Monday, June 13, 2016


     Don't get me wrong, I don't hate telemarketers for doing their jobs. It doesn't bother me at all. Considering how much I hate making phone calls, especially to people that I don't know, I almost admire them. Like, props to them for doing an honest job so that they can earn money. Better than being a drug dealer or a black market gun smuggler.

     However, please don't be the person that makes something super weird. Don't say something that's going to leave the person on the other end of the phone wondering how the fuck they're supposed to respond.

Me: Hi! Thank you for calling (name of my store). This is Rachel. How can I help you?
Man: Hi Sweetie! My name is (whatever the fuck he said). I'm a salesman from a window installation company. Is your mom or dad home?

     I didn't even know where to begin. I didn't know if I should tell him that he had called a business that does not have any outside windows and that should he want to discuss windows, he should call the mall leasing office which handles all the windows in the building. Not the store, which actually has no real say over any sort of construction, because my goodness the lease is strict.

     I didn't know if I should tell him that I'm 22, nearly 23, but thank you for saying I still sound young enough to live with my parents. Or maybe it was an insult by saying I sound immature. I'm not sure. Should I have questioned him? I don't know. I couldn't decide.

     What if I had made some crack about putting my fucking juice box down so I could go to the airport, get on a plane, fly 1600 miles all the way back to my mom's house, go knock on the door, hand her the phone, and say, "Mommy, there's a man on the phone for you."?

     I was so dumbfounded that I didn't even say anything for a full minute. When I finally did, all I could squeak out was, "Umm.... I'm the manager of a business. I think you have the wrong number. Can I help you with anything?" to which he got flustered and quickly said goodbye.