripes?

386) Have you ever baked your own bread?
Of course I have. I take garlic bread out of the packaging, put it in the oven at 375 degrees for five minutes, take it out, flip it, and put it back in for five minutes. It's very good with the spaghetti that comes out of the box and the sauce that comes out of the jar. (Actually, I do add to the sauce, but the rest is serious.)

387) Can you believe I can't believe its not butter is in fact not actually butter?
I'm sorry, I'm too distracted by the way this sentence is typed to answer it without my eye twitching.

388) Can you name all 50 American states?
Sure, let me just Google a list real quick and I'll read them to you.

389) Have you ever owned a goldfish?
I did. I named it Goldeen after the Pokemon and it used to swim to the top of the tank so I could pet it.

390) What was your favorite school subject?
Psychology. I did it in my high school classes and loved it. Sociology was also pretty cool, but I feel like I didn't quite understand that one as much.

391) What was your least favorite school subject?
Math. Math can go fuck itself. I hate math.

392) Have you ever passed wind in an embarrassing situation?
I don't think so. My mom probably did it for me though.

393) Have you ever played the bongos?
Maybe once in elementary school music class. 

394) Have you ever handled a snake?
I've handled a few snakes, actually.

395) Have you ever assembled furniture by yourself?
Yes. Yes I have. Because I am a badass.

396) When did you last go to the beach?

397) When, if ever, did you last go to Texas?
About a month ago. I went to see my grandparents and Grace (Sissi) was able to drive to come stay the night with us.

398) What do you do to cool down when its hot?
Water and laying down in front of the fans, wishing that I wasn't melting.

399) What's the most unusual thing you've ever eaten?
Oh. I'm not sure. I've had calamari, duck, deer, rabbit, bison/buffalo, sushi (which only some people think is weird), frog legs (to be fair, my mom told me that it was chicken). There's more on the list but I can't remember everything, which may say something all on it's own.

400) Do you have a favorite mug?
I'd have to go with my boyfriend's giant Tigger mug. I don't use it but it's pretty awesome.

401) Do you know any self-defense or martial arts?
When I was in fourth grade, I got a yellow belt in karate. But mostly, my parents taught me how to fight and defend myself.

402) Who's your favorite movie action hero?
For action movies, I don't know. Let's say that one guy Liam Neson plays in Taken because of that "I will find you and I will kill you" speech.

403) Have you ever ridden a motorcycle?
Yep! My awesome friend took me home from work on her motorcycle. I felt like a badass.

404) Do you collect anything?
I don't feel like I have any collections anymore, but I never throw anything away either. I used to collect Puffkins though. I had over a hundred and I have no clue where they are. I also had a shitton of Pokemon cards, but again, no clue what happened to them.

405) Is there anything you wished would come back into fashion?

406) Do you stick to conventional fashions or like to try and be original?
Neither. I just don't give a fuck and only even attempt to be cute when I have to go to work.

407) Have you ever given someone a handmade present?

408) Are you introvert or extrovert?
Introvert. I can pretend to be an extrovert at work, but no, I'm really not one.

409) If you could have any feature from an animal, what would you want?
The silent graceful-ninja qualities that cats possess.

410) What's your preferred swimming stroke?
The one that keeps me afloat.

411) Have you ever been scuba diving?
That would require having gone to the beach.

412) Have you ever had a disastrous interview?
Surprisingly, no. All of the interviews that I've had, have gotten me a job. The only one that didn't work out, was when I wanted to volunteer at a no-kill animal shelter, because I was a year too young. But I did interview a girl who showed up 15 minutes late, with a kid who may or may not have been her's, and a group of friends.

413) What makes you nervous?
Storms. Drunk people. When I'm on a time crunch.

414) Which of the 5 senses would you say is your strongest?
Smell. I feel like a bloodhound half the time.

415) What color are your eyes?
Green. They range from yellow-green to almost black depending on how I feel physically and emotionally. When I was little, they were never the same color. Like I was born with one blue eye and one green eye, then my mom would always have to look at my current eye color when filling out information for me for school IDs and stuff.

416) Have you ever been to an art gallery?
Like... an art museum? Yes. And no, I wasn't kicked out for being obnoxious.

417) Do you shout out the answers at the TV whilst watching quiz shows?
Sometimes. When I'm either positive that I'm right or I'm positive that I'm being a smartass.

418) Are you a valuable asset on a Pub Quiz team?
I would not be a valuable asset to anything pub-related.

419) Have you ever won any kind of quiz yourself?
Yes. I think. I'm not sure I understand the question.

420) Do you get over-involved with TV or movie plots at times?
Not so much movies and TV, but always with books. I have a hard time reading, because I just can't put the book down after I've started it.

421) Do you own any inflatable furniture?
No, but I do own an awesome beanbag chair.

422) What's the highest hill or mountain you've ever climbed?
Not a very tall one, because that would require effort and balance.

423) Do you have a piggy bank?
It's a Cinderella bank but I don't know where it is. I've also found that since the move.
424) What's the fastest you've ever traveled in a car?
Probably somewhere around 90 miles per hour. The fastest I've driven is somewhere around 60-65. I didn't know the road so I didn't feel comfortable or like I had control over the car to go the full 75. 

425) Could you ever hand milk a cow?
Probably, but I'd really rather not.

426) Do you have popcorn with a movie?
Sometimes. Usually, in a theater.

427) Whats the farthest you've ever got a paper airplane to fly?
A few feet.

428) Have you ever built an igloo?
Dude, I've lived in Texas, Louisiana, Alabama, and Arizona. Where would I have built an igloo?

429) Can you play the harmonica?
Not very well.

430) Have you ever made a ball of twine or rubberbands?
No, but Wolfy has one. It's like a freaking weapon.

431) If given the option of having a flake in your ice cream, do you always take it?
I feel as though this is some strange wording that I don't understand. All I want in my ice cream is the ice cream, maybe some candy or nuts or chocolate syrup but ew what the fuck are flakes?

432) Could you ever be a living organ donor?
I hope it would never come to that, but I would like to think I would be strong enough to do it.

433) Which was your favorite science: Biology, Physics or Chemistry?
I actually only took biology out of those classes, but I think chemistry would be fun.

434) Could you ever go out with someone just because they're rich?
Hell no.

435) Have you ever contemplated suing someone?
A few times.

436) Are you pretty devious?
When I really want to be.

437) Have you ever had a surprise party? (that was an actual surprise)
The Italian restaurant I used to work in gave another server and I a surprise party on our last night there, but the only one who thought it was a surprise was the manager. It was really nice. I ended up crying. Then I totally showed up like three times that following week, just to make sure I could finish my goodbyes. I even had a regular come over to me and tell me that he was going to miss me, to have a safe trip, and that I could always get the owner to contact him if I needed anything. It was a heartwarming week.

438) Are you any good at giving massages?
Ashley, again, I feel like you're hitting on me.

439) What's been your worst date ever?
I haven't had a bad one?

440) Have you ever slapped someone in public?
Yes, but that shouldn't be surprising coming from me.

441) Have you ever drawn on a sleeping or inebriated person?
No, but only because I never seem to have markets available.

442) Have you ever worn clothing with the labels/tags still attached?
To be fair, I didn't know it was still there.

443) Have you ever slipped on a banana skin?
It might be the only thing that I haven't slipped on.

444) Are you scared of the dark?
No. What's in the dark, though, is a whole other story.

445) Do you have a lawyer?
I'm too poor for that.

446) Have you ever been wolf whistled at in public?
A few times. Every time it happens, I start screaming at people. One time I even told security because my underage employee was also being targeted and I was most certainly not okay with that. 

447) What's the worst pick up line you've heard?
Worst as in the baddest or worst as in, "that's so bad that it's actually really funny?" because there are no good pick up lines.
The worst one is the obvious, "Is that a __ in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
The funniest is one that made me start laughing when my friend told me, "You're like my pinky toe because I'm gonna bang you on the table later." I don't know where she heard it from.

448) Have you ever been water skiing?
That would require some sort of balance, which I do not have.

449) Have you ever hopelessly failed a test?
A few, yes, but I learned from it.

450) If you had a year off, what would you want to do?

451) How many text messages do you receive on average a day?
Quite a few, usually.

452) How long did you last phone call last?
14 minutes.

453) Do you go to car boot sales?
I don't know what this means.

454) If you saw someone drop a ten dollars, would you claim it for your own or try to return it to them?
I would return it to them. There's always the chance that they need it more than I would or the chance that the gesture could mean something more than the ten dollars is actually worth.

455) Have you ever helped someone across the road?
I've never seen anyone who's needed help across the road.

456) Have you ever been horse-riding?
Yes. I love it.

457) Have you ever walked a tightrope?
Again, that would require some sense of balance, which I lack.

458) Have you ever demolished a wall or building?
I don't think so. Unfortunately.

459) If you and a friend both wanted the same thing, would you let the friend get it first?
I fail to see why we couldn't get it at the same time, but yeah, sure.

460) Have you ever argued over who should pay for something?
I've argued that I should be the one to pay, but I don't think I've ever argued that somebody should pay something for me.

461) Do you have any family heirlooms?
Apparently, my dad's mom has a ring that is an heirloom to be given to me, but I haven't talked to her in like two years so there's that. Update: She actually called me about a month after I did this last year and left me a three minute voicemail bitching me out for not calling her, when I didn't even have her phone number. I still haven't talked to her and I don't care to.

462) Are you related or distantly related to anyone famous?
My dad's family is pretty infamous in their town.

463) What's your favorite ocean?
I've never been to any ocean.

464) Do you correct peoples mistakes?
I've learned it needs to be "we have to correct it" otherwise I can't properly teach them.

465) Have you ever helped out an injured animal?
So many, actually.

466) Do you throw bread for the ducks?
I used to, until they started chasing me.

467) Do you think babies are little bundles of joy or smelly noisy things?
I like babies just fine when they're sleeping or playing. When they become smelly and noisy, I like them a little less.

468) Do you give money to buskers?
I don't know what a busker is.
I just Googled it. Apparently, it's a street performer, which I have never actually seen.

469) Have you ever tossed your own pancake?
I can barely flip them with a spatula. No way I'm gonna toss it into the air.

470) Are you any good at egg and spoon races?
I've never done it.

471) Are you allergic to anything?
Spinach, aloe vera, cocoa butter, latex, and bullshit.

472) Are you ticklish?
Yes, but I am not responsible for your injuries if you tickle me.

473) Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?
Sweet tea, hot cocoa, black tea, other hot teas. In that order. Not green tea or coffee because ick.

474) Do you like Turkish Delight?
I've never had it.

475) Do you buy people presents to bring back when you go on holiday?
Yeah, I only remembered to give Wolfy's his though and now I'm worried that because a month has passed its too late and it'll be awkward.

476) Are you tired of answering questions yet?
Yes. Fuck you.

477) Have you ever been wheelbarrow racing?

478) Do you ever forward or reply to chain mails?
No. I roll my eyes and delete them.

479) Do you often have a tune in your head you can't name?
I usually know the song that gets stuck in my head.

480) Has anyone ever approached you thinking you were someone else?
I don't think so, but I have been told that I look like a lot of peoples' family members.

481) Have you ever been approached by someone who knew you but you couldn't remember them for the life of you?
Yes. In fourth grade, a girl came up to me and was talking about how we were best friends in pre-k and that it was awesome to see me. To this day, I don't remember her, and I feel horrible about it.

482) What do you do to keep fit?
I walk everywhere.

483) Are you the sort to step in and try to break up a fight?
Yes, but I'm not afraid to dish out an ass-whooping if somebody needs it.

484) Have you ever been in a fight?
Yes and I won.

485) Have you ever started a rumor?
Not intentionally, but it's probably happened.

486) Have you ever heard any outstanding rumors about yourself?
I was accused of dating my mom's now live-in boyfriend who was not her boyfriend at the time.

487) Have you ever been in or had a food fight?
Only with my mom, because I'm cool like that.

488) When its your birthday, do you always wear an age badge?
I don't think I've ever worn an age badge.

489) Have you ever starred in an amateur or professional video?

490) If you were comfortably rich, would you work hard for more or rest on your laurels?
I don't know what a "laurel" is, but I would probably work hard. Even if I wasn't working for more money, I would have to find something to work for.

491) Have you ever been in a position of authority?
You may have noticed me bragging about being a manager...

492) Have you ever been caught in a compromising position? Even despite a valid explanation?
One time, Wolfy and I were smacking each other with a cardboard cover for a DVD case, on our side of the living room, which was separated by a huge box. I wrestled it away from him, but he took it back and I somehow ended up on the floor. We kept fighting over it. Suddenly, Roommate goes, "What are you doing? I look over and all I can see over the box, is Rachel's head bobbing around down there." It got awkward very quickly.

493) Have you ever tried to make your own alcohol?
I can't even make my own food half the time.

494) If you were ruler of your own country, what would you call it?

495) And what title would you give yourself?
Queen Rachel, Awesome Ruler To All

496) If you invented a monster, what would you call it?

497) And what features would it have?
Razor sharp teeth, fire breathing, ninja-skills, and completely loyal only to me.

498) Have you ever had a dream you chased, only to be let down when you achieved it?
I don't think so. I think I've at least been happy that I've achieved it.

499) Is there anything about the opposite sex you just don't understand or comprehend?
So many things.

500) Who was your favorite teacher at school and why?
My fifth grade math teacher, actually. Shocker, I know, because math. She was the only math teacher at school that I ever had, who made sure that everyone understood what was going on. It was the last year I did well in math class and she was a wonderful lady.

501) What's your favorite party game?
I don't party or go to parties or even know what party games there are.

502) Is it acceptable or unacceptable to smack a child as form of discipline?
It is absolute unacceptable to smack a child for any reason at all. One spanking on the bum, with the hand, for a severe reason is entirely different than smacking a child. It's when people stopped learning the difference that child abuse and horrible behaving kids became the norm.

503) Can a heterosexual male ever wear pink?
Can a heterosexual woman ever wear blue? There are no "gay" colors.

504) Is it criminal to wear socks with sandals?
I used to say no, but since I started working in a shoe store, I'm going to say yes. Some feet just need to be covered. Once, I saw a lady who had a toe growing out of her toe. She made me help her put shoes on. I'm going to need years of therapy from that one.

505) If you were captain of a ship, what would you call it?
That way it could be Relation-Ship.
Ha. Puns.

506) If you were to join an emergency service, which would it be?
I'd be a cop, because I can shoot a gun.

507) If you were to join one of the armed forced, which would it be?
Probably the ARMY, because I wouldn't handle ships or planes very well for long periods of time.

508) What's the worst thing about being your gender?
Well, it's two things, depending on the circumstance: Getting your period or not getting your period.

509) What's the best thing about being your gender?
We can't be kicked in the balls.

510) If you swapped genders for a day, how would you spend it?
I would probably go around and tell women that they're beautiful and to never let a man wolf-whistle or cat-call them.

511) If you were exiled, what country would you choose as your new home?
England. Because as much as I want to see all European countries, I'm no good with languages.

512) Have you ever made someone cry?

513) Have you ever starred in a school play?
In third grade, I played the butterfly in a play that we did. I had the most lines out of all of the females and they were the longest lines. I put off learning the lines until the last minute but I'm the only one who didn't stumble on stage. Go figure, now I can't speak worth a shit and I get all my words confused.

514) Were you a member of any celebrity fanclub?

515) Have you ever been a member of any other club?
I did some music club thingy in fourth grade, where we had to learn all about different classical music. I never tried to learn for that either but I made first alternate, if one of the four people in the competition got sick. Imagine if I had actually tried, huh? I also did Newspaper and German classes in seventh grade, which counted as "clubs" in that school.

516) If you could have a full scholarship to any university, what would you choose to study?
Everything. If I had to actually pick one, psychology.

517) What's been your greatest ever day?
I couldn't possibly choose.

518) What historical period would you like to live in, if you could go back in time?
All of them. I love history so I want to see everything.

519) What would you bring along to an idyllic picnic?
Barbecue. Because Ashley just mentioned it and it sounds fucking fantastic right now.

520) What's your favorite childrens' story?
I mean, they're all kind of fucked up, aren't they? Most of them end with somebody eating somebody else. That being said, I'm super curious about all of the original stories by the Grimm brothers. If anyone knows where I can find a book with all of their stories in it (for cheap), let me know.

521) What movie ending really frustrated you? And how would you change it?
The ending to Stand By Me because it was so fucking sad. I would have made it a happy ending.

522) What three things do you think of most each day?
My boyfriend, my mom, and the ones that I lost.

523) What do you call your evening meal? Dinner Tea or Supper?

524) What do you call your after meal sweet? Pudding or Dessert?
Dessert. Which I want now. Thanks a lot, Ashley.

525) If you had a warning label, what would yours say?
"Warning: Zero to Bitch in 0.5 seconds if you push the wrong button."

526) Have you ever got sweet revenge on anyone?
One time, my dad tried to wrestle me and I punched him in the dick. So yeah, I would say I got pretty good revenge. I literally laughed for twenty minutes.

527) Have you ever been to a live concert?
Yes and it was beyond amazing.

528) Have you ever been to see stand up comedy?

529) Have you ever needed stitches?
I had to get stitches when I had my wisdom teeth out. They dissolved until they fell out. It was icky.

530) If you could invent brand new baby names, what would they be?
I feel like baby names should just be kept normal with all of the things that celebs are calling their kids now.

531) Do your dreams ever tell you to do anything?
I've had dreams that predicted what was going to happen, down to the exact wording somebody else has said. I also had a period where I dreamed that I was dying every time I slept for about a week, which was an indicator of stress, which turned out to be true. I located the source of the stress, removed it, and I was fine after that.

532) Who's your favorite radio 1 DJ?
That's not a thing in America, is it?

533) What's the best way to your heart?
Be a good person and prove it.

534) Do you know your own mobile phone number off by heart?
Yes. I use the last four digits as my number to access the computer at work so I was forced to memorize it.

535) If you were a fashion designer, what style of clothing or accessories would you design?
Probably dresses, because I feel like they're very limited now- either super short or super long.

536) Do you ever laugh at things you shouldn't?
I mean, with some stuff I've laughed at, I'm probably going to Hell.

537) Have you ever been in a submarine?
Yes, at Seaworld. They had rings underwater and my uncle had me convinced that mermaids were real for about three years because of it. Asshole.

538) Have you ever walked out of a cinema before the film was done?
No, but I went to see Vampires Suck and I should have.

539) What song would you say best sums you up?
Years ago, Sissi decided that "Headstrong" by Trapt is my theme song.

540) Do you have any old friends you wish you could meet up with again?
So many. If I had to pick one, I would say my friend Dana. She lived across the street from me when we were in third grade and she came from a really bad family. She was a wonderful friend to me and I just want to know that things turned out okay for her.

541) What's your favorite nursery rhyme?
Ring-Around-The-Rosie because I've scared people when I've said it. I also used to scare people with the Lizzie Borden nursery rhyme. It's not really a nursery rhyme but it goes to the tune of one. It goes like this:
Lizzie Borden had an ax
She gave her mother forty whacks
When she realized what she'd done
She gave her father forty-one

542) Do you prefer metric or imperial measurements?
The one with inches.

543) Who's your favorite monarch of all time?
Princess Diana. She totally counts, like it or not, because she did so many amazing things.

544) What was the last thing you ate?
A breakfast burrito but I'm about to get more food.

545) What's your favorite farmyard animal?

546) If you could choose one celebrity to be the father/mother of your child, who would it be?
Can I just say none? They're all kind of batshit crazy or their kids are batshit crazy and that's just scary.

547) What would you do if someone proposed to you tomorrow?
Point out the fact that I have a boyfriend who I will be quite happy to sic on them.

548) What are your 3 favorite internet sites?
Can I just go with most used because I don't surf the internet anymore? Blogger, twitter, Facebook.

549) How high can you jump?
Not very.

550) Which fictional character do you wish was real?
Harry Potter because that would mean that the entire world was real.

551) Who was your first crush?
A kid in my class in fourth grade who had no idea that I existed. Until my friend told her friend who told her friends who told his friends, who told him and the school and mortally embarrassed both of us for the entire school year.

552) What's the greatest thing about being your nationality?
Everything we have here, comes from another country.

553) What's the least greatest thing about being your nationality?
The only things that we have that come from our country, are super bad for you.

554) Do you believe in destiny, fate or free will?
I believe that God has a plan for everyone, but He will give you the chance to make the right choices for yourself.

555) If you could talk to one species of animal, which would it be?
Cats. Because awww.

556) If you had friends round what DVD's would you have to watch?
That would depend on the friend. With Tony, it would be anything scary. Sissi, it would be Coyote Ugly or Scooby-Doo On Zombie Island. Ashley, it would be some sort of cartoon so she wouldn't tell me all the dirty things that she wants to do to the lead character.

557) Do you like vanilla or chocolate?
Chocolate in candy in ice cream, but vanilla in most everything else.

558) Are you a giver or a receiver?
I hope I'm a giver.

559) Do you have any enemies?
Roommate. I'm unsure if he's aware of that though. He is no longer our roommate so I don't hate him as much anymore.
560) Are you scared of needles?
Only used ones.

561) How many piercings do you have? 
Both ears were done with I was two months old.
Both cartilage was done when I was twelve, but only have the right one now.
Second piercing in each ear when I was eighteen, plus a nose ring that same day which Evil Steakhouse made me take out.
Redid the cartilage in the left ear, but it didn't last more than two weeks.
I want my nose redone and I'm considering a belly-ring now.
You do the math.

562) Have you ever got majorly lost trying to get somewhere?
I almost ended up in another state trying to get home from a concert. I also ended up on a freeway that I wasn't supposed to be on.

563) How fast can you say the alphabet?
4.12 seconds, according to the timer on my phone. Ha! 3.78 seconds this year! 

564) Do you say "Zee" or "Zed" to describe the letter Z?

565) What was the last thing to make you feel happy?
My boyfriend made me breakfast two days in a row and cleaned the hamster cage for me, all without being asked.

566) What was the last thing to make you feel angry?
Stupid people being homophobic or racist on Facebook. I've been clearing out a lot of people because I refuse to be friends with people who spread hate against other people. I'm not saying you have to like or even support gay marriage, but when you start bashing people and saying they're going to burn in Hell, I have a problem.

567) You are walking to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss told you if you are late one more time you're fired. Do you save the dog?
If my boss is that much of an ass, I don't need to be working for him anyways. Save the dog.

568) Are you the kind of friend you'd want to have as a friend yourself?

569) Do you have any questions or queries about things you're just to scared or embarrassed to ask anyone about?
Nope. If you don't ask, you don't learn. Also, Sissi and Ashley have no limits with me.

570) If you were a wrestler, what would your stage name be?
Puny. Because wrestlers are fucking huge and would totally dwarf me.

571) And what would your special move be called?
The throat-punch. The name says it all.

572) What's the most interesting thing you can see out of your nearest window?
A parking lot.

573) Do you think Barbie is a negative role model for young girls?
I don't think so. Young girls want to be beautiful, regardless of Barbie. It's the celebrities and people that they interact with that I think can be bad role models.

574) Have you ever needed an eye test?
Most likely. I got my glasses last November so the time is coming up for me to go back for another exam.

575) Do you find yourself attractive?
I would say I'm kind of cute. Girl next door kind of cute.

576) Can you roll your R's?
If I could roll my R's, I would be better at languages.

577) What social class do you consider yourself or your family background to be in?
I've been average to right above hobo, so I come from a fair variety. Right now, I would say normal. Bills are paid, I have a little money, but I can't go out and buy a Ferrari.

578) Do you know any magic tricks?

579) What's the largest amount of money you've ever won?
I'm not sure I've ever actually won money.

580) What's the largest amount of money you've spent in one spree?
Excluding plane tickets and bills, probably when I bought Wolfy's Xbox One last Christmas. It was like $500. For myself, it would be around $100-150 when I found fucking fantastic sales. For myself, it would be when I finally had to give in and buy a laptop because the other one when RIP. So roughly $250 plus anti-virus.

581) What's the largest amount of money you've had to borrow off of a friend or family member?
Since I became an adult, I don't think I've borrowed much. When I went to the concert, I borrowed $2 for the parking garage and then $2 for a tshirt, which I paid back the next day.

582) Have you ever been on a cable car?

583) Do you prefer honey or jam?
On toast, jam.
In tea, honey.

584) Do you prefer the French or Germans?
I prefer German food, but I absolutely refuse to answer a question about an entire nationality based on a few encounters with people I've had from those countries.

585) How fast can you get changed?
If I have to look cute, five minutes. If I'm not trying, maybe one or two. That's all including picking the clothes.

586) How fast do you type?
According to the three online tests I just took to find out:
64 wpm (the store did call during this one so I had to stop it early)
63 wpm
64 wpm
So that abour averages it out, I guess.
587) How fast can you run?
Not very.

588) Which is better: Mario or Sonic?
I've only played Mariokart and Mario Party, but never any Sonic game.

589) What's your favorite biscuit to dunk?

590) Which would you rather have if you had to: a broken leg or a broken arm?
A broken arm, because I have to climb ladders and walk to work every day.

591) Do you read a daily newspaper?

592) Do you watch the news on TV?

593) Have you ever had anything published?
Not yet.

594) Do you believe in love at first sight?

595) How many remote controls do you have in your house?
Three for the TVs. No fucking clue for game consoles.

596) Have you ever been in a hot tub or sauna?
Hot tub. My grandparents had one in their old house and they have one in their new house.

597) Have you ever had chicken pox?
Nope and I would like to keep it that way.

598) Do you own a lava lamp?
I don't. I never understood the fascination with them.

599) Are you glad these are almost over?
Excuse me, but I have like 200 questions left. That is not almost over.

600) On a scale of 1-10, how random would you say these are?
Four, only because I noticed that a lot of questions spur questions of a similar nature.

601) What is your one major weakness?
I am sarcastic to a fault.

602) What's been the best decision you've made in your life so far?
Moving to Arizona.

603) What's been the worst decision you've made in your life so far?
I did something that resulted in me losing the most important person in my life.

604) What words do you always struggle to spell correctly?
"Separately" is probably my biggest struggle. I also can't tell "affect" and "effect" apart.

605) On a scale of 1-10 how happy would you say you are?
At the moment? Probably about a 3/10 because these questions are not "almost over".

606) On a scale of 1-10 how smart would you say you are?
I'm unsure how to answer this because I can say that most of my generation would be like 4/10 but 10/10 is like Stephen Hawking. Maybe 6/10? I don't know.

607) On a scale of 1-10 how funny would you say you are?
9/10 when people think I'm being funny but I'm actually just being mean.

608) On a scale of 1-10 how devious would you say you are?
Like a 2/10.

609) On a scale of 1-10 how awesome would you say you are?
11/10 duh.

610) On a scale of 1-10 how devilsh would you say you are?
3/10 because I'm mean.

611) On a scale of 1-10 how nice/caring would you say you are?
7/10 because I do care, but I'm also very quick to not care when somebody is an ass.

612) On a scale of 1-10 how bitchy would you say you are?
On the average day, 1/10 until somebody is an ass and then straight to 10/10.

613) On a scale of 1-10 how polite would you say you are?
I never say "sir" or "ma'am" until somebody pisses me off so I'm gonna say 6/10 because at least I say "thank you" and smile.

614) On a scale of 1-10 how attractive would you say you are?
5/10 because that's average.

615) If you could be any famous person, who would you be and why?
I would be me, except famous, because I don't want to be anyone else.

616) What's your favorite animal beginning with the letter A?
Alpaca because the baby ones are all furry and cute.

617) What's your favorite item of clothing beginning with the letter B?

618) What's your favorite expletive beginning with the letter C?
The only one I know is "cunt".

619) What's your favorite boys name beginning with the letter D?

620) What's your favorite girls name beginning with the letter E?

621) What's your favorite book beginning with the letter F?
I don't know any books that start with F except Fifty Shades Of Grey and I would rather walk across hot coals barefoot than read those books.

622) What's your favorite body-part beginning with the letter G?
Gums because they  hold my teeth in place.

623) What's your favorite musical instrument beginning with the letter H?

624) What's your favorite song beginning with the letter I?
"I'm Not Okay (I Promise)" by My Chemical Romance

625) What's your favorite actress beginning with the letter J?
Jennifer Lawerence.

626) What's your favorite actor beginning with the letter K?
Kiefer Sutherland.

627) What's your favorite film beginning with the letter L?
(The) Lion King.

628) What's your favorite TV show beginning with the letter M?
Malcolm In The Middle.

629) What's your favorite game beginning with the letter N?
I can't even find a game that starts with N on Google.

630) What's your favorite non-alcoholic drink beginning with the letter O?
Orange soda, which I have some in the fridge right now. I do! It's a new bottle. It's not a year old.

631) What's your favorite food beginning with the letter P?

632) What's your favorite band beginning with the letter Q?

633) What's your favorite author beginning with the letter R?
(JK) Rowling.

634) What's your favorite sport beginning with the letter S?
Literally, the only one I can name is soccer.

635) What's your favorite job beginning with the letter T?
Teachers. The good teachers, anyways.

636) What's your favorite mythical creature beginning with the letter U?

637) What's your favorite alcoholic drink beginning with the letter V?
The only one I can name is vodka, but that's also the only thing I've ever had. So I guess it's favorite by default.

638) What's your favorite cartoon character beginning with the letter W?
Wile E. Coyote.

639) What's your favorite word beginning with the letter X?
As in, excuse me Ashley, but fuck you. I love you, but fuck you. I feel like I'm being quizzed on whether or not I know the alphabet.

640) What's your favorite city beginning with the letter Y?
Yorkshire because it's the only one I can name.

641) What's your favorite country beginning with the letter Z?

642) Do you get seasick?
No, but I can feel motion sick from airplanes and cars.

643) If you discovered a new species of dinosaur, what would you call it?

644) Do you own a paddling pool?
I own a bathtub and a imagination.

645) What do you consider is the most important piece of furniture in a house?
A bed.

646) What do you consider is the most important appliance in a house?
I feel like I answered this one.

647) If you could have any celebrity's hair whose would it be?
Jamie O'Neal back when she did the music video for There Is No Arizona.

648) Which celebrity do you find the most annoying?

649) What potential talents do you think you might have if you worked at them?
If I had worked at it, and hadn't had hearing loss, I think I would be decent at singing. I also think that I would have been good at gymnastics, had I not been taken out of the classes.

650) Who was better: Flipper, Lassie or Skippy?
I don't know if Flipper is a whale or a dolphin. I don't know what a Skippy is. So Lassie by default.

651) If you could be trained up in any profession of your choice, by top professionals, what profession would you choose?
Excluding things with schooling, like psychology, I would probably say cooking. That way I could have a hope not to accidentally food poison us one day.

652) If someone else's child was being an annoying little runt, would you go tell them off or do something about it?
I see those kids in the store all the time. I had one woman struggling to control her daughter to the point she asked if she could use the store bathroom to spank her (I said no) so I apologized to her and told her that I was glad she was at least trying.
One guy let his kid beat on the glass windows and then complained to one of my girls that the glass was too fragile and could break. I would have told him that it wasn't our fault if his kid thought the glass window was a punching bag and asked him to leave the store.
Generally, I ignore it and mentally believe that the parents deserve it, if they aren't even trying to control the kids.

653) Do you believe in karma?

654) Do you believe in revenge?
No, because I believe in karma.

655) Do you believe in fairies?
Maybe The Tooth Fairy but that's all.

656) Do you believe in a God?

657) Do you believe there used to be dragons?
No, but that would be bad ass.

658) Who would you want to be with on a desert island?
My heart says my boyfriend. My brain says a genie so I can wish myself off the island.

659) What's the worst show on television?
All of the kid pageant shows.

660) Who's your favorite God from ancient history?
I'm gonna go with the God I believe in.

661) What one device would you want to see added to a mobile phone?
Everything but a toilet has been added to a phone and I don't exactly want to pee on my phone.

662) Where do you see yourself in 1 month's time?
Being thankful that these questions are over.

663) Where do you see yourself in 1 year's time?
Answering these questions.

664) Where do you see yourself in 10 year's time?
Either answering these questions or wondering why I spent so many hours answering the questions when I was 21. And 22.

665) What was the best thing about your old school?
Assuming this means the most recent public school that I was in, the English teacher and the school guard.

666) What was the worst thing about your old school?
Everything. I find it perfect that this falls on question 666 because that place was my own personal hell.

667) If you could change your name to anything, what would your new name be?
Rowan, because that's what my mom almost named me.

668) Do you watch too much TV?
I actually don't watch that much TV.

669) Have you ever planted a tree?

670) What's the heaviest thing you can lift?
My mom's 130 pound dog. I can't lift him very high.

671) What was the last present you received?
My hamster.

672) Are your ears lobed or attached?
I just Googled it and then had to look. I think attached.

673) How often do you wash your ears?
Every shower.

674) Could you go out with someone who had a child from a previous relationship?
I would have to be on good terms with both parents and the child to even consider it.

675) What was your first alcoholic drink?
We just went over this though.

676) What was your first job?
Officially, a runner/hostess in the Italian restaurant.
Unofficially, babysitting full time and helping my mom as an office assistant part time.

677) What was your first car? (Or what would you like it to be?)
I can't name cars though.

678) What was your first mobile phone?
A silver flip phone.

679) What is your first proper memory?
I'm unsure what comes first:
Either it was at my dad's parent's house with my Pawpaw. He was gardening and telling me that even if I see a worm, don't touch it because it could be a small snake. I was 2-3.
Or it was at that house, with each of my dad's sisters (there are three) because told to go to bed. One at a time, they all came up and said, "You're gonna be just like me, right?" and I promised all of them. My mom said I got a trait from each of them.

680) Who was your first teacher?
I don't remember her name but she was a nice, blond woman in my pre-k class. She left halfway through the year because of "pregnancy" but in reality, the school was getting rid of her for something that wasn't her fault. I don't remember what though. We also had a teacher's aid who I had again when I was in third grade and she remembered me.

681) Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane?
I went from Alabama to Texas, to see my grandparents. I think I was three months old. Ironically, I went out of the same airport to the same airport when I was seventeen, to visit Sissi.

682) Who was your first best friend?
A boy named Timothy from my pre-k class. I don't remember him well but we were inseparable until I had to move.

683) What was your first detention for?
It was a lunch detention in seventh grade. My teacher knew I had to go up a flight of stairs, run almost all the way across the school, and down three flights of stairs (because I couldn't just go down the sixth grader hallway to save time) and I walked in just as the bell rang. So she gave me lunch detention and I considered walking out of the class so that I would have actually earned it. 

684) What's your strongest voluntary muscle?
Piss me off and you'll find out.

685) Who was your first kiss?
My boyfriend.

686) What was the first film you remember seeing at the cinema?
Pokemon: The First Movie- Mewtwo Strikes Back. It came out in 1998.

687) What thing that you've made, are you most proud of?
Who I am.

688) Could you ever be someones body guard?
I was basically my mom's body guard for twenty years, so yes.

689) Michelangelo's David... Masterpiece or filth?
A masterpiece that needs pants.

690) Do you like other people buying you clothes?
If I get to try it on first so that I know they're not wasting money.

691) Have you ever brought a present for someone that they hated/disliked?

692) What nicknames do you have/have had?
I've had about a billion, but let's stick to the one that everyone uses, that I've had since I was little: Rach.
It's pronounced like Ray-che. But it's spelled like it would be pronounced like rack or rash.

693) Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?
Yes. My mom is convinced that they weren't so much imaginary as they were...deceased relatives coming by to play.

694) Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?
I talked to one a few times, when somebody I knew was seeing one, but they were never able to really do anything for me. They kept asking me to come back though so that's a worrying sign.

695) Have you ever carved a pumpkin?
It ended badly.

696) Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?
Probably somewhere in between. I try to be a good influence but I'm so sassy and easy-going most of the time, that it doesn't always work.

697) Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help etc?

698) If you were a member of The Spice Girls, what would your spice handle be?
I don't know what ones are already taken.

699) If you were to become a famous singer, what would your debut album be called?
"You Must Be Deaf".

700) If you could join any music group, which would you want to join?
My Chemical Romance. If they got back together.

701) What do your parents do?
I think my dad still fixes military trucks. My mom is in between jobs but she specializes in management.

702) If you were a giant mega monster, what city would you rampage?
An abandoned one. No. Wait. Fill an island with child molesters, rapists, abusers, and other people of that category and let me squash them all. That would solve the over population problem and the horrible people problem.

703) Did you ever have a tree-house as a kid?
No. The trees didn't offer enough support on lower branches and were too close together on higher branches.

704) Is your dad an embarrassing dancer?
I'm not allowed to ask him to dance because of it.

705) Do you plan to vote in the next election?
I'll vote when I wholeheartedly agree and understand every thing that a candidate says. Which isn't likely since I don't follow it. Please don't vote for Trump though. I legit can't believe he's running and 100% we will end up in another world war if he were to win.

706) If you could replace one body-part with a super bionic replacement, what body-part and what features would the new bionic replacement have?
Bionic eyes, that way I wouldn't ever need glasses again.

707) What, if any, unusual objects have you swallowed?
I don't think I have. I think I was pretty good about not eating non-food things.

708) When you buy something new, do you get a desire to use/play with it, even when they don't have any physical application yet?
A new toy means that you always want to play with it.

709) Did you understand the Matrix Trilogy?
I only saw bits and pieces, but no, I didn't understand what I saw.

710) Would you rather be the fella in a movie who gets the girl or the baddie with all the good lines?
My first reaction was "the baddie!" but then I realized that the baddie usually dies or goes to jail, so I change my mind.

711) If you were stinking rich, would you only go to places other rich people went?
No. I would go wherever I wanted to go.

712) Would you rather have a man's top half and a woman's bottom half or visa versa?
Like...where does the half end? I think the man's top half, because then you can't get pregnant and don't have to worry about where the baby is gonna come out of if the half is slightly above the legs.

713) Rebound relationships: good or bad?

714) Have you ever owned a slinky?
Yes. They're not much fun.

715) Teenage parents: good, bad, or indifferent?
Some of the best parents I've seen are teenage parents, while some of the worst are older adults. Then again, I've seen some fantastic adults parents and some shitty teenage parents. It depends on the situation. Ultimately, I do think that ALL parents should wait until they're ready and stable.

716) What's the most expensive thing you've ever broken?
Probably a phone.

717) Pirate downloads: good or bad?
Bad. That being said, I think you should be allowed to buy one copy and have it on however many devices you personally own.

718) Democracy: good or bad?

719) Communism: good or bad?
Mostly bad, but not all bad. 

720) Have you ever been electrocuted?
Damn shockpens.

721) Have you ever been attacked with a creamy bakery product?
...No? Is that a normal thing?

722) Have you ever shewn a sheep?

723) Have you ever accidentally set fire to yourself?
By some miracle, no.

724) Have you ever eaten a whole tube of Pringles by yourself?
Yes. I was kind of impressed and ashamed all at the same time.

725) Have you ever been hit on by someone of the same gender?
She hit on me to the point that I used to hide from her.

726) The war in Iraq: good or bad?
All wars are bad.

727) The war in Afghanistan: good or bad?
See #726.

728) Have you ever appeared on Youtube?
Only on videos for here, so no, not really.

729) Have you ever performed in front of a large audience?
Third grade school play. Three shows. One for the entire school, two for the parents, if I remember correctly.

730) Have you ever eaten anything prepared by a celebrity chef?
I wish.

731) Have you ever been on radio?

732) Did your school make a tea-towel that everyone submitted to?
I'm unsure what that is.

733) What were your school colors?
The hell if I know.

734) Do you have to wear glasses?
Yes, but I need new ones.

735) Do you bite your nails?

736) Do you prefer male or female singers voices?
I would probably say male, simply because my two favorite singers have male leads. Otherwise, I wouldn't have an answer.

737) Would you rather be the world's greatest football player or lover?
Well, I don't give a fuck about football.

738) Do you get hay-fever?
I'm not really sure what this is.

739) Do you have a list of things to do before your 'x' years old?
Nope. It would stress me out, because I would forget until like a month until that birthday.

740) Do you like your age?
I don't really care. I mean, it doesn't seem like it matters since I don't go out to party.

741) What's your favorite physical thing you like about yourself?
My eyes.

742) What's your least favorite physical thing you like about yourself?
My chest, or lack thereof. It doesn't bother me until I have fourteen year olds come into the store with like DD's and then I'm like, "...Oh. Well then."

743) Are you proud, comfortable, or ashamed of your body?

744) What's your favorite personality trait you like about yourself?
I'm strong.

745) What's your least favorite personality trait you like about yourself?
I'm too stubborn sometimes.

746) Do you know html?

747) Have you ever flown first class?
Unfortunately, no.

748) How many languages do you speak?
English, Bitch, Sarcasm, and Profanity.

749) What's better: violins or pianos?
I prefer the sound of the piano.

750) What's the fastest you've ever driven? (as driver or passenger)
I am 100% sure that I've answered this before.

751) What compulsions do you have?
I would like to say nothing, but that's a load of poo. I've become very OCD about the store lately.

752) What makes you angry?
Many, many things.

753) If you could see any band, which would you like to see?
My Chemical Romance but they broke up.

754) Who would you say are more attractive: English or Europeans?
The English are Europeans...?

755) What would you say is your favorite album of all time?
The Black Parade by My Chemical Romance. I used to listen to it on repeat. A very close second is One-X by Three Days Grace. Another one I listened to on repeat. Those are my go-to albums when I'm upset.

756) Do you dislike hairy people?
As long as they are clean, I don't give a fuck.

757) Are you much of an adventurer?
Yes, but I'm also lazy, so no.

758) Do you like your own name?
Yeah. Not a huge fan of the last name but that's only because of the family it's attached to.

759) Would you ever sign a Prenuptial agreement?
I don't see why not.

760) How long has your longest ever phone call been?
Oh goodness. I don't know. I used to talk literally all night to Sissi on the phone. I forgot how to make phone calls after that though and now I'm the most awkward person you can talk to on the phone.

761) Have you ever stolen anything?
Not intentionally.

762) Could you ever have an affair with a married person?
Hell no.

763) Could you ever split up a couple for one reason or another?
Only if somebody was being hurt, directly by the relationship.

764) What are your family Christmases like?

765) Do you prefer sporty or academic members of the opposite sex?

766) How much would it cost to buy your love?
Honesty, respect, support, and a giant cookie.

767) Who was your least favorite teacher at school and why?
My seventh grade reading teacher because she was a horrible person.

768) If you met a genie who offered you three wishes, what would you wish for? (More wishes does not count.)
More genies.

769) What's your current mobile phone model and do you like it?
iPhone 4S. I like the iPhone fine, but it's the older models that drive me crazy because they're not up to date.

770) Night or day?

771) In or out?

772) Top or bottom?

773) Fast or Slow?
It just occurred to me that you're hitting on me again. Ashley, I love you, but only as a friend. I already have a boyfriend.

774) Skinny or fat?

775) Sexy or nice?

776) Green eyes or brown eyes?

777) Harry Potter or Hunger Games?
Harry Potter.

778) Have you already thought about your baby's names?
Only because fucking everyone asks girls what they're going to name their babies.

779) Have you ever been fishing?
I come from a family of rednecks. I caught my first fish when I was in a stroller.

780) Have you ever had your national flag painted on your face?
Nope. Thank goodness I was allergic to face paint when I was little.

781) Do you have any strange body things?
I'm gonna need some clarification on what the heck that is.

782) What was the last social faux pas you made?
Probably the last communication I had with anyone.

783) What makes you nostalgic?
A mention of anything to do with the past. I had a lady mention she worked at Hallmark and I started thinking about toys I got there with my mom when I was little. Tony mentioned an inside joke and I thought back to being 13-16.

784) What's the scariest thing you've ever done?
I guess, running into the middle of a drug bust, looking for my mom, and getting yelled at by a cop to get behind his car because I might get shot.

785) What fairy tale character would you most associate with?
I have no idea. 

786) How much do you tend to swear in public?
Too much.

787) What are your strengths?
I'm stubborn and I have a good gut-instinct.

788) What are your weaknesses?
I don't like authority.

789) What brand are your trainers?
What? Like sneakers? I'm not sure. I need new ones because they have a hole in them now. Ha! Accurate again!

790) If you ruled your own country, who would you get to writer your national anthem?
Probably Ashley, to be honest.

791) Who is the most intelligent person you know?
Maybe Sissi. Her intelligence astounds me whenever I talk to her.

791) What's the craziest thing you've ever done for someone?
Moved from Alabama to Arizona.

792) How did you get your name?
My mom had two friends with my first and middle name, that they would yell together and she liked the sound of it. Another friend and my mom made a pact that whoever had a daughter first, would have that name. The friend, sadly, passed away so my mom kept her side of the pact. Most of my family just believes that I have two grandmothers with those names, which I do, but my mom wasn't aware of that when she chose the names.

793) What's the best piece of advice anyone has ever given you?
It came from Princess (who calls everyone Princess, which is how she got her nickname here). "You're always a princess, my dear. Keep your head up or your crown will fall. And princesses never let their crowns fall." I liked it so much that I screen-captured the text and I still have it.

794) If you had to describe yourself as a flavor, what would it be?
Probably sour.

795) If you had to describe yourself as a car, what would it be?
I don't know any cars though.

796) If you had to describe yourself as an animal, what would it be?
A cat. FML. I bet Wolfy read this because he keeps calling me a cat and I keep saying "BUT I'M NOT A CAT".

797) Do you think laughing at someone else's misfortune is wrong?
Yes, but that doesn't mean I haven't laughed at someone else's misfortune.

798) If a loved one was to serenade you, what song would you most like them to sing?
I would really rather this not be a thing.

799) Would you ever let your parents pick out a partner for you?
I answered this like six hundred questions ago.

800) Have you ever tried spam? (the meat product)

     Last year, it took me three days to answer all of these questions but it seems not a lot has actually changed so I finished this in two and a half hours. I'm pretty impressed with myself. Anyone who wants to try this is welcome to it, but I do respectfully ask that you give credit to Ashley for the questions because she did send them all to me.

     I'll have a hamster post up sometime next week and I'll announce the winner of the contest some time in October.